University of Virginia Library

The sixt Chapter, of the English Trochaick verse.

The first Epigramme. Lockly spits apace, the rhewme he cals it

Lockly spits apace, the rhewme he cals it,
But no drop (though often urgd) he straineth
From his thirstie jawes; yet all the morning
And all day he spits, in ev'ry corner;
At his meales he spits, at ev'ry meeting;
At the barre he spits before the Fathers;
In the Court he spits before the Graces;
In the Church he spits, thus all prophaning
With that rude disease, that empty spitting:
Yet no cost he spares, he sees the Doctors,
Keepes a strickt diet, precisely useth
Drinks and bathes drying, yet all prevailes not.
'Tis not China (Lockly), Salsa Guacum,
Nor dry Sassafras can helpe, or ease thee;
'Tis no humor hurts, it is thy humor.

The second Epigramme. Cease, fond wretch, to love, so oft deluded

Cease, fond wretch, to love, so oft deluded,
Still made ritch with hopes, still unrelieved.
Now fly her delaies; she that debateth
Feeles not true desire; he that, deferred,
Others times attends, his owne betrayeth:
Learne t'affect thy selfe, thy cheekes deformed
With pale care revive by timely pleasure,
Or with skarlet heate them, or by paintings
Make thee lovely; for such arte she useth
Whome in vayne so long thy folly loved.

The third Epigramme. Kate can fancy only berdles husbands

Kate can fancy only berdles husbands,
Thats the cause she shakes off ev'ry suter,
Thats the cause she lives so stale a virgin,
For, before her heart can heate her answer,
Her smooth youths she finds all hugely berded.

The fourth Epigramme. All in sattin Oteny will be suted

All in sattin Oteny will be suted,
Beaten sattin (as by chaunce he cals it);
Oteny sure will have the bastinado.

The fift Epigramme. Tosts as snakes or as the mortall Henbane

Tosts as snakes or as the mortall Henbane
Hunks detests when huffcap ale he tipples,
Yet the bread he graunts the fumes abateth:
Therefore apt in ale, true, and he graunts it;
But it drinks up ale, that Hunks detesteth.

The sixt Epigramme. What though Harry braggs, let him be noble

What though Harry braggs, let him be noble;
Noble Harry hath not halfe a noble.

The seaventh Epigramme. Phoebe all the rights Elisa claymeth

Phoebe all the rights Elisa claymeth,
Mighty rivall, in this only diff'ring
That shees only true, thou only fayned.

The eight Epigramme. Barnzy stiffly vowes that hees no Cuckold

Barnzy stiffly vowes that hees no Cuckold,
Yet the vulgar ev'rywhere salutes him
With strange signes of hornes, from ev'ry corner;
Wheresoere he commes, a sundry Cucco
Still frequents his eares; yet hees no Cuccold.
But this Barnzy knowes that his Matilda,
Skorning him, with Harvy playes the wanton.
Knowes it? nay desires it, and by prayers
Dayly begs of heav'n, that it for ever
May stand firme for him; yet hees no Cuccold.
And tis true, for Harvy keeps Matilda,
Fosters Barnzy, and relieves his houshold,
Buyes the Cradle, and begets the children,
Payes the Nurces, ev'ry charge defraying,
And thus truly playes Matildas husband:
So that Barnzy now becomes a cypher,
And himselfe th'adultrer of Matilda.
Mock not him with hornes, the case is alterd;
Harvy beares the wrong, he proves the Cuccold.

The ninth Epigramme. Buffe loves fat vians, fat ale, fat all things

Buffe loves fat vians, fat ale, fat all things,
Keepes fat whores, fat offices, yet all men
Him fat only wish to feast the gallous.

The tenth Epigramme. Smith, by sute divorst, the knowne adultres

Smith, by sute divorst, the knowne adultres
Freshly weds againe; what ayles the mad-cap
By this fury? euen so theeves by frailty
Of their hemp reserv'd, againe the dismall
Tree embrace, againe the fatall halter.

The eleventh Epigramme. His late losse the Wiveless Higs in order

His late losse the Wiveless Higs in order
Ev'rywere bewailes to friends, to strangers;
Tels them how by night a yongster armed
Saught his Wife (as hand in hand he held her)
With drawne sword to force; she cryed; he mainely
Roring ran for ayde, but (ah) returning
Fled was with the prize the beawty-forcer,
Whome in vaine he seeks, he threats, he followes.
Chang'd is Hellen, Hellen hugs the stranger,
Safe as Paris in the Greeke triumphing.
Therewith his reports to teares he turneth,
Peirst through with the lovely Dames remembrance;
Straight he sighes, he raves, his haire he teareth,
Forcing pitty still by fresh lamenting.
Cease, unworthy, worthy of thy fortunes,
Thou that couldst so faire a prize deliver,
For feare unregarded, undefended,
Hadst no heart I thinke, I know no liver.

The twelfth Epigramme. Why droopst thou, Trefeild?

Why droopst thou, Trefeild? Will Hurst the Banker
Make dice of thy bones? By heav'n he can not.
Can not? whats the reason? Ile declare it:
Th'ar all growne so pockie, and so rotten.