 | [Ralph Roister Doister] |  |
Scæna. v.
Roister Doister. Mathewe Merygreeke. Scriuener.R. Royster.
What is a gentleman but his worde and his promise?
I must nowe saue this vilaines lyfe in any wise,
And yet at hym already my handes doe tickle,
I shall vneth holde them, they wyll be so fickle.
But lo and Merygreeke haue not brought him sens?
M. Mery.
Nay I woulde I had of my purse payde fortie pens.
Scriuener.
So woulde I too: but it needed not that stounde,
M. Mery.
But the ientman had rather spent fiue thousande pounde,
For it disgraced him at least fiue tymes so muche.
Scriuener.
He disgraced hym selfe, his loutishnesse is suche.
R. Royster.
Howe long they stande prating? Why comst thou not away?
M. Mery.
Come nowe to hymselfe, and hearke what he will say.
Scriuener.
I am not afrayde in his presence to appeere.
R. Royster.
Arte thou come felow?
Scri.
How thinke you? am I not here?
R. Royster.
What hindrance hast thou done me, and what villanie?
Scriuener.
It hath come of thy selfe, if thou hast had any.
R. Royster.
All the stocke thou comest of later or rather,
From thy fyrst fathers grandfathers fathers father,
Though to three score generations they descende,
Can be able to make me a iust recompense,
For this trespasse of thine and this one offense.
Scriuener.
Wherin?
R. R.
Did not you make me a letter brother?
Scriuener.
Pay the like hire, I will make you suche an other.
R. Royster.
Nay see and these whooreson Phariseys and Scribes
Doe not get their liuyng by polling and bribes.
If it were not for shame.
Scriuener.
Nay holde thy hands still.
M. Mery.
Why did ye not promise that ye would not him spill?
Scriuener.
Let him not spare me.
R. R.
Why wilt thou strike me again?
Scriuener.
Ye shall haue as good as ye bring of me that is plaine.
M. Mery.
I can not blame him sir, though your blowes wold him greue.
For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye geue.
R. Royster.
Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.
Scriuener.
And what say ye to me? or else I will be gon.
R. Royster.
I say the letter thou madest me was not good.
Scriuener.
Then did ye wrong copy it of likelyhood.
R. Royster.
Yes, out of thy copy worde for worde I it wrote.
Scriuener.
Then was it as ye prayed to haue it I wote,
But in reading and pointyng there was made some faulte.
R. Royster.
I wote not, but it made all my matter to haulte.
Scriuener.
Howe say you, is this mine originall or no?
R. Royster.
The selfe same that I wrote out of, so mote I go.
Scriuener.
Loke you on your owne fist, and I will looke on this,
And let this man be iudge whether I reade amisse.
To myne owne dere coney birde, sweete heart, and pigsny,
Good mistresse Custance, present these by and by.
How now? doth not this superscription agree?
R. Royster.
Reade that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.
Scriuener.
Sweete mistresse, where as I loue you, nothing at all
Regarding your richesse and substance: chiefe of all
For your personage, beautie, demeanour and witte
I commende me vnto you: Neuer a whitte
For (as I heare say) suche your conditions are,
That ye be worthie fauour: Of no liuing man
To be abhorred: of euery honest man
To be taken for a woman enclined to vice
Nothing at all: to vertue giuing hir due price.
Wherfore concerning mariage, ye are thought
Suche a sine Paragon, as nere honest man bought.
And nowe by these presents I doe you aduertise,
That I am minded to marrie you: In no wyse
For your goodes and substance: I can be content
To take you as you are: yf ye will be my wife,
Ye shall be assured for the time of my life,
I wyll keepe you right well: from good raiment and fare,
Ye shall not be kept: but in sorowe and care
Ye shall in no wyse lyue: at your owne libertie,
Doe and say what ye lust: ye shall neuer please me
But when ye are merrie: I will bee all sadde
When ye are sorie: I wyll be very gladde
When ye seeke your heartes ease: I wyll be vnkinde
At no time: in me shall ye muche gentlenesse finde.
But all things contrary to your will and minde
Shall be done otherwise: I wyll not be behynde
To speake: And as for all they that woulde do you wrong,
(I wyll so helpe and maintayne ye) shall not lyue long.
Nor any foolishe doite shall cumber you, but I,
I, who ere say nay, wyll sticke by you tyll I die.
Thus good mistresse Custance, the lorde you saue and kepe.
From me Roister Doister, whether I wake or slepe,
Who fauoureth you no lesse, (ye may be bolde)
Than this letter purporteth, which ye haue vnfolde.
Now sir, what default can ye finde in this letter?
R. Royster.
Of truth in my mynde there can not be a better.
Scriuener.
Then was the fault in readyng, and not in writyng,
But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?
M. Mery.
I redde it in deede.
Scri.
Ye red it not as ye ought.
R. Royster.
Why thou wretched villaine was all this same fault in thee?
M. Mery.
I knocke your costarde if ye offer to strike me.
R. Royster.
Strikest thou in deede? and I offer but in iest?
M. Mery.
Yea and rappe you againe except ye can sit in rest.
And I will no longer tarie here me beleue.
R. Royster.
What wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgeue?
Fare thou well scribler, I crie thee mercie in deede.
Scriuener.
Fare ye well bibbler, and worthily may ye speede.
R. Royster.
If it were an other but thou, it were a knaue.
M. Mery.
Ye are an other your selfe sir, the lorde vs both saue,
Albeit in this matter I must your pardon craue,
Alas woulde ye wyshe in me the witte that ye haue?
But as for my fault I can quickely amende,
I will shewe Custance it was I that did offende.
R. Royster.
By so doing hir anger may be reformed.
M. Mery.
But if by no entreatie she will be turned,
Then sette lyght by hir and bee as testie as shee,
And doe your force vpon hir with extremitie.
R. Roister.
Come on therefore lette vs go home in sadnesse.
M. Mery.
That if force shall neede all may be in a readinesse,
And as for thys letter hardely let all go,
We wyll know where she refuse you for that or no.
Exeant am.
| [Ralph Roister Doister] | |