University of Virginia Library

Big Switch

There were reports circulating
that a first-year man had been
questioned by agents of the
Federal Power Commission in
connection with a mass raid on
electric light users in Virginia
Beach. The student, yet to be
identified, reportedly sold two
"kilos" (short for kilowatts) to
a high school kid.

Asked if he felt that electric
light could be detrimental to
one's physical and mental processes,
Mr. Runk said, "The evidence
doesn't prove that it isn't."

When asked how he would
compare the effects of using
candles and reading by electric
light, he stated, "I think there
can be abuses of anything, even
food."

As the sun was slowly setting
on Pavilion VIII, Dean Runk
concluded the interview with the
advice that all University students
should be in bed by 8 p.m.
anyway and have no need to fool
around with illegal illumination.
"If candles were good enough
for Mr. Jefferson, they're good
enough for me!"

Light Bulbs Fill Garbage Behind Pavilion VIII

Confiscated Illuminators Spark Dark Age Policies