The Poetical Entertainer Or, Tales, Satyrs, Dialogues, And Intrigues, &c. Serious and Comical. All digested into such Verse as most agreeable to the several Subjects. To be publish'd as often as occasion shall offer [by Edward Ward] |
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The Character of a certain rattling Whig.
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 | The Poetical Entertainer |  |
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The Character of a certain rattling Whig.
Of all the Fools the present Times produce,
A Whig disgusted is the most profuse;
Not of his Wealth, but lavish of his Tongue;
Hot in Debate, tho' always in the wrong;
Yet wheresoe'er the Saint vouchsafes to come,
He roars, if thwarted, like a beaten Drum;
Does all he says most solemnly aver
For truth, and will no contradiction bear,
But stiles, whoe'er opposes him, at least
A Jacobite, if not a Popish Priest;
Does e'ery Hour new factious Shams devise,
And rails at all that disbelieve his Lyes,
Tho' he himself's too stubborn and morose
To credit Truth that does his Int'rest cross,
And will no Faith embrace, or Doctrine chuse,
But what well suits his Purpose, like his News.
So Governments revive those Laws that best
Will serve their present turn and slight the rest.
A Whig disgusted is the most profuse;
Not of his Wealth, but lavish of his Tongue;
Hot in Debate, tho' always in the wrong;
Yet wheresoe'er the Saint vouchsafes to come,
He roars, if thwarted, like a beaten Drum;
Does all he says most solemnly aver
For truth, and will no contradiction bear,
But stiles, whoe'er opposes him, at least
A Jacobite, if not a Popish Priest;
Does e'ery Hour new factious Shams devise,
And rails at all that disbelieve his Lyes,
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To credit Truth that does his Int'rest cross,
And will no Faith embrace, or Doctrine chuse,
But what well suits his Purpose, like his News.
So Governments revive those Laws that best
Will serve their present turn and slight the rest.
Eugene, altho' he blunders, must be thought
The most Heroick Prince that ever fought;
And Villars, tho' he baffles him, be made
The meerest Pigmy Gallia ever bred.
Whate'er the Dutch propose shall be allow'd
To tend to Europe's universal good.
What Britain does, beneath the Royal Care,
So wisely manage, must be thought unfair.
War, to a glorious Peace, be still prefer'd,
That Poverty may flourish by the Sword.
And thus he raves and rattles up and down,
Madly blaspheming both the Church and Crown,
Bullies all those that he can over-reach,
But by his Tongue sometimes betrays his Breech
To undergo that Penance, justly due
To him that's Saucy to he knows not who.
Good News from foreign Parts, at which he's vex'd
He mangles as a Tubster does his Text;
And, o'er his Ninny-Broth, to shew his spight,
Will construe it all ways, except the right;
But when the naked Truth prevails and shines,
Thro' all the misty Falsities he coins,
Sowre as a Bull-dog at a Butcher's Heels,
He lobs and leers and with ill-nature swells,
And looks as if he ready was to bite
Each Man he meets for a Sachev'relite,
Who, in his Frowns may easily discover
What bloody News th'last Dutch Mail brought over
So the frow'rd Gamester damns the Dice, when broke,
And makes himself the Picture of Ill-luck,
That whosoe'er observes the Rake's Grimace,
May read his late Ill-fortune in his Face.
The most Heroick Prince that ever fought;
And Villars, tho' he baffles him, be made
The meerest Pigmy Gallia ever bred.
Whate'er the Dutch propose shall be allow'd
To tend to Europe's universal good.
What Britain does, beneath the Royal Care,
So wisely manage, must be thought unfair.
War, to a glorious Peace, be still prefer'd,
That Poverty may flourish by the Sword.
And thus he raves and rattles up and down,
Madly blaspheming both the Church and Crown,
Bullies all those that he can over-reach,
But by his Tongue sometimes betrays his Breech
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To him that's Saucy to he knows not who.
Good News from foreign Parts, at which he's vex'd
He mangles as a Tubster does his Text;
And, o'er his Ninny-Broth, to shew his spight,
Will construe it all ways, except the right;
But when the naked Truth prevails and shines,
Thro' all the misty Falsities he coins,
Sowre as a Bull-dog at a Butcher's Heels,
He lobs and leers and with ill-nature swells,
And looks as if he ready was to bite
Each Man he meets for a Sachev'relite,
Who, in his Frowns may easily discover
What bloody News th'last Dutch Mail brought over
So the frow'rd Gamester damns the Dice, when broke,
And makes himself the Picture of Ill-luck,
That whosoe'er observes the Rake's Grimace,
May read his late Ill-fortune in his Face.
In Tavern, factious Healths are his delight,
In which, at once, he shews his Love and Spight.
Against the Throne his Calumnies he spreads,
And rattles forth Eugene and Marlbrough's Deeds,
Lessens the Conduct which he ought to praise,
And impudently warrants all he says;
If contradicted, like a Hector huffs,
And heeds no Arguments but Kicks and Cuffs;
Abandons Duty, Modesty, and Sence,
And rattles with unbounded Insolence;
Gives us, instead of Reason, what the Great
And Rev'rend Fl---d terms, we know not what;
To Men of Manners makes himself appear
A more absurd Companion than a Bear;
Among the factious Clan has knacks to please,
But is to all the World besides a tease;
The Church he laughs at, and can scarce afford
The least due rev'rence to the sacred Word;
Tries all Religion by the touchstone Rules
Of Daniel's Revolution Principles;
Rejecting that as naught which don't agree
With pulling down the Pow'r of Monarchy;
And ridicules all Doctrine, 'less its brought
From Holland, and in Moorfield's Allies taught;
Yet claims the Name of Protestant, in hope
To save himself by damning of the Pope;
For all his Practises too plainly shew,
He's less a Christian than a Turk or Jew;
Honours the empty Name, but thinks the rest
A Cheat, a humane Artifice, a Jest,
Long since invented, and by Laws enjoin'd
By crafty Tyrants to enslave Mankind;
Yet of Religion talks, as many do
Of Robin Hood, whose Bow they never drew;
But 'tis not in his Nature to afford
The Rev'rend Clergy one respectful Word,
Except those few who for the Faction preach,
And scandalize the Truths they ought to teach.
Thus bad, and worse, is he whose Tongue of late,
At Will's, did such provoking Nonsense prate,
Condemn'd the Ministry, extol'd the Dutch,
Stain'd his own Country with unjust reproach,
Till, for his Pains, he was compell'd to take
A High-Church footing for the Low-Church sake.
In which, at once, he shews his Love and Spight.
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And rattles forth Eugene and Marlbrough's Deeds,
Lessens the Conduct which he ought to praise,
And impudently warrants all he says;
If contradicted, like a Hector huffs,
And heeds no Arguments but Kicks and Cuffs;
Abandons Duty, Modesty, and Sence,
And rattles with unbounded Insolence;
Gives us, instead of Reason, what the Great
And Rev'rend Fl---d terms, we know not what;
To Men of Manners makes himself appear
A more absurd Companion than a Bear;
Among the factious Clan has knacks to please,
But is to all the World besides a tease;
The Church he laughs at, and can scarce afford
The least due rev'rence to the sacred Word;
Tries all Religion by the touchstone Rules
Of Daniel's Revolution Principles;
Rejecting that as naught which don't agree
With pulling down the Pow'r of Monarchy;
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From Holland, and in Moorfield's Allies taught;
Yet claims the Name of Protestant, in hope
To save himself by damning of the Pope;
For all his Practises too plainly shew,
He's less a Christian than a Turk or Jew;
Honours the empty Name, but thinks the rest
A Cheat, a humane Artifice, a Jest,
Long since invented, and by Laws enjoin'd
By crafty Tyrants to enslave Mankind;
Yet of Religion talks, as many do
Of Robin Hood, whose Bow they never drew;
But 'tis not in his Nature to afford
The Rev'rend Clergy one respectful Word,
Except those few who for the Faction preach,
And scandalize the Truths they ought to teach.
Thus bad, and worse, is he whose Tongue of late,
At Will's, did such provoking Nonsense prate,
Condemn'd the Ministry, extol'd the Dutch,
Stain'd his own Country with unjust reproach,
Till, for his Pains, he was compell'd to take
A High-Church footing for the Low-Church sake.
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