 | The Chances |  |
Actus Secundus.
Scæna prima.
Enter Duke, pursued by Petruchio, Antonio, and that Faction.Duke.
You will not all oppresse me?
Ant.
Kill him ith' wanton eye: let me come to him.
Duk.
Then yee shall buy me dearely.
Petr.
Say you so sir?
Ant.
I say cut his Wezand spoile his peeping:
Have at your love-sick heart sir.
John.
Sure 'tis fighting.
Enter Don John.
My friend may be engag'd: fie gentlemen,
This is unmanly oddes.
Ant.
Ile stop your mouth sir.
John.
Nay, then have at thee freely:
Ther's a plumb sir to satisfie your longing.
Du. fals down, Don Ioh. bestrides him.
Pet.
Away: I hope I have sped him: here comes rescue.
We shall be endangered: where's Antonio?
Ant.
I must have one thrust more sir.
Ioh.
Come up to me.
Ant.
A mischiefe confound your fingers.
Petr.
How is't?
Ant.
Well:
Ha's giv'n me my quietus est, I felt him
In my small guts, I'me sure, has seez'd me:
This comes of siding with ye.
2 Gent.
Can you goe sir?
Ant.
I should goe man, and my head were of,
Never talke of going.
Pet.
Come, all shall be well then.
I heare more rescue comming.
Enter the Dukes Faction.
Ant.
Let's turne back then;
My skull's uncloven yet, let me but kill.
Pet.
Away for heaven sake with him.
Ioh.
How is't?
Du.
Well sir,
Onely a little stagger'd.
Faction Du.
Lets pursue 'em.
Du.
No not a man, I charge ye: thanks good coat,
Thou hast sav'd me a shrewd welcome: 'twas put home too,
With a good minde I'me sure on't.
Ioh.
Are ye safe then?
Du.
My thanks to you brave sir, whose timely valour,
And manly courtesie came to my rescue,
Io.
Ye' had foule play offer'd ye, and shame befall him
That can passe by oppression.
Du.
May I crave sir,
But thus much honour more, to know your name?
And him I am so bound to?
Ioh.
For the Bond sir,
'Tis every good mans tye: to know me further
Will little profit ye; I am a stranger,
My Countrey Spaine; my name Don Iohn, a gentleman
That lyes here for my study.
Du.
I have heard sir,
Much worthy mention of ye, yet I finde
Fame short of what ye are.
Iohn.
You are pleas'd sir,
To expresse your courtesie: may I demand
As freely what you are, and what mischance
Cast you into this danger?
Du.
For this present
I must desire your pardon: you shall know me
Ere it be long sir, and a nobler thanks,
Then now my will can render.
Ioh.
Your will's your owne sir.
Du.
What is't you look for sir, have yee lost any thing?
Io.
Onely my hat i'th scuffle; sure these fellowes
Were night-snaps.
Du.
No, believe sir: pray ye use mine,
For 'twil be hard to finde your owne now.
Ioh.
No sir.
Du.
Indeed ye shall, I can command another:
I doe beseech ye honour me.
Io.
I will sir,
And so Ile take my leave.
Du.
Within these few dayes
I hope I shall be happy in your knowledge.
Till when I love your memory.
Io.
I yours.
Exit Duke, &c. Enter Fredrick.
This is some noble fellow.
Fred.
'Tis his tongue sure.
Don Iohn?
Ioh.
Don Fredrick?
Fred.
Ye' are fairely met sir:
I thought ye had been a Bat-fowling: prethee tell me,
What Revelations hast thou had to night,
That home was never thought of?
Io.
Revelations?
Ile tell thee Fredrick. but before I tell thee,
Settle thy understanding.
Fred.
'Tis prepar'd, sir.
Io.
Why then mark what shall follow. This night Fredr.
This bawdy night.
Fred.
I thought no lesse.
Ioh.
This blinde night,
What dost think I have got?
Fred.
The Pox it may be.
Io.
Would 'twere no worse: ye talke of Revelations,
I have got a Revelation will reveale me,
An arrant Coxcombe while I live.
Fred.
What is't?
Thou hast lost nothing?
Io.
No, I have got I tell thee.
Fr.
What hast thou got?
Io.
One of the Infantry, a childe.
Fr.
How?
Io.
A chopping child, man.
Fr.
'Give ye joy, sir.
Io.
A lump of lewdnesse Fredrick, that's the truth on't:
This Town's abominable.
Fr.
I still told ye Iohn
Your whoring must come home; I counsell'd ye:
But where no grace is—
Io.
'Tis none o' mine, man.
Fr.
Answer the Parish so.
Io.
Cheated introth.
Peeping into a house, by whom I know not,
Nor where to find the place agen: no Fredricke,
Had I but kist the ring fort; 'tis no poor one,
That's my best comfort, for't has brought about it
Enough to make it man.
Fr.
Where is't?
Io.
At home.
Fr.
A saving voyage: But what will you say Signior.
7
Has met a stranger fortune?
Joh.
How, good Frederick?
A militant girle now to this boy would hit it?
Fred.
No, mine's a nobler venture: What do you think Sir
Of a distressed Lady one whose beauty
Would oversell all Italy?
Joh.
Where is she—
Fred.
A woman of that rare behaviour,
So qualified, as admiration
Dwels round about her: of that perfect spirit—
Joh.
I marry Sir.
Fred.
That admirable carriage,
That sweetnes in discourse; young as the morning,
Her blushes staining his.
Joh.
But where's this Creature?
Shew me but that.
Fred.
That's all one, shee's forth comming.
I have her sure Boy.
Joh.
Harke ye Fredrick.
What truck betwixt my Infant?
Fred.
'Tis too light Sir,
Stick to your charges good Don John, I am well.
Joh.
But is there such a wench?
Fred.
First tell me this,
Did ye not lately as ye walk'd along,
Discover people that were arm'd, and likely
To doe offence?
Ioh.
Yes mary, and they urg'd it
As far as they had spirit.
Fred.
Pray goe forward.
Ioh.
A Gentleman I found ingag'd amongst 'em,
It seemes of noble breeding, I'm sure brave mettall,
As I return'd to looke you, I set in to him,
And without hurt (I thanke heaven) rescued him,
And came my selfe off safe too.
Fred.
My work's done then:
And now to satisfie you, there is a woman,
Oh Iohn, there is a woman—
Ioh.
Oh, where is she?
Fred.
And one of no lesse worth then I assure ye;
And which is more, falne under my protection.
Ioh.
I am glad of that: forward sweet Fredrick.
Fred.
And which is more then that, by this nights wandring,
And which is most of all, she is at home too Sir.
Io.
Come, lets be gone then.
Fred.
Yes, but 'tis most certaine,
You cannot see her, Iohn.
Ioh.
Why?
Fred.
She has sworne me
That none else shall come neare her: not my Mother
Till some few doubts are clear'd.
Ioh.
Not look upon her? What chamber is she in?
Fred.
In ours.
Ioh.
Let's goe I say:
A womans oathes are wafers, breake with making,
They must for modestie a litle: we all know it.
Fred.
No, I'le assure you Sir.
Ioh.
Not see her?
I smell an old dog trick of yours, well Fredrick.
Ye talkt to me of whoring, let's have faire play,
Square dealing I would wish ye.
Fred.
When 'tis come,
Which I know never will be, to that issue,
Your spoone shall be as deep as mine Sir.
Ioh.
Tell me,
And tell me true, is the cause honourable,
Or for your ease?
Fr.
By all our friendship, Iohn,
'Tis honest, and of great end.
Ioh.
I am answer'd:
But let me see her though: leave the doore open
As yee goe in.
Fr.
I dare not.
Io.
Not wide open,
But just so, as a jealous husband
Would levell at his wanton wife through.
Fr.
That courtesie,
If ye desire no more, and keep it strictly,
I dare afford yee: come, 'tis now neare morning.
Ex.
Scæne 2.
Enter Peter and Anthony.Pet.
Nay the old woman's gone too.
Ant.
Shee's a Catterwauling
Among the gutters: But conceive me, Peter,
Where our good Masters should be?
Pet.
Where they should be,
I doe conceive, but where they are, good Anthony—
Ant.
I, there it goes: my Masters bo-peep with me,
With his slye popping in and out agen,
Argued a cause, a frippery cause.
Pet.
Beleeve me,
They bear up with some carvell.
Ant.
I doe believe thee,
For thou hast such a Master for that chase,
That till he spend his maine Mast—
Pet.
Pray remember
Your courtesie good Anthony; and withall,
How long 'tis since your Master sprung a leak,
He had a sound one since he came.
Lute sounds within.
Ant.
Harke.
Pet.
What?
Ant.
Doest not hear a Lute?
Agen?
Pet.
Where is't?
Ant.
Above in my Masters chamber.
Pet.
There's no creature: he hath the key himself man.
An.
This is his Lute: let him have it.
Pet.
I grant you; but who strikes it?
Sing within a little.
Ant.
An admirable voice too, harke ye.
Pet.
Anthony,
Art sure we are at home?
Ant.
Without all doubt, Peter.
Pet.
Then this must be the Devill.
Ant.
Let it be.
Sing agen.
Good Devill sing againe: O dainty devill,
Peter beleve it, a most delicate devill,
The sweetest Devill—
Fred.
If ye could leave peeping.
Enter Fredrick & Don Iohn.
Iohn.
I cannot by no meanes.
Fred.
Then come in softly,
And as ye love your faith, presume no further
Then yee have promised.
Ioh.
Basto.
Fr.
What make you up so early sir?
Io.
You sir in your contemplations.
Pet.
O pray ye peace sir.
Fred.
Why peace sir?
Pet.
Doe you heare?
Ioh.
'Tis your Lute.
Fred.
Pray yee speak softly.
8
Ant.
The house is haunted sir,
For this we have heard this halfe yeare.
Fred.
Ye saw nothing;
Ant.
Not I.
Pet.
Nor I Sir.
Fred.
Get us our breakfast then,
And make no words on't; wee'll undertake this spirit,
If it be one.
Ant.
This is no devill Peter.
Sing.
Mum, there be Bats abroad.
Exeunt Servants.
Fred.
Stay, now she sings.
Ioh.
An Angels voice Ile sweare.
Fred.
Why did'st thou shrug so?
Either allay this heat; or as I live
I will not trust ye.
Ioh.
Passe: I warrant ye.
Exeunt.
Enter Constantia.
Con.
To curse those starres, that men say governe us,
To raile at fortune, fall out with my Fate,
And taske the generall world, will helpe me nothing:
Alas, I am the same still, neither are they
Subject to helpes, or hurts: Our owne desires
Are our owne fates, our owne stars, all our fortunes,
Which as we sway 'em, so abuse, or blesse us.
Enter Fredrick, and Don John peeping.
Fred.
Peace to your meditations.
Joh.
Pox upon ye,
Stand out oth' light.
Const.
I crave your mercy sir,
My minde o're-charg'd with care made me unmannerly.
Fr.
Pray yee set that minde at rest, all shall be perfect.
Io.
I like the body rare; a handsome body,
A wondrous handsome body: would she would turne:
See, and that spightfull puppy be not got
Between me and my light againe,
Fr.
Tis done,
As all that you command shall bee: the gentleman
Is safely off all danger.
Ioh.
O de dios.
Const.
How shall I thank ye sir? how satisfie?
Fr.
Speak softly, gentle Lady, all's rewarded,
Now does he melt like Marmalad.
Io.
Nay, 'tis certaine,
Thou art the sweetest woman I e're look'd on:
I hope thou art not honest.
Fred.
None disturb'd yee?
Const.
Not any sir, nor any sound came neare me,
I thank your care.
Fred.
'Tis well.
Ioh.
I would faine pray now,
But the Devill and that flesh there, o' the world,
What are we made to suffer?
Fr.
Hee'll enter;
Pull in your head and be hang'd.
Ioh.
Harke ye Fredricke,
I have brought ye home your Pack-saddle.
Fr.
Pox upon yee.
Con.
Nay let him enter: fie my Lord the Duke,
Stand peeping at your friends.
Fr.
Ye are cozen'd Lady,
Here is no Duke.
Const.
I know him full well Signior.
Ioh.
Hold thee there wench.
Fre.
This mad-brain'd foole will spoile all.
Con.
I doe beseech your grace come in.
Ioh.
My Grace,
There was a word of comfort.
Fred.
Shall he enter,
Who e're he be?
Ioh.
Well follow'd Fredrick.
Const.
With all my heart.
Fred.
Come in then.
Enter Don John.
Jo.
'Blesse yee Lady:
Fr.
Nay start not, though he be a stranger to ye,
Hee's of a Noble straine, my kinsman, Lady,
My Countrey-man, and fellow Traveller,
One bed containes us ever, one purse feeds us,
And one faith free between us; do not fear him,
Hee's truely honest.
Jo.
That's a lye.
Fred.
And trusty:
Beyond your wishes: valiant to defend,
And modest to converse with, as your blushes.
Jo.
Now may I hang my self; this commendation
Has broke the neck of all my hopes: for now
Must I cry, no forsooth, and I forsooth, and surely,
And truely as I live, and as I am honest.
Has done these things for 'nonce too; for hee knowes,
Like a most envious Rascall as he is,
I am not honest, nor desire to be,
Especially this way: h'as watch'd his time,
But I shall quit him.
Const.
Sir, I credit ye.
Fred.
Goe kisse her John.
Joh.
Plague o' your commendations.
Con.
Sir, I shall now desire to be a trouble.
Jo.
Never to me, sweet Lady: Thus I seale
My faith, and all my service.
Con.
One word Signeur.
Jo.
Now 'tis impossible I should be honest,
She kisses with a conjuration
Would make the devill dance: what points she at?
My leg I warrant, or my well knit body:
Sit fast Don Fredrick.
Fred.
'Twas given him by that gentleman
You took such care of, his owne being lost ith' scuffle.
Con.
With much joy may he weare it: 'tis a right one,
I can assure ye Gentleman, and right happy
May you be in all fights for that faire service.
Fred.
Why doe ye blush?
Con.
'T had almost cozen'd me,
For not to lye, when I saw that, I look'd for
Another Master of it: but 'tis well.
Fr.
Who's there?
Knock within. Ent. Anthony.
Stand ye a little close: Come in Sir,
Now what's the newes with you?
Anth.
There is a gentlemen without,
Would speak with Don John,
Ioh.
Who sir?
Ant.
I do not know Sir, but he shews a man
Of no meane reckoning.
Fred.
Let him shew his name,
And then returne a little wiser.
Ant.
Well Sir.
Exit Anthony.
Fred.
How doe you like her Iohn?
Ioh.
As well as you Fredrick,
For all I am honest: you shall finde it so too.
Fred.
Art thou not honest?
Ioh.
Art thou an Asse?
And modest as her blushes? What a block-head
Would e're have popt out such a dry Apologie,
9
A woman of her youth, and delicacy.
They are arguments to draw them to abhorre us.
An honest morall man; 'tis for a Constable:
A handsome man, a wholsome man, a tough man,
A liberall man, a likely man, a man
Made up like Hercules, unslak'd with service:
The same to night, to morrow night, the next night,
And so to perpetuitie of pleasures,
These had been things to hearken too, things catching:
But you have such a spiced consideration,
Such qualmes upon your worships conscience,
Such-chil-blaines in your bloud, that all things pinch ye,
Which nature, and the liberall world makes custome,
And nothing but faire honour, O sweet honour,
Hang up your Eunuch honour: That I was trusty,
And valiant, were things well put in; but modest!
A modest gentleman I ô wit where wast thou?
Fred.
I am sorrie John,
John.
My Ladies gentlewoman
Would laugh me to a Schoole-boy, make me blush
With playing with my Codpeece point: fie on thee,
A man of thy discretion?
Fred.
It shall be mended:
And henceforth yee shall have your due.
Enter Anthony.
John.
I look fort: How now, who is't?
An.
A gentleman of this towne
And calls himselfe Petruchio.
Enter Constantia.
John.
Ile attend him.
Const.
How did he call himselfe.
Fred.
Petruchio,
Doe's it concerne you ought?
Const.
O gentlemen,
The houre of my destruction is come on me,
I am discover'd, lost, left to my ruine:
As ever ye had pitty—
John.
Doe not feare,
Let the great devill come, he shall come through me:
Lost here, and we about ye?
Fred.
Fall before us?
Const.
O my unfortunate estate, all angers
Compar'd to his, to his—
Fred.
Let his, and all mens,
Whilst we have power and life: stand up for heaven sake.
Con.
I have offended heaven too; yet heaven knows—
Iohn.
We are all evill:
Yet heaven forbid we should have our deserts.
What is a?
Con.
Too too neare to my offence sir;
O he will cut me peece-meale.
Fred.
'Tis no Treason?
John.
Let it be what it will: if a cut here,
Ile finde him cut-worke.
Fred.
He must buy you deare,
With more than common lives.
Joh.
Feare not, nor weep not:
By heaven Ile fire the Towne before yee perish,
And then, the more the merrier, wee'll jog with yee.
Fred.
Come in, and dry your eyes.
John.
Pray no more weeping:
Spoile a sweet face for nothing? my returne
Shall end all this I warrant you.
Con.
Heaven grant it.
Exeunt.
Scæne 3.
Enter Petruchio with a Letter.Petr.
This man should be of speciall rank:
For these commends carry no common way,
No slight worth with 'em:
A shall be he.
Ent. Don Iohn.
John.
'Save yee sir: I am sorrie
My businesse was so unmannerly, to make ye
Wait thus long here.
Petr.
Occasions must be serv'd sir:
But is your name Don John?
Ioh.
It is Sir.
Petr.
Then,
First, for your owne brave sake I must embrace yee:
Next, from the credit of your noble friend
Hernando de Aluara, make yee mine:
Who layes his charge upon me in this Letter
To look yee out, and for the goodnesse in yee,
Whilst your occasions make yee resident
In this place, to supply yee, love and honour yee;
Which had I knowne sooner—
Iohn.
Noble sir,
You'll make my thanks too poore: I weare a sword, sir,
And have a service to be still dispos'd of,
As you shall please command it.
Petr.
Gentle sir,
That manly courtesie is half my businesse:
And to be short, to make ye know I honour ye,
And in all points believe your worth like Oracle,
And how above my friends, which are not few,
And those not slack, I estimate your vertues.
Make your selfe understand, This day Petruchio,
A man that may command the strength of this place,
Hazzard the boldest spirits; hath made choice
Onely of you, and in a noble office.
Ioh.
Forward, I am free to entertaine it.
Petr.
Thus then:
I doe beseech ye mark me.
Ioh.
I shall doe it.
Pet.
Ferrara's Duke, would I might call him worthie,
But that he has raz'd out from his family,
As he has mine with Infamie, This man,
Rather this powerfull Monster, we being left
But two of all our house, to stock our memories,
My Sister, and my selfe; with arts, and witch-crafts,
Vowes, and such oathes heaven has no mercy for,
Drew to dishonour this weak maid, by stealthes,
And secret passages I knew not of,
Oft he obtain'd his wishes, oft abus'd her:
I am asham'd to say the rest: This purchas'd,
And his hot bloud allay'd, as friends forsake us
At a miles end upon our way, he left her,
And all our name to ruine.
Ioh.
This was foule Play,
And ought to be rewarded so.
Petr.
I hope so;
He scap'd me yester-night: which if he dare
Againe adventure for, heaven pardon him,
I shall with all my heart.
Ioh.
For me, brave Signior,
What doe yee intend?
Petr.
Onely, faire sir, this trust,
Which from the commendations of this Letter,
I dare presume well placed, nobly to beare him
By word of mouth a single challenge from me,
That man to man, if he have honour in him,
We may decide all difference.
Ioh.
Faire, and noble,
And I will doe it home: When shall I visite ye?
Pet.
Please you this after-noon, I will ride with yee.
10
To finde him.
Iohn.
Ile be ready.
Petr.
To attend ye,
My man shall wait: with all my love
Ex. Petr.
John.
My service shall not faile yee.
Enter Fredr.
Fred.
How now?
John.
All's well: who dost thou think this wench is?
Ghesse, and thou canst?
Fred.
I cannot.
Iohn.
Be it knowne then,
To all men by these presents, this is she,
She, she, and only she, our curious coxcombs
Were errant two moneths after.
Fred.
Who, Constantia?
Thou talk'st of Cocks and Bulls.
Ioh.
I talke of wenches,
Of Cocks and Hens Don Frerdick; this is the Pullet
We two went proud after.
Fred.
It cannot be.
Iohn.
It shall be;
Sister to Don Petruchio: I know all man.
Fred.
Now I beleeve.
Iohn.
Goe to, there has been stirring,
Fumbling with Linnen Fredrick.
Fred.
'Tis impossible,
You know her fame was pure as fire.
Ioh.
That pure fire
Has melted out her maiden-head: she is crackt:
We have all that hope of our side, boy.
Fred,
Thou tell'st me,
To my imagination, things incredible:
I see no loose thought in her.
Ioh.
That's all one,
She is loose ith' hilts by heaven: but the world must know
A faire way, upon vow of marriage.
Fred.
There may be such a slip.
Iohn.
And will be Fredrick.
Whil'st the old game's a foot: I feare the boy too
Will prove hers too I took up.
Fred.
Good circumstance
May cure all this yet.
Iohn.
There thou hitst it, Fredrick:
Come, let's walke in and comfort her: her being here
Is nothing yet suspected: anon Ile tell thee
Wherefore her brother came, who by this light
Is a brave noble fellow, and what honour
H'as done to me a stranger: there be Irons
Heating for some, will hisle into their heart blouds,
'Ere all be ended; so much for this time.
Fred.
Well sir.
Exeunt.
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