University of Virginia Library

Scene 1.

Enter Larasco alone in Fenis's House.
Lar.
Malicious Rogues lie close, lurk any where;
Men may be kill'd, yet see no danger near.
Would all like wiser Schoolmen fight with words,
I could be Valiant; but I hate these Swords—
I can eat like a Lyon; and for Drink,
Bacchus himself should never make me shrink.
These are rare parts, the Virtues in request,
What pity 'tis I cannot reach the rest?
O had I but the heart, to thunder out
A Roaring Oath, look big, and stare about:
Cry Damm'ee! with a Grace; then stamp, and frown,
I were the most accomplish'd Blade in Town.
(A silent Noise methinks invades my Ear)
Enter Leonella.
Old Tormenter! I'll be reveng'd on her—
Dreadful Toledo! forth, thou trusty Blade,
That o're the Head and Ears in blood canst wade.
Come out! here's food to fill thy hungry Maw—
I'll kill thee Villain! if thou wilt not draw.
Draw thou Son of a Whore!

Leon.
Good Signior hold!

Lar.
Signior thy Sister, thou paltry sneaking Scold—
O I could swinge you now, I tell you that—
What now you Sir? ha! what would you be at?
Coward! I could eat thee—

Leon.
Brave Sir! you fight
Prodigiously, and kill as oft as smite.

Lar.
Mortal! Thou say'st the Truth, come buss me now—

Leon.
Stay Sir! You hold your Sword I know not how,
I could instruct you in a better way.

Lar.
Do't; I command thee—

[He gives her his Sword.
Leon.
Then I must obey—
Rascal! I'll teach you how to fight, I will,
[She beats him.
Draw on your Friends? Sirrah I charge you kneel.

Lar.
Ah Madam Captain! my first Fault forgive—

Leon.
Ne'r draw Toledo more as long's you live:
Next, I command thee that thou never fight,
But with our Sex—

Lar.
That too shall be at Night.

Leon.
Lest you are kick'd to Men give no affront;

Lar.
Ah! you are merciful! indeed I wo'nt.

Leon.
Thy word shall serve—

[Gives him his Sword.
Lar.
Your Wars I'd fain be at—
I know already how to manage that.
Vollies of sighs must first approach the Town,
To clear the brow of the defendant frown;
Kisses for Cannons, but my shot should fall
Thicker than cannon bullets 'gainst your Wall.
The sturdy batt'ring Ram should charge her home,
While her faint No's-supply the absent drum.
The breach once made, e'r I attacque the fort,
I would dismantl't, and peruse my sport:
And, if no modeish fireworks do remain,
I'll pitch my standard, and fall on again—

Leon.
But stay rash Sir! suppose that you are beat,
A right stout man takes care for a retreat—

Lar.
For a retreat? O prythee name it not—
I will o'recome;—Or perish on the spot.

Leon.
Poh! where's your Master? cease this idle Talk.

Lar.
He's musing in his melancholly walk:
Let's to the Pantry first, for some relief;
There's heavenly Wine, and mighty glorious Beef.

Leon.
Thy heart lies in thy guts, Sirrah march on—

Lar.
Love is a Dish I cannot live upon;
Like my Camelion Master feed on looks,
If e'r I do, my guts will curse the Cooks.

[Exeunt Larasco and Leonella.