The three tours of Doctor Syntax In search of 1. The picturesque, 2. Of consolation, 3. Of a wife. The text complete. [By William Combe] With four illustrations |
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 | The three tours of Doctor Syntax |  |
As Syntax did the landscape trace The widow'd mistress of the place
Appear'd with welcome in her face,
Which she confirm'd with cheering voice.
“To see you, Sir, I do rejoice,
Pleas'd too that you did not delay Your coming here beyond to-day:
We want just such a man as you To please and to instruct us too:
For I expect three charming neighbours
Who aid me in my floral labours:
But I this counsel must impart;—
Cast a broad buckler o'er your heart:
For 'tis my duty, though a stranger, To warn you of a certain danger
Thus you will, now, your mind prepare Our lively, social joys to share;
While I to-morrow shall decree To Flowers and to Philosophy.
But as the toilette now attends To deck me out to meet my friends,
I leave you, Sir, till I am drest, To do whate'er may suit you best.”
Then from her breast-knot gay she took
A nosegay, and, with gracious look,
“This gift,” she said, “I pray receive, It is the sweetest I can give.”
“Nay,” he replied, “the gift I view,
Is sweeter, since it came from you—”
And thus the young acquaintance grew.
—The Doctor up the village walk'd
And with the gazing peasants talk'd,
When as a church rose in his view,
He thought there was a parson too;
So to the vicarage he hied Where at the window he espied
A damsel full of joke and laughter,
Who prov'd to be the parson's daughter.
He with respectful look and mien, Ask'd if her father could be seen,
When, with quick speech and sprightly eye,
The fair one hasten'd to reply,
“I'm sorry you to-day are come, As my dear father is from home,
For he is gone to take his station At the Archdeacon's visitation.”—
“Will you then say, my pretty dear!
That Doctor Syntax has been here,
And if it is my lot to stay At Tulip-Hall another day,
If I to-morrow should remain, I hope, sweet maid, to call again:
In the mean time, I pray, receive, 'Tis all, I fear, I have to give,
These flowers, in whose form is shown, A native beauty like your own;
And may it, many a coming year, In all its present glow appear!”
He did his fragrant gift present, She revell'd in the charming scent,
And smil'd a grateful compliment.
—A matron who was on the watch, From upper window in the thatch,
Thought it but proper to descend, And give the warnings of a friend.
“I'm sister, Sir, to our Divine, Nay that Miss is a niece of mine,
And much I wish to hint to you What my good brother's self would do;
That you must your keen thoughts prepare
To guard against some hidden snare,
By which you may become the tool Of Lady Tulip's ridicule:
For she delights, at the expence Of men of gravity and sense,
To make some saucy trick prevail, And furnish out a merry tale,
In which her well-fed guests combine,
And scandal-mongers love to join;
As by example will appear From the recital you shall hear.
“Last week, she had the art to move
A neighb'ring 'Squire to offer love;
And while upon his knees he swore He lov'd as none e'er lov'd before,
She scream'd aloud, while 'tis as certain,
Three Misses, hid behind the curtain,
Did with their added clamours rouse
The various guardians of the house,
Who in the carpet did enfold him,
And all along the flooring roll'd him;
Then squatted on him, but no further,
As they might run the risque of murther.
Embrown'd with dust, all hot and panting,
Cursing the hour of his gallanting,
How he recover'd, no one knows
But round the neighbourhood there goes,
Or true or false, a curious story, Which I decline to lay before you:
But wheresoe'er the 'Squire can move,
He hears the tale of making love;
And all repeat the carpet brawl That shook the floors of Tulip-Hall.
Now, should this strange, capricious dame
Attempt on you some idle game,
Let not, I beg, your patience leave you,
Be calm, come here, and we'll receive you.”
Appear'd with welcome in her face,
Which she confirm'd with cheering voice.
“To see you, Sir, I do rejoice,
Pleas'd too that you did not delay Your coming here beyond to-day:
We want just such a man as you To please and to instruct us too:
310
Who aid me in my floral labours:
But I this counsel must impart;—
Cast a broad buckler o'er your heart:
For 'tis my duty, though a stranger, To warn you of a certain danger
Thus you will, now, your mind prepare Our lively, social joys to share;
While I to-morrow shall decree To Flowers and to Philosophy.
But as the toilette now attends To deck me out to meet my friends,
I leave you, Sir, till I am drest, To do whate'er may suit you best.”
Then from her breast-knot gay she took
A nosegay, and, with gracious look,
“This gift,” she said, “I pray receive, It is the sweetest I can give.”
“Nay,” he replied, “the gift I view,
Is sweeter, since it came from you—”
And thus the young acquaintance grew.
—The Doctor up the village walk'd
And with the gazing peasants talk'd,
When as a church rose in his view,
He thought there was a parson too;
So to the vicarage he hied Where at the window he espied
A damsel full of joke and laughter,
Who prov'd to be the parson's daughter.
He with respectful look and mien, Ask'd if her father could be seen,
When, with quick speech and sprightly eye,
The fair one hasten'd to reply,
“I'm sorry you to-day are come, As my dear father is from home,
For he is gone to take his station At the Archdeacon's visitation.”—
“Will you then say, my pretty dear!
That Doctor Syntax has been here,
And if it is my lot to stay At Tulip-Hall another day,
If I to-morrow should remain, I hope, sweet maid, to call again:
In the mean time, I pray, receive, 'Tis all, I fear, I have to give,
These flowers, in whose form is shown, A native beauty like your own;
And may it, many a coming year, In all its present glow appear!”
He did his fragrant gift present, She revell'd in the charming scent,
And smil'd a grateful compliment.
—A matron who was on the watch, From upper window in the thatch,
Thought it but proper to descend, And give the warnings of a friend.
“I'm sister, Sir, to our Divine, Nay that Miss is a niece of mine,
And much I wish to hint to you What my good brother's self would do;
That you must your keen thoughts prepare
To guard against some hidden snare,
By which you may become the tool Of Lady Tulip's ridicule:
For she delights, at the expence Of men of gravity and sense,
To make some saucy trick prevail, And furnish out a merry tale,
In which her well-fed guests combine,
And scandal-mongers love to join;
As by example will appear From the recital you shall hear.
“Last week, she had the art to move
A neighb'ring 'Squire to offer love;
And while upon his knees he swore He lov'd as none e'er lov'd before,
311
Three Misses, hid behind the curtain,
Did with their added clamours rouse
The various guardians of the house,
Who in the carpet did enfold him,
And all along the flooring roll'd him;
Then squatted on him, but no further,
As they might run the risque of murther.
Embrown'd with dust, all hot and panting,
Cursing the hour of his gallanting,
How he recover'd, no one knows
But round the neighbourhood there goes,
Or true or false, a curious story, Which I decline to lay before you:
But wheresoe'er the 'Squire can move,
He hears the tale of making love;
And all repeat the carpet brawl That shook the floors of Tulip-Hall.
Now, should this strange, capricious dame
Attempt on you some idle game,
Let not, I beg, your patience leave you,
Be calm, come here, and we'll receive you.”
| The three tours of Doctor Syntax | |