The School of Politicks or, the humours of a coffee-house: a poem. The Second Edition Corrected and much Enlarged by the Author [i.e. Edward Ward] |
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| II. |
| III. |
| IV. |
| V. |
| VI. |
| VII. |
| VIII. |
| IX. |
| X. |
| XI. |
| XII. |
| XIII. | XIII.
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| XIV. |
| XV. |
| XVI. |
| XVII. |
| XVIII. |
| XIX. |
| XX. |
| XXI. |
| XXII. |
| XXIII. |
| XXIV. |
 | The School of Politicks |  |
16
XIII.
[From this most unintelligible Crew]
From this most unintelligible Crew
I went, another Scene to view,
If the forementioned were reserv'd and close,
These were more open, and more free,
For Wine no secret ever knows,
And that these Sparks had drank t'a large degree.
You Sirrah Boy, (says one,) go fetch m'a Whore,
A lusty strapping Bona Roba,
E'gad, I shall so jerk her Toby,
I'd make her—But I'll say no more
At present.—Pox this Coffee scalds my Throat,
(Another cries,) 'tis in all Sense too hot;
Prithee go fetch a Pair of Bellows hither,
And make my Dish know cooler weather:
That ever Man should be so great an Ass,
To suffer Wine (that plaguy Thief) to pass
Between his Lips, that slily did convey
His Sense, his Reason, and his Brains away:
How happy those dull Nations are,
That know no other Liquor but Small-Beer!
You, Harry, (then there bawls a third,)
If of Sobriety you speak one word,
By Jupiter, and all the Heathen Gods
Your Sword and mine shall be at mortal odds;
I for my part, without Reflections,
Against Small-Beer have forty Actions;
They're to be tried next Term, and if I cast it,
I'll make't High Treason for my Friends to tast it,
Boy, bring m'a Glass of Usquebaugh,
By People nicknam'd Lill' bullero,
'Tis good against the Gripes, they say,
My Humour's this—Dum spiro spero:
Come here's a Health to th'King of Poland;
Well, here sit I, who though I've no Land,
Suppose my self as great as he,
Nay, as th'great Cham of Tartary;
My Crown's a fuddling Cap, a Pipe my Sceptre;
My Bottle represents my Globe,
And any Cloaths serve for a Regal Robe;
My Queen my Mistress, when I kept her.
Drawers (or else 'tis very hard)
Will serve me for my Corps du Guard;
But when Incognito I reel,
A Link-boy serves the turn as well;
And, Gentlemen, to shew I'm yours,
Know you're my Privy Counsellours.
Well, we advise thee to go home,
(Says one,) and try by Sleep to overcome
This Humour.—
I went, another Scene to view,
If the forementioned were reserv'd and close,
These were more open, and more free,
For Wine no secret ever knows,
And that these Sparks had drank t'a large degree.
You Sirrah Boy, (says one,) go fetch m'a Whore,
A lusty strapping Bona Roba,
E'gad, I shall so jerk her Toby,
I'd make her—But I'll say no more
At present.—Pox this Coffee scalds my Throat,
(Another cries,) 'tis in all Sense too hot;
Prithee go fetch a Pair of Bellows hither,
And make my Dish know cooler weather:
That ever Man should be so great an Ass,
To suffer Wine (that plaguy Thief) to pass
Between his Lips, that slily did convey
His Sense, his Reason, and his Brains away:
How happy those dull Nations are,
That know no other Liquor but Small-Beer!
You, Harry, (then there bawls a third,)
If of Sobriety you speak one word,
By Jupiter, and all the Heathen Gods
Your Sword and mine shall be at mortal odds;
I for my part, without Reflections,
Against Small-Beer have forty Actions;
They're to be tried next Term, and if I cast it,
I'll make't High Treason for my Friends to tast it,
17
By People nicknam'd Lill' bullero,
'Tis good against the Gripes, they say,
My Humour's this—Dum spiro spero:
Come here's a Health to th'King of Poland;
Well, here sit I, who though I've no Land,
Suppose my self as great as he,
Nay, as th'great Cham of Tartary;
My Crown's a fuddling Cap, a Pipe my Sceptre;
My Bottle represents my Globe,
And any Cloaths serve for a Regal Robe;
My Queen my Mistress, when I kept her.
Drawers (or else 'tis very hard)
Will serve me for my Corps du Guard;
But when Incognito I reel,
A Link-boy serves the turn as well;
And, Gentlemen, to shew I'm yours,
Know you're my Privy Counsellours.
Well, we advise thee to go home,
(Says one,) and try by Sleep to overcome
This Humour.—
—Well, for once it shall be said,
(Says he,) That Counsel I obey'd;
Here, Boy, your Money,—Gentlemen let's go,
E'gad methinks I tread on Wool, or Snow,
My head's so light,—well, when I come again
I'll make new Orders in my drinking Reign.
(Says he,) That Counsel I obey'd;
Here, Boy, your Money,—Gentlemen let's go,
E'gad methinks I tread on Wool, or Snow,
My head's so light,—well, when I come again
I'll make new Orders in my drinking Reign.
| The School of Politicks | |