University of Virginia Library

THAT EBREW JEW

There once was a tradesman renowned as a screw
Who sold pins and needles and calicoes too,
Till he built up a fortune—the which as it grew
Just ruined small traders the whole city through—
Yet one thing he knew,
Between me and you,
There was a distinction
'Twixt Christian and Jew.
Till he died in his mansion—a great millionaire—
The owner of thousands; but nothing to spare
For the needy and poor who from hunger might drop,
And only a pittance to clerks in his shop.

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But left it all to
A Lawyer, who knew
A subtile distinction
'Twixt Ebrew and Jew.
This man was no trader, but simply a friend
Of this Gent who kept shop and who, nearing his end,
Handed over a million—'t was only his due,
Who discovered this contrast 'twixt Ebrew and Jew.
For he said, “If you view
This case as I do,
There is a distinction
'Twixt Ebrew and Jew.
“For the Jew is a man who will make money through
His skill, his finesse, and his capital too,
And an Ebrew 's a man that we Gentiles can ‘do,’
So you see there 's a contrast 'twixt Ebrew and Jew.
Ebrew and Jew,
Jew and Ebrew,
There 's a subtile distinction
'Twixt Ebrew and Jew.”
So he kept up his business of needles and pins,
But always one day he atoned for his sins,
But never the same day (for that would n't do),
That the Jew faced his God with the awful Ebrew.
For this man he knew,
Between me and you,
There was a distinction
'Twixt Ebrew and Jew.
So he sold soda-water and shut up the fount
Of a druggist whose creed was the Speech on the Mount;
And he trafficked in gaiters and ruined the trade
Of a German whose creed was by great Luther made.

394

But always he knew,
Between me and you,
A subtile distinction
'Twixt Ebrew and Jew.
Then he kept a hotel—here his trouble began—
In a fashion unknown to his primitive plan;
For the rule of this house to his manager ran,
“Don't give entertainment to Israelite man.”
Yet the manager knew,
Between me and you,
No other distinction
'Twixt Ebrew and Jew.
“You may give to John Morissey supper and wine,
And Madame N. N. to your care I'll resign;
You'll see that those Jenkins from Missouri Flat
Are properly cared for; but recollect that
Never a Jew
Who 's not an Ebrew
Shall take up his lodgings
Here at the Grand U.
“You'll allow Miss McFlimsey her diamonds to wear;
You'll permit the Van Dams at the waiters to swear;
You'll allow Miss Décolleté to flirt on the stair;
But as to an Israelite—pray have a care;
For, between me and you,
Though the doctrine is new,
There 's a business distinction
'Twixt Ebrew and Jew.”
Now, how shall we know? Prophet, tell us, pray do,
Where the line of the Hebrew fades into the Jew?
Shall we keep out Disraeli and take Rothschild in?
Or snub Meyerbeer and think Verdi a sin?

395

What shall we do?
O, give us a few
Points to distinguish
'Twixt Ebrew and Jew.
There was One—Heaven help us!—who died in man's place,
With thorns on his forehead, but Love in his face:
And when “foxes had holes” and birds in the air
Had their nests in the trees, there was no spot to spare
For this “King of the Jews.”
Did the Romans refuse
This right to the Ebrews
Or only to Jews?