 | The Pilgrim |  |
Scæna Tertia.
Enter Alphonso, Master and Keepers.Mast.
Yes sir, here be such people: but how pleasing,
They will appear to you.
Alp.
Pray let me see'm,
I come to that end: pray let me see 'em all.
Mast.
They will confound ye sir, like bels rung backward
They are nothing but confusion, and meer noyses.
Alp.
May be I love a noyse: but hark ye sir,
Have ye no boyes, handsome yong boyes?
Mast.
Yes one sir,
A very handsome boy.
Alp.
Long here?
Mast.
But two dayes;
A little crazed: but much hope of recovery.
Alp.
I that boy, let me see: may be I know him:
That boy, I say: this is the boy he told me of,
And it must needs be she: that boy I beseech ye sir,
That boy I come to see.
Mast.
And ye shall see him:
Or any els, but pray be not too violent.
Alp.
I know what to do I warrant ye: I am for all fancies:
I can talk to 'em, and dispute.
1 Keep.
As madly:
For they be very madde sir.
Alp.
Let 'em be horne mad.
1. Keep.
We have few Citizens: they have bedlames of their own sir,
And are mad at their own charges.
Alp.
Who lies here?
Mast.
Pray ye do not disturb 'em sir, here lie such youths
Will make you start if they but dance their trenchmores.
Fetch out the boy, sirha: hark.
Shake Irons within. Engl. mad-m. Scholler, Parson.
Alp.
Heigh boyes.
Eng.
Bownce,
Clap her o' th Star-hord: bounce: top the can, Jenkin.
Scho.
Dead ye dog, dead: do ye quarrell in my Kingdom?
Give me my trident.
Eng.
Bownce, 'twixt wind and water,
Loaden with Mackrels: O brave meat.
Scho.
My Sea horses.
I'le charge the Northern wind, and break his bladder.
Par.
I'le sell my bels, before I be out-brav'd thus.
Alp.
What's he? what's he?
Mast.
A parson sir, a parson,
That run madde for tythe Goslings.
Alp.
Green sawce cure him.
Pars.
I'le curse ye all, i'le excommunicate ye:
Thou English heretique, give me the tenth pot.
Eng.
Sue me, I'le drink up all, bownce I say once more,
O, have I split your mizen? blow, blow thou West wind,
Blow till thou rive, and make the Sea run roaring.
I'le hisse it down againe with a bottle of Ale.
Scho.
Triton, why Triton.
Eng.
Tritons drunk with metheglin.
Sch.
Strike, strike the surges, strike.
Eng.
Drink, drink, tis day light;
Drink, didle, didle, didle, drink, Parson, proud Parson;
A pigs tayle in thy teeth, and I defie thee.
Par.
Give me some porridge, or i'le damne thee English.
Alp.
How comes this English madde man here?
Mast.
Alas thats no question:
They are mad every where sir;
Their fits are coole now: let 'em rest.
Enter Keepers and shee-foole.
Alp.
Madde Gallants:
Most admirable mad: I love their faces.
1. K.
Ye stinking whore: who knew of this? who lookd to him?
Pox take him, he was sleepy when I left him,
2. K.
Certain he made the foole drunk.
Mast.
How now who's this here?
Where is the boy?
1. Keep.
The boy sir?
Mast.
I the boy, sir.
1. K.
Here's all the boyes we founde.
Mast.
These are his cloths.
But wher's the boy?
She-f.
The boy is gone a maying,
Hee'l bring me home a Cuckowes nest; do ye hear Master
I put my cloths off, and I dizend him,
And pind a plumb in's forehead, and a feather,
And buss'd him twice, and bid him go seek his fortune:
He gave me this fine money, and fine wine too,
And bid me sop: and gave me these trim cloths too,
And put 'em on.
Alp.
Is this the boy you would shew?
She-f.
I'le give you two pence Master.
Alp.
Am I foold of all sidies?
I met a foole i'th woods, they said she dwelt here,
In a long pied coat.
Mast.
That was the very boy, sir.
She-f.
I, I, I, I gave him leave to play forsooth,
Hee'l come again to morrow, and bring pescods.
Mast.
I'le bring your bones.
Alp.
Pox o' your fooles, and bedlams,
Plague o' your owls and apes.
Mast.
Pray ye sir, be tamer,
We cannot help this presently: but we shal know;
I'le recompence your cares too.
Alp.
Know me a pudding.
You juggle, and ye fidle: fart upon ye:
I am abused.
Mast.
Pray ye sir.
Welch madman.
Alp.
And I will be abused sir,
And you shall know I am abused.
Wel.
Whaw, Mr. Keeper.
Alp.
Pox o' thy whawes, and thy whyms,
Pox o' thy urship.
Wel.
Give me some Ceeze, and Onions: give me some wash-brew,
I have—in my bellies: give me abundance,
Pendragon was a Shentleman, marg you sir,
And the Organs at Rixum were made by revelations,
There is a spirit blowes, and blowes the bellowes,
And then they sing.
Alp.
What Moon-calf's this? what dreame?
Mast.
Pray ye sir observe him,
He is a mountaineere, a man of Goteland.
Wel.
I will beate thy face as black as a blew-clout,
I will leave no more sheet in thine eyes.
Mast.
He will not hurt ye.
Wel.
Give me a great deale of guns: thou art the devils,
I know thee by thy tayles: poor Owen's hungry,
I will pig thy bums full of bullets.
Alp.
This is the rarest rascall,
He speakes as if he had butter-milk in's mouth,
Is this any thing a kin to th'English?
64
The elder brother, sir,
He run mad because a rat eate up's cheese.
Alp.
H'ad a great deale of reason sir.
Wel.
Basilus manus, is for an old codpice, mark ye,
I will borrow thy urships whore, to seale a Letter.
Mast.
Now he growes villanous.
Alp.
Me thinks he's best now.
Mast.
Away with him.
Alp.
He shall not.
Mast.
Sir, he must.
Wel.
I will sing, and dance:
Do any thing.
Alp.
Wilt thout declaime in greek?
Mast.
Away with the foole,
And whip her soundly sirah.
She-f.
I'le tell no more tales.
Exit.
Alp.
Or wilt thou fly i'th ayre?
Eng.
Do, and i'le catch thee,
And like a wisp of hay, i'le whirle, and whirle thee,
And puffe thee up: and puff thee up.
Sch.
I'le save thee,
And thou shalt fall into the Sea, soft, softly.
Wel.
I'le get upon a mountaine and call my Countrymen.
Mast.
They all grow wild: away with him for heaven sake,
Sir, ye are much too blame.
Alp.
No, no, tis brave sir,
Ye have cozend me; i'le make you madde.
Mast.
In with him,
And lock him fast.
Alp.
I'le see him in his lodging.
Exit
Mast.
What meanes this Gentleman?
En. Julletta
Jul.
He's in: have at him,
Are you the Master, sir?
Mast.
What would you with him?
Iul.
I have a busines from the Duke of Medina,
Is there not an old Gentleman come lately in?
Mast.
Yes, and a wild one too; But not a prisoner.
Iul.
Did you observe him well? tis like he may be.
Mast.
I have seen younger men of better temper.
Iul.
You have hit the cause I come for: ther's a letter
Pray ye peruse it well: I shall be wi' ye;
And sodainly, I fear not: finley, daintely,
I shall so feed your fierce vexation,
And raise your worships stormes: J shall so niggle ye,
And juggle ye, and fiddle ye, and firck ye:
I'le make ye curse the houre yet vext a woman;
I'le make ye shake, when our sex, are but sounded:
For the Lords sake, we shall have him at; I long to see it
As much as for my wedding night: I gape after it.
Mast.
This Letter sayes the Gentleman is lunatique
I half suspected it.
Iul.
Tis very true sir,
And such prancks he has plaid.
Mast.
He's some great man,
The Duke commands me with such care to look to him,
And if he grow too violent, to correct him,
To use the speediest meanes for his recovery,
And those he must finde sharpe.
Iul.
The better for him:
Mast.
How got ye him hither?
Iul.
With a train, I told him:
He's in love with a boy, there lies his mellancholly.
Mast.
Hither he came to seek one.
Iul.
Yes, J sent him,
Now had we dealt by force, we had never brought him.
Mast.
Here was a boy.
Iul.
He saw him not?
Mast.
He was gon first.
Iul.
It is the better; looke you to your charge well:
Ile see him lodged, for so the duke commanded me
He will be very rough.
Mast.
We are usd to that sir,
And we as rough as he, if he give occasion.
Iul.
You will find him gainfull, but be sure ye curb him,
And get him if ye can fairely to his lodging,
Enter Alphonso
I am afraid ye will not.
Mast.
We must sweat then.
Alp.
What dost thou talk to me of noyses? i'le have more noyse
I'le have all loose, and all shall play their prizes;
Thy Master has let loose the boy I lookt for
Basely convaid him hence.
Keep.
Will ye go out sir?
Alp.
I will not out: I will have all out with me,
Shake Irons
I'le have thy Master in; he's only madde here.
And rogues, ile have ye all whipt: heigh mad boyes, mad boyes.
Iul.
Do you perceive him now?
Mast.
Tis too apparant.
Iul.
I am glad she is gon: he raves thus.
Mast.
Do you hear sir,
Pray will ye make lesse stir, and see your chamber,
Call in more help; and make the closset ready.
Keep.
I thought he was mad: ile have one long lash at ye.
Alp.
My chamber? where my chamber? why my chamber
Wher's the young boy?
Mast.
Nay pray ye sir be more modest
For your own credit sake: the people see ye,
And I would use ye with the best.
Alp.
Best, hang ye
What dost thou think me madde?
Mast.
Pray, and be civill,
Heaven may deliver ye.
Alp.
Into a rogues hands.
Mast.
You do but draw more misery upon ye,
And adde to your disease.
Alp.
Get from me.
Mast.
No sir,
You must not be left so: bear your self civilly,
And twill be better for ye: swell not, nor chafe not.
Alp.
I am a Gentleman, and a neighbour, rascall.
Mast.
A great deale the more pity: I have heard of ye.
Iul.
Excellent Master.
Mast.
The Duke is very tender too.
Alp.
Am I lunatique? am I run madde?
What dost thou talk to me of Dukes, and Devils,
Why do the people gape so?
Mast.
Do not anger 'em,
But go in quietly, and slip in softly
They will so tew ye, els, I am commanded sir.
Alp.
Why, prethee why?
Mast.
Ye are dog-mad: you perceive it not
Very far madde: and whips will scant recover ye.
Alp.
Ha: whips?
Mast.
I whips, and sore whips, and ye were a Lord sir,
If ye be stubborne here:
Alp.
Whips? what am I grown.
Iul.
O I could burst: hold, hold, hold, hold o'both ends,
How he lookes, pray heaven, he be not madde indeed.
Alp.
I do not perceive I am so; but if you think it,
Nor I'le be hangd if't be so.
Mast.
Do you see this sir?
Irons brought in
Down with that devill in ye.
Alp.
Indeed I am angry,
But ile containe my selfe: O I could burst now,
And teare my selfe, but these rogues will torment me,
Madde in mine old dayes? make mine owne afflictions?
63
What doe you mutter sir?
Alph.
Nothing, sir, nothing;
I will goe in, and quietly, most civilly:
And good sir, let none of your tormentors come about me,
You have a gentle face; they look like Dragons.
Mast.
Be civill and be safe: come, for these two daies
Ye must eate nothing neither: twill ease your fits sir.
Alph.
Twill starve me sir; but I must beare it joyfully.
I may sleepe?
Mast.
Yes, a little: go in with these men.
Alph.
O miserable me!
Exit.
Mast.
Ile follow presently.
You see tis done sir.
Jul.
Ye have done it handsomely,
And ile inform the Duke so: Pray ye attend him,
Let him want nothing, but his will.
Mast.
He shall not,
And if he be rebellious—
Jul.
Never spare him:
H'as flesh, and hide enough, he loves a whipping.
Mast.
My service to his Grace.
Exit.
Jul.
I shall commend it.
So, thou art fast: I must goe get some fresh roome
To laugh, and caper in: O how it tickles me!
O how it tumbles me with joy! thy mouths stopt:
Now if I can doe my Mistris good, I am Sainted.
Exit.
| The Pilgrim | |