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337

BERTRAM TO THE MOST NOBLE AND BEAUTIFUL LADY GERALDINE

I

Lady! this night for the first time my eyes,
My bodily eyes, drank in with sateless thirst
Thy noblest beauty; as when desert skies
By the full moon late-risen are immerst
In pure and solemn splendour. Not surprise
But breathless awe filled all my soul when first
You floated vision-strange before its sight;
O long-lost Star! O well-known unknown Light!

II

Amid the murmurous hum and dusty glare,
With which those restless throngs confused the room,
I moved and gazed, with little thought or care,
So that the hours slipt smoothly through Life's loom,
Weaving gay vesture for an old despair;
When the unearthly sense of some great doom
Approaching near possessed me, and I thrilled
With tremors too mysterious to be stilled.
338

III

Rapt by that revelation from the crowd,
My eyes were lifted,—to behold your face!
While, like a silver-burning summer-cloud,
Slow-soothed by dreamful airs through azure space,
You floated past me, glorious, tranquil, proud;
Borne gliding on with such serenest grace
By slow sweet music, that it seemed to be
Voicing thine own soul's inward harmony.

IV

Forthwith I knew Thee, whom I had not sought
Since Youth high-hoping found no outward meed,
And, ignorant that high hope its own bliss wrought,
Left Faith to die, and nursed the bitter weed
Which blooms in poisonous gauds of heartless thought.
O sole fulfilment of my heart's great need!
Vision revealing how and whence it pined!
Blessed redeemer of my sinking mind!

V

Thy Presence was its own most adequate
Proclaimer, full-credentialled, to my soul:
An instant, and I recognized my Fate,
Yielding with solemn joy to its control.
339

I have been wandering in this intricate
And gloomy maze of Life, without a goal,
Baffled and hopeless; but my future way
Lies straight and clear through life and death for aye.

VI

And more:—as moonlight up some sombre stream
May flow in silence, a refulgent river,
Enchanting the dull line with gracious beam
Till far back toward its fount outleaps the quiver
Of free waves joyous, living in the gleam;
Even so your Apparition did deliver
My long-dead years from blank Lethean night,
And all lived forth in your celestial light.

VII

All glorious dreams that beautified and blest
My fervent youth were realised in Thee;
Young longings, nobler far in their unrest
Than later moods of scornful stagnancy,
Again could heave and agitate my breast;
My mind, long world-filled, was empowered to see
That Life has sacred mysteries unrevealed,
And grander trusts than Earth and Time can yield.
340

VIII

And all this Past was thus redeemed from death,
Through its pure prescience of Thyself alone;
Shining in splendours of unclouded faith,
Breathing in pants of love. Yes, I had known
Thee well in hours long faded; when your breath
Thrilled all my frame, and when your dark eyes shone
With holy passion and exalted bliss,
Throughout my spirit tranced in ecstasies.

IX

Yet it was not the eyes, large, solemn, deep—
The several features of the noble face;
Nor wealth of hair, flung down in long-curved sweep,
Flashing like rippling sunbeams, whose embrace
Doth in so warm a glow of beauty steep
That harmony severe of stately grace
Which moulds thy form; nor was it that full form
In its serene perfection breathing warm:—

X

Not in all these can I find all the spell
Which thrilled such instant recognition, wild
Yet doubtless as an holy oracle,
Throughout my being torpid and defiled.
341

Why should I fear this joyous truth to tell,
Which Love has murmured to his last-born child?—
Unaided by the mean of bodily sense,
Souls can reciprocate deep influence.

XI

O music, flow for ever soft and sweet
Through subtler mazes, that in timeless dream
I may for ever watch her dove-quick feet
Circling in light adown thy shadowy stream,
And calm-robed form float, swaying to the beat
Of the long languid pulses; while outgleam
Her face and round arms radiant through the whirls,
Grand neck, white shoulders, queenly golden curls.

XII

Desire, by its own wild intensity,
Was baffled,—I stood trembling, panting, pale;
And every eager step approaching Thee
Sank back: how spirits nearing Heaven must quail!
Till some strong inspiration carried me,
Half-dumb, to gasp my pleading,—and prevail;
To sue, and stand dance-ready at thy side,
Intoxicate with love and bliss and pride.
342

XIII

Oh, glory of the dance sublimed to this!
Oh pure white arm electric that embraced
Ethereal-lightly my unbounded bliss!
Oh, let me die on but another taste
Of that warm breath ambrosial, and the kiss
Of those whirl-wanton ringlets; interlaced,
Quick frame with frame borne on; my lips the while
Within a neck-bend of that heavenly smile!

XIV

Did music measure that delirious dancing?
I heard it not; I know not what strange sway
Kept us among those spectral figures, glancing
As its poor harmonies might rule their way.
I was o'erfilled with music more entrancing,
But wild, how wild! I could have fled astray,
Footing the buoyant æther's moonlight sea,
For ever and for ever linked with Thee.

XV

Most pure and beautiful! what stayed my lips,
When parched with thirsting near such ænomel,
From clinging unto thine for bee-like sips?
From pasturing o'er thy brow's white asphodel?
343

Sealing thine eyes in passion's dear eclipse,
With pressure on the full blue-veinèd swell,
And thrillings o'er the silken lashes fine,
Mid interdraughts of their deep violet wine?

XVI

Yet, O Belovèd, though thus love-distraught,
Blame not my spirit; for I felt You there
So holy-pure, that self-condemning thought
Blighted my passionate worship with despair:
Half shrank I from each touch, although it brought
Such rapture with it as I scarce could bear,
As if from harp strings ready tuned above,
To vibrate forth seraphic bliss and love.

XVII

I felt You as a flower, my hand I knew
With touch the lightest-tender still must harm;
Or gem so lucenter than morning dew,
That my least breath must sully its pure charm:
The cold white moon cresting night's cloudless blue
Above dark moorland, far from town and farm,
Or few wan stars dim-steadfast in dim skies,
Are not so dowered with awe-fraught sanctities.
344

XVIII

Ay, while I thought: Could I seize one caress
But one grand grape from this full-fruited vine;
Grasp the rich ripeness, press and press and press,
Till drunk with its last drain of glorious wine;
Staking the Future's infinite barrenness
'Gainst one transcendent moment's bliss divine!—
Even then, my wildered spirit knelt subdued
Beneath thy pure calm noble maidenhood.

XIX

Subdued by Thee,—and yet exalted more!
Calmed by perfection of resolve and pride!
The future was drear-barren as a shore
Wave-wasted by an ever wintry tide:
But now! Shall he, whose sanest hopes may soar
To win the empire's Empress for his bride,
Purloin a jewel from her crownèd brow?
Be kingly, heart! the throne awaits us now.

XX

Thou wert the farther from me, as so near;
Veiled awful, at a distance dim and great,
In that supernal spiritual sphere
To which Love lifts, that he may isolate
345

The truest lovers from their union here:
Hence their eternal Bridal, consecrate
By perfect reverence; for the Loved must be
An ever-new Delight and Mystery.

XXI

Did aught of these tempestuous agitations
In irrepressible gust or lightning-burst
Perturb thy heaven of starry contemplations
In depths of moonlit quietude immerst?
I long for answer; but no meditations
Can realise those memories, all disperst
In such wild seething mists of joy, hope, fear:—
Oh, that the question now could reach thine ear!

XXII

But when I saw the end must come indeed,
When laggard pairs were failing from the dance,
Surely my curbless thoughts found words to plead:—
“Forgive, sweet Maiden!—Time and Circumstance
Are lightning-swift, and I must match their speed.
Believe me, that I speak in heavenly trance
Diviner truth than souls can reach or prove
When uninspired by seraph-sighted Love.
346

XXIII

The Vision sways me; I must speak or die:
Life of my life! I see, I know, I feel;
The inspiration cannot err or lie;
Passion doth its own truth with pure fire seal;—
God from the depths of all Eternity
Created us One Soul, in woe or weal,
In life and death, in union or apart:
Whisper but ‘Yea,’ assuring my sure heart!

XXIV

“You tremble pallid, with the same new birth
Of Love, the pure eternal Seraph-child!
Flooding with fulness all our deadly dearth,
Is it not strange and fierce and rapture-wild?
I have dim memory that in yon poor earth
Where late I grovelled hopeless and defiled
A mortal thing called Love with doubt and pain
Is reared: scarce one his sole true Bride can gain.

XXV

“But time is very brief:—Shall we away
Into the great calm Night besprinkled o'er
With silver throbbing stars? My Dearest, say!
And yet, so rich in years is Evermore
347

That hurry were mean thrift: we well can stay,
Who long have stayed, some few brief time-lives more;
Being so certain from this hour sublime
Of coming Union, perfect, beyond Time.”

XXVI

Were such words borne exultant on my breath?
Memory, which cannot oversoar the deep
That yawns between two lives in sombre death,
Nor even that 'twixt wakefulness and sleep,
Brings no sure tidings: yet, unmoved in faith,
Though sick with failing from that glorious steep
Whence all the Promised Land was seen so clear,
I plod Time's desert with more hope than fear.

XXVII

Yes, though I now feel faint and spiritless,—
For when such fire of rapture burns down low
We shivering cower, unmanned by chill distress,
Over the embers while the bleak winds blow;
With dismal dread that such rich blessedness
Will never more within our cold hearts glow;
Till in the bitter dark we almost deem
That vanished glory a delusive dream:—
348

XXVIII

Yet have I even now deep confidence
In those great oracles of solemn bliss
Uttered so clearly to my spirit's sense
By heavenly Love who pure and perfect is;
Yet must I cherish them with reverence
Though scornful voices from our world-abyss
Proclaim the madness of both Him and them:
This staff sustains,—may fruit yet crown its stem!

XXIX

Perchance we never more till death shall meet:
You dwell on far high places of the earth,
'Midst well-befitting pomp; beneath your feet
I labour humbly, not assured from dearth,—
The hard-won bread itself most bitter-sweet.
Were I your peer in wealth and worldly birth
You still might justly scorn my love and me;
Yet none the less must I live loving Thee.

XXX

It is my fate; your soul hath conquered mine;
And I must be your slave and glory in
The bondage whether cruel or benign.
Still let me cherish hopes even here to win
349

By strenuous toil the far-off Prize divine;
And feed on visions, not so shadowy-thin,
Of gaining You beneath a nobler sun
Should I in this life's battle be undone.

XXXI

And with my passionate love for evermore
Is blended pure and reverent gratitude;
Nor can I this full sacrifice deplore
Though You should scorn me whom You have subdued,
Or know not what devotion I outpour.
Ah, from this timeless night what boundless good
Your Presence hath bestowed on me!—no less
That I am stung with my unworthiness.

XXXII

Dark winter ruled a desert of drear frost;
Spring's breath stole softly o'er its ice and snow;
All life revives which had so long been lost,
Trees green, flowers bloom, birds sing, and fountains flow;
The realm is laughing wide from coast to coast.
Dear May of its redemption! while we know
It seemed unworthy of thy Spring-love tender,
That love yet fits it for full Summer splendour.
350

XXXIII

Henceforth my life shall not unearnest prove;
It hath an ardent aim, a glorious goal:
Numb Faith re-lives; You from your sphere above
Have planted and must nourish in my soul
That priceless blessing, pure and fervent love,
O'er which no thought of self can have control.
If with these boons come ever-longing pain,
It shall be welcomed for the infinite gain.

XXXIV

Be pain unnoticed in a doom like this!
I see eyes gazing on my weary night
Like cold strange stars from out the world-abyss;
They gaze with scorn or pity: but their sight
Is banished from my inward golden bliss,
Floating divinely in the noonday light
Of Thee round whom I circle—O far Sun,
Through mirk and shine alike the earth's true course is run!
January 1857.
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