University of Virginia Library

Excess And Abuse

After reading Dean Runk's lucid
and extraordinarily apt statements
on excesses and abuses ("I think
there can be abuses in anything,
even in food"), we have decided
to incorporate to the fullest extent
possible a portion of this sage advice
into our own day-to-day existence.
Specifically, we have found
that our excessive interest in the
consumption of food and foodstuffs
(up to three full meals a
day) are an indication that we "are
not constructively interested in academic
work in this University Community."

So, in keeping with Dean Runk's
opinions on abstinence, we have
sworn to confine ourselves to the
consumption of a light but
spiritually rewarding meal of two
ounces of wheat germ per day,
washed down with an occasional
aperitif of prune juice, when appropriate.

May we respectfully suggest that
from a religious dedication to this
simple program the student will
not only reap the benefits of
marked academic improvement,
but also find the inner peace which
will more than compensate for the
bloated stupor of his former
gluttony.