University of Virginia Library

Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the third Booke.

1 Yong Haywoods answere to my Lord of Warwicke.

One neere of kinne to Heywood by his birth,
And no lesse neere in name, and most in mirth,
Was once for his Religions sake committed,
Whose case a Noble Peere so lately pittied:
He sent to know what things with him were scant,
And offered frankely to supply his want.
Thankes to that Lord, said he, that will me good,
For I want all things sauing hay and wood.

2 To the great Ladies of the Court.

I haue beene told, most Noble courtly Dames,
That ye commend some of my Epigrams:
But yet I heare againe, which makes me pensiue,
Some of them are, to some of you offensiue.
Those that you like, I'le giue, and aske no guerdon,
So that you grant those you mislike, you pardon.
Both are the fruitlesse fruits of idle houres,
These for my pleasure reade, and those for yours.

3 Of a Lady that giues the checke.

Is't for a grace, or is 't for some disleeke,
Where other kisse with lip, you giue the cheeke?
Some note that for a pride in your behauiour:
But I should rather take it for a fauour.
For I to show my kindnesse, and my loue,
Would leaue both lip and cheek, to kisse your Gloue.
Now with the cause, to make you plain acquainted,
Your gloue's perfum'd, your lip & cheek are painted.

4 Of Balbus a Poet.

Balbus of Writers reck'ning vp a Rable,
Thinks their names are by him made honorable:
And not vouchsafing me to name at all,
He thinkes that he hath greeu'd me to the gall.
I galled? Simple foole! nor yet gulled,
To thinke I may thee pray for such a dull head.
Those that are guilty of defect, and blame,
Doe neede such testimonials of their fame.
Learne then, vntaught, learn then you enuious elues.
Books are not praised, that do not praise themselues.

5 To Leda.

In Verse, for want of Rime, I know not how,
I cald our Bathes the pilgrimage of Saints,
You Leda much the praise do disallow,
And thinke this touch your pure Religion taints.
Good Leda, be not angry, for God knowes,
Though I did write of Saints, I meant of shrowes.

6 To Sextus, an ill Reader.

That Epigram that last you did rehearse,
Was sharpe, and in the making, neat and tearse,
But thou doost read so harsh, point so peruerse,
It seemed now neither witty nor verse.
For shame poynt better, and pronounce it cleerer,
Or be no Reader, Sextus, be a Hearer.

7 Of Bathes cure vpon Marcus.

The fame of Bathe is great, and still endures,
That oft it worketh admirable cures.
The barren by their vertue haue conceiu'd,
The weake and sick, haue health & strength receiu'd:
And many Cripples that came thither carried,
Go sound frō thence, when they a while haue tarried.
But yet one cure on Marcus lately showne,
My Muse doth thinke most worthy to be known;
For, while he bathes with Gascoyne wines & Spanish,
Thereby old aches from his lymmes to banish,
Hunts after youthfull company, entycing
Them to the sports of bowling, carding, dycing:
His wantonnesse breeds want, his want enforces
Marcus, by one and one sell all his horses.
Lo, how the Bathe hath searcht his sicknes roote,
He can, nay more, he must goe thence afoote.

8 Of a Lady that sought remedy at the Bathe.

A lady that none name, nor blame none hath,
Came the last yeere with others to the Bathe:
Her person comely was, good was her feature,
In beauty, grace and speech, a louely creature.
Now as the Lady in the water staid,
A plaine man fell a talking with her maid,
That lean'd vpon the rayle, and askt the reason,
Why that faire Lady vs'd the Bathe, that season?
Whether 'twere lamenesse, or defect in hearing,
Or some more inward euill, not appearing?
No, said the Maid to him, beleeue it well,
That my faire Mistris sound is as a Bell.
But of her comming, this is true occasion,
An old Physician mou'd her by perswasion.
These Bathes haue power to strengthen that debility,
That doth in man or woman breed sterrilitie.
Tush, said the man, with plaine & short discourse,
Your Mistris might haue tane a better course.
Let her to Oxford, to the Vniuersitie,
Where yong Phisicians are, and such diuersitie
Of toward spirits that in all acts proceede,
Much fitter then the Bathe is for the deede.
No, no, that will not serue, the Maid replide,
For her, that Physike hath already tride.

9 To Sir Morris Barkly.

Your father gaue me once a Dormant warrant:
But sending at Saint Iames tide to the keeper,
My men came backe as from a sleeuelesse Arrant,
And in a boxe, I laid my warrant sleeper.
You Noble Sir, that are his heyre apparant,
Will giue henceforth, I hope, a waking Warrant.

10 Of Faustus the Fault-finder.

Of all my Verses, Faustus still complaines,
I writ them carelesly: and why forsooth?
Because, he saith, they goe so plaine and smooth.
It showes that I for them ne're beat my braines.
I, that mens errors neuer loue to sooth,
Said, they that say so, may be thought but noddies.
For sample marke, said I, your Mistris bodies,
That sit so square, and smooth down to her raines.
That, that fine waste, that wealth and wit doth waste,
Thinke you her Taylor wrought it vp in haste?
No: aske him, and heele say he tooke more paines
Then with old Ellens double-welted frock,
That sits like an old felt on a new block.
Who cannot write, ill iudge of Writers vaines.
The worke of Taylers hands, and Writers wits,
Was hardest wrought, when as it smoothest sits.

11 Of an ill Physician for the body, that became a worse Surgeon for the soule.

A certaine Mountebanke, or paltry Leach,
Finding his Physick furdred not his thrift,
Thought with himselfe to find some further drift.
And though the skill were farre aboue his reach,
He needs would proue a Priest, and falls to preach.
But patching Sermons with a sorry shift,
As needs they must that ere they learne will teach:
At last, some foes so neerely doe him sift,
And of such words and deeds did him appeach,
As from his Liuing quite they did him lift,
And of the Patron straight they begd the gift:
And so the Mountebanke did ouer-reach.
Who when he found he was pursu'd so swift,
Gaue place vnto so sharpe and fierce a breach:
Shutting vp all with this shrewd muttering speach,
Well, though, said he, my Liuing I haue lost,
Yet many a good mans life this losse shall cost.
A stander by, that would be thought officious,
Straight, as an heynous matter of complaint,
Doth with his speech the Iustices acquaint:
Alleaging, as it seem'd, indeed suspicious,
That to the State his meaning was pernitious.
The Leech thus touched with so shrewd a Taint,
Yet in his looke nor answer did, nor faint;
Protesting, that his mind was not malicious.
But if the course that he must take be vicious,
He flat affirmed it was curst constraint:
For, of my Liuing hauing lost possession,
I must, said he, turne to my first profession;
In which, I know too well, for want of skill,
My Medicines will many a man kill.

12 Of Sir Philip Sydney.

If that be true the latter Prouerbe sayes,
Laudari à laudatis is most praise;
Sydney, thy works in Fames bookes are enrold,
By Princes pennes, that haue thy works extold,
Whereby thy name shall dure to endlesse dayes.
But now, if rules of contrary should hold,
Then I, poore I, were drownd in deepe dispraise,
Whose works base Writers haue so much debased,
That Lynus dares pronounce them all defaced.

13 Of impudent Lynus.

Not any learning, Lynus, no, God knowes,
But thy brute boldnes made some to suppose,
That thou might'st haue been bred in Brazen-nose.
A murren on thy pate, 'twould doe thee grace,
So were thine head so arm'd in euery place,
A Steele scull, Copper nose, and Brazen face.

14 Against an vnthrifty Lynus.

Many men maruaile Lynus doth not thriue,
That had more trades then any man aliue;
As first, a Broker, then a Petty-fogger,
A Traueller, a Gamster, and a Cogger,
A Coyner, a Promoter, and a Bawde,
A Spy, a Practicer in euery fraude:
And missing thrift by these lewd trades and sinister,
He takes the best, yet proues the worst, a Minister.

15 Of Faustus.

I find in Faustus such an alteration,
He giues to Paulus wondrous commendation:
Is Paulus late to him waxt friendly? No.
But sure, poore Faustus faine would haue it so.

16 Of a deuout Usurer.

A merchant, hearing that great Preacher, Smith,
Preach against Vsury, that art of byting,
The Sermon done, embrac'd the man forth-with,
Vnto his bord most friendly him inuiting.
A friend of his, hoping some sweet aspersion
Of grace would moue him to some restitution,
Wist him, in token of his full Conuersion,
Release some Debters, held in Execution.
Foole, said he, thinke you Ile leaue my trade?
No: but I thinke this Preacher learn'd and painefull,
Because the more from it he doth perswade,
'Tis like to proue to me more sweet and gainefull.
Was euer Iew of Malta, or of Millain,
Then this most damned Iew, more Iewish villain?

17 Of a reformed Brother.

In studying Scriptures, hearing Sermons oft,
Thy mind is growne so plyable and soft,
That though none can attaine to true perfection,
Thy works come neere the words of their direction.
Thy counsell oft to fast, and euer pray,
Thou louest oft to feast, and euer play:
Backcloth and Cinders they aduise to vse,
Sack, Cloues, and Sugar, thou wouldst haue to chuse:
They wish our works, and life, should shine like light.
Thy workes and all thy life is passing light,
They bid vs follow still the Apostles lore,
Apostata's thou follow'st euermore.
They bid refresh the poore with Almes-deedes,
Thou rauish dost the poore with all misdeedes.
They promist ioyes eternall neuer wasting,
You merit noyes infernall euerlasting.

18 Of Sheepe turned Wolues.

VVhen hearts obdurate make of sin an habite
High frowning Nemesis was wont to send
Beares, Lions, Wolues, and Serpents, to this end,
To spoyle the coasts whereso good folke inhabite.
Now since this age, in habite and in act,
Excels the sinnes of euery former age,
No maruaile Nemesis in her iust rage,
Doth like, or greater punishment exact.
And for this cause, a cruell beast is sent,
Not only that deuoures and spoyles the people,
But spares not house, nor village, Church nor Steeple,
And makes poore widdowes mourn, Orphants lament.
You muse (perhaps) what beasts they be that keep
Such beastly rule as seld was seene before!
Tis neither Beare, nor Lyon, Bull, nor Bore:
But Beasts, then al these beasts, more harmeful shee
Loe then, the mystery from whence the name
Of Cotsold Lyons first to England came.

19 Of Lynus, borrowing.

When Lynus meets me, after salutations,
Courtsies, and complements, and gratulations,
He presseth me, euen to the third deniall.
To lend him twenty shillings, or a royall:
But of his purpose, of his curtsie sayling,
He goes behind my backe, cursing and rayling,
Foole, thy kind speeches cost not thee a penny,
And more foole I, if they should cost me any.

20 Of one Master Carelesse.

Where dwels Mr. Carelesse? Iesters haue no dwelling.
Where lies he? in his tongue by most mens telling.
Where bords he? there where feasts are foūd by smelling
Where bites he? all behind, with all men yelling.
Where bides the man? oh sir, I mist your spelling.
How I will read, yet well I doe not wot:
But if that I to him shall point his lot,
In Shot-ouer, at Dogs-head in the pot.
For in that signe his head oft ouer-shot.

21 Against Momus, in praise of his dogge Bungey.

Because a witty Writer of this time,
Doth make some mention in a pleasant rime,
Of Lepidus and of his famous dogge,
Thou Momus, that dost loue to scoffe and cogge,
Prat'st amongst base companions and giue'st out,
That vnto me herein, is meant aflout.
Hate makes thee blinde, Momus, I dare be sworne,
He meant to me his loue, to thee his scorne,
Put on thy enuious spectacles and see,
Whom doth he scorne therein, the dogge or mee:
The Dogge is grac't, compared with great Bankes,
Both beasts right famous, for their pretty prankes,
Although in this, I grant, the dogge was worse,
He onely fed my pleasure, not my purse:
Yet that same Dogge, I may say this and boast it,
He found my purse with gold when I haue lost it.
Now for my selfe, some fooles like thee may iudge,
That at the name of Lepidus I grudge,
No sure: so farre I thinke it from disgrace,
I wisht it cleare to me and to my race:
Lepus or Lepos, I in both haue part,
That in my name I beare, this in mine heart.
But, Momus, I perswade my selfe that no man,
Will deigne thee such a name, English or Roman,
Ile wage a But of Sack, the best in Bristo,
Who calles me Lepid, I will call him Tristo.

22 Of Faustus.

Now Faustus saith, long Epigrams are dull.
Lowt, Larks are lothsom whē ones panch is full
Yet whom the short doe please, the long not weary,
I wish them neuer weary, euer merry.

23 Of summum bonum.

VVhile I of summum bonum was disputing,
Propounding some positiōs, som confuting,
Old Sextus sayes that we were all deluded,
And that not one of vs aright concluded.
Knowledge, sayth he, is only true felicity,
Straightwayes a stranger askt me in simplicity,
Is Sextus learned? no quoth I, by this light,
Then without light, how iudgeth he so right?
He doth but ayme, as poore men vallew wealth,
The feeble value strength, the sicke man health.

24 To Mall, to comfort her for the losse of her Children.

When at the window thou thy doues art feeding,
Then thinke I shortly my Doue will be breeding,
Like will loue like, and so my liking like thee,
As I to doues in many things can like thee,
Both of you loue your lodgings dry and warme,
Both of you doe your neighbours little harme,
Both loue to feede vpon the firmest graine,
Both for your liuings take but little paine,
Both murmur kindly, both are often billing,
Yet both to Venus sports will seeme vnwilling;
Both doe delight to looke your selues in Glasses,
You both loue your own houses as it passes;
Both fruitfull are, but yet the Doue is wiser,
For, though she haue no friend that can aduise her,
She, patiently can take her young ones losse,
Thou, too impatiently doost beare such crosse.

25 Of the excuse of Symony.

Clerus , I heare, doth some excuse alledge
Of his, and other fellowes sacriledge:
As namely, that to some, against their wills,
That men are bound to take the lesse of ills;
That they had rather, no man need to doubt,
Take Liuings whole, then such as his without:
And therefore we must lay this haynous crime,
Not vnto them forsooth, but to the time.
Alas! a fault confest, were halfe amended,
But sinne is doubled that is thus defended.
I know, a right wise man sings and beleeues,
Where no Receiuers are, there be no Theeues.

26 In commendation of Master Lewkeners sixt description of Uenice. Dedicated to Lady Warwick. 1595.

Lo, here's describ'd, though but in little roome,
Faire Venice, like a Spouse in Neptunes armes;
For freedome, emulous to ancient Rome,
Famous for counsell much, and much for Armes:
Whose stories earst written with Tuscan quill,
Lay to our English wits, as halfe conceal'd,
Till Lewkners learned trauaile and his skill,
In well grac'd stile and phrase hath it reueald.
Venice, be proud, that thus augments thy fame;
England, be kind, enricht with such a Booke,
Both giue due honor to that noble Dame,
For whom this taske the Writer vnder-tooke.

27 Of one that gaue a Benefice.

A squire of good account, affirm'd he went,
A learned man a Liuing to present:
But yet that Squire, in this did breake no square,
He purposed thereof to keepe a share;
To set two sonnes to schoole, to make them Clarks,
He doth reserue each yeere an hundred markes.
Ah, said the Priest, this card is too too cooling,
I set your sonnes; nay, they set me to schooling.

28 Of Faustus fishing.

With siluer hooke Faustus for flesh was fishing,
But that game byting not vnto his wishing,
He said, he did (being thus shrewdly matcht)
Fish for a Roach, but had a Gudgen catcht.
Faustus, it seemes thy luck therein was great,
For sure the Gudgen is the better meat.
Now bayt againe, that game is set so sharpe,
That to that Gudgen, thou mayst catch a Carpe.

29 To his friend. Of his Booke of Aiax.

You muse to find in me such alteration,
That I, that maydenly to write was wont,
Would now set to a Booke so desperate front,
As I might scant defend by incitation.
My Muse that time did need a strong Purgation,
Late hauing tane some bruse by lewd reports;
And whē the Physick wrought, you know the fashion
Whereto a man in such a case resorts:
And so my Muse, with good decorum spent
On that base titled Booke, her excrement.

30 Of a Seller of Time.

VVhen of your Lordship I a Lease renew'd,
You promis'd me before we did conclude
To giue me time, namely, twice twelue months day,
For such a Fine as I agreed to pay.
I bade a hundred pound, 'twas worth no more,
Your Lordship set it higher by a score.
Now, since I haue by computation found,
That two yeeres day cost me this twenty pound.
Sir, pardon me, to be thus plainely told it,
Your Lordship gaue not two yeeres day, you sold it.

31 Of the Earle of Essex.

Great Essex, now of late incurred hath
His Mistris indignation and her wrath:
And that in him she chiefly dissalouth,
She sent him North, he bent him to the South:
Then what shall Essex do? Let him henceforth,
Bend all his wits, his power and courage North.

32 Of himselfe.

Because in this my selfe-contenting vaine,
To write so many Toyes I borrow leasure,
Friends sorrow, fearing I take too much paine,
Foes enuy, swearing, I take too much pleasure.
I smile at both, and wish, to ease their griefes,
That each with other would but change reliefes.

30 To Doctor Sherwood, of Bathe.

Because among some other idle glances,
I, of the Bathes say sometimes as it chances,
That this an onely place is in this age,
To which faire Ladies come in pilgrimage,
You feare such wanton gleekes, and ill report,
May stop great States that thither would resort.
No, neuer feare it, pray but for faire weather:
Such speech as this, will bring them faster thither.

31 Of Marcus courtesie.

When I some little purchase haue in hand,
Straight Marcus kindly offers me his band.
I tell him, and he takes it in great snuffe,
His is a Falling Band, I weare a Ruffe.
But if you maruaile I his helpe refuse,
And meane herein some meaner mans to vse:
The cause is this, I meane, within a weeke,
That he of me like courtesie will seeke.

32 Of one that had a blacke head, and a gray Beard.

Though many search, yet few the cause can finde
Why thy beard gray, thy head continues blacke
Some thinke thy Beard more subiect to the winde.
Some think that thou dost vse that new-found knack,
Excusable to such as haire doe lacke:
A quaint Gregorian to thy head to binde.
Some thinke that with a combe of drossie Lead,
Thy siluer locks doe turne to colour darke:
Some thinke 'tis but the nature of thy head:
But we thinke most of these haue mist the marke.
For this thinke we, that thinke we thinke aright,
Thy beard and yeeres are graue, thy head is light.

33 Against an old Lecher.

Since thy third carriage of the French infection,
Priapus hath in thee found no erection:
Yet eat'st thou Ringoes, and Potato Rootes,
And Caueare, but it little bootes.
Besides the beds-head a bottle lately found,
Of liquor that a quart cost twenty pound.
For shame, if not more grace, yet shew more wit,
Surcease, now sinne leaues thee, to follow it.
Some smile, I sigh, to see thy madnesse such,
That that withstands not, stands thee in so much.

34 To his wiues Mother, reprouing her vnconstancie.

Last yeere while at your house I hapt to tarry,
Of all your goods, you tooke an Inuentory:
Your Tapistry, your linnen, bedding, plate,
Your sheepe, your horse, your cattle you did rate:
And yet one moueable you did forget,
More moueable then this, therein to set.
Your wauering minde, I meane, which is so moueable,
That you for it, haue euer beene reproueable.

35 Of a Cuckold that had a chaste Wife.

When those Triumvers set that three mans song,
Which stablished in Rome a hellish Trinity,
That all the towne, and all the world did wrong,
Killing their friends, and kinne of their affinity,
By tripartite Indenture, parting Rome,
As if the world for them had wanted roome,
Plotyna wife of one of that same hundred,
Whom Anthony prescrib'd to lose their life,
For beauty much, for loue to be more wondred,
Su'd for his Spouse, and told she was his wife.
The Tyrant pleasant to see so faire a suter,
Doth kisse her, and imbrace her, and salute her.
Then makes, nay mocks, a loue too kinde, too cruell
She must, to saue her husband from proscription,
Grant him one night, her husbands chiefest Iewell:
And what he meant, he shewd by lewd description:
Vowing, except he might his pleasure haue,
No meanes would serue, her husbands life to saue.
Oh motion! louing thoughts, no thoughts, but thorns
Either he dies, whom she esteemes most dearely:
Or she her selfe subiect to thousand scornes.
Both feares doe touch a Noble Matron neerely.
Loe, yet an act, performed by this woman,
Worthy a woman, worthy more a Romane:
To show more then her selfe she lou'd her Spouse,
She yeelds her body to this execution.
Come, Tyrant, come, performe thy damned vowes,
Her single heart hath doubled thy pollution.
Thou pollute her? No, foole, thou art beguiled:
She in thy filthy lap lies vndefiled.
Honour of Matrons, of all wiues a mirror!
He sweare with thee, thy husband weares no horne:
Or if this act, conuince mine oath of error,
Twas a most precious one, an Vnicorne.
If ought I know by hearing or by reading,
This act Lucretias deed is farre exceeding.

36 Of the Lady that lookt well to her borders.

A lady of great Birth, great reputation,
Clothed in seemely, & most sumptuous fashion:
Wearing a border of rich Pearle and stone,
Esteemed at a thousand crownes alone,
To see a certaine Interlude, repaires,
Through a great prease, vp a darke paire of staires.
Her Page did beare a Torch that burnt but dimly.
Two cozening mates, seeing her deckt so trimly,
Did place themselues vpon the stayres to watch her,
And thus they laid their plot to cunny-catch her:
One should as 'twere by chance strike out the light;
While th'other that should stand beneath her, might
Attempt, (which modestie to suffer lothes)
Rudely to thrust his hands vnder her clothes.
That while her hands repeld such grosse disorders,
His mate might quickly slip away the borders.
Now though this act to her was most displeasant,
Yet being wise (as womens wits are present:)
Straight on her borders both her hands she cast,
And with all her force she held them fast.
Villaines, she cryde, you would my borders haue:
But I'le saue them tother it selfe can saue:
Thus, while the Page had got more store of light,
The coozening mates, for feare slipt out of sight.
Thus her good wit, their cunning ouer-matcht.
Were not these conycatchers conycatcht?

37 The Hermaphrodite.

When first my mother bore me in her wombe,
She went to make inquirie of the gods,
First of my birth, and after of my tombe.
All answerd true, yet all their words had ods.
Phœbus affirm'd, a Male childe should be borne:
Mars said it would be female, Iuno neither:
But I came forth, alas, to natures scorne,
Hermaphrodite, as much as both together.
Then for my death, Iuno foretold the sword:
Phœbus assign'd me drowning for my fate:
Mars threatned hanging, each perform'd their word,
As note how well prou'd true in seuerall rate.
A Tree fast by a brooke I needs would clime,
My sword flipt out, and while no heede I tooke,
My side fell on the point, and at that same time,
My foote in boughs, my head hang'd in the brooke:
That I thus borne a Male, a Female neither,
Dyde drown'd, & hang'd, & wounded all together.

38 Of a sicknesse grew with a Tobacco pipe.

Vnto a gentle Gentlewomans chamber,
Her Pedler came, her husband being thence,
To sell fine linnen, Lawnes and Muske and Amber.
She franke of fauours, sparing of expence,
So bargain'd with her, ere he parted thence,
That for ten Ells of Holland, fiue of Lawne,
To grant dishonest pleasures, she was drawne.
Next day the man repenting of his cost,
Did studie meanes, to get him resolution:
Or to be paid for that he there had lost,
And thus he puts his thought in execution:
He turnes to her, with settled resolution,
And in her husbands presence vnawares,
He asketh fifty shillings for his wares.
Her husband ignorant what cause had bred it,
My wife, said he, had you so spent your store,
You must with petty chapmen runne on credit?
Now for my Honors sake, doe so no more.
No Sir (quoth she) I meant it to restore.
I tooke it of him onely for a tryall,
And finde it too high prised for a Royall.
Thus neuer changing countenance, she doth rise
With outward silence, inward anger choking.
And going to her closet, she espies
Tobacco in a pype, yet newly smoking.
She takes the pype, her malice her prouoking,
And laps it in his linnen, comming backe,
And so the Pedler put it in his packe,
And packes away, and ioyes that with his wyle,
He had regayn'd the stuffe, yet gayn'd his pleasure.
But hauing walked scarcely halfe a mile,
His packe did smoke, and smell so out of measure,
That opening it vnto his great displeasure,
He found by that Tobacco pype too late,
The fiery force of feeble female hate.
And seeking then some remedy by lawes,
Vnto a neighbour Iustice he complaines:
But when the Iustice vnderstood the cause,
In her examination taking paines,
And found 'twas but a fetch of womens braines:
The cause dismist, he bids the man beware,
To deale with women that could burne his ware.

39 A good answere of a Gentlewoman to a Lawyer.

A vertuous Dame, that saw a Lawyer rome
Abroad, reprou'd his stay so long from home:
And said to him, that in his absence thence,
His wife might want her due beneuolence.
But he straight quit himselfe of such disgrace,
Answer'd it thus, with putting off a case.
One owes one hundred pounds, now tell me whether
Is best? To haue his paiment all together:
Or take it by a shilling, and a shilling,
Whereby the bagge should be the longer filling?
Sure, said the Dame, I grant 'twere little losse,
If one receiu'd such payments all in grosse.
Yet in your absence this may breede your sorrow,
To heare your wife for want might twelue pence borrow.

40 Of one that tooke thought for his wife.

No sooner Cynnas wife was dead and buried,
But that with mourning much and sorrows wearied,
Maid, a seruant of his wiues, he wedded,
And after hee had boorded her, and bedded.
And in her Mistris roome had fully plast her,
His wiues old seruant waxed his new master.

41 Sir Iohn Bauynsfords choyce of a man.

Rainsford , whose acts were many times outragious
Had speciall care, to haue his men couragious:
A certaine friend of his one day began,
Vnto his seruice to commend a man,
One well approued, he said, in many iarres,
Whereof in head armes, hands, remain'd the skarres,
The Knight the man, his markes and manners view'd,
And flat refusing him, did thus conclude:
This is no man for me, but I suppose,
He is a tall fellow that gaue him all these blowes.

42 Of Linus and his Mistris.

Chaste Linus, but as valiant as a Gander,
Came to me yet, in friendly sort as may be:
Lamenting that I rais'd on him a slander,
Namely, that he should keepe a gallant Lady.
Begge me (said I) if I proue such a babie,
To let my tongue, so false and idly wander.
Who sayes that you keepe her, lyes in her throate,
But she keepes you, that all the world may note.

43 In praise of a Lady and her Musike.

Vpon an Instrument of pleasing sound
A Lady playd More pleasing to the sight.
I being askt in which of these I found
Greatest content, my senses to delight?
Rauisht in both at once, as much as may be,
Said, Sweet was Musike, sweeter was the Lady.

44 Of Riding-rimes.

Faire Leda reads our Poetry sometimes,
But saith she cannot like our Ryding-rimes;
Affirming that the Cadens falleth sweeter,
Then as the Verse is plac'd between the Meeter.
Tell, Leda, leaue henceforth this quarrel-piking,
And sith that one between is to your liking,
You shall haue one betweene; yet some suppose,
Leda hath lou'd both Riding-rime, and Prose.

45 Of deuout Parents and children.

A husband and a vvife oft disagreeing,
And either weary of th'other, being
In choller great, either deuoutly prayes
To God, that he will shorten th'others dayes:
But more deuout then both, their sonne and heire
Praies God that he wil grant thē both their pray'r.

46 In commendation of two valiant Scottish Knights, that defended their King from the Earle Gowry: Sir Thomas Erskin, Sir Iohn Ramsey.

The Persian Monarch, who by faithfull spyall
Was safe preseru'd frō slaues intended slaughter,
By him whose Cousin and adopted daughter
Vnwares he did endow with scepter royall;
When reading in his bed a good while after,
He found in true records that seruice loyall,
Then with most gratefull mind to make requitall,
And to increase Mardoches great renowne,
Vpon his head (such was their vse that season)
He caused to be set his royall Crowne.
But greater should be your reward in reason;
He but reueal'd, but you reueng'd a Treason.

47 In prayse of the Countesse of Darby, married to the Lord Chauncellor.

This noble Countesse liued many yeeres
With Darby, one of Englands greatest Peeres;
Fruitfull and faire, and of so cleare a name,
That all this Region marueld at her fame.
But this braue Peere, extinct by hastned Fate,
She stayd (ah too too long) in widdowes state:
And in that state, tooke so sweet State vpon her,
All eares, eyes, tongues, heard, saw, & told her honor:
Yet finding this a saying full of veritie,
Tis hard to haue a Patent of prosperitie,
Shee found her wisest way and safe to deale,
Was to consort with him that keepes the Seale.

48 Of Cosmus, that will keepe a good house hereafter.

Old Cosmus to his friends thus out doth giue,
After awhile, he like a Lord will liue.
After awhile, hele end all troublous suites,
After awhile, retaine some men of qualitie,
After awhile, of riches reape the fruits,
After awhile, keepe house in some formality,
After awhile, finish his beautious building,
After awhile, leaue off his busie buying:
Yet all the while he liues but like a hilding,
His head growes gray with fresh vexations toyling.
Well, Cosmus, I beleeue your heire doth smile,
To thinke what you will doe after awhile:
For sure, the Prouerbe is more true then ciuill,
Blest is the sonne whose Sire goes to the Diuell.

49 Of neate Galla.

The pride of Galla now is growne so great,
She seekes to be surnam'd Galla the neat,
But who their merits shall, and manners scan,
May thinke the terme is due to her good man.
Ask you, Which way? Methinks your wits are dull:
My Shoomakes resolue you can at full,
Neats Leather is both Oxe-hide, Cow, and Bull.

50 Of reuersing an error.

I did you wrong, at least you did suppose,
For taxing certaine faults of yours in Prose:
But now I haue the same in Ryme reherst,
My error, nay your error is reuerst.

51 Of good Sauce.

I went to suppe with Cinna tother night,
And to say true (for giue the diuell his right)
Though scant of meat we could a morsell get,
Yet there with store of passing sauce we met.
You aske what sauce, where pittance was so small?
This, Is not hunger the best sauce of all?

52 Of a slaunder.

On Lesbya, Lynus raysed had a slander,
For which whē as she thought to take an actiō.
Yet by request she tooke this satisfaction,
That being drunke, his tongue did idly wander:
Came this from Viderit vtilitas?
Or else from this, In Vino veritas?

53 Of a Lady early vp.

Lesbya , that wonted was to sleepe till noone,
This other morning stirring was at fiue:
What did she meane, thinke you, to rise so soone?
I doubt we shall not haue her long aliue.
Yes: neuer feare it, there is no such danger,
It seemes vnto her course you be a stranger:
For why, a dauncing, banquetting, and play,
And at Carowsing many a costly cup,
She sate the night before, vntill twas day,
And by that meane, you found her early vp.
Oh, was it so? why then the case is cleere,
That she was early vp, and ne're the neere.