University of Virginia Library

The first Intermeane after the first Act.

Mirth.

How now Gossip! how doe's the Play please you?

Censvre.

Very scuruily, me thinks, and sufficiently naught.

Expectation.

As a body would wish: here's nothing but a young
Prodigall, come of age, who makes much of the Barber, buyes him a
place in a new Office, i' the ayre, I know not where, and his man o' Law to
follow him, with the Begger to boote, and they two helpe him to a wife.

Mirth.

I, shee is a proper piece! that such creatures can broke for.

Tatle.

I cannot abide that nasty fellow, the Begger, if hee had beene
a Court-Begger in good clothes; a Begger in veluet, as they say, I could
haue endur'd him.

Mirth.

Or a begging scholler in blacke, or one of these beggerly
Poets, gossip, that would hang vpon a young heyre like a horseleech.

Expec.

Or a thred-bare Doctor of Physicke, a poore Quackesaluer.

Censvre.

Or a Sea-captaine, halfe steru'd.

Mirth.

I, these were tolerable Beggers, Beggers of fashion! you
shall see some such anon!

Tatle.

I would faine see the Foole, gossip, the Foole is the finest
man t'the company, they say, and has all the wit: Hee is the very Iustice
o' Peace o'the Play, and can cemmit whom hee will, and what hee will,
errour, absurdity, as the toy takes him, and no man say, blacke is his eye,
but laugh at him.

Mirth.

But they ha' no Foole i' this Play, I am afraid, gossip.

Tatle.

It's a wise Play, then.

Expectation.

They are all fooles, the rather, in that.

Censvre.

Like enough.

Tatle.

My husband, (Timony Tatle, God rest his poore soule)
was wont to say, there was no Play without a Foole, and a Diuell in't; he
was for the Diuell still, God blesse him. The Diuell for his money would
hee say, I would faine see the Diuell. And why would you so faine see the
Diuell? would I say. Because hee has hornes, wife, and may be a cuckold,
as well as a Diuell, hee would answer: You are e'en such another, husband,
quoth I. Was the Diuell euer married? where doe you read, the Diuell
was euer so honorable to commit Matrimony; The Play will tell vs,
that, sayes hee, wee'll goe see't to morrow, the Diuell is an Asse. Hee is
an errant learn'd man, that made it, and can write, they say, and I am
fouly deceiu'd, but hee can read too.

Mirth.

I remember it gossip, I went with you, by the same token,
Mr s. Trouble Truth diswaded vs, and told vs, hee was a prophane Poet,
and all his Playes had Diuels in them. That he kept schole vpo' the Stage,
could coniure there, aboue the Schole of Westminster, and Doctor
Lamb too: not a Play he made, but had a Diuell in it. And that he would
learne vs all to make our husbands Cuckolds at Playes: by another token,
that a young married wife i' the company, said, shee could finde in her heart
to steale thither, and see a little o' the vanity through her masque, and come
practice at home.

Tatle.
O, it was, Mistresse—

Mirth.
Nay, Gossip, I name no body. It may be 'twas my selfe.

Expectation.
But was the Diuell a proper man, Gossip?

Mirth.

As fine a gentleman, of his inches, as euer I saw trusted to the
Stage, any where else: and lou'd the common wealth, as well as ere a Patriot
of 'hem all: hee would carry away the Vice on his backe, quicke to
Hell, in euery Play where he came, and reforme abuses.

Expectation.

There was the Diuell of Edmonton, no such man,
I warrant you.

Censvre.

The Coniurer coosen'd him with a candles end, hee was
an Asse.

Mirth.

But there was one Smug, a Smith, would haue made a horse
laugh, and broke his halter, as they say.

Tatle.

O, but the poore man had got a shrewd mischance, one day.

Expectation.

How, Gossip?

Tatle.

He had drest a Rogue Iade i' the morning, that had the Staggers,
and had got such a spice of 'hem himselfe, by noone, as they would not
away all the Play time, doe what hee could, for his heart.

Mirth.

'Twas his part, Gossip, he was to be drunke, by his part.

Tatle.

Say you so, I vnderstood not so much.

Expecta.

Would wee had such an other part, and such a man in
this play, I feare 'twill be an excellent dull thing.

Censvre.

Expect, intend it.