University of Virginia Library

The Fourth ACT.

SCENE. I.

A Hall.
Enter Antonio and Feliciana.
Fel.
I never was so Toung-worried in my Life,
Thou art more troublesome then a Woman-Wit
And altogether as Impertinent.

Ant.
To see how Pride corrupts manners, rather then
Confess your Frailty, you'l be rude; But do stifle
Your passion till it choak you, do—till like a
Secret in a Fool it itches, so to be reveal'd you
May scratch your self to death for vexation.

Fel.
Sweet Soul, how it fancies it self; I'le call for a
Cestern of water, where like Amorous Narcissus
It shall Court the shadow of its own Beauties.

Ant.
If you'l Act Diana, I may see some of your Ladyships:

Fel.
Wou'd I were any thing but what I am;

Ant.
I'le make worse of you presently if yon please:

Fel.
Art thou a Man?

Ant.
You had best try:

Fel.
No, thou hast the Appearance of many, but not the Soul
Of one, thou art a Compound of all Nations, without
The perfections of any; thou art neither well-
Fashion'd, Well-made, nor well-bred, but a most
Compleat bungle of Nature; Thou hast the
Insolence of a Spaniard, the heavyness of a
Dutch-Man, the haughtiness of a German, the dullness of
An Irish-Man, and the Impudence of an English-Man.

Ant.
I am glad on't with all my heart, for thou hast
All the Pride of an Italian, the Gayety of a
French-woman, the management of a Venetian,
And the Spirit of a Welsh-woman.

Fel.
I'le stay no longer;

Ant.
You shall:

Fel.
You will not force me.

Ant.
No, but I'le keep you here

Fel.
And I shan't go,

Ant.
No:

Fel.
No:

Ant.
No—you shan't, you shan't, faith; not
That I am fond of your Company, but since I
Have no other, I will not be left alone:

Fel.

You had as good, for I'le not loose another
word on thee:

Ant.
So much the better; when the Thunder's expell'd
The Sky may grow clear, and I like a Landskip
better then a Storm.

Fel.
Your Importunity's intollerable.

Ant.
Then I have my Ends—and I'le be as diligent
In perplexing thee as I would in my attendance
On a great Man, who to ease himself of an
Assiduous Suiter, bestows something on him to
Keep him out of the way, and so is tyred into a kindness.

Fel.

I could find in my heart to marry thee to be
rid of thee.

Ant.
Faith do, 'tis as good a Receipt for Separation,
As borrowing Money is to break Friendship;
'Tis a Trade among the Grandees all over
Europe, A man of Quality would no more
Be seen with his Wife after he has treated her
Relations and secur'd her Portion, then a Mistriss
Would admit of the Visits of her Cully when she
had spent his Estate, or a Gamester endure
The Conversation of his Buble after he had
won all.

Fel.
How proud you are of these Villanies and
With what pleasure you relate 'em:

Ant.
Therefore I would have the women be wiser and
Take the Man they like without that sure
Physick of Matrimony, it kecks in the stomach,
And works in each Faculty, and purges out the
Very desire we Wed for: Love's like a Bottle
When freely propos'd, to depart when you
Please, or as long as you please, but when once
Is Constrain'd it Curdles i'th Blood, it palls every
Tale; Each Glass is a Potion, and poisons the
Kind Conversation you met for.

Fel.
What can'st thou see in that impudent face
Of thine, to imagine any she-thing would trust
Thee without substantial Security?

Ant.
Faith nothing, but that Impudence you speak of:
Assurances is half in half with a woman.
If we're modest when we woo you, you're
Afraid we'le be bashfull when we have you.
If the Spirit be meek, you Conjecture the Flesh
Must be feeble, and a modest Lawyer can
Never have good Practice.

Fel.
Nor an Impudent one a good Reputation, he
May baffle a Cause, but never maintain one.

Ant.
Come, you're conceited;

Fel.
I am sorry I invade your Property:

Ant.
Your Sex is all Vanity:

Fel.
And yours all deceit, 'tis the practice of
Your Souls to seduce us into Faith, you're
Never well but when you're belov'd, nor easy
When you are so, Change is your delight,
And Constancy your Scandall; you Curse
Every man that's falser then your selves,
And are Potent in nothing but perjury.

Ant.
Well I'le have done for the present, and like
An Ingenious Preacher leave off whilst my
Sermon is hot in your memory, and not
Doze your Attention with dwelling too long on
The Subject, therefore hoping you may edify by
My Present Doctrine, I'le finish my text at
Our next meeting—Farewell.

Fel.
With all my heart:

Ant.
You'l Cry when I'm gone:

Fel.
'Twill be for fear of your return then:

Ant.
Well, I can have the Liberty of Serenading,
And expect not to sleep when I wake.

Fel.
Wou'd thou wert gone once.

Ant.
I am departing:

Fel.
Peace be with you:

Ant.
I will so maul thee when I have thee.

Fel.
No, I shall sleep then I suppose without Serenading:

Ant.
May all thy thoughts thy Soul towards mans Flesh bend.

[Exit.
Fel.
And may you prove as good as you pretend,
Well, I do like this Fellow,
And Love him I'm afraid,
But I am sensible he has as good thoughts of me:
What Fools are women to hide their inclination,
When they are satisfyed the man's their own:
But 'tis a Policy our Mothers teach us
Persuading 'twill inflame the Lover more,
When Every Tedious hour delays our bliss,
And makes us keep what most we wish were his.

[Exit.

SCENE. II.

The Backside of the City, near a Church.
Enter Silvio and Sancho.
Sil.
Either we have out-staid our time,
Or Darkness Creeps too hastily upon us,
Canst tell the hour, Sancho?

San.
It should be towards supper-time by the
Wambling Chimes of my Carkass, pox of this Love,
It starves the whole Family, and because your
Honour can dyet with Camelions, you
Think in manners we ought not to fare better.

Sil.
Art thou not asham'd of thy Gluttony?

San.
No, but I am of my Abstinence, this is fasting
Without doing Heaven any service; never
Did Love Monopolize like yours: Starving
Honour I have heard of, but this Effeminate
Punctilio is a disgrace to your Sex:
Nothing but sighing, and thinking, and walking
Discontentedly in Fields, as if the blood of a
Murder lay on your Conscience.

Sil.
Prethee hold thy idle Tongue:

San.
Would I had wherewithall to divert it otherways;
I am indebted to my stomach 3 meals, and can't
Get one to be bayl for me, good Sir think
Upon some means to pay something down
To stop his mouth a little, for I have Confess'd
A Judgment to hunger, and famine will
Serve an Execution on me.

Sil.
If thou mindst thy wife when thou hast one,
As much as thou dost thy belly, she'l have a good time on't.

San.
I'm sure If I don't mind that, she'l have an Ill
Time on't; you know no body now adays take
Houses with bare walls, wenscoat me well with
Beef, and it may recommend me to a good Tenent.

[Enter four Bravo's.]
Bra.

It must be he, for this is the time and place we were directed
to observe:

[Clock stricks nine]
Sil.
Strikes not this nine, Sancho?

San.
Yes sure it does:

Sil.
I'm right in my Appointment then.

Bra.
May I be so in mine, If this fail,
we must all fall on him

[Fires a Pistol but misses.
Sil.
Ha! art hurt Sancho?

San.
Not that I know of;

Sil.
Assist thy Master then:

San.
Against any thing but the Devill:

1 Bra.
Fall on:

[They fight and at last the Bravo's retire.
Sil.
Oh villains, this is Carlos's work:

San.
They give ground Sir.

Enter Carlos and Guzman as the Bravo's are retiring, and Joyns with 'em.
Carl.

Oh Cowardly Dogs! but think not Silvio thou
shalt escape me:

Sil.

'Tis like thee base and treacherous Carlos.

As Silvio and Sancto give ground
Enter Antonio and Joyns 'Em.
Ant.

Ha giving ground! for the weaker side, like
a true Champion.

They Fight and Guzman falls.
Guz.
So I am satisfyed.

San.
There's a rising-blow for you:

[Stabs at him.
Guz.
Dogs—

At last Carlos falls and the Bravos all run.
Guz.
Help, murder, murder:

Fran.
above.
Ha! what noyse is this, and just before my door?

Ant.
Who are you Sir, and how is it with you?

Sil.
I am a Stranger Sir; but slightly hurt I think;
I have only time to thank your Generosity; If
There's no murder done I'le find you out, and
Study to return this happy rescue:

Ant.
I'le wait you till you're out of danger.

Sil.
By no means Sir, you are not known, and may
Be safe, I am; this mischief has been
hatching too some time; therefore I
Beg you would Euquire no more; If
[Crys of Murder within.
I do well, I certainly will seek you,
If not I'le ever love your memory.

Carl.
Help Pedro; Sphorso, I shall bleed to Death:

Fran.
above.
Ha! Is not that my Sons voice? Lights there:
Murder, oh my Child, Lights, Rogues, murder.

Ant.
Shift for your self then; for
[Retires from above
The hounds are near us.

Sil.
Sancho

San.
Your shaddow Sir:

[Exeunt severally.
Guz.
I'm maul'd like a forlorn hope:

Carl,
Oh!

Guz.
Don Carlos!

Carl.
Who's that Guzman? art thou hurt too?

Guz.
Like Master, like man, at present, I am
Stuck as if I were to be Larded:

Enter Francisco Servants with Lights.
Fran.
What are you? and why this out-cry?

Guz.
I'm in Labour Sir, and want to be delivered.

Fran.
Guzman—my Son too wounded and on the
Earth; oh! speak, who did it? what,
Not a word—oh! speak, how is it with thee?

Carl.
My Soul is like a Lamp on its departing,
My Blood the oyl that fed it is quite spent,
And nature Struggles for its last pale glimps.

Fran.
Oh horrid villany, get Doctors, Slaves, and Surgions,
Summon a College of Pulse-fumblers, and
Lint-Scrapers, propose rewards to shew
Their utmost Art; sly slaves—in gently, villains,
Gently with him, look to your Fellow-servant.

1 Servant.
Alas poor Guzman.

[They carry off Carlos.
Guz.
None of your pitty, but lend me your help,
They have miss'd my heart, I think, and that's all,
I am slash'd like grill'd mutton; oh for some
Conger-Eels to stop these Leapings; Softly Rogues,
Softly, I shall come to my Journeys end soon Enough.

[They lead him off.
A noise within of pursue this way.
Enter Silvio and Sancho.
Sil.
What Shall we do? we run mazes sure and
Come to the End where we begun; ha! here's a
Garden-wall; by your leave who ever you
belong to, If he be noble he will protect me:
Follow me Sancho.

[Climbs the wall
San.
I warrant you Sir, I have been
Us'd to rob orchards—what's the matter now?
I cannot mount it, and have hopt over higher
in my time; I believe the Devill's at my arse,
And thinking I am Climbing towards Heav'n,
Tugg's me back as if I were out of my way:
Up Gundy or be stuck with Soledo's,
[noise still
Till thou lookst like a Porcupine and shoots
Thy Quills Backwards—

[Gets over and severall run Cross

SCENE. III.

The Inside of the Garden.
Enter Dorothea and Farmosa.
Dor.
Surely thou wilt be late:

Far.
Oh fear not, Madam, your true Lover will
Out-wait an Angler, and thinks not his
Time ill-spent, If he catches a fish at last,

Dor.
No more delays, but hast:

Far.
I'le be with him in less then a tickling time.

As she's going off Sancho runs against her, and they both fall.
Far.
Murther, Theeves, Theeves:

Dorothea Shreiks, and as she's running off is met by Silvio who Catches her in his arms.
Sil.
Dorothea!

Dor.
Silvio!

Sil.
The same and thine for ever;

Far.
Sancho, what art thou? a mole, hast got no eyes?

San.
No, but I want the strength of one to heave this
Earth up—

[he lifts her up
Dor.
How got you in?

Sil.
Pursu'd by villains I leapt the wall
For Sanctuary.

Dor.
What mean you?

Sil.
As I was waiting for my guide to approach thee,
Four Bravo's set on me, one fir'd at me, but mist;
Streight they all came on me, I had the good fortune to
Receive 'em well; nay they were giving ground:
When Carlos Roar'd, think not thou shalt escape,
And seconded their attempt.

Dor.
Oh Heav'ns!

Sil.
My advantage quickly lessen'd, and I had perish'd
But for the kind relief of one I knew not, I think
some fell; who with their Crys allarm'd the neighbour-hood;
I got in here hoping to miss their fury,
And chance has guided me to what I long'd for:

Dor.
Let us retire and think upon some means how
To Secure thee, Oh my Silvio, 'tis what I dreaded:
But by my Love I will partake thy fate
Let Stars be as malicious as they please.

Sil.
Sure all must be propitious in the End,
Or Heaven's Partiall to the most deserving.

Dor.
Oh I shake!
My Soul as if it gave me warning sickens,
And Sighs out, we must never meet again.

Sil.
Let's never part then, and defy the Omen;
Thus fortify'd by Love we'le dare the foe,
Till our ill Stars grow weary of the Siege,
Or at the general Assault we'le stand
When their dire Influence is ready drawn,
'Gainst the vast breach of all our miseries,
And where Oppression's thickest fall together.

Dor.
No, let us Study how to live together.
I have reveal'd the secret to my Father,
All thoughts of Reconcilement with your Rivall
Are quite discarded; he seems enclin'd to
What I have propos'd—nay, I've more to tell
Thee; If the description I have heard don't Err,
Thou hast a Brother here, one Don Antonio, Son
To Don Michael Frederick of Peru.

Sil.
Antonio.

Dor.
Go in, I'le tell thee all:

Sil.
I wait it with Impatience:

Dor.
Oh Silvio, to loose thee now,
When all my hopes were in such perfect health,
They seem'd insur'd against all Accidents,
'Tis like a Chymist whose unwearied Toyle
With eager diligence long time had search'd,
Through every curiosity of Nature,
To bring his mighty project to perfection;
And when the wish'd for Art he had attain'd,
Dyed in its finishing Operation: away
Farmosa, stay you here, If any disturbance
Should approach our Walls, give notice of it.

[Exit Sil. & Dor.
San.
I suppose I must come up
With the baggage, and may halt with your Ladyship:

Far.

A likely fellow this, how long have you lived with your Master,
friend?

San.
Ever since he has lived with me, he never
Forsook me, nor will I ever discharge him.

Far.
A pleasant Fellow, what are you?

San.
His Portmanteau, I carry his Equipage:

Far.
I mean, what Country-man are you?

San.
A Resident of chance:

Far.
What's that?

San.
A Courtier, a Gam'ster, a Pimp, a Vallet,
Or any thing that all Countries, Religions, or
Customs are alike to:

Far.
A Savoury Fellow, and rellishes of Wit
Are all women too as well as Countrys,
Religions, and Customs, alike to you?

San.
All of this side fifty:

Far.
Then there's hopes for me, for I want a year
On't: If I could marry this Rogue and redeem
My Virginity now, 'twould do well; I have a
Pretty good sum of money which I have scrap'd
Together in Service; and mine is not the first
Aside.
Crack'd Reputation has been put off that way:
Besides that Villain Guzman grows weary
Of me, and will never be brought to buy that
Out-right which he has had the use of so
Often for nothing.

San.
[Aside
[Sings.

Far.
[Sings.

Saa.
Good, she comes—Most admirably perform'd—
Let me salute the Orifice of your Melody:

[kisses her.
Far.
Far short of yours Sir, pray be ingenious, and
Tell me in what Climate you stole this great
Accomplishment?

San.
In England.

Far.
Were you born there?

San.
Stark naked:

Far.
Waggish Brittain:

San.
Let me once more adore that heav'nly voice:

[kisses
Far.
Beshrew me but your Endearments are very
Warm: If a virgin should be good-natur'd
And like you, you Could not be constant.

San.
As pride to Authority, or first Love to its appointments.

Far.
If I should throw my self away upon thee,
Would you really, truly, sincerely, and faithfully
Serve me?

San.
Zealously: I'le be fonder of thee then the
Spirituall Court of an Ill neighbour.

Far.
We'l go in and talk more on't.

San.
Agreed and make more on't too if I can:

Far.
If he has heard any thing of me, and Guzman,
I shall be puzled for a denyall—I'm resolv'd;
I'le forswear it and protest my honesty and
Innocency, nay, I have a good mentall
Reservation for it:
For tho' by Guzman's Love I was betray'd,
I'le swear for thee I am a Reall Maid.

[Exeunt.

SCENE IV.

A Hall.
Enter Biancho, Neice, and women, and Pedro.
Ped.
Nay prithee Child:

Bia.
Away, and give me Liberty to vent my Griefs,
I know you not, you are all my Enemies;
Why do ye preach up patience for my woes,
Yet Bar the Remedy that would procure it?

Ped.
What's the matter now?

Nei.
Why she has heard of Carlos's misfortune,
And nothing can appease her:

Ped.
Why Biancha, thou shalt see Don Carlos,
I'le carry thee to him:

Bia.
No, 'tis too late:

Ped.
He's hurt, but not destroy'd, he will recover:

Bia.
'Tis Equally to me, Dye or Revive,
If he recovers, Dorothea has him,
If not I cannot;
For should I follow him to the other world,
And he retains the Passion which he fell for;
I in Elizium shall neglected pass.
The wretched pitty of each happy pair.

Ped.
No, 'twill be better, the match is broke,
Thy Rivall loves another, and when he's sensible
What you endure, I'm sure his Soul will
Readily Embrace you.

Bia.
What, must I tell him that I Love him then?
No, let my feaver dry me first to Ashes,
If Heaven deprives me of my Virgin-Love:
Oh! mark me with its figure on my Soul,
That by the Token you may know hereafter
What here I wanted, and present him there.

Ped.
Wilt thou not hear me?

Bia.
You would not me when I entreated harden:
Oh heart-hard Stubborn heart break or forget
Thy Passion.

Ped.
Dost thou desire to see thy Father dead?

Bia.
Father, what Father?—Fathers love their Children,
Indulge their tender tempers, fond their humours,
And when they are just, comply with their desires;
Mine unregarded, heard me sue and sigh,
Nay, like a common beggar past me by,
As if entreating were a Trade I practic'd.

Ped.
Neice, do thou solicit for me, friends all
I beseech ye.

[They shake their heads.
Bia.
Well 'twon't be long e're I shall go abroad,
And walk in Paradice with my dear Love;
A Terras-walk we'le have above the rest,
Which shall be sprinkled o're each morn with Pearl,
And bruised by Rowling Stones of Diamonds,
Drawn by two Angells, Lovely as himself,
Whilst wondring Saints shall listen to our Songs
And learn from us how to be truly happy.

Ped.
Heav'n guard your Sences:

Bia.
[Sings.

Ped.
Follow her all, Come Neice—

[Exit.
[Exeunt all but Neice.
Neice.
So this I hope will do
'Twas rarely Acted,
If she can keep it up the Man's her own,
Oh Children bred by Nature to deceiving,
And Silly Parents cheated by beleiving;
When I have any, if a Man will take me,
As 'twould be hard if they should all forsake me:
Girles, I especially would watch their waters,
For Mothers by themselves may guess their Daughters.