The complete poetical works of Thomas Hood Edited, with notes by Walter Jerrold |
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A CHARITY SERMON |
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 | The complete poetical works of Thomas Hood |  |
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A CHARITY SERMON
‘“I would have walked many a mile to have communed with you; and, believe me, I will shortly pay thee another visit; but my friends, I fancy, wonder at my stay, so let me have the money immediately.” Trulliber then put on a stern look, and cried out, “Thou dost not intend to rob me?”
‘“I would have thee know, friend,” addressing himself to Adams, “I shall not learn my duty from such as thee. I know what charity is, better than to give to vagabonds.”’
—Joseph Andrews.
I'm an extremely charitable man—no collar and long hair, though a little carroty;
Demure, half-inclined to the unknown tongues, but I never gain'd anything by Charity—
I got a little boy into the Foundling, but his unfortunate mother was traced and baited,
And the overseers found her out—and she found me out—and the child was affiliated.
Demure, half-inclined to the unknown tongues, but I never gain'd anything by Charity—
I got a little boy into the Foundling, but his unfortunate mother was traced and baited,
And the overseers found her out—and she found me out—and the child was affiliated.
Oh, Charity will come home to roost—
Like curses and chickens is Charity.
Like curses and chickens is Charity.
I once, near Whitehall's very old wall, when ballads danc'd over the whole of it,
Put a bad five-shilling piece into a beggar's hat, but the old hat had got a hole in it;
And a little boy caught it in his little hat, and an officer's eye seem'd to care for it,
As my bad crown-piece went through his bad crownpiece, and they took me up to Queen's Square for it.
Put a bad five-shilling piece into a beggar's hat, but the old hat had got a hole in it;
And a little boy caught it in his little hat, and an officer's eye seem'd to care for it,
As my bad crown-piece went through his bad crownpiece, and they took me up to Queen's Square for it.
Oh, Charity, &c.
I let my very old (condemn'd) old house to a man, at a rent that was shockingly low,
So I found a roof for his ten motherless babes—all defunct and fatherless now;
For the plaguey one-sided party-wall fell in, so did the roof, on son and daughter,
And twelve jurymen sat on eleven bodies, and brought in a very personal verdict of Manslaughter.
So I found a roof for his ten motherless babes—all defunct and fatherless now;
For the plaguey one-sided party-wall fell in, so did the roof, on son and daughter,
And twelve jurymen sat on eleven bodies, and brought in a very personal verdict of Manslaughter.
Oh, Charity, &c.
I picked up a young well-dress'd gentleman, who had fallen in a fit in St. Martin's Court,
And charitably offer'd to see him home,—for charity always seem'd to be my forte,
And I've had presents for seeing fallen gentlemen home, but this was a very unlucky job—
Do you know, he got my watch—my purse—and my handkerchief—for it was one of the swell mob.
And charitably offer'd to see him home,—for charity always seem'd to be my forte,
And I've had presents for seeing fallen gentlemen home, but this was a very unlucky job—
Do you know, he got my watch—my purse—and my handkerchief—for it was one of the swell mob.
Oh, Charity, &c.
460
Being four miles from Town, I stopt a horse that had run away with a man, when it seem'd that they must be dash'd to pieces,
Though several kind people were following him with all their might—but such following a horse his speed increases;
I held the horse while he went to recruit his strength; and I meant to ride home, of course;
But the crowd came up and took me up—for it turned out the man had run away with the horse.
Though several kind people were following him with all their might—but such following a horse his speed increases;
I held the horse while he went to recruit his strength; and I meant to ride home, of course;
But the crowd came up and took me up—for it turned out the man had run away with the horse.
Oh, Charity, &c.
I watch'd last month all the drovers and drivers about the suburbs, for it's a positive fact,
That I think the utmost penalty ought always to be enforc'd against everybody under Mr. Martin's Act;
But I couldn't catch one hit over the horns, or over the shins, or on the ears, or over the head;
And I caught a rheumatism from early wet hours, and got five weeks of ten swell'd fingers in bed.
That I think the utmost penalty ought always to be enforc'd against everybody under Mr. Martin's Act;
But I couldn't catch one hit over the horns, or over the shins, or on the ears, or over the head;
And I caught a rheumatism from early wet hours, and got five weeks of ten swell'd fingers in bed.
Oh, Charity, &c.
Well, I've utterly done with Charity, though I us'd so to preach about its finest fount;
Charity may do for some that are more lucky, but I can't turn it to any account—
It goes so the very reverse way—even if one chirrups it up with a dust of piety;
That henceforth let it be understood, I take my name entirely out of the List of the Subscribers to the Humane Society.
Charity may do for some that are more lucky, but I can't turn it to any account—
It goes so the very reverse way—even if one chirrups it up with a dust of piety;
That henceforth let it be understood, I take my name entirely out of the List of the Subscribers to the Humane Society.
Oh, Charity, &c.
| The complete poetical works of Thomas Hood | |