To Miss —,
NO words, Madam, can express the
warmth of my gratitude for your
generous intentions in my favor, tho' my
ideas of probity will not allow me to take
advantage of them.
To rob a gentleman, by whom I have
been treated with the utmost hospitality,
not only of his whole fortune, but of, what
is infinitely more valuable, a beloved and
amiable daughter, is an action so utterly
inconsistent with those sentiments of honor
which I have always cultivated, as even
your perfections cannot tempt me to be
guilty of. I must therefore, however unwillingly,
absolutely decline the happiness
you have had the goodness to permit me
to hope for; and beg leave to subscribe
myself,
Madam,
with the utmost gratitude
and most lively esteem,
your most obliged and
devoted servant,
H. Mandeville.
I ought perhaps to be more explicit in my
refusal of her; but I cannot bring myself to
shock her sensibility, by an appearance of
total indifference. Surely this is sufficiently
clear, and as much as can be said by a man
sensible of, and grateful for, so infinite an
obligation.
You will smile when I own that, in the
midst of my concern for this Lady, I feel a
secret, and, I fear, an ungenerous, pleasure,
in sacrifising her to Lady Julia's friendship,
tho' the latter will never be sensible
of the sacrifise.
Yes, my friend, every idea of an establishment
in the world, however remote or
however advantageous, dies away before
the joy of being esteemed by her, and at
liberty to cultivate that esteem; determined
against marriage, I have no wish, no hope,
but that of being for ever unconnected, for
ever blest in her conversation, for ever allowed,
uninterrupted, unrestrained by nearer
ties, to hear that enchanting voice, to
swear on that snowy hand eternal amity, to
listen to the unreserved sentiments of the
most beautiful mind in the creation, uttered
with the melody of angels. Had I worlds,
I would give them to inspire her with the
same wishes!
H. Mandeville.
