University of Virginia Library

Spray Or Pay Method
Adopted In Dorms

By George Wilkinson
Cavalier Daily Staff Writer

I walk slowly into my room in
one of the dorms in the area
commonly called the "slums" of
UVa. My roommate, sitting on his
bed was engrossed in something
happening on the floor.

"Bet ya a six-pack the big
cockroach beats the little one to
the refrigerator," he says
matter-of-factly.

Quickly observing the situation,
and knowing from recent
experience that small roaches are
quicker than big ones, I tell him
"You're on" AND SIT DOWN TO
WATCH MY INVESTMENT.

Raid!

Just as I thought, the smaller
one soon pulls ahead by several
lengths. Dave matters something
about "Damn bugs" and throws a
can of Raid in the direction of the
race. My roach is completely wiped
out.

"What ya do that for," I yell
painfully. "Anyway, you're
supposed to spray that stuff, not
throw it."

"I know, I know," he explains
while picking up a book, "but there
wasn't any more left in the can.
Anyway, that's the third can we've
been through this week. And since
it doesn't seem to stop 'em by
spraying it, I decided to adopt
another approach. I sure canned
your cockroach."

Pay Phones

"Oh jeez, let me outs here," I
say grimacing. "Man, that was bad.
I'm going to make a phone call.
Gimme a dime, please."

"I don't have a dime."

"Damn, why can't we have a
free phone like the girls have?"

"How do I know. Go ask Ralph.
And also ask him why we can't
paint our room. This place looks
like hell."

"Oh, he won't let us paint it
because he's afraid we'll strain
ourselves picking up the brush and
than sue the University."

"I thought that was the reason
they didn't give us the great new
beds they promised."

"No, they didn't want to give us
new beds because they thought it
would produce too great a
temptation to cohabitate."

Dave mutters something
unprintable and proceeds to plug in
a new high-intensity reading lamp.

"Don't do that! Remember,
they say we're already using too
much electricity."

"Oh, go make your phone call."

"I can't, no dime."

"Well go transfer to one of the
new dorms. They have free
phones."

"They have problems too. One
of the girls said they have holes in
the wall through which their
hamster escapes. And the stoppers
in their sinks don't work."

"BIG DEAL!! At least their
showers have well-regulated water.
Here I either freeze my ass or boil."

"Well, Dave, you just have to
wake up at 6:00 in the morning like
me. Then the water's fine."