 | To Rash Iudgement, Tom Foole, and his fellowes |  |
A Merry Fooles Bolts.
The Duke of Brunswicke had a naturall,
Whom all the Court did, sotten Ioris call,
That of simplicity when he meant best:
Performed many a merry harmlesse Iest,
His mayster had a Parrot he loud much,
That spake Italian, Spanish, French, and Dutch:
The praise of which Bird, oft he would report,
When forrainge Princes came vnto his Court;
Espetially when he was set at meate,
Which made the Foole thinke, Poll was good to eate:
And to resolue himselfe, he thought it best,
To kill the Parrot, and to haue it drest:
At's hostes house, a little from the towne,
But Parrot was so tough, it would not downe:
Ioris in Choller to the Court did hie,
And tould the Duke it was a shame to lye,
And prayse a filthy carrion Parrot so,
Which was a thousand times worse meate then Croe,
Rogue (quoth the Duke) Ile head thee for this deede:
Do not (quoth Ioris) then my necke will bleed.
Whom all the Court did, sotten Ioris call,
That of simplicity when he meant best:
Performed many a merry harmlesse Iest,
His mayster had a Parrot he loud much,
That spake Italian, Spanish, French, and Dutch:
The praise of which Bird, oft he would report,
When forrainge Princes came vnto his Court;
Espetially when he was set at meate,
Which made the Foole thinke, Poll was good to eate:
And to resolue himselfe, he thought it best,
To kill the Parrot, and to haue it drest:
At's hostes house, a little from the towne,
But Parrot was so tough, it would not downe:
Ioris in Choller to the Court did hie,
And tould the Duke it was a shame to lye,
And prayse a filthy carrion Parrot so,
Which was a thousand times worse meate then Croe,
Rogue (quoth the Duke) Ile head thee for this deede:
Do not (quoth Ioris) then my necke will bleed.
The foresayd Duke (A corpulent fat man,)
In sommers heate, was cooled with a Fan:
In th'after noones (when vsually he slept)
One of his Chamber still a fanning kept:
Which fellow ouer taken with a stoole:
Beckned in hast to Ioris the Dukes foole,
And softly said, pree-thee shake thou this feather,
Till I come backe, and soone weele drink togeather:
VVell, well, sayes Ioris, and to worke he goes,
At last a Fly lights on his Maisters nose:
VVherat he chafes, and sayes, you had best be gone,
But still the Flye playd with him off, and on:
VVhen he perceiu'd the Flie would giue no place,
He turn'd the Fan and strooke in's Maisters face,
The blood ran downe, the Duke starts vp and sweares,
And all to beate the Foole about his eares.
O Villaine (quoth he) hanging shall be thy dew:
Mayster (sayes Ioris) twa's my loue to you,
A sawcy Flye vpon your nose did stand,
And she would take no warning at my hand,
In sommers heate, was cooled with a Fan:
In th'after noones (when vsually he slept)
One of his Chamber still a fanning kept:
Which fellow ouer taken with a stoole:
Beckned in hast to Ioris the Dukes foole,
And softly said, pree-thee shake thou this feather,
Till I come backe, and soone weele drink togeather:
VVell, well, sayes Ioris, and to worke he goes,
At last a Fly lights on his Maisters nose:
VVherat he chafes, and sayes, you had best be gone,
But still the Flye playd with him off, and on:
VVhen he perceiu'd the Flie would giue no place,
He turn'd the Fan and strooke in's Maisters face,
The blood ran downe, the Duke starts vp and sweares,
And all to beate the Foole about his eares.
O Villaine (quoth he) hanging shall be thy dew:
Mayster (sayes Ioris) twa's my loue to you,
A sawcy Flye vpon your nose did stand,
And she would take no warning at my hand,
Another time, the Duke for Recreation,
Would ride and view the country life and fashion:
Two Noble men with him in Coach there went,
And the foole Ioris for their merryment:
Riding (along, as they to myrth apply)
The Foole brake out, and let a cracker flye,
Which so perfum'd the Coach they turnd him out,
And made him trott a foote ten mile about:
Next day, they all tooke Horse, and Ioris rides,
Complaining woefull of his legges and sides:
For he had plunged through thicke and thin,
And a most tired case the Foole was in:
But comming neare his Iournies end at night,
His Horse brake winde, wherat he straight did light,
And presently the Saddle did vndoe.
Now rogue (quoth he) Ile teach you manners too,
As yesterday my Maister dealt with mee,
Thou beastly slaue, so will I deale with thee:
Thou shalt ene walke on foote as I haue done:
So tooke the Saddle, let the Gelding runne.
Would ride and view the country life and fashion:
Two Noble men with him in Coach there went,
And the foole Ioris for their merryment:
Riding (along, as they to myrth apply)
The Foole brake out, and let a cracker flye,
Which so perfum'd the Coach they turnd him out,
And made him trott a foote ten mile about:
Next day, they all tooke Horse, and Ioris rides,
Complaining woefull of his legges and sides:
For he had plunged through thicke and thin,
And a most tired case the Foole was in:
But comming neare his Iournies end at night,
His Horse brake winde, wherat he straight did light,
And presently the Saddle did vndoe.
Now rogue (quoth he) Ile teach you manners too,
As yesterday my Maister dealt with mee,
Thou beastly slaue, so will I deale with thee:
Thou shalt ene walke on foote as I haue done:
So tooke the Saddle, let the Gelding runne.
Ovr merry Foole, with one Iest more, weele leaue,
Which is, how he a Cut-purse did deceaue;
Being at a Faire, where Preasse was very great,
And Ioris in his best Fools-clothing neate:
Thrusting amongst them in a veluet Coate,
Downe to the Anckles: there did Cutpurse note,
Great siluer Buttons on his hanging sleeues,
And he would venter hanging, like all theeues,
But he would haue them, how so ere he speede:
So follow'd Ioris close, and did the deed,
And then away he Prest and thurst along:
The Foole by chaunce spying who did him wronge,
Layes hold of him, (who like a Cutpursse sweares)
And with his knife, soone Cut off one off's eares,
And held it in his hand, laughing amaine,
Sa'ing, giue my Buttons, take your eare againe:
Goe, let the Surgion stitch it on, my friend,
Ile to a Taylour, that my sleeue shall mend.
But Cutpursse, Cutpursse, beare this to your graue,
A Foole somtime may ouer-reach a knaue.
Which is, how he a Cut-purse did deceaue;
Being at a Faire, where Preasse was very great,
And Ioris in his best Fools-clothing neate:
Thrusting amongst them in a veluet Coate,
Downe to the Anckles: there did Cutpurse note,
Great siluer Buttons on his hanging sleeues,
And he would venter hanging, like all theeues,
But he would haue them, how so ere he speede:
So follow'd Ioris close, and did the deed,
And then away he Prest and thurst along:
The Foole by chaunce spying who did him wronge,
Layes hold of him, (who like a Cutpursse sweares)
And with his knife, soone Cut off one off's eares,
And held it in his hand, laughing amaine,
Sa'ing, giue my Buttons, take your eare againe:
Goe, let the Surgion stitch it on, my friend,
Ile to a Taylour, that my sleeue shall mend.
But Cutpursse, Cutpursse, beare this to your graue,
A Foole somtime may ouer-reach a knaue.
| To Rash Iudgement, Tom Foole, and his fellowes | |