University of Virginia Library

SCENE IV.

Enter Hylas, and Samuel.
Hyl.
I care not for my broken head,
But that it should be his plot, and a wench too,
A lowzie, lazie wench prepar'd to do it.

Sam.
Thou hadst as good be quiet, for o my conscience
He'l put another on thee else.

Hyl.
I am resolv'd
To call him to account, was it not manifest
He meant a mischief to me, and laughed at me,
When he lay roaring out, his leg was broken,
And no such matter? had he broke his neck,
Indeed 'twould ne'r have griev'd me; gallows gall him.
Why should he chuse out me?

Sam.
Thou art ever ready
To thrust thy self into these she occasions,
And he as full of knavery to accept it.

Hyl.
Well, if I live I'll have a new trick for him.

Sam.
That will not be amiss, but to fight with him
Is to no purpose; besides, he's truly valiant,
And a most deadly hand; thou never fought'st yet,
Nor o' my Conscience hast no faith in fighting.

Hyl.
No, no, I will not fight.

Sam.
Besides the quarrel,
Which has a woman in't to make it scurvy,
Who would lye stinking in a Surgeons hands,
A month or two this weather? for believe it,
He never hurts under a quarters healing.

Hyl.
No, upon better thought, I will not fight, Sam,
But watch my time.

Sam.
To pay him with a project;
Watch him too, I would wish ye; prithee tell me,
Dost thou affect these women still?

Hyl.
Yes, 'faith, Sam,
I love 'em ev'n as well as e'r I did,
Nay, if my brains were beaten out, I must to 'em.

Sam.
Dost thou love any woman?

Hyl.
Any woman
Of what degree or calling.

Sam.
Of any age too?

Hyl.
Of any age, from fourscore to fourteen, Boy,
Of any fashion.

Sam.
And defect too?

Hyl.
Right,
For those I love to lead me to repentance;
A woman with no Nose, after my surquedry,
Shews like King Philip's Moral, Memento mori;
And she that has a wooden leg, demonstrates
Like Hypocrites, we halt before the gallows;
An old one with one tooth, seems to say to us,
Sweets meats have sowr sauce; she that's full of aches,
Crum not your Bread before you taste your Porridge,
And many morals we may find.

Sam.
'Tis well, Sir,
Ye make so worthy uses; but quid igitur,
What shall we now determine?

Hyl.
Let's consider
An hour or two how I may fit this fellow.

Sam.
Let's find him first, he'll quickly give occasion,
But take heed to your self, and say I warn'd ye;
He has a plaguey pate.

Hyl.
That at my danger.

[Exeunt.
[Musick.