University of Virginia Library

Vpon K. J. Pistolling a Mastiff Dog at Banbury, in his last Progress.

The Poets tell us idle Tales to please us,
Of mighty Perseus, Hercules, and Theseus;
And several other gallant Heroes too,
Who ev'ry one their several Monsters slew.

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189

The Minotaur did Theseus bravely slaughter,
And then as bravely Sw---d the Kings own Daughter.
Nemean Lion bold Hercules did choak,
And of his Skin made him a lasting Cloak.
The far-fam'd Perseus kill'd a mighty Whale,
And all t'enjoy Andromeda's brown Tail.
Historians all the great St. George admire,
For murdering horrid Dragon that spit Fire.
But what concerns us yet far more to tell,
One of these Heroes slew the Dog of Hell;
Renown'd Attempts (you'll all confess) if true,
But our great J---s did more than this, (Morbleau:)
He who before, t'immortalize his Name,
Lost dreaded England all her Naval Fame;
He who return'd from Belgick Lions Roar,
When Sandwich sunk in sight of Southwold Shore;
He who two Summers but of late sat down
With all his Forces before Hounslow Town,
And nothing else but bare dishonour won;
He, when he saw his Loving Friend assail'd
By furious Mastiff Cur, Ear-snip'd, bob-tail'd,
Eyes darting Fire, and with his Boo-woo's fierce,
Ready to seize the Lord Lieutenants Horse:
'Tis true, quoth he, to shew that wondrous Might,
Which I have long conceal'd from human sight:
With furious Tone pursuing then his Speech,
Fanatick Dog, forbear my Royal Breech,
(He cry'd) For know thou art but bluntly pointed,
Tho sharp thy Fangs, to touch the Lords Anointed.
To which the Dog, who never Scripture read,
And scorn'd to call an Earthly Monarch Dread.
I am no Dog (quoth he) to fawn and flatter,
But I address according to my Nature:

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However know I am a Dog of Sense,
That's more than may be said of many a Prince.
With this the mighty J--- a Pistol drew,
Discharg'd, and shot the Mastiff thro' and thro:
Some say that, Vulcan-like, he riv'd his Brain,
No matter which, the Dog receiv'd his Bane,
By Royal Hand for saucy Language slain,
And both got Honour, Dog and Sovereign;
The Sov'reign had the Honour Dog to kill;
The Mastiff, that a Prince his Gore did spill.
Now then, come down from Heaven (ye Cur) come down,
Thou whom the sweltry Summers so renown;
Resign that Place of thine more justly due
To this same Dog, whom God's Vice-gerent slew:
Surely a Dog so dignify'd in Story,
Is th'only Dog worth Constellations Glory.