Canidia, or the Witches :: :: University of Virginia Library

The Noble Clergy, we Revere 'um.
Hate 'um, and dare not come near 'um.
They exorcise us all away,
But the Base Clergy us obey.
We're welcom to the Parlour and Conclave,
Some Clergy their Familars have:
But we love them ever after,
As the Devil loves Holy-Water.

Statesmen and Judges often use us,
State-Presbyterians ne're refuse us.
With Jesuits we're well acquainted,
Help Monks and Friars to be Sainted.
At Junto's and Caballs, 'tis Rare
To Plead, and to have the Chair.
At close-Committee Adjutators,
Who but we are Moderators?

Some burn us, Swim us, and Scratch us;
But the Devil can ne're out-match us.

They put us to Interrogatives;
But we plead our Prerogatives,
Behind the Curtain, to great Sages,
For Whispering we get good Wages.
'Tis worth the while to Course with Bitches;
But more to hunt with Blood-hound Witches.

Plots and Contrivances are by our means,
So Statesmen bring about their Ends.
When all Shifts fail, nimble and neat,
A Cunning-Man must do the Feat.
The Artists please to jeer and flout us,
Can as well be hang'd as be without us.
We take the Politicians Pay,
And by our Help they get the Day.

In Ships, Shops, Schools, in Camp and Court,
Every hour we make brave Sport.
Philosophers are pleas'd to jeer us,
Though for Skill they could ne're come near us.
What Family, Kingdom or State
Do we not steer and regulate?
From the Peasant to the Clerk,
Like Mad-Dogs we Bite and Bark.

In all Rogueries we have a hand
To Lye, Bribe, Conquer and Command.
The World's infatuated by us,
What we lack none dare deny us.
We govern the rebellious Rout,
And turn the lawful Rulers out.
By the means of Rogues and Whores,
Thrust all Honesty out of Doors.

We bewitch all the World, we turn
All things into Confusion.
None are follow'd, or ador'd like us,
They dare as well be hang'd as strike us.
From Forty to Sixty our Fair hath lasted,
And we hope 'twill ne're be blasted.
Then we revell'd in open Round;
Still we work closely Under-ground.

Then we were old Hags and Jades;
But now we are young dainty Blades:
You'd little think how we strut it,
In Scarlets, how we drink and glut it.
Fast, Preach, Pray, Plead and Fight,
With Dark-Lanthorns play least in Sight.
States Ecclesiastick, Warlike, Civil,
Can ne're be without Witch or Devil.

You cannot tell who to trust,
Be cheated, or cheat you must.
Yet w'have the bravest Tongues and Faces,
That e're adorn'd the mighty Graces.
None have out-done us i'th' Black-Art,
The World's our Stage to act our Part.
Rare Sciences, of fast and loose, laugh and cry,
Kiss and betray, live and dye.

Any thing, Nothing, what you wish
You shall meet with in your Dish.
Cheat, and be cheated, rise and fall,
Get and lose, play the Devil and all.
A Golden Tongue, a Syren Song,
The Noble and the Rascal Throng.
A mad Age, and a sad Age, high and low,
You shall know neither Friend nor Foe.

You shall not trust your self, I'le say it,
You can neither stop nor stay it.
Up and down, White and Black, Out and In,
Smite the Rib and chuck the Chin:
Dissemble, threaten all you can,
Trust neither Devil nor Man.
Unheard of Rogues, a Devil take 'um,
They were as bad, as bad could make 'um.

At home, or abroad, to and fro,
Up and down, about we go.
Climb a Ladder, stand or reel,
Lye down, or dance upon a Wheel.
All mad, in Dumps, or merry Mood,
Seeming Angels, never good.
Hell's an Ass to th' World, as 'tis now,
You can't know a Horse from a Cow.

Saints are Rogues, and Rogues are Saints;
All Commendations, or all Complaints.
Never better, never worser Trading,
All things are growing, and all things are fading.
Every one's a Wit, or a Sot;
For, or against some Plot:
Disoblige all, or else Fee 'um,
But trust to your self where e're you see 'um.

Never softer, never harder Times,
Never Fortune rang more Chimes:
Never more nimble Turns and Ranges,
The Bells play all variety of Changes.