University of Virginia Library

SECT. VIII

A hatefull swarme, the shot one pai'd:
The plaister'd Crue, seizd goods, what stai'd.
They bib a fresh; the Cripples will:
A bore, the Ruiners lines prove ill.
The day being driven neare the furthest point,
Sence dead asleepe: Discretion out of joint;
Blacke darkenesse rul'd with triumph: sent out spies,
To take close prisoners, all with open eyes;
Least they should view the workes (by candle light)
Untill they were exchang'd for bratts of night.
The Starres did feare infection: and the Moone
Turn'd backe with feare to see one night so soone
Should gender such corruption; wherein breedes
Such strange shap'd Vermine, and such hatefull deedes,
By them adorn'd. Those that love slothfull rest,
Call her sweete shadow, Chamber for the blest.
Now, to my worke. I scouted out, and found

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A sixe fold knotte, One in a drunken swound
Lay stretching by the rest. One's like to choke;
The third (whose heathen weede—turn'd into smoke,
Will cure all distempers, in the braine,)
Is but a learner yet, The fourth had a vaine
With new-found baites, to cheate the silly fish,

The cape.


Had he but catcht'em, he'd present a dish
To these, his friends. The fifth a grosse offender,
And judg'd to be but of the doubtfull gender.
The last was of the neuter: but to night
Their gender's common in the Coblers sight.
The lustfull Ape would blush to heare it nam'd,
And brazen impudence would be asham'd.
They'd swear and drink out time: they with their whores
Did onely chase his fore top out of dores,
And saw him bald behinde: one sculks away;
But now the reck'ning comes, which one must pay.
The Captaine has no coyne: but he intends
To leave his tooles: which with the Coblers ends,
Will stoppe a hole. The man that suks the weed
Is flush, as yet;—and he must doe the deed.

The Bill.

No. 1.

For two and forty Pots of Ale,
And Jug that told the merry tale:
0 11 s. 6d.
No. 2.
For Wine, and Sugar, and for Nell,
But you must pay for what befell
1l. 2s. 3d.
No. 3.
For Cakes, Strong-water, Smoke, and Wood,
Pay all, and ther's my Flagon good:
0 17s. 0.
No. 4.
But I forgot, you had at first,
Of Red-Cowes milke to quench your thirst.
0 1s. 7d.
His purse did swell, till he had paid,
But then the rising bunch was laid.
2l. 12s. 4d.

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One foaming like a Boare, that's not excus'd,
Who haunts the sinkes of sinne, and he is us'd
For hotter worke. For he goes up and downe
To serve the queanes, their friends being out of towne.
But then, there was presented to my fight
A Master-Peere: the worst I saw to night:
A formelesse heape of rubbish in a Cell,
Almost as darke, and not so hot as Hell:
Yet living buggs. Some had but halfe a face
Some halfe a nose, some none, some, in the place
Had lost their legges, another wants his arme,
Another both: some hands, some had their harme
About their loynes: some wanting eares, some eyes,
Some Gregory scorcht'; their sight I did despise,
But twas my charge: and none that perfect be
Can be prefer'd to this societie.
They had been Theevs, Sharks, Panders, Pimps & Bauds,
Turn'd beggers by degrees, vers'd in those frauds.
They give instructions: sit as Judges all,
And have allowance from the Common hall.
They point their walks, their houses, when to meete,
Which rob in private, which in open streete;
Who to be baud in cheife: who Maior Pimpe,
Who Warden of the hall: and every Impe
Receive their orders from'em, and they doe
Make lawes, and punish grosse offenders too;
They make them pay excise for severall sinnes;
Their Cabbs in graine:—yet, one of them beginnes
To hate malignant humors; and declares,
How they consume their stock; and he prepares

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A bill against them, but, before twas fram'd
His goods were seiz'd: in th' inventery nam'd.

Primo

A dish, two spoones, two earthen pans,
A tub, two stooles, one was his mans.
Secundo
A dublet, and a paire of hose:
The coat's at pawne belong to those:
Tertio
A pot, a cubbard, and a knife,
A gooding bagge, a coyfe for s wife.
Quarto
A boxe of salve, and two brasse rings;
With Parkers workes, and such like things.
Quinto
A bedstead, and a bed of straw;
A sheete, a rugge: all which I saw.
Sexto
With other lumber, being gest,
Will come to nine pence at the least.
Besides, he has convey'd away,
A bowle, a skillet, and a tray,
A trowell, and a paire of tongs:
And downe this Court apparant wrongs.
He stands sequesterd: now he's made their scoffe;
Being a delinquent, who can take it off?
I must goe view my Senators, who have
New plaisterd all their sores: they onely crave
An other tub of Ale, to laugh and prate:
And he shall pay for't out of his estate.
The chiefe of these did surfet, and was ill:
So sicke, at last, that he did make his will.
In manner and forme following.
Inprimis
I doe bequeath my pallet bed

The Beggers Will.


My hat, my cap upon my head.
To Will in Newgate.
Item
My pewter dish, my earthen ware,

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And sheetes, I thinke I have a paire.
To Doll in Old Bridewell.
Item
My table, and my two joyn'd stooles,
My trusses, and my plastering tooles.
To Ned in the Clink.
Item
I freely give my pleared Ruffe,
The third part of my Housholdstuffe.
To Moll in the Gate-House.
Item
The other two parts I bestowe
(If he will pay what ere I owe.)
To George in the White Lyon.
Item
I give my shirt, an ell of lawne,
Which lye for eighteene pence at pawne.
To Nan in the Marshall Sea for clouts.
Item
My wearing clothes within my Chest,
The Cloke hath beene but nine times drest
To Clem in the Counter.
Item
My second cruch, scrapt lint, fine clouts.
An ounce of pills, or thereabouts
To Giles in the Hospitall.
Item
My better crutch, my plasterd rowle,
Boxe-legge, receits, and bowzing bowle.
To this Worthy Assembly.
As for my soule, I cannot tell
Whe're tis for heaven or for hell:
I leave it to the venture.
A private dunghill for my grave,
My corps cast in, by night, I'd have:
Least Cavies Idolize my name,
Or envious Roundheads blase my shame.
I leave it to your wise consideration.

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Being joynt Executors, this my will
Within two monthes, you must fulfill.
Or my Ghost will vexe you.
But this disaster parted all the rout,
T'will cost you paines agen to finde them out;
A Poetaster comes, I taxe his crimes,
And yet I feare he'll lash me with his rimes:
The'are rough, nocudence, no, nor Accents made:
They trot as hard as any Carriers Jade.
They keepe no measure, nor no swelling grace,
Know no begining, nor no ending place.
He racks his muse from sence, nor doth he know
How to sing cleare aloft, or smooth below.
Art, wit, or fancie, raptures, or conceit,
They are not guilty of: but stuft as streight
With ekes, from ofs, for toos, ands adverbs weight.
As is the horseleech, or the humble Asse,

the Poetaster.


Whose sides bagg out, when newly fetcht from grasse
His prayses make them rich. He hewes their feete
Like his that rim'd for farthings in the streete,
Yet they have tooke a Pinnas, who's at strife,
To cut the throate, or poison his poore wife.
But feares the Wardens check: (her love of late)
That walks to's Mannor once a Month in state.
He's carr'd a begging paper to a Knight,

Begging


Or else he had bin study'ng all this night
They made his worship laugh: yet gave no chink:
But stuft his belly, and his braines with drink.

rime


His rimes made privy seales: he sweares (being vext,)
He'll write no more to Knights: a Lord's the next.
He rail'd, and reel'd about, untill he found
His heels betray'd his fancies to the ground:

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But no learshon: poore Poets old excuse!
His stock was witte, before 'twas put to use.
As is the Ty-dog mad, when he breaks loose,

the Morrall.


Here spoiles a sheepe, and there he pulls a goose,
Yonder a calfe. With rage and venome prest,
He'll bite a man, as well as teare a beast.
At last he's caught: he dies: they seize his skinne;
He suffers for his fact (yet free from sinne)
Being hard to take, so violent and curst,
Before he dyes, he's knockt and mangled first.
Such fit similitude may blaze your ill;
To open view: although he made no will.
You all had chaines, by nature, on your necks;
Nor did all spring from dunghills: but had checks
With sweeter education: Natures tye
Is broke by force: from what you learn'd your flye:
Make spoyle of what you finde, inrage a while
You pull and teare: and growing still more vile
By sinne you'r caught: burnt, mangl'd and disgrac't,
Disarmd, unnos'd, dismouth'd, and some unfac't.
The Law doth seare, whippe, crop you: at the last
Death takes you as he findes you: having cast
Your naisty, plaisterd corpse into the dirt,
Your soules grow mad, where they can doe no hurt.
I pitty you. Ah! must your helplesse soules
Dwell still in teares and groanes! where hels black roules
Ingroc't with all your sinnes, lye in your sight!
To gnaw your wounds, but never see the light!
Yet all such torments, with the soule, in summes,
Dwell but as earnest till the body comes.