University of Virginia Library

Yippies Reveal Plan
For Zeta Ray Emitter

"The United States of Amerika
will become a tiny Yippie island in a
vast sea of Yippieland love," concludes
Jerry Rubin in his "Do It"
scenario fr the future. This while
clocks and watches are destroyed,
barbers rehabilitated and the Pentagon
converted into an LSD experimental
farm.

IT CAN'T HAPPEN HERE!

Two days ago the following communique
was received from the
Youth International Party of Charlottesville:

"The group of people you have
been showing in the past few issues
of your paper and calling Yippies
are in fact, nothing less than impostors.
We true Yippies are not so
revisionist as to allow a petit-bourgeols
publication like The
Cavalier Daily to show our photographs
on pages devoted entirely to
middle class tripe.

"Our place in Charlottesville is
instead truly underground - we are
presently headquartered in an unknown
tunnel built in 1806 by
Crazy Tom to smuggle illegal Polish
hams into Virginia.

"With us are a team of renegade
White Chinese scientists presently
involved in the construction of an
extra-galactic zeta beam emitter,
which, when activated, will induce
a time warp in the Charlottesville
area, returning it to the Pleistocene
Epoch.

"Also in the planning stages, but
with a smaller chance of success, is
a portable bad Karma transmitter,
hopefully capable of transforming
enemies of the cause into cockroaches.

"Enough of future plans; suffice
it to say that we will continue our
Festival of Life beyond and under
the pages of The Cavalier Daily.

"Kill all Parents.

"Destroy all schools.

"Give Peace a chance, Weanie."

The message is signed by three
Yippie dignitaries - Chairman
"Stash" Yankovitch; Minister of
Self-Defense, Jesus Rodriguiz; and
Minister of Correct Thinking, Julie
Lunchonmeet. It was delivered by a
clothed courier, who spoke with a
heavy American accent.

The party's rejection and disavowal
of the photograph in question
heap added perplexity on an
already garbled situation. Reports
have it that certain University administrators
are searching for a copy
of the photo which appeared in
The Cavalier Daily two days last
week.

Yippies claim administration officials
were put uptight by the
whole affair, which set the stage for
last weekend's free rock concert at
Lile-Maupin. "They want to know
who we are," added the spokesman.

Apparently, administration officials
were subject to a series of
inquiries from alumni, curious and
livid alike, some of whom construed
provisional plans to "levitate
Scott Stadium" to mean that
the facility would be blown up
during last Saturday's football
game.

It was not, and the Cavaliers
went on to defeat VMI 49-10.