 | The Two Noble Ladies |  |
Sce. 3.
Enter Barebones and Cantharides.Barebones.
O the devill, that euer a man should loue a woman truly! [I could]
I could not be content to enioy[s] Caro as my concubine which in that
humor she would willingly haue been; but I must marrie her with
a murren. And now the power of the charme is spent, and she
come to her selfe againe, she is mad at her match, hates me, rayles
at mee, vows to my teeth to [mak] cuckold mee, and like a moste cruell
creature all her delight is in Bloud: she hangs about his necke
them together, and so make a halter to hang my selfe withall.
Nay though she cares not for Sinew, yet before me she will kisse
him, and com̄end him, only to vex me. O Cantharides, why
did your charme last no longer?[,] I would haue had her kept in that
minde euer.
Cantharides.
O sir, all the Deuills in hell cannot make a woman constant.
Barebones.
I beleeue it, for constancie is a vertue, and the Devill has nothing
to doe with it. But thou canst keep her in vnconstancie, and
after she has held her hatefull humor a while, thou canst make
her louing againe; canst thou not?
Cantharides.
Yes, I can claw her into loue of you againe presently.
Barebones.
O no, no, not so soone good Cantharides, that loue is but lust,
And my poore bones haue spent so much marrow vpon her allready
that my stocke is not sufficient to satisfie her ramping humor yet.
Cantharides.
Well, for good fellowship sake, because wee both serve [both] one
Master, Ile finde another tricke to fetch you out of the briars.
Barebones.
Wilt thou [deare] Cantharides? doe it; and I will feed thee
with syrups and sweet meats, my pretty humble bee. but how? but how«?[OMITTED]»
why you know the flie Cantharides bites so venomously that he will
make any man madde for the time. now Ile bite some of them out
Ent.
of these fancies into other humors.
Enter Bloud & Caro embracing.
Barebones.
Gramercie for that my deare devills-bit.
See where Bloud and she come together. o my head how it akes
to see this sight. but remember thy promise Cantharides.
stands close.
Caro.
Sweet Bloud, I thancke thee that thou hast forgiven my madnesse
was euer woman so besotted, to forsake court sweetmeats to
gnaw vpon bare-bones wc
h is but dogs meat!
Bare-bones.
She shews her selfe a Bloud-hound, yet scornes to feed with dogs.
Caro.
(asside ... )
The slaue feeles in his bed like a bakers dried bavin,
a smooth round billet weare a princely bed fellow to him[,].
(asside ... )
O my sides and hips, how sore they are with the grateing of his
elbows and hucklebones!
Barebones.
O damnable changeling!
(asside)
[and] when she felt mee first in bed,
she cried the nearer the bone the sweeter the flesh.
Bloud.
ffaith Barebones will get on thee such infant anatomies, that
the Surgeons will buy them vp to saue them selues the labour
of making Sceletons.
Caro.
Sweet, shall you and I haue a match at shittlecocke?
Bloud.
O you are too quicke for mee in flying from one to another.
Barebones.
(asside.)
I, Ile sweare is she.
Caro.
Then let's play at laugh and liedowne.
Bloud.
Content, and Ile shew thee a courtiers bounty, giue the a green gowne.
Barebones.
Hold Mr. Courtier; green is not fit colour for a schollers
wife to weare.
Caro.
Avaunt thou map of miserie, thou relique of a long consumption,
thou fag end of a devouring famine: dost thou thincke
I can content my selfe with a gaunt thingutted rawbon[e]'d
booke-ruffler? who art halfe purblinde with ouer poring,
and hast distilled thy braynes into thyne inckhorne. no, no;
therfore stay not here to stop my delight, lest I make thee
pandar to thyne owne hornes.
Barebones.
O impudence. now help Cantharides.
Enter Sinew disguised with a letter.
Cantharides.
Time enough, I warrant you. feare not.
By your leaue gentlemen; is there not a gentleman here
called Mr. Bloud, an attendant on the lord Colactus?
Bloud.
Yes sir, what with him?
Sinew.
This letter from your Lord: I came in haste from the campe
to bring it you.
Bloud.
I would your haste had been lesse. sweet loue I must leaue
thee; my lord has sent for me in earnest speed.
Barebones.
O ioyfull news! and in moste happie time.
Sinew.
(asside.)
My counterfet letter takes most wishedly.
Caro.
Must it be so? then Ile along with thee. nothing shall part vs now.
Barebones.
O hell-bred wildefier can nothing quench thee!
Sinew.
(asside ... )
death [[illeg.]], then is my plot confounded.
( ... asside)
Nay sir you must not carry a clog along with you. your
haste is of more importance. so please you, Ile bring her
after you.
Bloud.
I will rather venture a little of my Lords displeasure sir,
then leaue her behinde.
ffie, this worse and worse.
Cantharides.
Now is my cue.
Bites Bloud by the arme. he starts from Caro, and runnes vp and downe hollaing: so Exit.
Caro.
Amazement
falls vpon me: how comes this?
Is Bloud vnwilling, I should goe with him
that in this madde forme he outrunnes mee thus?
Barebones.
O excellent Cantharides: now begins thy sport.
Sinew.
This is a strange, but happie accident.
how it befell Ile stand not to enquire; but take the opportunitie
and shew my selfe. Deare Caro, you may see a courtiers
loue is quickly tyr'd; now my disguise is of, you know mee
for your souldier. I tried Bloud with this counterfet message
and you see he is not pure; for hee is glad of the occasion
to shift his hands of you. Now looke on mee, your constant
Sinew that will neuer shrincke.
Caro.
Villayn tis thou hast rob'd me of my ioy, and made my bloud
runne from me: my cheeks shall looke pale vpon thee for it,
and my hart hate thee.
Sinew.
Are all the hopes of my plot come to this?
Cantharides bites him.
hart, what's that bites mee.
He draws his sword and runns vp and downe crying sa sa sa tarararara; so Exit.
Caro.
O excellent, he that certaynly made
Bloud mad; is falln franticke himselfe. I would wish no more
but that Barebones weare in the same case too.
Cantharides.
And you shall haue your wish for once:
Bites Barebones.
Barebones.
So, so; this is braue. thancks for this, Cantharides. Ough,
Amo amas, he thats[[illeg.]] in loue is an asse.
As in præsenti, one woman will make twenty.
Quod dat in datitum, [he that] giue them their due and smite um.
[when] if the sight of theyr husbands affright um;
then shall Cantharides bite um;
and there's the straight um et right um.
Exit.
Caro.
ha ha ha ha ha. some pow'r aboue has heard my wish. o let
mee laugh my belly full.
Cantharides.
So thou shalt, and till thou art wearie.
Bites her. She starts, runns vp and down laughing. & so exit.
hoh, hoh, ho. Now has my devill-ship had sport enough.
with my familiar Barebones and his mates.
Now let them shift: Ile leaue them to their fates.
Exit.
| The Two Noble Ladies | |