Works of John Taylor the Water Poet not included in the folio volume of 1630 | ||
3. THIRD COLLECTION
A BAWD. A vertuous Bawd, a modest Bawd: As Shee Deserves, reproove, or else applaud.
Yet is my Theame polluted and obsceane:
Ile touch foule pitch, yet will not be defild,
My Muse shall wade through dirt, & not be soild.
The Sun on noysome dunghills shines as well,
As on faire flowers that doe fragrant smell:
The Ayre by which we live, doth every where
Breathe still alike upon the poore and Peere.
The Sea bears many an old despised Boat,
Yet on the Sea the best Ships doe but float,
And Earth allowes to all her scattred brood,
Food, Clothes and Lodging to the bad and good.
Yet Sun, Ayre, Sea, nor Earth receive disgrace
By any bountie which they give the base.
Even so my Muse, (free from all foule intents)
Doth take example from the Elements,
In laying better studies by a while,
And in cleane fashion write a beastly stile:
Yet will I not my sense or meaning marre;
With tearmes obscure, or phrases sercht from farre
Nor will I any way equivocate,
With words sophisticall, or intricate,
Vtopian-Fustianisme, poore heathen Greeke,
To put my Readers wits to groape and seeke.
My Schollership will name things as they be.
I thinke it good, plaine English, without fraud,
To call a spade a spade, a Bawd a Bawd.
Two little Pamphlets I have wrote before,
Which I was bold to call a Thiefe, and Whore,
Yet was my Whore so chaste, that she had not,
From end to end, one foule offensive spot;
Nor did my Thiefe from any man purloyne,
Or liv'd by filching either goods or coyne.
And now by chance it came into my mind,
That with the Bawd my Pen was much behind:
My Whore was honest, and my Thiefe was true,
And in this sort Ile give the Bawd her due.
Strange fruit from my poore barren labour springs,
I modestly must use immodest things:
'Tis somewhat hard, but yet it is no riddle,
All Bawdry doth not breed below the middle.
So many severall sorts of Bawds doe grow,
That where there's not a Bawd, 'tis hard to know.
The first with spirituall Bawds, whose honor high
Springs from the whoredome of Idolatry,
Cast but your eyes upon the Man of Rome,
That stiles himselfe the Head of Christendome,
Christs universall Vicar, and Vicegerent,
In whom fooles thinke the Truth is so inherent,
That he can soules to Heaven or Hell preferre,
And being full of Errours, cannot erre:
Hee will be call'd Lieutenant unto Christ.
How hath that false Conventicle of Trent,
Made lawes wch God, or good men never meant,
Commanding worshipping of stones and stocks,
Of Relikes, dead mens bones, and senslesse blocks,
From which adultrate painted Adoration,
Men (worse then stocks or blocks) must seek salvation?
The Soules of men are His that dearly bought thē,
And he the only way to Heav'n hath taught them.
And who so forceth them to false adoring,
Is the maine Bawd unto this Spirituall Whoring.
Besides, it is apparent, and most cleare,
That he's the greatest Bawd the Earth doth beare:
For hee that tolerates the Stewes erection,
Allowes them Priviledges and Protection,
Shares in the profit of their sordid sweat,
Reapes yearely Pensions and Revenues great,
Permits the Pole-shorne fry of Friers and Monks,
For Annuall stipends to enjoy their Puncks.
When Paul the third the Romish Miter wore,
He had contributary Trulls such store,
To five and fortie thousand they amount,
As then Romes Register gave true account.
Besides, it was approv'd, the gaine was cleere
Full twentie thousand Duckats every yeere.
He had Ten Thousand Priests that paid
(Some more, some lesse (by way of Rent or fines,
Each one of them for keeping Concubines.
And he that keepes none, payes as much as he
As for his vse doth keepe one, two or three.
Al's one, the Priests must pay t'augmēt the treasure
Keepe or not keep, Whore or not Whore at pleasure.
Now judge, good Reader, have I said amisse,
Was ever any Bawdry like to this?
Pope Alexander of that name the sixt,
With his owne childe incestuously commixt.
And Paul the third (affecting the said Game)
With his owne daughter did commit the same:
And after with his sister tooke such course,
That he with her did doe as bad or worse.
Iohn the thirteenth, and other more, 'tis plaine
Have with their sisters and their daughters laine.
And when their stomacks have been gone & past,
To Princes they have married them at last.
Our Turnbul street poore Bawds to these are base.
But these brave doings better to disclose,
A little while Ile turne my Verse to Prose.
That for poore scraps, and a bare ten pounds fee,
Dares not his mighty Patron to offend,
Or any way his vices reprehend,
Nor preach 'gainst pride, oppression, usury,
Dice, drinke, or drabbes, vaine oathes or simony,
That may his Worship in the Withers wring:
But every way must fit his Text and time,
To leave untoucht th'Impropriators crime?
Thus those whose functions Heaven doth signifie,
(Who should like trumpets lift their voices high)
Are mute and muzled, for a hireling price,
And so are Bawds unto their Patrons vice;
For hee's a Bawd who doth his living winne,
By hiding, or by flattring peoples sinne;
The Prince of darknesse, King of Acheron,
Great Emperour of Styx and Phlegeton,
Cocytus Monarch, high and mighty Dis,
Who of Great Limbo-lake Commander is,
Of Tartary, of Erebus, and all
Those Kindomes which men Barathrum doe call,
Hee is the chiefest Bawd, and still he plods
To send us whoring after godlesse gods:
And by his sway, and powerfull instigation,
Hath made the world starke drunke with fornication.
For since the first Creation, never was
The least degree of Bawdry brought to passe,
But he began it, and contriv'd it still,
He layd the plot, and did the Act fulfill.
So that of all the Bawds that ever were,
The Devill himselfe the Bell away doth beare:
Yet all his whoring base Idolatrie,
Did seeme Religious zealous sanctitie.
I'le end my Booke as Ovid ended his.
firmament shall whirle,
So long as Procreation shall
beget a Boy or Girle,
So long as winter shall be cold,
or Summer shall be hot,
So long as poverty and spight
shall be true Vertues lot,
When Phœbus in the West shall rise,
and in the East shall set,
When children on (their mothers)
their owne fathers shall beget;
Then shall this Booke, or Bawd lye dead,
and never till that day,
Shall Booke or Bawd, or Bawd or Booke,
be scarse, if men will pay.
Till Sun and Moone shall cease to shine,
and all the World lye wast;
So long this booke, or else a Bawd,
I'me sure, so long shall last.
Lucrece was first married to her own brother the sonne of Pope Alexander the sixt, she being daughter to the said Pope, and daughter in law to him by the marriage with his son. And being concubine to the said Pope, he caused her after his sonne her husbands death, to be married to three princes one after another: First to Duke Iohn Sforza. Secondly, to Lewis sonne to Alphonsus King of Arragon. Thirdly, to Alphonsus D'Est Duke of Ferara.
Her name was Constancia, she was married to a Duke named Sforza, but the Pope her father poysoned her because he could not lawfully enioy her. Also for the like he poysoned his sister.
A flattering hireling Preacher, is a Bawd to the vices of his surly Patron, and an hypocriticall conniver at the crying sinnes of his Audience.
TAYLORS TRAVELS AND CIRCVLAR PERAMBVLATION, through, and by more then thirty times twelve Signes of the Zodiack, of the Famous Cities of London and Westminster.
A
Epigram. [Angell]
Cœlestiall sure these Angels are not yet,Nor fiends infernall from the hellish Pit:
Though Sinners made them, they are clean from Sin;
Yet are they hang'd, to shew good Wine's within.
Epigram. [Anker]
Some men have found these Ankers very able,To More them safe and fast without a Cable:
A man may Load himselfe, and Sleepe, and Ride,
Free from Storms, Tempests, Pirats, Wind and Tide.
Epigram. [Adam and Eve]
Our Parents first (as I thinke) ne're dranke Wine,And yet for Wine their Figures are a Signe:
As they forbiden were the Fruit to taste,
So wee forbidden are, good Wine to waste.
Epigram. [Antelop]
The Antelop's a rare Beast, seldom seene,Nor hath it often in our Kingdome beene:
A forraine Beast, a Signe, shewes forraine Wine,
For you, or mee, or any Friends of mine.
Epigram. [Andrewes]
Saint Andrewes Argent Crosse in th'Azure fieldIs ancient, and a noble Christian shield:
Ther's French and Spanish, to cheere heart and brain,
From the most Christian Cath'like, France and Spain.
Epigram. [Antwerp]
Antwerp, is English'd, Throw thy hand Away,Rather then God, or King, to disobey:
At Antwerp Taverne meet shake hands, be merry,
Ther's Clarret, White, Canary, and good Sherry.
Epigram. [Archer]
This Signe doth shew the worthiest exerciseIs Shooting, and it shewes unto our eyes,
When Archers in the field have woon the Vpshot,
They may come to this Archer and be Cupshot.
B.
Epigram. [Bell]
These Bels are never told, with Rope in Steeple,Yet there's od Iangling, 'mongst od kind of people,
And these 9. Bels at once are dayly Rung
With 2. strange Clappers, Pewter and the Tongue.
Bull head without Bishopsgate.
Epigram. [Bull head]
These Bull Heads nere had Bodyes I am sure,'Tis strange Heads without Bodies should endure:
Yet tis not strange; for though the Signe be dead,
The Cellers foot below, holds up the Head.
Epigram. [Bull]
These Bulls were never Calues, nor came of Kine,Yet at all seasons they doe yeeld good Wine,
But those that suck these Buls more then they ought,
Are Walthams Calues, much better fed than taught.
Epigram. [Beare]
No Ravenous, Savadge, Cruell Beares are these,But Gentle, Milde, Delighting still to please:
And yet they have a Tricke to Bite all such
As Madly use their Company too much.
Epigram. [Bore]
He that will lay a wager sure shall win,These Bores Heads shewes that Hogsheads are within
He that doth doubt let him the Celler try,
And tis much marvell if he come up dry,
C.
Epigram. [Crowne]
Within this Crowne hath many Crwnes been spent,Good Wine, Attendance good, and good Content:
Theres Liquor of the best, from France and Spaine,
Which makes this Crowne full weight above a Graine.
Epigram. [Castle]
Tis oftentimes no Hazzard or Adventure,These Peacefull Castles quietly to Enter:
They are not built for Defence, or Offence,
Yet all the Manhood is, in Going thence.
Epigram. [Crosse]
When men are overprest with Cares and Losses,They may find speedy Comfort in these Crosses:
But such as beare no Crosses thither, then
Small Reason, tis, they should be welcome men.
Epigram. [Crosse Keyes]
These Keyes were never made to open Locks,Yet they may be the meanes to ope the Stocks:
For he that drinkes, sweares, rores, fights, spewes and reeles
Hang such a Rascall, lay him by the heeles.
Epigram. [Cat]
Who scratcheth worst the Broker, or the Cat,Good honest Reader, prethee tell me that:
For nothing every day the Catt is whip'd.
Epigram. [Cardinals Hatt]
The Cardinals hurt least, being farre away,And sure their Hatts will doe lesse hurt then they:
We are much better pleasd, with the bare Signe,
Then with the Hat, or Card'nall; There's good Wine.
Epigram. [Chequer]
The Chequer squars, doth many squares containe,And good square dealing there doth still remaine;
Provided that you to the Chequer bring
Th'Exchequer Coine, the stamp of Queene or King.
Epigram. [Christopher at Clerkenwell]
I Read that Christopher once usde the Trade,A mighty dangerous River o're to wade:
To set him up for Wine in Turnebull street.
Epigram. [Coopers hoope]
Good Wine doth need no Bush, the Proverb sayes,And I have knowne that house three thousand dayes
Without a Signe or Bush; onely a Hoope
Shewes theres good Wine will make a strong man stoope.
Epigram. [Cranes]
The Cranes heau'd Wine (from Water) to the Cart,The Cart to these Cranes, these Cranes to the Quart,
And other Measures, Thus is Wine divided,
And the divisions good, if not Misguided.
D.
Epigram. [Dragon]
These Dragons onely bite and sting all suchAs doe immod'ratly haunt them too much:
But those that use them well, from them shall finde
Ioy to the Heart, and comfort to the Minde.
Epigram. [Dog]
These Dogs are very Tame, and free from Spight,And yet sometimes they dare their Masters bite:
Exceeding Gentle, being not abusde,
They bite when they are over-roughly vsde.
Epigram. [Dolphin]
By Nature (as some famous Writers tell)The Dolphin doth love Man and Musicke well:
And at these Dolphins men may at their pleasure,
Have Wine and Musicke, both in Time and Measure.
Epigram. [Dunston]
The Divell with Rorers in the house may Rore,The whilst good Dunston guards & keeps the doore;
But sure Apollo did with Bacchus Ioyne,
That there's kind Entertainment and good Wine.
E.
Epigram. [Eagle]
The Eagles eye upon the Sunne dares stare,If other Birdes doe so, they blinded are:
And men unto those Eagles Nests may come
Cleare sighted, yet want sight ere they get home.
F.
Epigram. [Fountaine]
These Fountaines are not Proud, like many a knave,That brags of goodnesse, yet no Goodnes have:
The Fountaines promise Water, yet affoord
Good Wine, and so are better then their Word.
Epigram. [Fleece]
In peace a Man may peecemeale venture Pieces,Spend Time and Coine, yet neuer win those Fleeces:
But those that doe attempt with Moderation,
Shall find the Hazzard but a Recreation.
Epigram. [Faulcon]
These Faulcons to the Lure did never stoope,Nor do they Mue, Mute, cast their Gorge, or Droope:
Nor ever Mounted to the Sky (past Ken)
Yet all their Game is still to pleasure Men.
Epigram. [Fortune]
These Fortunes, are themselues nor good, or Ill,Nor (like Dame Fortune) are they Changing still:
Yet do they make some Glad, some Sad, some Mad,
And are as they are used, Good or Bad.
Epigram. [Flower De Lices]
French Flowers doth shew thers good French Wine to sellWhich he that tries will find, and like it well:
But if perchance your Pallat doe disgust it,
Thers high and mighty Sacke, if you dare trust it.
Epigram. [Field-Gate]
All is not Gold that glisters here I say:This Gold Gate hath no Latch, Bolt, Locke or Kay:
Tis open, honest Guests to entertaine.
G.
Epigram. [Globe]
As the Celestiall Globe is various Mix'dWith Starrs, some more, some Retrograde, some fix'd
So in these lesser Globes, men are still Changing,
Drunke, Sober, Mad, Sad, Merry, Reeling, Ranging.
Epigram. [George]
George is on Horsebacke Riding Day and Night,And with the Dragon in perpetuall fight,
Which shewes that we should watch 'gainst fleshly evill,
To ride the World, and Combate with the Devill.
Epigram. [Greyhound]
These Greyhounds nere hunt Buck, nor course a HareInstead of hunting, they still hunted are:
And those that hunt them many times are bit,
Lam'd in the Leggs, and Creepl'd in their Wit.
Epigram. [Goate]
When sicknesse doth man of his health deprive,Goates Milke is wholesome and preservative:
And sure this Goate such Liquor doth containe,
As can both Glad and Mad, Mans heart and braine.
Epigram. [Gerter]
The Honorable Garter first did SpringFrom Famous Edward, Englands Warlike King:
He beat the French, and to requite his paine,
French Wine hath ever since beat vs againe.
Epigram. [Grashopper]
This Grashopper is not a skipping Vermin,Whose Glory with the Summer doth extermine:
Nor Heate or Cold can change his hue or shape,
Twill live upon the Liquor of the Grape.
H.
Epigram. [Hart]
Although these Harts doe never runne away,They'le tire a Man to hunt them every day:
The Game and Chase is good for Recreation,
But dangerous to make't an occupation
Epigram. [Horse]
Quite contrary to other Horses, theseFeed not on Grass, Hay, Oates, Bread, Beanes, or Pease:
The cost is small, their Provender to buy,
For all the Charges in the Drinke doth lye.
Epigram. [Harrow]
'Tis not a common use (as most men know)That men should goe to Harrow e're they sow:
Yet here it is in fashion every day
To Harrow first, and Sow when they doe pay.
Epigram. [Horshoe]
Hee were a cunning man that could declare,Whether this Shoe would best fit Horse or Mare:
Those that will know, they may goe study there,
And catch a Fox, and so be ne're the neere.
Epigram. [Hoope]
Here are not taught, Tricks, Sleights, or active Feats,No Legerd'maine, or Iuggling sharking Cheats:
Drink moderate when thy Pensive mind doth droop,
Or quickly learne to Tumble in the Hoope.
Epigram. [Horne]
Hee that will whet his wit when it is dull,Drinke, for these Cornucopeia's still are full:
But if you whet away the Steele, take heed,
It will the Megrim and the Staggers breed.
I.
Epigram. [Iohn]
Knights of Saint Iohn, Knights, Templers, Knights of Rhodes,And Malta's Knights (there now is their Abodes)
Then call'd Saint Iohns House of Ierusalem.
Epigram. [Iohns Head]
Hee that in all his life ne're car'd for WineFor Wine his memory is made a Signe:
Where such as to the Wine their lives doe wed,
May lose their wit, although they keepe their head.
K.
Epigram. [Kings head]
These Painted Signes unto my view doth bringThe Royall figure of a Mighty King:
To come as sober out as they went in.
Epigram. [Katherin Wheele]
It is a Custome (e're since the beginning)Women (not Men) should use the art of Spinning:
But Spinning is not practis'd with this Wheele,
Yet (in short space) 'twill teach a man to Reele:
Epigram. [Kings Armes]
To the Kings Armes, bring the Kings Armes I pray,For the Kings Armes must all the Reckoning pay:
Without the Kings Armes, not the Kings Arms hant,
Hee's quite disarm'd that doth the Kings Arms want.
L.
Epigram. [Lyon]
These Lyons are exceeding milde and tame,Yet oft (in Ieast) they'l claw a man starke lame:
Play with them temperately, or looke to find,
A Lyon in the end will shew his kind.
Epigram. [Lamb]
A harmlesse Signe of a most fruitfull Creature,Yet contrary to Sheep and Lambs by nature:
They yield us cloathes to weare, and meat to live,
And nothing else but drinke, this Lamb doth give.
M.
Epigram. [Moone]
Though these are but halfe Moones, yet to all suchThey are full Moones, that dare to drinke too much:
The Moone is ever changing day and night,
And hee's a Man that stands i'th Moone upright.
Epigram. [Mouth]
These Mouthes do (like two Monsters) live on Men,They swallow them, and put them out agen:
They gape, yet bite not; if they bite, I'm sure
They rankle not, my selfe have try'd the cure.
Epigram. [Martin]
If it be true, some ancient Writers spoke,That Martin to a Begger gave his Cloake;
Those that have Cloakes, let them this Tavern find,
And there they and their Cloakes may well be lin'd.
Epigram. [Mermayd]
This Mayd is strange (in shape) to Man's appearing,Shee's neither Fish, or Flesh, nor good Red-hearing:
What is shee then? a Signe to represent
Fish, Flesh, good Wine, with welcome and content.
Epigram. [Miter]
These Miters have no Privilege from Rome,Nor are all Catholikes that to them come:
No man's Religion here is call'd in question,
Here's Wine to glad the mind, and breed disgestion.
Epigram. [Maydenhead]
Virginity's a Vertue, much renown'd,A Maydenhead once lost, can nere be found:
But yet these Maydenheads (with little cost)
May be both lost and found, and found and lost.
N.
Epigram. [Nags head]
These head-strong heads all weathers will endure,And where you leave them, you may find them sure:
They never kick or fling, yet with a trick
They oft make sick men well, and sound men sick.
P.
Epigram. [Princes Armes]
Oft in the Field these Royall Plumes have wav'dWhen Englands Foes have bin both bang'd & brav'd:
In memory whereof, wee ever since
Drinke Healthes to'th Cambrian, or Great Britaines Prince.
Epigram. [Popes head]
These Popes heads are no Authors of Debate,Nor Schismaticks, or Troublers of the State:
Yet theres good Clarret, and Sack Catholike
Will make a Mad man Tame, a Tame man strike.
Epigram. [Pye]
This Pye is dumb, yet oft shee makes folks chatterMuch, to small purpose, quite besides the matter:
But temperate men excuse the harmlesse Pye,
The fault is their's that drinke intemperately.
Epigram. [Peacocke]
Though Argus eyes be in the Peacocks taile,A man may drinke there till his eye-sight faile:
But if a man a good Decorum keepe,
Hee'l see the clearer, and more soundly sleepe.
Epigram. [Plough]
There's many goes to Plough, and doe not know,Where Corne (upon the ground, or trees) do grow:
Beware therefore, and looke before thou leape,
And Plough and sow no faster than thou Reape.
Epigram. [Pauls head]
Paul's head an ancient Taverne, in request,Well Custom'd, loving to each honest guest:
But yet they care not for such Guests at all,
As rob and rifle Peter to pay Paul.
Epigram. [Phenix]
The rare Arabian Bird, expires in fire:Reviving, shee's both Young, and Dam, and Sire:
Then as the Phenix is by fire refin'd,
So let the Phenix liquor cleare thy mind.
Q.
Epigram. [Queenes head]
These Queenes heads like the Kings heads are, I seeBoth are one Sex, both Wood, both Painting be:
There is but little difference in the Signes,
And sure there is small odds amongst their Wines.
Epigram. [Queenes Armes]
The Queenes Armes and her Armies were renown'd,Eliza's Fame did fill the worlds wide Round:
Through al her raign, France lov'd us, Spain did fear us
And at her Armes are both their Wines to cheer us.
R.
Epigram. [Rose]
Hee were a man of Art that had the skillRose water from these Roses to distill:
I know theres good Rose Wine, but for Rose Water
I oft have still'd, and still find no such matter.
Epigram. [Ram]
At Ram or Rams head (be it knowne to all)Are Wines Predominant and Capitall,
To set a Horseman quite beside the Saddle,
And make a Footman's Pericranion Addle.
Epigram. [Sun]
The Grape is ripened with bright Phœbus shine,Which shewes that at the Sun there is good wine:
Beware of being Sun-burn't e're thou goe,
Drink civilly, make not thy friend thy Foe.
Epigram. [Star]
Hee that by these eight Stars can Calculate,Iudge of Nativities, and descant Fate:
Yet are their Influences good and bad,
Some gaine wit by them, some lose that they had.
Epigram. [Ship]
Here is a Fleet of Ships, ne're crost the Maine,To bring Commodities from France or Spaine:
Yet are wel fraight with French wine and good Sack.
Epigram. [Swan]
These are strange Swans that neither swim or sinkeAnd all their maintenance is onely drink:
And I in lofty Verse his praise will sing,
That can but pluck a Feather from their wing.
Epigram. [Salutation]
When men doe meet, and courteously Salute,They at the Salutation may dispute:
Some for their profit, some for their love or pleasure,
Whilst all their wine is in and out of Measure.
T.
Epigram. [Tun]
These Tuns proclame there's Tuns of Wine below,Goe in and welcome, try, and you shall know:
There shall you see a plenteous Spring that runs
From Pipes, Buts, Hogsheads, from the liberall Tuns.
Epigram. [Turnstile]
A Turn-stile is a Bar to keepe out Beasts,Which oft times hath more reason than the Guests:
When Wine makes men the Rules of Reason passe,
They'r far inferiour to Oxe, Horse, or Asse.
Epigram. [Taverne]
Where no Signe is, 'tis no ill Signe to mee,Where no Signe is, 'tis no good Signe to see:
But though the Signes are neither good nor bad,
There's Wine, Good, Bad, Indifferent, to be had.
V.
Epigram. [Vineyard]
The Vineyard doth the lushious Grapes produce,The Vintage Presseth, and makes Wine their Iuce:
If these yield no good Wine, I must say still,
The Vineyard's Barren, and the Vintage Ill.
Epigram. [Venice]
The Citty Venice (Strong and Opulent)Fam'd from the Orient, to the Occident:
And sure the Signe of such a Noble Citty
Affords good Wine, or else the more's the pitty.
W.
Epigram. [Wrastler]
Wrastling is held a Manly exercise,A Game Olimpick, both for Praise and Prize:
And Wrastles with the Wine, shall surely Fall.
Epigram. [Windemill]
No Meale-mouth'd Miller Keepes this Mill I know,And let the wind blow either high or low,
Hee's kindly taking Toll, and at his Mill
Is Wine exceeding good, and Welcome still.
Epigram.
[Here's the bright Christall rincing Rhennish Drink]
Here's the bright Christall rincing Rhennish Drink,The salt dry'd Neats-tongue, and West-phalia skink:
The Pickled Herring, and the Anchovea rare:
And (if you please) Potarbo, or Caveare.
They deale in Deale wine, and their dealing's Iust:
And though their Faith be good, they seldom Trust.
[Thus (Gentle Reader) I have ran a Course]
Thus (Gentle Reader) I have ran a CourseThat would have tyr'd (perhaps have kild) a Horse:
For if the winged Pegasus (like Mee)
Had watred been, h'had had no eyes to see:
Or if Bucephalus had trotted so,
Hee had been lam'd and founder'd long agoe.
Yet is my Task not done, for I must Play
A Second Part before I have my Pay:
Which Second Part shall to your view declare
The Tavernes in ten Shires, and where they are;
Within what County, in what Towne, what Signe,
Or else (if not what Signe) who sels the Wine.
The Counties are, Brave Barkshire, Hampshire, Essex,
Kent, Surrey, Hartford, Middlesex and Sussex;
With Buckingham and Oxford; these are they
Which in my Second Part I must display.
Bull, Beare, and Horse, Cut, Curtaile, and Longtaile. VVith Tales, and Tales of Buls, Clenches, and Flashes.
As also here and there a touch of our Beare-Garden-sport; with the second part of the Merry conceits of Wit and Mirth. Together with the Names of all the Bulls and Beares.
Bull, Beare, and Horse, Cuts, Curtols, and Longtailes.
Or ignorant, but that he knowes a Bull:
There are more sorts of Bulls then Beares by ods,
For Iupiter, (the chiefe of Heathen gods)
Into a Bull, was pleas'd himselfe to Shape,
When on Europa he committed Rape:
And to a Bull, he turn'd his forme divine
When he (on Ceres) got faire Proserpine.
Taurus (the Bull) is if you wisely Note
A Signe Cælestiall for the Necke and Throat,
If any doubt of it, let them but go
And buy an Almanacke, hee'le finde it so.
Pasipha Queene of Creet, (a Royall Trull)
Was monstrously enamour'd of a Bull:
'Twixt whom the Monster Minotaure was got,
As in th'eighth Booke of Ovid it was wrot.
That sayes there was a man there (Taurus nam'd)
Who was beloved of the lustfull Queene,
And had with her too oft familiar beene.
'Tis said Semiramis (King Ninus Mother)
Did love a Bull, which is as true as 'tother.
When as Just Minos, (Creets victorious King)
The Megarans did to's subjection bring,
For which to Iove a feast he solemniz'd,
Wherein a hundred Buls were sacrific'd.
The Brazen Bull of Phallaris the Tyrant,
Was such a Beast, as made the World admire on't,
In which men Roasted, were to death Tormented,
And he first suffred in't that it Invented.
There dwels a man at Rome, that Buls can make,
To make seduced Kings, and Kingdomes Quake,
Which Buls (though Lead) (O wondrous to behold
Are quickly Metamorphos'd into Gold.
There's the Philosophers Admired Jemme,
(That long sought Jewell, worth a Diademe)
That hard, hard stone, which many men have sought
And all they found, they found themselves worth nought;
The Castle Angello, doth it Immure
And there turnes drossy Lead, to Gold most pure.
There are Bulbeggers, which fright Children much,
There are Bull Taverns, that mens Wits will tutch;
And further (for the Buls Renowne and fame)
We had an ex'lent Hangman of that name.
Who with an ugly Dwarfe defiles her life,
To please her husband, she can fiddle, faddle,
Whilst oftentimes a Monkey sits his Saddle,
A man may say, that he most basely is
Bull'd with an Urchin, through his Wifes amisse.
And now of late a Bull's a Common Creature,
For men (with nonsence) do speak Bull's by Nature,
From East to West, from North unto the South,
Bull's are produc'd each houre, by Word of Mouth.
Which every day are brought unto the Printer,
Faster then Mother Puddings made her Winter.
To the decay of many a Tallow Taper,
And the consuming many a Reame of Paper,
Soft mault doth make sweet Fire, the Proverb sayes,
Or else the Bull sayes so, you see which wayes.
If men would use to Leape before they Looke,
Bulls should not thus be thrust in many a Booke,
For though Care may be Kill'd with any Cat,
You are not sure the Fire is in the Fat,
Fooles faine (say they) do often make faire Words,
Yet some may Catch the Bush, some beat the Birds.
But Better comes the seldome, I desire
For My Kill set the Peck of Maulte on fire.
This any man may, to himselfe apply
That when the Larks fall, we may catch the skie.
But if my Judgement do me not deceive
I do esteeme it better lacke then leave.
Yet hungry Puddings will eat dirty Doggs.
And sure a man had better bide away,
Then come to late, A Faire after the Day.
If such a one speed well, it is as rare,
As tis To catch a Taber with a Hare.
Which is as certaine as blind Fortunes Wheele,
Or hold fast Like a wet Taile by the Eele.
Let every man a true decorum keepe,
Because tis ill, A waking Dogge to sleepe.
And tis a Proverb throughout Christendome,
That never One day was not built in Rome.
If great men give me nothing, I say plaine,
Ile hurle as much as that at them againe.
He that stickes downe a Goose, and steales a Feather,
Doth (by that match) not save, or profit neither.
A long Corne for short harvest men may see,
Like tedious woeing for a scornefull shee.
Tis folly for a man to fall at strife
With Women, who hath nine Cats like a life;
For when the Gray-Horse is the better Mare,
A Blinde man may be taken with a Hare.
Spet in your hold, take better hands I say,
We may be heere to Morrow, and gone to day.
The man that angrie is without amends,
Tis fit (without a cause he be made friends:)
For though men know their Cattel by their marks
The greatest men are not the wisest Clarkes.
But He that is halfe hang'd, hath no good name.
Though all these Rimes are scarcely worth a Token
The Water to the Pott goes till tis broken.
Who cuts their fingers must abide them bleed,
And when Geese preach, then let the Fox take heede.
Tis hard to make me thinke, or late, or soone,
That ever Greene Cheese was made of the Moone.
Nor is it fit (as I doe understand)
To put a mad Sword in a nak'd mans hand.
A man may be a Drunkard or a Leacher,
And yet mend as the Bolt doth mend the Fletcher.
Or as the sowre Ale mends the Sommer, so
A man (mistooke) may make his friend, his foe.
For all this, 'tis not fitting to be book'd,
How once olde Lincolne ore the Devill look'd.
The Ancient Proverb still doth stand in force,
Some better may looke one then steale a Horse.
It may be some will not these lines allow,
But then they take a wrong Eare by the Sow.
Twas never yet a question in the Law,
To stumble at a Blocke, leape ore a straw.
But any man of simple wit may finde,
That all this Corne hath shaken downe no Winde.
He that will wrangle for an Egge thats Addle,
Although he lose the Horse, may winne the Saddle.
And thus my Muse, most lowly elevated,
These English Proverbs hath to Bulls translated.
More worthy, and Remarkeable observations of the Bull.
As is before Repeated in my lines,Taurus (the Bull) 'mongst the Celestial Signes;
So Taurus is a Mountaine, whose high Top
Doth seeme to scale the Skies, and underprop
The Bull that's stellified; That Hill doth Bound
All Asia on the North, about it round
Is many a Kingdome and large Continent,
Which shewes the Bull is mighty in extent.
A Bull's a Beast of State and Reputation,
For he that eats Bull Beefe, (by approbation)
With eating such strong meate, I do assure ye
'Twill puffe him up, and make him swell with fury.
If any man will but himselfe examine,
Hee'le find a Bull, a Buckler against famine,
A Bull's a happy Creature, whence proceeds
Most of the food, whereon most people feeds:
He, and his sweet hearts (most beloved Kine)
Yeelds thousands wherewithall to suppe and dine.
The Calves, (his sonnes and daughters) plenteously
With young and tender Veale, our wants supply.
And from the Bull'd Cow, (in perpetuall motion)
Milke flowes amongst us daily like an Ocean,
Sweet Creame, and Cockney Curds they yeeld each day,
And (for the poor) Whig, Buttermilk and Whay,
And Butter, to annoint the Flemmings Chaps,
The Milk-Pans do allow, like bounteous Pooles,
Meanes to make Cheese-cakes, Custards, Flawns, and Fools,
And at the Milk-pale I have seene and heard
Good Sullabubs, have been both made and mard.
It is the Bull's Conjunction with the Cow
(With blest encrease) that doth these things allow.
Without the Bull we should be so unslor'd,
The Kingdome could not yeeld a Posset Curd.
Know then by this (good Reader) what a Bull is,
And he that will not know it, but a Gull is.
The Oxe (the Buls strong Eunuch son) is Chiefe
Of Mortall meats, (man-feeding vigorous Beefe)
And who so will amongst the Butchers seeke
In London, and in Westminster each weeke,
With those two Cities Bounds, and Liberties,
With Countrey Butchers, and the great supplies
That Market folkes do to those parts Impart
(The Load of many a Horse, and many a Cart)
The Beeves thus slaine, and eaten would appeare
Above 3000, each weeke through the yeere.
Chines, Surloyns, Flanks, Clods, Legs, doth fill us full,
Brisket and Marrow-bones comes from the Bull;
A Neats-tongue dri'd is deere, a Dish of State,
At Stilliard any man may know the Rate.
'Twould trouble men to Read, and I to write.
Thus do the Butchers Thriue, the Grasiers Gaine,
The Cooks and Victualers, do their states maintain,
Sowse-wives grow plump and fat, and 'tis because
Their sale is quicke for Muggets Paunches, Mawes,
Tripes, Reads, Neatsfeet, Cowheels, & Chitterlings,
Whilst many thousands feed on Bag-puddings.
Note but how well the Cheese-mongers do live,
And what a usefull gainfull Trade they drive:
Yet in their shops there is true Justice found
The poore mans peney, and the rich mans pound
Shall have true, weight according to proportion,
Without conivence, falshood, or extortion.
Were there no Buls, Chandlers were beggerd quite
Nor could they sell our darknesse any light
At any price of Reason, then our Guise
Were soone to go to Bed, and late to Rise.
Thus is the Bull, and the Bulls Breed descected
In Flesh and Entrales; now my Quil's erected
(In what is writ before I have not Lyde)
And now Ile flourish ore the Hornes and Hyde.
The Tanners wealth encreaseth day and Night,
'Till at the last his Sonne is dub'd a Knight:
And Daughters should be (could they purchase pride)
With Portions, and proportions Ladyfi'de.
The Currier also needs not Curry favoure,
For though his Trade smell, somethidg hath some savour.
Their sonnes bound prentise to a Shoomaker;
But that their future hopes do them perswade,
It is no Bare-footed and Bootlesse Trade.
Nor will it ever lack, or live in scorne,
'Till all our children without feet are borne;
For (more then any Trade) hee'le sing and play,
Whilst every Munday is his Holiday.
And when a Shoomaker falls to decay,
Hee'le be a Cobler new, and mend that way:
But there's a monstrous Trade, of late sprung forth,
Doth spoil more Leather then their skins are worth;
The best Hydes they devoure, and Gurmundize,
Which makes the worst in price too high to Rise;
With them the World doth bravely run on Wheeles,
Whilst poore men pinch and pay, quite out at heels.
But hold, what vessell have I set a Broach,
What is muse got jolting in a Coach?
Out with a vengeance, walk on foot I pray
And to the Bull again direct your way.
Now for the excellent Admired Horne
More profitable then the Unicorne.
For Hoopes, for Spectacles, for Combs to dresse you
(Which when they come so neere your heads, pray
And 'tis a Bull I have heard often said (blesse you)
Reach me the Iron Shooing Horne good Maid.
And when the Hunted Stag bids life farewell,
The Huntsmans Horn doth bravely Ring his Knell,
Before the Gelder reft him of his stones.
Thus from the Bull, and the Bulls Breed you see,
A world of people still maintained be;
He finds flesh, Bootes, Shooes, Lights, and stands instead
And great importance to afford us Bread.
The Bulls deare sonne (the Oxe) with daily toyle,
Weares out himselfe with plowing and turmoyle,
And all to find us bread, and when he dyes,
His Flesh, Hyde, Hornes, and all our wants supplies.
So much for Bulls now in particular,
For our Beare-Garden Bull, a Bull of war,
A stout, a valiant, and a Head-strong-Beast,
Which did not fight this 18 Moneths at least;
A Beast of mighty pollicy and power,
That at his Dog foes will looke Grim, and Lower,
Hee'le Knit the Brow with terror, in such sort,
That when he chafes most, then he makes most sport;
At push of Pike, he with his head will play,
And with his feet spurne injuries away;
Hee'l turne and wind as nimble as an Eele,
And kicke, and skornes abuses with his Heele;
Hee'le fling and throw, hee'le bravely tosse & turn,
Hee'le hurle and heave, and dangerously spurne,
Note but his valour, when hee's at the stake,
How he prepares himselfe the Dog to take:
His feet fix'd fast, disdaining once to stirre,
His wary eye upon the angry Cur.
And with advantage up his foe he heaves,
With such a force, that often with the fall
Hee's dead, or lam'd, or hath no power to sprawle.
Thus hath our Bull fought in his owne defence,
And purchas'd (for his Master (Crowns and pence.
And for that purpose may do so agen,
(I wish I had the knowledge to know when)
For since the time a Bull a Dog could tosse,
Our Beare-Garden had never such a losse:
But lets not lay the fault upon the Times,
But let us blame our selves, and cease our Crimes.
A Beare.
And therefore (Reader) give, or lend an Eare.
First therefore, in much briefenesse I am rendring
Where, and how Beares have breeding and engendring,
Some are Ossean, some are Callidonian,
Some Æremanthian Beares, and some Æmonian,
Some rugged Russians, some Sun-burnt Numidians,
And lastly, the white swimming Beares, (Amphibians)
Some do affirme a Beare to be a creature,
Whelp'd like a lump, with neither shape or feature,
Untill the Damme doth licke it into fashion,
And makes the lump a Beare in transformation.
As Taylors with their precious wisdomes Tallants,
Do licke, and Metamorphose Gulls to Gallantt.
Whereby a fashion oft is shap'd (by chance)
Out of an ill-bread lumpe of ignorance.
But for the Beare he keepes his shape most constant,
The Taylor (and his creatures) change each instant,
The Beare keepes still, the fashion he brought hither,
The gallant Gull's inconstant, like Weather.
A prudent Schoolmaster, of sparing dyet,
Hee'le live foure moneths from every kind of meat,
By sucking of his left foot, like a Teat.
Which is an abstinence that doth require,
More then the fast of a Carthusisian Fryer,
No Capuchin, or immur'd Anchorite,
Did never (so much) curbe his Appetite.
And as Beares suffer hunger, I am sure,
No beast created, doth more cold endure:
When fridged Boreas blustring blasts do blow,
Mid'st Rocks, of hoary Ice, and hills of Snow,
The worst of Winters sharp extremity,
The hardy Beare, abides most constantly.
And in hot Africke, and the Libian Coast,
Where Phæbus flames doth seeme the world to Roast:
Where Negro Moores, are dride and blackly dide,
That heat (excessive) there the Beare doth hide.
So that with hunger, heat, and pinching cold,
The Beares extremities are manifold.
Being growne unto Maturity and strength,
And having hither past the seas, at length,
At Beare-Garden, (a sweet Rotuntious Colledge)
Hee's taught the Rudiments of Art and knowledge.
There doth he learne to dance, and (gravely grumbling)
To fight & to be Active (bravely tumbling)
To practise wards, and postures, to and fro,
To guard himselfe, and to offend his foe;
And cuffe a Dog off with his foot-like hand;
And afterwards (for recreations sake)
Practise to run the Ring about the stake.
Whilst showts, and Mastives mouthes do fill the sky
That sure Acteon ne're had such a cry.
Thus Beares do please the hearing and the sight,
And sure their sent will any man invite:
For whosoer'e spends most, shall finde this favour,
That by the Beares and Dogs, hee's made a favour.
And as a Common-wealth, (oft by Ill-willers)
Is vex'd by prowling Knaves, and Caterpillars,
So is a Beare (which is a quiet Beast)
By Curres and Mungrels, oftentimes opprest.
And tyde to what he doth hee's bound to see,
The best and worst of all their cruelty.
And for mens monies, what shift ere they make for't,
What ere is laid or paid, the Beare's at stake for't.
Though he be hardly drawne to't 'gainst his will,
Hee's bound to see and beare, and bide much ill;
Besides the baiting of a Beare is rare,
Unlike the baiting of a Horse or Mare:
The Horse hath Provender, and Hey for Bait,
And doth in peace and quiet eate his meat;
When as the Beare, is Tugg'd, Lugg'd, Bit & Beaten
And eates no Bait, but likely to be Eaten.
A Beare is like a Watchman by his coat,
He weares a Rugge-Gowne alwayes (if you note,)
As mannerly, and watch as well as he.
And as a grumbling Officer may weare
A Collor and a Chaine, so doth a Beare.
'Tis writ by Authors (Philosophicall)
How that a Beare is usefull, Physicall,
For Agues, and hot Feavers, take his haire,
His Greace (or Lard) will aking Limbes repaire:
His Marrow strengthens, (if you do annoint)
Shrunk Sinewes, Nerves, or an enfeebled joint,
The oyle boyl'd from his feet will operate
The Gowtes tormenting much to mitigate,
And when man's in consumption, like to pine,
The Bears pith's good, that grows amidst his Chine.
A Beares skin Tann'd it'h haire, is for a bed
Better then Blanquet, Rugg, or Coverled.
A Beares Teeth, Painters in high price do hold,
To make them Instruments to gild with gold,
And for his Furre it is such ex'lent stuffe,
That Many a Lady weares it in a Muffe;
Dry a Beares Liver, and to Powder beat it,
And let a Maid of forty five yeares eat it;
Although a thousand false Knaves would deceive her
Yet she shall keep her Maidenhead for ever.
Thus having shew'd of Beares their sundry breeding
Their formes, their admirable sparing feeding:
Their patience, courage, temperance, fortitude,
And many vertues that have them endu'd,
Ile give one short touch more and make an end.
Then for the further honour of the Beares,
They (with the stars) are mounted in their Sphears:
There Vrsa Major in the firmament,
Is stellifide, a glorious ornament,
And there, the little Beare, (a starre more finer)
Is call'd Artophilax, or Vrsa Minor,
And who so reads the second part of Ovid,
There shall they finde (what here is writ) approved.
Now once againe, pray lend your eyes and eares,
Ile write of baiting of the Bulls and Beares.
It is a Game so ancient, that I wot
Records can scarce shew when we usde it not.
Except now, in these sad infectious times,
That heav'ns just hand doth plague us for our crimes,
The Game is by authority supprest;
And Beares, and Bulls, and Dogs, have too much rest,
Through want of baiting growne to such a straine,
(Hard to be tam'd, or brought in frame againe)
Almost all mad for want of exercise,
Filling, the Aire with roaring and with cries,
That those who neer the Bear-Garden are dwelling
Do heare such bellowing, bawling, yawling, yelling,
As if Hell were broake loose, or (truth to speake)
The Devils at foot ball were on Barley-breake.
There's three couragious Bulls, as ever plaid,
Twenty good Beares, as er'e to stake was taid.
That from fierce Lions will not turne their faces;
A male and female Ape (kinde Jacke and Jugge,
Who with sweet complement do kisse and hugge,
And lastly there is Jacke an Apes his Horse,
A Beast of fiery fortitude and force.
As for the Game I boldly dare relate,
'Tis not for Boyes, or fooles effeminate,
For whoso'ere comes thither, most and least,
May see and learne some courage from a Beast:
And 'tis not only a base Rabble Crew,
That thither comes, It may be proved true,
That to the Beare-Garden comes now and than,
Some Gamesters worth ten thousand pounds a man.
For rough behaviour that's no great disgrace,
There's more hors-play us'd at each deere hors-race,
More heads, or legs, or necks, are broake each day,
At Cards, Dice, Tables, Bowles, or foot-ball-play.
The Game hath been maintain'd, and will, we hope
Be so againe (now favour gives it scope)
For Kings, for Princes, for Ambassadors,
Both for our Countrymen, and forreigners.
Which hath been held, a Royalty and Game,
And (though ecclips'd) will be againe the same.
But now (to make an end) must be explain'd,
How it the name of Paris-Garden gain'd:
The name of it was from a Royall Boy,
(Brave Illions fire-brand, wracke and sacke of Troy)
Was throwne away into the woods so wilde,
There that young Prince was cast to lfve or perish,
And there a Bear with sucke, the babe did cherish;
And as a rare memoriall of the same,
From Paris, Paris-Garden hath the name.
Those that will not beleeve it, let them go
To France, in Paris, they may find it so,
Or if not there, let them looke narrowly,
In Mathew Paris famous History.
And that we have obtain'd againe the Game,
Our Paris-Garden Flag proclaimes the same.
Our Beares, and Bulls, and Dogs in former state,
The streets of London do perambulate,
And honest sport, and lawfull merriment,
Shall thrice a weeke be shew'd, to give content.
Vpon the goodnesse of a worthinesse of Horses, with a merry touch of the Beare-Garden Palfrey or Jacke-an-Apes his Horse.
My Muse is Mounted 'twixt the soaring wingsOf Pegasus, who bravely flies and flings
Through ayre, through clouds, through sun-shine, & descries
Each earthly Regions Rare Varieties.
The numbers infinite, of sundry creatures,
Their strange diversity in formes and Natures,
And as in gliding flight, I swiftly soare
Or'e Sun-burnt Africke, and the Libian shore,
There (with much pleasure) I did cast mine eye
Upon the well-made Horse of Barbarie,
And crossing or'e the Mediterran Maine,
I saw the prauncing Jennet of proud Spaine,
Straight the Iberian fume of Aristippus,
Hurl'd us to Greece, and their I view'd their Hippos.
Whereas their fierce Cavallo I did view,
In Naples I the Courser brave espide,
Thence, we or'e Almaine, and low Belgia glide,
There my Muse saw the bounding Palfrey Prance,
From thence my wing'd horse bore me over France
There foaming fiery hot the gallant Gaul,
Did daunce Corantoes with his Frenth Chevall.
Then or'e Hibernia, we tooke speedy flight,
And there the Irish Hobby pleas'd my sight,
Then my Pegasian wings began to flag,
I view'd the English Steed, and Scottish Nag.
And as the heat of blood my Beast inflames
He kick'd and threw me headlong into Thames,
And as I fell, his hoofe bestow'd a wince
Upon my pate, and there's the marke ere since.
The gentle River at my fall did grieve,
Set me on land safe, gave me meanes to live:
And Pegasus inspir'd me with his heele,
That ever since an itching vaine I feele,
Of sprightfull Poesie, though not so well,
As men may say I therein do excell.
But I can do (as many more have done)
Bring Reames of Paper to confusion.
Nor doth my Muse rejoyce in merriments,
Drawne from wits sorded obsceane excrements;
Or libelling 'gainst men infortunate,
I meane to keep my eares upon my head,
And on mens miseries I scorne to tread.
I have observ'd no proud man ever yet,
Did any thing but ruine, and hatred get;
I know obedience, and humilitie,
Is best with all belov'd tranquilitie,
I know the lawes guard me from mischiefes Jawes,
Which lawes I love, & those that made those lawes
Nor shall my lines (for things indifferent)
In Church or Common-wealth er'e make a rent.
Thus Pegasus did to Pernassus soare,
And on the Thames I got a healthfull Oare,
Which ofttimes I have us'd, and will againe,
Meane time Ile use the vigour of my braine,
As Homer writ the warres of Mice and Frogs,
So I (his Ape) do write of Beares and Dogs:
Of Bulls, and Bulls begot by word of mouth
Of Horses, and some Tales of age and youth,
And now my Muse againe begins to mount,
The Horses excellency to recount,
You famous Palfreyes of the flaming Sunne,
(That scorn'd the management of Phaeton)
Who with the heat of Sol's bright Axelltree
Caus'd all this under world on fire to be;
(I know the morall meaning of the same,
Is, man should not beyond true reason ayme.)
Apolloes golden Teame Assist my Muse,
But 'tis no matter, keepe your daily course,
Without your aide my wit is nere the worse;
Whilst you are reeking with celestiall sweat
I, of Terrestriall Horses meane to treat.
A Horse (of all the Beasts beneath the skie)
Is best, and most for mans commodity:
His exact making gives the eye delight,
A body brave, lin'd with a noble sprite,
And though he knew no reson, or a mind,
Yet unto man hee's tractably enclin'd,
In dangerous war, the Horse the brunt doth carry,
Where every Rider seemes a Sagitary,
In peace, a Horse for state, for Tilt or Tourney,
For quicke dispatch, or ease in any journey,
For pleasure, carriage, and for husbandry,
The Horse doth furnish our necessity.
The poorest Horse that is, or ever was,
Doth much more service then the golden Asse,
Thats deck'd with borrowed trappings, yet such beasts,
Advance audaciously their brainlesse Crests,
Neere where the Princely Lyon doth resort,
And there in pride and sensuall lust do snort,
Yet can they not outstrip all beasts so farr,
But Wisdomes eye perceives them what they are.
The hunting Horse is of good use for pleasure.
The Sumpter Horse doth understand the treasure.
The Pack-horse overladen measures ground,
The Mare and Gelding serves our businesse well,
Whilst (for poore Hackneyes) England is a Hell.
And what's a Horses gaine for all his paine,
But bread, grasse, hay, oats, or such kind of Graine,
That is the summum bonum, he desires,
Through want of which there's many a good Horse tyres.
I have seene Gallants (three parts drunke almost)
Ride, as they meant to see the Devill in post,
And when they to their journies end have come,
Their horses mucky wet, with sweat and foame,
The Riders fall unto their drinking vaine,
The Ostler walkes the Horse a turne or twaine,
Their jawes tyde up unto the empty Racke,
The whilst their Riders smoake, and swallow sack,
Quaffes, capers, sings a Katch, a round, or Ditty,
And leaves the Horse unto the Hostlers pitty,
And so the jades of meat do get such store,
As Lazarus once had at the Gluttons dore.
Thus many a good Horse proves a jade indeed
Being over rid, and want whereon to feed,
All those that to a beast beares such a mind,
I wish them all so served in their kind.
There's many wayes, mens barbarous cruelty,
Doth cause diseases multiplicity
To be in Horses, and the damned Trade
To sell a Botch'd sophisticated jade,
He that beleeves me not, let him go seeke.
There shall he see the ambler made to trot,
The lame and founderd, lusty, (being hot)
The trotter shall be forc'd with ease to amble,
And through the horsemarket shall be such scamble
With galloping, and trotting, ambling, pacing,
Most odious swearing, lying, and out-facing,
Such dawbing horses griefes with counterfeiting,
That hee's a cuuning buyer scapes their cheating.
In ancient times, horses much fame did gaine,
Which Poets and Historians do maintaine:
Besides the swift skie-scalding Pegasus,
Great Alexander had Bucephalus,
Reinoldo had his Bayard, and there are,
Names giv'n to horses, both in peace and war.
But leaving stately horses, it is found
The Bear-garden is circular, or rovnd,
Where Iack-an-Apes his horse doth swiftly run
His circuit, like the horses of the Snn.
And quicke as lightning, his will trace and track,
Making that endlesse round his Zodiacke,
Which Iacke (his Rider) bravely rides a straddle,
And in his hot Careere perfumes the saddle;
And sprung from ancient and approved race,
His grandsires grandsire, was begot perforce,
Between the Night-mare, and the Trojan Horse,
That female Horse of Sinon, in whose wombe
A hundred well-arm'd mad Colts had their roome,
Wch being foald, spoild Troy, with sword & flame,
And from that Jade, our jade descent doth claime,
For (as his parents oft have done before)
He alvvayes keepes a jadish tricke in store.
Pegasus cast me off his backe, and I fell into the Thames, which was the cause I serv'd an apprenticeship to be a Waterman.
A sad and deplorable loving Elegy consecrated to the living memory of his best assured friend, the generally beloved, M. Richard Wyan deceased, late his Majesties Proctor for the High Court of the Admiralty. Who departed this life at his house at Bryl in Buckinhamshire, on thursday the 16. of August last. 1638.
It may be good to live, but well to liveIs such a Good, as few men can Achieve:
The more we live, the more we do offend,
The way to Heav'n's a good and speedy end:
Th'Almighty Landlord (who doth all things sway,
Doth let mans Soule a Tenement of clay,
And Man is no Free-holder, but is still
A Tenant only at the Landlords will.
They are but Leafes, till our Lives expire,
And thankes is all the Rent God doth require.
And such a one was He, of whom I write,
Who liv'd as euer in his Makers sight:
Who day and night did humbly pay his rent
Of thankes and praise for his fraile Tenement.
Not only words, but reall deedes declar'd
His love, His zeale, obedience and regard
He ow'd to God and Man, to each degree
His Heart, his Hand, his pen and purse were free.
The poore mans Patron in distressed state,
The rich mans patterne, how to imitate.
Religion was His Pilot, and did steere
His course of life, and all his actions here.
With courage daily he did Death defie,
His heart was fix'd on immortality;
And one good precept, never he forgot,
To use the World, as if hee us'd it not.
Wherefore th'Almighty (in His gracious Doome,)
Hath pluck'd him hence, from ills that are to come.
The poore have greatest losse, they weeping know,
He would not say God helpe, but help'd their woe.
The State hath lost a Servant of great Trust,
His friends haue lost a friend assured, just.
His vertuous wife and children, great and small,
Brother and sisters, kin, in generall
Haue all receiv'd a losse, so great that we
Can never hope that it repair'd shalbe.
But I haue lost a friend, beyond a brother,
For I nere had, nor shall haue such another.
But here's our comfort, though grim Death assail'd him,
His Faith, his trust, and confidence nere fail'd him:
And though we all haue lost him, God hath found him,
And with eternall happinesse hath crown'd him.
TRVTH'S TRIUMPH:
OR, Old Miracles newly revived in the Gracious preservation of our Soveraigne Lord the King.
How (out of Nothing) He did All Create:
Made man, True, Holy, Just, who (fowlely) fell
And God Redeem'd him from sin, death, and hell:
His Miracles of Judgment, fearefull, rare,
His Miracles of Mercy Mighty are;
Which makes my Muse this Miracle to Sing
How graciously God hath preserv'd my King.
The Ravens fed Elias in his need,
And Hungry Daniel, Abacuck did feed,
The Meale and Oyle, did every day encrease
In Rich Aboundance, till the Dearth did cease,
King David, oftentimes to flee was forc'd,
And (like a Partridge or'e the Mountaines Cours'd,
Th'Almighty still being their Great defence,
Sav'de them from Famine, Sword, and Pestilence,
And as these Miracles long Since were done,
Yet God hath Lately shewed a Gracious one,
Else he had Ruin'd beene, or downe beene Trod.
For when Rebellion had the Land or'espread,
And that the foot durst kicke against the Head;
When each Fox had a Hole, each Bird a Nest
And He no place his Royall Head to Rest;
Depriv'd of Houses, Castles, Townes and Fortes,
Of Shipping, Ammunition, Havens, and Portes,
Of Powder, Shot, Guns, Pikes, onely one Sword
Was Left him, which is Gods Eternall Word;
Besides all this, his Magazins, his Tower,
His Meanes, Rents, Customes, Ravish'd from his power,
All his Revenues stopp'd, his Aides all staid,
His Friends, and faithfull Subjects pris'ners laid,
Or Banish'd, or undone, both they and theirs
Whil'st Povertie's their Portions, and their Heires.
His Antient Servants, (like poore sheepe forlorne)
Despis'd and Look'd on with the Eyes of Scorne,
Because they could not, or would not Maintaine.
Disloyall warre against their Soveraigne.
Nay more, His Gracious Queene (that Royall shee)
Was for Her safety forc'd perforce to flee;
What Wickednesse Could worse be Hatched then
When He, that is the onely man of men,
And She, the Woman for Her Vertues wonderd,
So woefully should be divorc'd and sunderd.
He whose Integritie's Admir'd Approv'd,
She who deserves of all to be belov'de,
A Blessed fruitfull Mother, and Thereby
Her issue may the whole world dignify.
He, should my pen presume his praise to write
'Twere like a Taper to give Phœbus Light;
In whom the Goddesses and Graces Dwell,
In heart Heroicke, like the Thund'rers Bride,
Like Citherea, She is Beautifide,
Magnanimous, Like Ioves Brave Braine-Borne Girle
In State and Minde of Maiesty the pearle.
This Matchles Paire (with whom none may compare)
By Rude, unruly Rebels sundred were.
Their onely faults are, they are both too good
For such as have their Goodnes thus withstood.
A Milde Iosias will not serve their Turne,
But Gracelesse they against his Mildnesse Spurne:
A Nero, or an Heliogabalus
Were fitter far, for Such as wrong'd him thus.
His Blessed Raigne (from Cruelty exempt)
Requited with disloyall Curst Contempt,
Traduc'd in Pulpits, and in printed Lies,
Abus'd with needlesse seares, and Jealousies;
Tax'd, he would beare an Arbitrary sway,
And turne Religion to the Romish way:
In Conventicles, Sermons, Drinking, Walking,
Or in discourse, Treason was safest talking.
Besides all this (to all true Subjects Griefe)
His never Broken Word gain'd no Beliefe,
His Vowes, and Protestations, firme and Just
(Which I account High Treason to distrust)
All unbeleev'd, Misconstred, wrongly wreasted
By false Surmise of men, Disloyall Breasted.
No faith was Left 'em, doubtfull diffidence,
Had Banish'd all Beleife, and confidence;
God and the King, were both us'd in one fashion,
The Creed was thrust out of the Congregation:
They neither would beleeve God, or the King.
For if they thought there were a God indeed,
They then would know damnation is decreed
In Scripture, for Resisting powers ordayn'd
By God, which should be honour'd and maintain'd.
It is a Maxime, hath beene alwaies held,
The Protestant Religion ne're Rebell'd:
Their Doctrine teaches humbly to obey,
And, Whatsoever Seperatists can say,
It plaine Appeares, they are not Protestants
That ('gainst their King) uncivill Warres Advance.
Thus did new Englands Sects Strive Impiously,
To turne old England to an Anarchy.
Thus was my Gracious Leige of all Bereft,
And (in the world's opinion) little left;
Then was he Rich in God, Then had he most,
Th'Almighty Rais'd for him a mighty Hoste,
Brave Armes, and Armies, in his Cause to fight,
And set faithes true Defender in his Right.
With Hope and Confidence hee's armed still,
And humbly waites upon his makers will:
With these he hath oppos'd false fortunes frownes,
With these he hath Recover'd Strength and Townes,
With these he hath got mony (warres strong nerves)
With these Hee's serv'd because his God he serves.
With these his Magnanimity hath won
Triumphant Honours, that shall ne're be done.
But Beyond Time his fame shall ever last,
And he in blest Eternity be plac'd.
All praise to thee, Eternall King of Kings,
That coveredst Him with thy protectious wings
My Soveraignes Safety All Consists in Thee.
When as Assiria's King, (or th'Aramite)
'Gainst Israel came, with Numbers Infinite,
The Man of God (Elisha) did disclose
The plots and purposes of Israel's foes.
In Dothan then the Prophet did Reside,
And Aram did a Mighty Host provide,
And Seidg'd that Towne, (with terror much dismaid)
Elishaes Servant also was afraid:
Alas Master, How shall we do said He,
The Prophet said, feare not, for with us be
More then with them; Then did the Prophet pray
His mans Mindes Blindnesse might be tooke away,
And presently Such Sight did Him Inspire
He saw his Master Compast Round with fire,
And all the Mountaine full of wondrous forces
Of Heavenly Soldiers, Charets, men and Horses.
Elishaes Prayer did such favour find
That all the Aramites were Strait Strooke Blind
And so Captiv'd, their mighty Host did bring
Into Samaria, unto Israells King.
Againe the Prophet praid unto the Lord,
And presently their Sights were all Restor'd,
With feare, they saw themselves environd Round,
By those, whom they had purpos'd to Confound.
Th'Assirians Being in this piteous plight,
Quoth Israel's King (twice) Father, shall I Smite,
The Prophet Answerd, I say Smite them not,
Those with the sword whom thou hast Captive Got;
Although they're foes they're men, opprest with greif,
Give Bread and Water to 'em, for Releife.
And (on his foes did much compassion take,
He fed them, and in peace he sent them back
Who came to be his Ruin and his Wrack.
So, thus th'Almighty pleased his foes to tame,
And Arams Bands no more to Israell came.
Thus unto Israel was deliverance given,
Miraculously by the hand of Heaven.
When Ammon Joynd with Moab, and Mount Seir,
Good King Jehosophat to overbear.
With Multitudes of Horse, and men of war,
So that all Humane Hope, and Helpe was far.
God then a Prophet rais'd who truly said,
Stand Still Jehosaphat, be not dismaid,
Behold the Lords Salvation, he hath spoak,
The feild is thine, thou shalt not strike a stroake.
Strait the mistakeing Ammonite (pell mell)
Together by the Eares with Moab fell,
Each, thought the other Judah's force to be
In Bloudy Battaile deadly blows did flee.
At last Mount Seir, (or th'warlike Edomite)
Came in, and on them both, Renew'd the fight;
The slaughter was so Great, that death was Cloyd,
And thus Gods foes, themselves, themselves destroyed.
Thus whilest they did each other overthrow,
The King had victory and strooke no blow.
My application of all this, is this,
That God that ever was, for ever Is,
He sav'd Samaria from the Aramites,
And Just Jehosaphat from Ammonites,
And from th'Incestuous brood of Moabites,
And Esaus Rough-haird seed, the Edomites.
And he doth know, King Charles his heart is right.
By Miracles of old 'tis Manifest,
Th'Almighty hath his wondrous power exprest;
And Sure, the Miracle, God shew'd of late
Is Admirable, Loving, Gracious, Great.
The Kings own Subjects, His own servants too
Pay'd, and gave Ayd, their Soveraigne to undo:
With His own Weapons, Armes, and every thing.
They, (in the Kings Name) warr against the King.
Then, in that Low, unworthy exigent
The Powerfull hand of the Omnipotent
Raised him againe, to beat Rebellion downe,
And to regaine againe, (in peace) his owne.
When (like to Aram) our Blind Separatists
Have Clear'd their Blear'd Eyes from Erroneous Mists,
The Nose-wife Brownist Grauely doth begin
To see the foolerie he hath liv'd in,
The Anabaptist likewise hath found out
How he hath gone the furthest way about.
The Papist (as I hope) is quite past Hope
That England shall be pester'd with the Pope,
And every Idle Sect discountenanc'd,
And onely Protestants true faith advanc'd,
This God by Miracle for us hath don,
And England Hath it's ancient glory Won.
Prophetically true, I hope these Lines
Of mine will prove, for (as my Soule divines)
The Lord these things to passe will shortly bring,
And God, for ever Blesse and Save the King.
OXFORD BESIEDGED, Surprised, Taken, and Pittifully Entred on Munday the second of Iune last, 1645. by the Valiant Forces of the London and Westminster Parliament.
[For Browne, for Skippon, Cromwell, and for Fairfax]
For Browne, for Skippon, Cromwell, and for Fairfax,Wee have a well string'd Instrument at Cairfax,
And that if they doe but their Worke by halves,
The Parliament would Hang em up like Calves.
Postcript, or an old said saw of the Malignants.
Wise men Labour, Good men Grieve,Knaves invent, and Fooles believe,
Then helpe us Lord, and stand unto us,
Or Knaves and Fooles will quite undoe us.
Works of John Taylor the Water Poet not included in the folio volume of 1630 | ||