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The London-Spy Compleat In Eighteen Parts

By the Author of the Trip to Jamaica [i.e. Edward Ward]
Ward, Edward (1667-1731)

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THE London-Spy.
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PART I.
  
A Song against Musick.
  
A Song by a Musician against Poetry.
  
[Madam how great and good your Vertues are]
  
[Two lively Figures in one piece you've shown]
  
The Madmans Flight.
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[Part II.]
  
[I was got by an Honest Poor Man]
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[Part IV.]
  
SONG.
  
[May Rats and Mice]
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[Part V.]
  
[Who can such Blessings, when they're found resign?]
  
[May the Cockroach and Moth]
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[Part VI.]
  
[Bullies, like Dunghill-Cocks, will strut and Crow]
  
A Character of a Quack.
  
On Bridewel.
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[Part VII.]
  
On White-Fryars.
  
[As Mariners with hopes their Anchors weigh]
  
[Sure none like Man, will their own Kind annoy]
  
[How Vain is Youth? How Ripe to be Undone]
  
[Unhappy VVretch, by Chance and Bounty Fed]
  
[Could Youth those early Hours to Study bend]
  
[Fie! You great Looby John]
  
['Tis a sad Rendezvouz of the Wicked'st of Wretches]
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PART VIII.
  
[Woman (when Good) the best of Saints]
  
[Sure Art and Nature, no where else can show]
  
[To a Coblers Aul, or Butchers Knife]
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[Part IX.]
  
[Here Persons who for Places Wait]
  
[Great were thy Wrongs, thy Patience still as great]
  
[Fine Lace or Linnen, Sir]
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[Part X.]
  
A Letter from a LAWYER in Town, to a New Married OFFICER in the Country.
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[Part XII.]
  
[To speak but the Truth of my Honest Friend Ned]
  
[If any shall say want of Manners or Sense]
  
[The Bulky Cits March'd after in a Throng]
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PART XIII.
  
[Gods People sure are once again run Mad]
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PART XIV.
  
In Praise of PUNCH.
  
[What sundry Projects the Ingenious find]
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[Part XV.]
  
The Character of a Common Victualler.
  
Of a Cunning-Man.
  
Informing Constables, and other Informers
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[Part XVI.]
  
Of a Master of a Vessel.
  
[When Bacchus once the Priest subdues]
  
[Pride, Beauty, Prattle, Leachery and Conceit]
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[Part XVII.]
  
The Character of a Banker.
  
[Bless the good Ladies and good Food]
  
[Our hearty Thanks we humbly Pay]
  
The Character of a Gossip.
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PART XVIII.
  
To the Pious Memory of the most Subline and Accurate Mr. John Dryden.
  
[Bred up in th'Fields near Lincolns-Inn]
  
[Little their Learning, less their Sence]
  
[When Conjurers their Purses draw]

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130

A Character of a Quack.

A shame to Art, to Learning, and to Sence;
A Foe to Vertue, Friend to Impudence;
Wanting in Natures Gifts and Heaven's Grace,
An Object Scandalous to Human Race;
A Spurious Breed by some Jack-Adams got;
Born of some Common Monstrous God-knows-what:
Into the World no Woman sure could bring
So vile a Birth, such an Unmanlike thing.
Train'd from his Cradle up in Vices School,
To Tumble, Dance the Rope, and Play the Fool.
Thus Learn'd he stroles with some Illit'rate Quack,
Till by long Travels he acquires the Knack,
To make the sweepings of a Drugsters shop,
Into some unknown Universal slop:
On which some senseless Title be bestows,
Tho' what is in't, nor Buy'r or Seller knows.
Then Lazy grown, he doth his Booth forsake,
Quitting the Rope and Hoop, and so turns Quack.
Thus by base means to Live, does worse pursue;
And Gulls the Poor of Life and Money too.
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