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University of Virginia Library

The Muses Melody in a Consort Of Poetry

With Diverse occasionall and Compendious Epistles. Composed by the Author Tho. Jordan

Jordan, Thomas (1612?-1685?)

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On a Citizen that was so unreasonably jealous of his wife, that he durst not trust her with the neerest in blood of her own kindred.

Peccavi, to a vertuous Lady, who was vitiously solicited by a Gentleman whilst she was in her mourning.

On handsome women that will marry fools.

An Apology to a coy Lady for a passionate Letter which a Gent. writ to her when she returned back to him a Diamond which he before had presented.

On a cruel Creditor.

Defence composed for his friend Mr. Th. Ea. who ignorantly had perswaded some Gentlemen his friends to wash their faces with Mercury, one of them being an elect Bridegroom, the night immediately before the Nuptials, who the next day were much blistered with the venome, and he much accused by the Ladyes, as if it had been done on purpose.

An Ode composed for three voices, at a celebration of the Birth-day of the much honoured G. D. Gent. on Novemb. 29.

A Vote to the much honored Thomas Bridges, Merchant in Alderman-bury London, and to his most vertuous wife.

An Epitaph on a scold.

On Jack Summer, who with two shillings, won twenty pounds of Captaine Swallow.

An Epitaph on Mr. Will. Lawes Batchelor in Musick, who was mortally shot at the siege of Westchester.

A Defence for Musick in its Practique and Theorick, Dedicated to all Lovers of Harmony, but more especially to the much honored

A Banquet of Discord, dish'd up and dedicated to all lovers of Confusion, and contemners of Concord.

An Epigram on a Mad-man.

A meer Souldiers Resolution, written by his own direction in the yeer 1642.

An Elegie and Epitaph, in two Acrosticks, composed on the pious memory of Mistress Grace Drayton, late wife to William Drayton Gentleman, unto whom she was marryed the 20 of January 1652, and deceased the 20 of June 1653.

To his disdainful Mistress, from whom he receiv'd a Repulse at the presentment of his service to lead her by the Arm in the street.

On Mrs. Howlet, and Mrs. Boone.

To a Black-moor that had married a deformed Spanish woman, and was jealous of an English Gentleman.

An Epitaph on a Prisoner for Debt, who dyed of Feaver in the Counter.

A Bull made Sense.

On Cavaliers wearing of much Ribbon.

A Congratulatory to the bountiful Lover of the Liberal Sciences, Sir Thomas Prestwich Baronet.

To Coll. Washington, on his word Away with't, &c Composed in 1643.

On a Lay-Preacher.

To the great lover and protector of Honor and Sciences Sir Henry Newton Knight, &c.

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A Banquet of Discord, dish'd up and dedicated to all lovers of Confusion, and contemners of Concord.

I

Come hither you to whom the breath
Of Musique is a second Death:
Whose untun'd ears are neither fit
For Concord, Poesie, nor wit.
That chatter in unpointed Prose,
And use no Organ but the Nose:
Who Fantsie nothing but the rents
Of Families and Governments;
Whose spirits are as rude as Rocks,
And Blasphemies are Orthodox.
My Fantsie hath a mess of Minstrels which
Shall please you all, and make your long ears itch,

2

The first soft Musique I can finge,
Are herds of Hogs perplex'd with winde,
And taught by Dogs of Farmers house
The tearing Sol-fa of the Souse.
And next, to please your approbation,
A Quire of Cats in Copulation.

Where you will hear exceeding skill,
If treble Puss but hit the trill.
But to provoke your active heeles,
Fifty new Carts with ungreas'd Wheeles.
Then, when Hogs, Cats, and Wheeles in Chorus sound,
Who will not say you are with Discord crown'd?

3

The next (in stead of Drums, and Tabors)
Twelve Strumpets in abortive Labors
To mixe with these, a shrill Grand Jury
Of Fish-wives fill'd with Ale and fury,
Whose every close doth sweetly roare
With Witch, and Bitch, and Bawd, and Whore;
Ten Pewterers, with Platters empty,
Tinkers and Kettles four and twenty,
Thirty Lock-smiths, forty fellows:
Blowing of as many Bellows;
And whilst all these in Parts together chime,
I will have sixteen rag-mills to beat time.

4

Then for the melody of Fowles,
Thirteen Peacocks, nineteen Owles,
Fifteen Ravens, eighteen Dawes,
Naked Rooks with empty Crawes:
And instead of Lutes and Citterns
Chatt'ring Magpies, Crows, and Bitterns:
With a set of Trencher-scrapers
That will make your teeth cut Capers:
And (to fill ye with amazements)
Northern windes, and open Casements.

If these will not content, (to help the Quire)
The Bells shall ring as when a Town's on fire.

5

Dying men when they are Rack'd,
Womens cryes when Towns are sack'd,
Irish mourners when they howle
Over some departed soul:
Wracks at Sea where few are savers,
Whirlwinds cut in Semi-quavers:
For I know (without misprision)
You are Lovers of Division:
This is Musique fit for them
Who do Harmony contemn.
When this grows stale, and that you wish for new,
The other world may better furnish you.