University of Virginia Library

A DIALOGUE BETWEEN HOM-VEG AND BALLURE'S RIVER

Hom-Veg
Hould on then, I tell ye! Do ye see yandhar wall,
You sniffikan' dirt, and the other as tall
Lek opposite lek, and sides like a sewer's,
A' puppus to stop such perseedin's as yours—
Masther D., that have built them, because he's intarmint
To bring you to raison, you bothersome varmint!
In a million of years you've stole a good fut
From the bank, yes you have. Aw, it's aisy to “chut”
And blackguard and give sauce. But I'll tell ye! look here!
It's just go'n a' stoppin'. What capers! Don' keer?
You inslin' monkey! I'll see about that!
You slippery vagabone! Rat-a-tat-tat!
You'll go your own way, will ye? navar say die!
You're a freeborn river—Aye man, aye!
I've got ye! I've got ye! Now, aisy, magellya !
Be dacen', be dacen', be dacen', I tell ye.
And I know there's a tongue at ye, tongue thallure
But none of your tongue or your cheek at Ballure!
Such ramblin' and amblin',
Such bustlin' and scramblin',
Such booin' and sthooin'
And hullabalooin'!
Such work, you young Turk,
Wiss a jump and a jerk
And a shy and a toss,
Like a runaway hoss,
And the jiggin' and joggin',
And all the lape-froggin'—
Ondacen' it is;
And the buzz and the bizz,
And the fuss and the fizz—
And altogathar, ye 'nointed young divil,
Be civil! will ye? Will ye be civil?
Will ye? won't ye? Str'ight then, str'ight!
Nither the leff nor nither the right—
And no nizin', no, nor a sigh nor a mutter,
Just humblin'-bumblin' 'twix your gutter.
D'ye hear? d'ye hear?

River
O dear! O dear!

Hom-Veg
What did they larn ye up in the mountain?
Nothin', I think, that's much accountin'.

River
No, no!
Only to go,
To flow,
To fling my spray in the sunny glow,
To splash,
To dash,
Heels over head with a crazy crash.

Hom-Veg
So that's your arly eddication
Lek accordin' to your station?
And just the smallest taste of a mill
'd ha been a dale more 'spectable.
But times is changed. So that'll do.

River
O wirrasthru! O wirrasthru!
O, that beast of an arch! O, that beast of a wall!

Hom-Veg
Aisy, for all!

River
O the ferns and the cushags!

Hom-Veg
Hushags! hushags!
Lek we're say'n' to the pigs.

River
O the barley-rigs!
O the bees and the bells
And the lovely smells!
O the winds a blowin'!

Hom-Veg
What's all this O-in'?

River
O heaven! O earth!
Thay gave me birth.

Hom-Veg
Goodness grayshurs! you're as good as a play.
And ar'n' ye lavin' them anyway?
No sense nor nothin'—the little sinner!
I wish he'd be off, for I'm wantin' my dinner.
Now what can you expec'?
The tip of the ear, or the scruff of the neck—

River
And must I no more
Speed down to the shore
With a frisk and a frolic?
You old man diabolic,
With a shout and a rout
And an in and an out,
And a sly little kiss for the toes
Of the woman that's washin' the clothes?

Hom-Veg
Did ye avar? I navar! the rip!
Kissin', is it? What lip!
I'm clane inshamed,
And the lek that shud'n' be named;
But young people now—but it's in the blood—

River
Good-bye then, good-bye then! old stick-in-the-mud!
O the strong! O the free!
O the space, and the strength of the sea!