 | The Ingoldsby Legends |  |
286
MORAL.
All middle-aged Gentlemen let me advise,
If you're married, and have not got very good eyes,
Don't go poking about after blue-bottle flies!—
If you've spectacles, don't have a tortoiseshell rim,
And don't go near the water,—unless you can swim!
If you're married, and have not got very good eyes,
Don't go poking about after blue-bottle flies!—
If you've spectacles, don't have a tortoiseshell rim,
And don't go near the water,—unless you can swim!
Married Ladies, especially such as are fair,
Tall, and slim, I would next recommend to beware
How, on losing one spouse, they give way to despair;
But let them reflect, “There are fish, and no doubt on't—
As good in the river as ever came out on't!”
Tall, and slim, I would next recommend to beware
How, on losing one spouse, they give way to despair;
But let them reflect, “There are fish, and no doubt on't—
As good in the river as ever came out on't!”
Should they light on a spouse who is given to roaming
In solitude—raison de plus, in the “gloaming,”—
Let them have a fix'd time for said spouse to come home in!
And if, when “last dinner-bell”'s rung, he is late,
To insure better manners in future—Don't wait!—
In solitude—raison de plus, in the “gloaming,”—
Let them have a fix'd time for said spouse to come home in!
And if, when “last dinner-bell”'s rung, he is late,
To insure better manners in future—Don't wait!—
If of husband or children they chance to be fond,
Have a stout iron-wire fence put all round the pond!
Have a stout iron-wire fence put all round the pond!
One more piece of advice, and I close my appeals—
That is—if you chance to be partial to eels,
Then—Crede experto—trust one who has tried—
Have them spitch-cock'd,—or stew'd—they're too oily when fried!
That is—if you chance to be partial to eels,
Then—Crede experto—trust one who has tried—
Have them spitch-cock'd,—or stew'd—they're too oily when fried!
| The Ingoldsby Legends | |