 | A Duke and no Duke |  |
Trappolin asleep, Flasks of Wine by him.
Trap.
What a Princely Nap have I taken!—But as I
remember I was to have gone to my Dutchess, or
dreamt so.—Give me a Bumper.
My Lords at large again?
Barb.
Long live your Highness.
Trap.
Amen.
Alb.
And happily.
Trap.
Amen for that too.—But my small Friends how
came you hither? I thought you had been under Lock and Key.
Barb.
Alass! he is relaps'd as bad as ever.
Trap.
Sirrah Captain, Why kept you not these Vermin up till
I bid you let them out?
Capt.
So please your Grace, I did.
Trap.
Will you lie Raskal to my Princely Face?
[He throws Wine in his Face.
Capt.
Gods! will this humour never leave him?
Barb.
We must in again.
Trap.
To Kennel with them, walk my good Lords Banishers,
your Honours know the way. Along with them. Trugh! trugh!
Alb.
There is no remedy.
[They are carried off.
Trap.
Thus far I take it, we have kept the Government in
good Order; now for my Dutchess, lead to her Graces Apartment.
[Officer enters.]
Off.
Embassadours from Savoy desire admittance.
Trap.
What are their Names?
Off.
Sir, I presum'd not to enquire.
Trap.
Then what's their Business?
Off.
That Sir were worse presumption.
Trap.
Thou insolent Varlet, What a Vulgar Fellow dost thou
take me for, to speak with Strangers before I know their business?
bring them to our Presence.
Off.
What can this mean?
Trap.
Suppose now, that those should be Spies upon our Government,
in the shape of Ambassadours: Loving Subjects, If
that be their business, I shall be frank and tell them, they have
the wrong Sow by the Ear. For as the Ancients were wont to
say, (those Ancients were a wise Nation) it was with them a
principal Maxime, Some wiser than some: Trust me for Politicks,
I'faith.
Enter Embassadours.
1. Emb.
Dread Sir, By us the Duke of Savoy sends
To greet your Nuptials with the Millanese,
Wishing all happiness to great Lavinio.
Trap.
'Tis civilly done, by my Troth, and there is no Love
lost, I can assure him.
2. Emb.
Is this the so much fam'd Lavino,
Renown'd for Wisdom and Severity.
Trap.
I say, it shews his good Nature as well as his Breeding,
and so here's his good health.
1. Emb.
This is most strange.
Trap.
So much for Ceremony, now to our Business:
For what can more befit a Prince than Business,
Which always is best done Propriâ Personâ;
I therefore Spice my Mornings Draught my self.
2. Emb.
I am astonish'd.
Trap.
The next prime Quality is for a Prince
Well to inform him of neighbouring Courts,
What Customs and Diversions are in use;
But chiefly by what Politicks they steer,
What Method in Affairs of State they take,
Whereby to square his own Concerns at home:
I therefore ask, What Wine you have in Savoy?
1. Emb.
This is gross Mockery.
2. Emb.
Or utter Frenzy.
We come not Sir to trifle, and 'tis time
We now declare the Order of our Message:
His only Brother, and his Dukedoms Heir,
Lyes here confin'd in close Imprisonment;
Release him instantly, and we are Friends:
Refuse us; and our sole Reply is War.
Trap.
If you bring nothing but War, e'en carry it back with
you again: We can drink and quarrel fast enough amongst our
selves:—But heark you, For the sake of some Dukes that
shall be nameless, before I treat with your Master, I must know
by what Title he holds.
1. Emb.
By Native and Legitimate Claim.
Trap.
That is as much as to say, I am an Usurper.
2. Emb.
By most unquestion'd and immediate Right
From Heav'n.
Trap.
As who should say, my Preferment came from the
Devil.
1. Emb.
We ask your final Answer, Peace or War.
Trap.
My final Answer is, to tell no man my Pleasure, till I
know it my self.
2. Emb.
Let us declare for Arms then, and away.
1. Emb.
It cannot be with this Fantastick Tale;
To bring this strange account, will speak us mad,
And with our Prince ne'er gain the least Belief.
Trap.
Look you Sirs, Your Master and I, can agree to fall out
at our leisure; but if he pretend to love the Prince Horatio better
than I do, he is a very uncivil Person, and so I shall tell him when
I next light into his Company.
1. Emb.
Heaven's! this is still more strange.
Trap.
Will he fight for him?
2. Emb.
He'l Conquer for him, Florence shall confess it.
Trap.
Then I have one familiar Question more,
Will he Pimp for him?
1. Emb.
Prodigious!
Trap.
Not Pimp for him? Let him pretend no further;
If he ne'er Pimp'd for him, his Claim is done.
Will he give him his Sister?
2. Emb.
That were fowl Incest; and besides, he has none.
Trap.
Why no more have I, nor ever had in my life, and yet
I have given him mine.—But as for your Princess, let her set
her my self.
1. Emb.
What, while your Millanese is living?
Trap.
That I confess I had forgot, Care for the State has turn'd
my Brain:—But here is to our better Understanding.
[Drinks.
2. Emb.
This is beyond all sufferance, gross affront;
And Florence shall in Blood lament the Folly.
Trap.
In the name of Mars, then let your Master know, I care
not, when we meet at the head of our Army—to crack a
Bottle.
[Exeunt Severally.
Enter Lavinio hastily.
Lav.
I've found, I've found at last the fatal Riddle:
It must be so, the Gods inspire the Thought,
Call Barberino and Alberto to me.
Serv.
From Prison Sir?
Lav.
From Prison Slave, what mean'st thou?
Serv.
Your Highness but this Minute sent them thither;
Nor will your Officer at my Request
Release them, 'twas so strict a Charge you gave.
Lav.
Here take my Signet for a Token: Bid them
Attend me instantly in my Apartment.
It must, it must be so, some spiteful Fiend
Permitted by the Heav'ns assumes my shape:
And what I do, undoes; no other Cause
Remains in Nature for these strange Effects;
Pity me God's, your lab'ring Minister;
Remove this Plague, and save the State of Florence.
[Exit.
Enter Trappolin, as going to the Dutchesse's Bed-Chamber.
Trap.
The next is the Dutchesse's Bed-Chamber,—and
yonder she is fast asleep.—What a Neck and Breast is there?—
Now do I reckon that my Friend Brunetto and I shall encounter
much about a time. I ought to have seen him a Bed first, but
my Natural Affection to my Dutchess prevail'd above my
Manners.
Serv.
Here is your Ring again Sir.
Trap.
What Ring?
Serv.
Your Signet Sir, which you sent me with, I have according
to your Order releas'd the Lords.
Trap.
Give it me: Now, go Slave commend me to Brunetto,
and bid him start fair.
Serv.
From Prison Sir?
Trap.
From Prison say you?—Here take my Signet with
you again, and release him: and say, I charge him on his Allegiance
to go to Bed to the Princess immediately; make all fast
without there; I can find the way to her Grace by my self:
Away.
[Ex. Servants, &c.
[As he is going in, he meets Lavinio entring.]
Lav.
'Tis strange they come not yet;—What do I see:
This is the Hellish Phantasm that has bred
All this Confusion in our Court; good Gods
How he resembles me! That I my self
Would almost take him for my self: What art thou?
Trap.
I am Lavinio, Duke of Tuscany.
Lav.
He speaks too, and and usurps my Name.
If thou art a Fiend, the gracious Heav'ns be kind,
And put a Period to thy wild proceedings;
But if thou art a Witch, I'le have thee burnt.
Trap.
Burnt? Traytor, burn your lawful Duke!
Lav.
I'le try if thou hast substance, struggle not,
For thou mayst sooner break from Hercules:
I'le have thee flead from thy enchanted skin,
In which thou represents't my Person.
Trap.
I say, beware of Treason; flea off my skin?
Lav.
Guards, Guards, Guards.
Trap.
Guards, Guards.
Lav.
A Traytor, a Traytor.
Trap.
A Traytor, a Traytor.
There's some of Father Conjurer's Powder for you; what it will
do for me I know not, but there 'tis.
Lav.
The Sorcerer has blinded me.
Trap.
Ay, so would Powder of Post for the present; but if this
be all the wonderful Effects, I'le save my skin while I may.
[He runs off.
Lav.
Stop, stop the Traytor, help! Guards, Guards!
[Runs after him.
Enter Isabella in her Night-Gown.
Isab.
Sure I did hear the Duke, my Husbands Voice
As in distress, and calling out for help;
Or did I dream? It must be more than so:
Nay, as I thought, I saw two Figures of him
One coursing of the other:—
The noise continues still—Who waits? All Deaf?
[Rings a Bell.
What, no Attendance here? What can this mean?
This is the private passage to the Princesse's Chamber.
I'le see if all be as silent there.
[Exit.
Re-Enter Trappolin.
Trap.
What will become of me? I shall never have the heart
to swagger it out with him: The Guards are coming too:—
Oh rare Powder! 'thas done the work I'faith.
Re-Enter Lavinio, transform'd into the Likeness of Trappolin.
Lav.
I have thee, and will hold thee, wert thou Proteus.
Enter Captain and Guards.
Trap.
Help Subjects, help your Duke's assaulted.
Audacious Slave.
Lav.
Death and Furies.
Capt.
What? Trappolin return'd?
Off.
He is distracted sure.
Trap.
No, no, Trappolin was too honest to assault his natural
Prince, this is some Villain transform'd by Magick to his likeness,
And I will have him flea'd out of his enchanted skin.
Lav.
Blood and Vengeance.
Trap.
Look to him carefully, till you have our further Orders:
Now once more for my Dutchess.
[Exit.
Lav.
Unhand me Slaves, I am the Duke your Soveraign.
All.
Ha! ha! ha!
Lav.
That Villain that went out, a damn'd Impostor.
Off.
Fowl Treason, stop his mouth.
Capt.
Alas, he is Lunatick.
Lav.
Why did you let th'Impostor Devil scape?
Capt.
Compose thy self poor Trappolin.
Lav.
What mean the Slaves by Trappolin?
Enter Servant.
Sir, Are you come? Where is my Ring?
Serv.
Trappolin come home? And as great a Knave, it seems,
as ever: He has heard the Duke sent me with his Ring, and
this impudent Rogue thinks to get it.
Lav.
The Slaves are now gone mad another way.
They take the Counterfeit, for their true Prince,
And me it seems for One I do not know.
Sure some amongst my Subjects yet will know me,
Then Slaves, your Heads shall answer for this Crime.
Enter Flametta.
Flam.
I am or'ejoy'd, you are welcome home my Dear,
I fear'd alass, I ne're should see you more:
Indeed my Dear, you are beholden to me;
'Twas I that won the Duke for your Repeal.
Lav.
Blood and Fire!
This is unkind to treat me with such coldness,
After so long an Absence; have you then
Forgot my Truth and Constancy?
Lav.
Off Strumpet.
Flam.
Dost thou reward me thus for all the Pains
I took for thy Return to Florence?
Lav.
Leave me,
Or I will spurn thee from me.
Flam.
O faithless Men! Women by me take heed
How you give credit to the perjur'd Sex.
Have I all thy long Banishment been true,
Refus'd Lord Barberino with his Gifts;
And am I slighted thus?
Lav.
What means the Harlot?
Heav'n, Earth, and Hell, have all conspir'd together,
To load me with a Crime unknown before.
Enter Barberino and Alberto.
My Lords, You never came in better Season,
For never was your Prince so much distres't;
My very Guards deny me for their Master,
And take a Wizard for the Duke of Florence.
Barb.
What means the Vagabond, how came he home?
I hope the Duke will take care to reward him.
Say Captain, which way is our Royal Master?
Lav.
Nay then, Destruction is turned loose upon me.
Flam.
Alas, He is mad!
Distracted with his Banishment.
Enter Isabella and Prudentia.
Pru.
The Vision you relate is wonderful,
And all these strange disorders in the Court
Must needs proceed from some Prodigious Cause.
Lav.
That is the Princesse's voice; Prudentia, Sister,
Pity your Brother, speak to these mad Subjects
That do not know their Prince.
Pru.
What Fellow's this?
Off Sirrah.
Lav.
Is she bewitched too?—My Dear Isabella
Thou sure wilt own the Duke thy Husband:—Ha!
She turns away in wonder! By the Bonds
Of Duty, and of Nature, I conjure you
To do me Right, and own the Duke your Lord.
Alberto, Barberino, Prudentia, Isabella.
All.
Ha! ha! ha!
Isab.
What do you with this frantick wretch? look to him
And lodge him in the Hospital.
Lav.
Confusion!
Nay then 'tis time to lay me thus on Earth,
And grow one Peice with it.
[Throws himself down.
Enter Brunetto.
Bru.
Your Highness humble Servant,—Dear Prudentia,
The Duke once more consents to make us happy,
Here is his Royal Signet for our Marriage.
Enter Trappolin.
Trap.
Eo, Meo, and Areo, rare Boys still.—I am out of breath
with looking for her; the Bed I found, but no Dutchess, and
not one of her Women can tell me where she is:—Why here
they are now all on a Bundle. Dear Pigs-ney, what a naughty
Trick was this, to Spirit your self away, when you know how
frighted I am with lying alone?—My Princely Friend, Hast
thou consummated? That sneaking look of thine, confesses thee
Guilty: Well, marry'd or not marry'd, I am resolv'd to see you
a Bed together incontinently.
Lav.
The Devil you shall.
[Rising up hastily.
Flam.
Dear Trappolin be quiet.
You will destroy your self and me.—I do beseech your Grace,
Forgive him; alass, he is Lunatick.
Lav.
Oh Heav'ns! endure this Impostor thus
With his Enchantments to bewitch your Eyes.
Trap.
Alass, poor Trappolin! That ever such good Parts as
thine should come to this.
Will he e're suffer this abuse?
Barb.
I know not, perhaps one Madman will pity another.
Lav.
Ye Florentines, I am Lavinio;
I am the Tuscan Duke; this an Impostor
That by damn'd Magick, and Infernal Arts
Has rais'd these strange Chimæra's in the Court.
Alb.
Your Highness is too patient.
Flam.
Sweet Trappolin be rul'd.
Trap.
Shew him a Glass.
Lav.
What do I see? Even thus I seem to them:
Plagues, Death, and Furies, this is Witchcraft all:
[Breaks the Glass.
Still I assert my Right, I am Lavinio.
Trap.
Nay, then, I see hee'l ne're come to good; to Prison
with him, take him away.
[As they seize him, Thunder and Lightning breaks forth, Mago rises.]
Mag.
Turn thee Lavinio Duke of Tuscany.
Lav.
Ha! who art thou that own'st my Power and Title,
Disclaim'd by all my Subjects?
All.
This is strange.
Trap.
Father Conjurer here?—I warrant he's going to the
Devil now, and calls at Court for Company.
Lav.
What e're thou art, dissolve this Magick Mist;
Restore my State, and right an injur'd Prince.
Mag.
My Spells alone can do it.
Lav.
I know that voice.
Mag.
Remember Guicardi the Tuscan Count,
Whom twelve years since, thou didst unjustly banish;
Which tedious hours, I chiefly have apply'd
To Magick Studies, and in just revenge
Have rais'd these strange disorders in thy Court;
Now, Pardon what is past, I'le set all Right.
Lav.
I swear by all the Honours of my State,
By both my Dukedoms, Florence and Siena,
I pardon what is past.
Trap.
So, here is his Grace and the Devil upon Articles of
Agreement, and excluding me from the Treaty:—Well, I'le
e'en banish my self whilest I have the Authority in my own
hands: I have got a handsome Face by the Bargain, and it
off as silently as I can.
[Exit.
Mag.
Then take that Chair.
[He places Lavinio in the Chair. Thunder and Lightning again.]
Bru.
What mean these Prodigies?
Mag.
Ye Noble Florentines suspend your fears,
And you shall see the wonders of my Skill.
Thus with my Powerful Wand I Crown thy Brow
With grateful slumbers till my Charms are wrought.
You Spirits fram'd of milder Elements,
You that Controul the black malicious Fiends,
Ascend, ascend, and execute my Will.
[Soft Music. Spirits rise and dance about Lavinio, who by a Device is transform'd before the Audience into his own Appearance, and Habit.
All.
The Duke! Good Heav'n! How have our Eyes been
Charm'd?
Long live your Highness.
Lav.
Where have I been? Sure all has been a Dream.
Mag.
Your Royal Word is past, you pardon all?
Lav.
I do, and weep for Joy
To see my Subjects to their Sense restor'd.
Mag.
Brave Prince Horatio, your elder Brother,
[To Brunetto.
The Duke of Savoy's dead.
Lav.
Then he is Savoy.
Sir, I entreat forgiveness of what's past,
And wish you Joy.
[Gives him Prudentia.
Brun., Prud.
You Crown our Happiness.
Lav.
Methinks, we have all been scatter'd in a Storm,
And thus by Miracle met here together
Upon the happy Shore.—Horatio, Lords,
Prudentia, Wife, let me embrace you all.
[Trappolin brought in by Spirits, in his own likeness.]
Lav.
Here is th'Impostor, God's! what abject Things,
When in your Hands, prove Scourges of a State.
Trap.
Good Father Conjurer, for old Acquaintance sake.
Beseech your Grace, use Moderation:
[To Lavinio.
You see by me what a Prince may come to.
Thy Pardon's granted, but depart the Realm.
Flam.
Dear Trappolin embrace the happy Fate,
And take me with thee.
Trap.
My Lord,—I have stood your Lordship's Friend.
[To Brunetto.
Bru.
In Savoy I'le requite thee Trappolin.
Trap.
Savoy, Girl, Savoy,—a Count, a Count I warrant thee.
Mag.
Son Trappolin, I am thy natural Father;
And since my Banishment from Florence, have
Sustain'd much Hardship, serv'd the Turk in's Galleys.
Trap.
By your leave Father Conjurer, you have serv'd the
Devil too.
Mag.
But from this Hour renounce my wicked Arts.
Lav.
So, lasting Happiness on Florence fall;
Our Plague's remov'd, and now we'l pass the Time
In Courtly Joys; our Tuscan Poets shall
From these Disorders, frame Fantastick Scenes
To entertain our beauteous Millanese:
Each Accident at leisure well recite,
Misfortunes past, prove Stories of Delight.
| A Duke and no Duke | |