 | The Writings of Bret Harte |  |
UNCLE JUBA
“Dar was a man in Florida, dey called him ‘Uncle Ju,’
De doctor found him proof agin all fevers dat dey knew;
De cholera bacillus he would brush away like flies,
And yaller fever microbes he would simply jess despise.
For he was such a bery seasoned nigger
Froo and froo—all froo,
Jess de acclimated, vaccinated figger
To do—to do.
When de sojer boys came marching, dey would shout,
‘Lordy! Here 's de man for Cuba—trot him out.
For even if he cannot pull a trigger
Just like you—like you,
He 's a seasoned and an acclimated figure,
Dat will do—will do.’
De doctor found him proof agin all fevers dat dey knew;
De cholera bacillus he would brush away like flies,
And yaller fever microbes he would simply jess despise.
For he was such a bery seasoned nigger
Froo and froo—all froo,
Jess de acclimated, vaccinated figger
To do—to do.
423
‘Lordy! Here 's de man for Cuba—trot him out.
For even if he cannot pull a trigger
Just like you—like you,
He 's a seasoned and an acclimated figure,
Dat will do—will do.’
“De proudest man in Florida dat day was ‘Uncle Ju,’
When dey marched him off to Cuba wid de odder boys in blue;
He had a brand-new uniform, a red cross on his arm,
He said, ‘Don't mind me, darkies, I can't come to any harm,
For de surgeon dat inspected of my figger
When on view—on view,
Sez I'm just de kind of acclimated nigger
Dat 'ud do—would do.
I can tackle yaller fever all de day,
I'm de only man for Cuba what can stay,
For agin de bery worst kind of malaria
Dat dey knew—dey knew,
I'm an iron-plated, sheathed and belted area
Froo and froo—all froo.’
When dey marched him off to Cuba wid de odder boys in blue;
He had a brand-new uniform, a red cross on his arm,
He said, ‘Don't mind me, darkies, I can't come to any harm,
For de surgeon dat inspected of my figger
When on view—on view,
Sez I'm just de kind of acclimated nigger
Dat 'ud do—would do.
I can tackle yaller fever all de day,
I'm de only man for Cuba what can stay,
For agin de bery worst kind of malaria
Dat dey knew—dey knew,
I'm an iron-plated, sheathed and belted area
Froo and froo—all froo.’
“Alas! for Ju, poor Uncle Ju, aldo' dar was no doubt
Dey passed him froo as fever proof, one ting dey had left out;
For while he took his rations straight, and odders died like flies,
Along o' dat 'er Yaller Jack and deadly Cuban skies,
And though such a bery highly seasoned nigger
Froo and froo—all froo,
And an acclimated, vaccinated figure
Just like new—like new,
One day a Spanish gunner sent a shell
Which skooted dat poor darkie off to dwell
Where de fever would send any odder nigger
Like you—like you,
For it flattened out dat acclimated figger
Ob old Ju—poor Ju.”
Dey passed him froo as fever proof, one ting dey had left out;
For while he took his rations straight, and odders died like flies,
Along o' dat 'er Yaller Jack and deadly Cuban skies,
And though such a bery highly seasoned nigger
Froo and froo—all froo,
And an acclimated, vaccinated figure
Just like new—like new,
424
Which skooted dat poor darkie off to dwell
Where de fever would send any odder nigger
Like you—like you,
For it flattened out dat acclimated figger
Ob old Ju—poor Ju.”
| The Writings of Bret Harte | |