University of Virginia Library

A Satyre against swearing, equivocation, mentall reservation, and detestable dissimulation.

To pretend, and the contrary to intend,
With th'World began, and with the World shall end:
The Divell himselfe (who first made man a sinner)
Of this dissembling Art, was the beginner.
Since when, his Sons, and Schollars, Hypocrites,
Accursed Antichristian Jesuites,
Christ kissing trayterous bast Iscariothites,
Soule foundred, soules confounding Hereticks,
All cheverell conscienc'd cockbrain'd Schismaticks.
With many nicknam'd Romane Catholicks;
And every Heresie, and Schisme, or Sect,
All diffring, and all boast to be th'Elect:
Pretending all, true zeale to preach and pray,
Intending all the clean contrary way.
Amazed, and amated much I am
To see Great Brittain turn'd to Amsterdam;
Six years agone we had of Sex fourescore,
Which are encreast now to one hundred more:
A Book that's call'd the Gangrean, printed late,
Their Authors and Opinions doth repeat:
Ninescore Religions that book sheweth cleer,
Lord, what a Harvest hath the Devill made heer:
Those all pretend Religion, but indeed
Most of them scarcely know their Christian Creed.
The Devill can turn himselfe t'an Angell bright,
Seem to pretend no wrong, yet do no right:
He did pretend to make our Parents great,
As is their Maker, but by that defeat
He did intend, like to himselfe to make 'em
Fiends (or fiends fellows) that God might forsake 'em.
Cain did pretend with Abell, like a friend
And brother, when he murther did intend:
When Absolon seem'd to pretend no ill
To Amnon, he intended him to kill;
He did pretend Religions good desire,
When he his Fathers Throne intends t'aspire:
Achitophell pretended Truth and Reason,
When he intended foolishnesse and treason:
Saul did pretend great love to David, but
He did intend how he his throat might cut:
Joab pretended to be Abners friend,
When (with a stab) he brought him to his end:
The wicked Jewes (with noyse) Hosanna cri'd
To him, they few dayes after crucifi'd:
And Judas sayd, haile Master, when he meant
Foule treason, to betray the Innocent:
Thus in all Ages, since the Worlds Creation,
Both Devils and men have us'd Equivocation:
For as a cunning Fencer, looking down,
Aymes at the foot, but means to crack the crown
So squint eyd, true, false friendship, seems to see,
But ne're intends, what it pretends to bee:
We're too much leavend, like the Pharisees,
And to all goodnesse meere Antipodes:
He's counted the best man, that best can prate,
Though's deeds and words be illegitimate.
If our good words with good works could agree,
The world no better people had then we:
Yet too too many this bad time affords
That cannot give to God or man good words;
Nor for themselves, or of themselves can they
Speak one good word in any thing they say.
Their speech to God (or of God) is most base,
To curse or sweare are th'only garbs of grace:
Their prayers unto God are, God dam, forsake 'em,
Renounce, confound, consume, the Devill take 'em;
Sink, rot their soules, for evermore renounce 'em,
Consume them, or in hell to powder pounce 'em:
These, with some prayers like these, they night and da
With great devotion fervently do pray.
To God they speak thus, but when they speak of him,
'Tis either to blaspheam, deride, or scoffe him;
With cursed tongues, and teeth, to rend and teare
His dreadfull name, when they forsweare and sweare.
Too oft these wretched Imps these oaths afford,
By God, Christ Jesus, by the living Lord,
By God Almighty, by th'eternall God,
Thus under foot his glorious name is trod
By godlesse Villains, who will brag and boast
That He's the bravest man that sweareth most.
God is no God to them, they do reject him,
Like skild Anatomists they will dissect him;
They rip him up with Oaths from foot to head,
His wounds, blood, heart, nailes, body, soule, and bread,
His blessed and soule-saving life, his death,
These cursed oaths are belch'd with th'odious breath
Of Hels dear hel-hounds, who to practise these,
They lie and study on their beds of ease.
To flourish their discourse, their brains are framing
New coyned oaths, to grace pots, pipes, and gaming.
Sure these good fellows have some friends in hell,
And with them they desire to be and dwell;
Or ese they have a great desire to see
Hels Kingdome, and what things the Devils bee.
And as men that would travell, would attaine
Some knowledge in the tongues of France, or Spaine,
Th'Italian, or the High, Low, spacious Dutch,
The Russe, Shavonian, Latine, Greeke, or such
As is the language where they mean to go,
Each Traveller these tongues would gladly know,
That when they came to any forraine Land,
They might the peoples speeches understand:
So swearers will to hell a voyage make,
And therefore they most studious pains do take
To learn hels language, to blaspheam and sweare,
That all their friends may understand them there:
These men in their mad furies do suppose
That Hel's a Kingdome where all pleasure grows;
And that Elyzium is a pleasant place,
Where soules immortall dance the wild-goose chase:
Their stupid brains the Devill hath so possest,
That Hel's a place of wealth, joy, peace, and rest;
That Heaven's a fiction, and no place of pleasure,
That to be damn'd is everlasting treasure:
This is the cause they scorne to aske salvation,
And pray God dam 'em, and beg for damnation.
'Tis wonder to see mad men beat their brains
To gain perdition, and eternall pains:
Of God they (like the foole) do think there's none,
Or that he is a weake and simple one;
One that regards not what men do below,
Or sees not, knows not, how the world doth go;
This is the swearers faith, his mirth, his game,
Else he durst ne're blaspeam th'Almighties name.
Pluto's and asse, and Belzebub's a foole,
'And Lucifer himselfe may go to schoole;
For all the Conclave of the Devils in Hell
Cannot a cursed swearer parallell:
Sometimes of Christianity they'l prate,
Yet live a life, abhord and reprobate.
'Tis sayd, that charity at home begins,
And that love hids a multitude of sins;
Subjection to high Powers we are enjoynd,
Obedience unto all of every kind,
Of these rare vertues, swearers have no share,
To no body they charitable are;
I truely think he loves himselfe not well,
That prayes God dam him, and doth wish for Hell:
Want of selfe love and charity do prove
He beares to no man charity or love.
If to himselfe his love no better be,
His charity and love is not for me:
Can they do service to an earthly King,
That oaths and curses against God dare fling?
No, those as dare the heavenly power blaspheam
Are no good servants for power lesse supream:
The wrath of God is hot, his anger burns,
And for vain swearing, the whole Land now mourns;
This Nation, and the people at division,
No peace but by the sanguine swords decision.
The Land's o'respread with leprosie of swearing,
And Gods great patience weary of forbearing;
For which his plagues of slaughtering sword we find,
And 'tis much fear'd famine's not far behind:
Yet swearers to be Christians do pretend,
Though (worse then Atheists) they their lives do spend;
That Pagans, Heathens, Infidels, Jewes, Turkes,
Sweare lesse, and use better words and workes.
Time was, that Justice did the sword unsheath,
That the blaspheamer strait was ston'd to death;
And in this wicked wretched Generation,
Swearing is counted manly reputation,
Or recreation, or the Gentile grace
Of speeches fine Embrodery, like gold lace
Upon a saddle, which a sow must weare,
So it becomes a Gentleman to sweare:
The Devill is bad, but sure the swearer's worse,
For I ne're heard the Devill did sweare or curse.
What execrable creatures are they then,
But Hell-hounds, and the Devils Journy-men?
Himselfe doth scorn to do a worke so base,
His basest Rascals do supply that place:
How can these men plead Christianity,
When as they want common humanity?
Mad fooles, who every day do beg and crave
Damnation, which they would be loth to have.
The sacred Text, the Pulpit, and the Presse
Have prest these faults hard to mens consciences;
Yet all that ever hath been spoke or pend,
Hath made the swearer not a whit amend:
These bitter lines of mine, may worke perhaps
To Muzzle or bung up some swearers chaps:
God and good men I'm sure are on my side,
And I (in all that's written) have not lyde:
Some do pretend a peace, and much do prattle,
Yet do intend to bloodshed, and to battle:
But let them never claime a Christian name,
Whose trade and pleasure is in blood and flame
Of their dear Country, and rip, rend, and tear
Their mothers womb, which did such bastards bear.
These sons of Hittites, and of Amorites,
God do to them, as to the Midianites.

Psal. 8 3.

Make them as Jabin, and as Sisera dy'd
At Endors field, where Kishons Brook doth slyd.
As they became as dung, so let them bee
That to a lawfull peace will not agree.
The Peace of God, grant us, thou God of Peace,
Let us cease sin, thou wilt our sorrows cease;
Let's frame our lives according to thy word,
And let no sword be drawn, but Justice sword:
To which end, thou good God of consolation,
Send blessed Peace to this afflicted Nation.