University of Virginia Library

10. CHAPTER X.
LOVE'S PERPLEXITIES.

The only persons not pleased with the fancy
ball, were Julia Wingate, who was out of humour
with herself; Heartwell, who was out of humour
with Julia; and Mrs. Smith, number nine, who
was disappointed at there being no supper. All
the rest were particularly pleased, and none more
so than our hero, who went to bed perfectly satisfied
that Julia Wingate was in love with him to
distraction. He did not like her half as well as
her mother, but his affairs were rather at a low
ebb; Julia would certainly be a fortune one day
or other, and being an only daughter, he could

live in the house with the old people till the father
chose to give them an establishment of their own.
So he determined to marry Julia Wingate. Having
come to this comfortable resolution, he fell
asleep, and did not awake till twelve the next day.

Julia lay awake a long while that night, but
she was not thinking of our hero. She was trying
with all her might to be angry with Heartwell, for
not speaking to her the whole evening. A certain
instinct whispered to her, that this was owing
entirely to her flirting with Sopus; but then her
flirting with Sopus was as entirely owing to Heartwell's
neglect; so after all it was his fault and not
hers. But then again, what business had he to be
angry at her flirtations, if he was not a little in
love with her; and if he was in love, then he
wanted a proper respect for her in believing for a
moment that she could prefer such a man as Sopus
to himself. At all events, until he declared himself,
he had no right to take offence at her conduct,
and therefore to be angry was a great piece
of impertinence, for which he deserved punishment.
Accordingly Julia resolved to be angry
with Heartwell, and flirt with Sopus until the
former made a downright declaration, or demonstrated
his affection by growing very pale and melancholy.
Having come to this determination, she
lay awake restless and feverish the rest of the night.

Heartwell was a man of spirit, and such a man
makes a most refractory lover, until he is fairly

broke in. I advise the young ladies to beware of
a young man of spirit and sense, for such generally
make the most wayward, troublesome, peevish innamoratos
in the world. Even love cannot degrade
them into slaves before marriage, nor matrimony
convert them into tyrants afterwards. I
therefore again seriously advise young ladies of
discretion, either to select a fool for a husband, or
make a fool of him as soon as possible. Heartwell
went home to his lodgings, where he sat two
hours, making marks in the ashes with a poker. His
thoughts crossed their tracks, as they say in the
western country, a hundred times, and as often did
he change his determination. To choose such a
puppy as Sopus to play off against him; if he had
only been a fine, first rate fellow, full of sense,
spirit, and honour, why—why—confound it, he
would have been satisfied. Here he told a great
lie, for if Julia had selected such a one he would
have been ten times more jealous than ever. But
the greatest hypocrite in the world deceives himself
oftener than he does others. His first resolution
was to take a trip to Boston or Philadelphia. But
he disliked travelling, particularly in winter. Besides,
this would be leaving the field entirely to his
rival. Then he determined to stay in town without
going near her for a fortnight. But this was
liable to the same objection; it was giving Sopus
the advantage. Then he resolved to give her up
entirely, visiting her occasionally merely to show
his indifference. But in a little time, after making
a few more marks in the ashes, his heart
relented from this harsh decree. It was the first
time she had ever served him so, and after showing
a proper sense of the indignity, he thought upon
the whole he would forgive her, in a week or so.
He made a few more marks, and figured the name
of Julia in large capitals in the ashes. “Julia!”
what a sweet name, and what a sweet girl. Such
a foot! It was all over with Heartwell. He determined
to see her in the morning, and pardon
her on the spot. After which he went to bed and
had a very ill natured dream. He dreamed he
told a young lady who appeared in the costume of
Folly, that it was hardly necessary to put on a
disguise to play the character in perfection.

The next morning he called to see Julia as early
as fashion would permit, and was denied. “I
suppose she is fatigued with last night's dissipation,”
thought Heartwell, and walked slowly down
Broadway. Happening to turn his head, he saw
our hero ringing at the door. Heartwell had not
the least curiosity in the world, yet he could not
help peeping, now and then, over his shoulder.
Sopus was admitted without hesitation, and what
was worse than all, he must have seen Heartwell
denied, for he gave him a most provoking, unbearable
nod, as he entered the house. “By
heavens!” said Heartwell to himself, “that's too
bad. If I put up with this, may I dwindle into a

led captain.” He took a long walk on the Battery
and met there an old acquaintance, who never
passed any body without crying out “fine day,” in
a voice like a north-wester. “Very,” replied
Heartwell. “Not very either,” said the other,
“its fine walking overhead, but bad under foot.”
“Very,” quoth Heartwell.

“Rather sloppy.”

“Rather.”

“Very open winter.”

Heartwell kept his mouth shut.

“Good morning, Mr. Heartwell.”

“Good evening, Mr. White.”

The man's name was Black.

“What the deuce is the matter with Heartwell.
I believe the Devil is in him,” thought Mr. Black.
He was not much out in his calculation. An
angry lover is as near being possessed by the
evil one, as was the herd of swine.

Sopus was received by Julia with a smiling
welcome, which many a man before him, has mistaken
for something more. The truth is Julia was
delighted with having turned Heartwell from the
door, and delighted with our hero as the instrument
of revenging herself on the man she really
preferred to all others. This is the way with women.
They don't mind how many innocent hearts
they break, if they can only revenge themselves
upon the man of their own heart. But they should
be forgiven for this, because they sometimes

wreck their own happiness, and break their own
hearts, in pursuit of the same object.

Our hero was exalted with his reception, and
several times came as near making a declaration,
as a man could do, and escape. “I will open myself
to her mother,” thought he. “No, hang it,
that wont do. The old lady mistook my declaration
of love to her, for one to her daughter; who
knows but she may make another blunder, and
take this one to herself?” After spending about
two hours, and tiring poor Julia almost to death,
he departed, just as Heartwell who was going up
Broadway, by accident was looking directly at the
door. Sopus nodded to him again, and crossed
over the street to join him. “Which way are you
going?” said Heartwell. “Up the street,” said
the other. “I am going down,” cried Heartwell,
turning short about, and retracing his steps down
Broadway. “A cut,” quoth Sopus, “but I'll cut

him out for this.”