2. CHAP. II.
IT is not the nature of the female tongue
to be silent. The landlady could not
avoid informing her gossips, and even some
of her guests, of what had happened the
preceding evening in her house. The report,
so unfavourable to the clergyman,
had therefore got out; and coming to the
ears of the consistory, was the occasion of
calling him before them, to answer to the
accusation. The clergyman much alarmed,
though conscious of innocence, bethought
himself of applying to the Captain,
to extort from his waiting man a
confession of the truth, and relieve his
character. Accordingly having set out on
a bay horse that he had, he found the
Captain, and addressed him in the following
manner:
Captain, said he, the affair of that night
at the tavern, is like to be of serious consequence
to me. For though I am innocent
as the child unborn, yet the presumption
is against me, and I am likely to fall
under church censure. It may be sport
to you, but it is a matter of moment to
me. Now, as sure as God is in heaven,
I am innocent; and it must have been the
devil, or that red headed Irishman of
yours, that made the disturbance.
The Captain gave him the comfort of
assuring him that he might make himself
easy; for be the matter as it might, he
would take care that Teague should assume
it, and bear the blame. The clergyman
politely thanked him; declaring,
at the same time, that he would not forget
him in his prayers, Sunday or Saturday,
while he had an hour to live. The
Captain, not so much from any mercenary
motive of benefit, by his spiritual
solicitations, as from a real love of humanity
and justice, had determined to do him
essential service in this affair. Accordingly,
when the clergyman had retired, calling
Teague before him, he began in this
manner: Teague, said he, from what I
know of your disposition, I have no more
doubt than I have of my existence, that
it was yourself who made that uproar with
the girl at the tavern where we lodged;
though I could not but give you credit
for your presence of mind in throwing it
upon the clergyman. But whether the
matter lies with you or him, is of no
consequence. You can take it upon you,
and lay up treasure in heaven. It will be
doing a good work; and these people, you
may be assured, have a considerable influence
in the other world. This clergyman
can speak a good word for you when you
come there, and let you into half the benefit
of all the prayers he has said on earth.
It will be no harm to you, for your character
in this respect is as bad as it can well
be.
Teague said he did not care much; but
thought the priest ought to pay a little
smart money; for it was a thankless matter
to do these things for nothing. Said
the Captain, these people are not the most
plenty of money; but I will advance half
a crown towards the accommodation.
Teague was satisfied, and ready to acknowledge
whatever was demanded of him.
Accordingly having come before the
presbytery on the day appointed for the
trial. Teague made confession of the truth;
viz. That being in the kitchen with the
girl, and observing her to be a good looking
hussy —
But suppose we give the speech in his
own dialect. Master prastes, said he, I
persave you are all prastes of the gosple,
and can prach as asily as I can take a chaw
of tobacco. Now the trut of de story is
dis; I was slaping in my bed, and I tought
vid myself it was a shame amonst christian
paple that a young crature should slape by
herself, and have no one to take care of
her. So I tought vid myself, to go and
slape vid her. But as she was aslape, she
made exclamation, and dis praste that is
here before you, came in to save her shoul
from the devil; and as the captain my master,
might take offence, and the devil, I
am shartain that it was no better person,
put it into my head, to lay it on the praste
This is the trut master prastes, as I hope
for shalvation in the kingdom of purgatory,
shentlemen.
On this confession, the clergyman was
absolved, to the great joy of the presbytery,
who considered it as a particular providence
that the truth was brought to light.
