The three tours of Doctor Syntax In search of 1. The picturesque, 2. Of consolation, 3. Of a wife. The text complete. [By William Combe] With four illustrations |
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 | The three tours of Doctor Syntax |  |
The Doctor thus was well prepar'd To keep himself upon his guard,
And when he reach'd the hall, he found
Th'assembled Misses ranged around,
In the full ton, and rather pretty, With apt pretensions to be witty.
The dinner came with taste prepar'd,
And Syntax its rare bounties shar'd:
In the dessert fresh garlands bloom,
Whose odours fill'd the ambient room;
And much he thought the coming hours
Would blossom with the world of flowers,
Their classes, orders, native dies, Their species and varieties,
Their leaves, trunk, stem, supports and root,
Their flow'ring, with their seed or fruit;—
He thought they would Linnæus quote,
And all Miss Wakefield speak by rote.
But not a word was said of flowers,
No sweets were there, they dealt in sours,
For not a thought dismiss'd a sound
But some known name receiv'd a wound.
Among the grave, they nought could see But symbols of hypocrisy,
While those whom merry fancy rules Were noisy and outrageous fools;
The grave, the gay, the old and young,
Felt the full malice of their tongue:
And as for beauty, not a grace Was own'd to smile about the place.
Tea came, nor did its cheering water
Check the malignant, smashing slaughter:
For still they told of ev'ry feud That did disturb the neighbourhood:
The gossip's tale and envy's gall Resounded in the blooming hall.
—The sage benignant utter'd nought
But thus indulg'd the secret thought:
“Where all these fragrant flow'rets blow,
Rue, wormwood, nettles, ought to grow.”
And when he reach'd the hall, he found
Th'assembled Misses ranged around,
In the full ton, and rather pretty, With apt pretensions to be witty.
The dinner came with taste prepar'd,
And Syntax its rare bounties shar'd:
In the dessert fresh garlands bloom,
Whose odours fill'd the ambient room;
And much he thought the coming hours
Would blossom with the world of flowers,
Their classes, orders, native dies, Their species and varieties,
Their leaves, trunk, stem, supports and root,
Their flow'ring, with their seed or fruit;—
He thought they would Linnæus quote,
And all Miss Wakefield speak by rote.
But not a word was said of flowers,
No sweets were there, they dealt in sours,
For not a thought dismiss'd a sound
But some known name receiv'd a wound.
Among the grave, they nought could see But symbols of hypocrisy,
While those whom merry fancy rules Were noisy and outrageous fools;
The grave, the gay, the old and young,
Felt the full malice of their tongue:
And as for beauty, not a grace Was own'd to smile about the place.
Tea came, nor did its cheering water
Check the malignant, smashing slaughter:
For still they told of ev'ry feud That did disturb the neighbourhood:
The gossip's tale and envy's gall Resounded in the blooming hall.
—The sage benignant utter'd nought
But thus indulg'd the secret thought:
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Rue, wormwood, nettles, ought to grow.”
| The three tours of Doctor Syntax | |