 | The Deuils Law-case. Or, When Women goe to Law, the Deuill is full of Businesse |  |
Actvs Qvintvs
Scena Prima.
Enter Iolenta, and Angiololla great bellied.Iolen.
How dost thou friend? welcome, thou and I
Were play-fellowes together, little children,
So small awhile agoe, that I presume,
We are neither of vs wise yet.
Angi.
A most sad truth on my part.
Iolen.
Why doe you plucke your vaile
Ouer your face?
Angio.
If you will beleeue truth,
There's nought more terrible to a guiltie heart,
As the eye of a respected friend.
Iol.
Say friend, are you quicke with child?
Angi.
Too sure.
Iol.
How could you know.
Of your first child when you quickned?
Angio.
How could you know friend?
Tis reported you are in the same taking.
Iolen.
Ha, ha, ha, so tis giuen out:
But Ercoles comming to life againe, has shrunke,
And made inuisible my great belly; ves faith,
My being with child was meerely in supposition,
Not practise.
Angio.
You are happy, what would I giue,
To be a Mayd againe?
Iolen.
Would you, to what purpose?
I would neuer giue great purchase for that thing
Is in danger euery houre to be lost: pray thee laugh.
A Boy or a Girle for a wager?
What heauen please.
Jolen.
Nay, nay, will you venter
A chaine of Pearle with me whether?
Angio.
Ile lay nothing,
I haue ventur'd too much for't already, my fame.
I make no question sister, you haue heard
Of the intended combate.
Iolen.
O what else?
I haue a sweet heart in't, against a brother.
Angio.
And I a dead friend, I feare; what good counsell
Can you minister vnto me?
Iolen.
Faith onely this,
Since there's no meanes i'th world to hinder it,
Let thou and I wench get as farre as we can
From the noyse of it.
Angio.
Whither?
Iolen.
No matter, any whither.
Angio.
Any whither, so you goe not by sea:
I cannot abide rough water.
Iolen.
Not indure to be tumbled? say no more then,
Weele be land-Souldiers for that tricke: take heart,
Thy boy shall be borne a braue Roman.
Angio.
O you meane to goe to Rome then.
Iol.
Within there. Beare this Letter
Enter a seruant
To the Lord Ercole. Now wench, I am for thee
All the world ouer.
Angio.
I like your shade pursue you.
Exeunt.
Enter Prospero, and Sanitonella.
Pros.
Well, I do not thinke but to see you as pretty a
piece of Law-flesh.
San.
In time I may,
Marry I am resolued to take a new way for't
You haue Lawyers take their Clients fees, & their backs
are no sooner turn'd, but they call them fooles, and laugh
at them.
Prosp.
That's ill done of them.
San.
There's one thing too that has a vild abuse in't.
Pro.
What's that?
San.
Marry this,
That no Proctor in the Terme time be tollerated to go to
the Tauerne aboue six times i'th forenoone.
Pros.
Why man?
Oh sir, it makes their Clients ouertaken,
And become friends sooner then they would be.
Enter Ercole with a letter, and Contarino comming in Friers habits, as hauing bin at the Bathanites, a Ceremony vsed afore these Combates.
Erco.
Leaue the Roome, Gentlemen.
Con.
Wherefore should I with such an obstinacy,
Conceale my selfe any longer. I am taught,
Con. speaks aside.
That all the blood which wil be shed to morrow,
Must fall vpon my head; one question
Shall fix it or vntie it: Noble brother,
I would faine know how it is possible,
When it appeares you loue the faire Iolenta
With such a height of feruor, you were ready
To father anothers child, and marry her,
You would so suddenly ingage your selfe,
To kill her brother, one that euer stood,
Your loyall and firme friend?
Erco.
Sir, Ile tell you,
My loue, as I haue formerly protested
To Contarino, whose vnfortunate end,
The traytor wrought: and here is one thing more,
Deads all good thoughts of him, which I now receiu'd
From Iolenta.
Cont.
In a Letter?
Erco.
Yes, in this Letter:
For hauing sent to her to be resolued
Most truely, who was father of the child,
Shee writes backe, that the shame she goes withall,
Was begot by her brother.
Cont.
O most incestious villaine.
Erc.
I protest, before I thought 'twas Contarinos Issue,
And for that would haue vail'd her dishonour.
Cont.
No more.
Has the Armorer brought the weapons?
Erco.
Yes sir.
Cont.
I will no more thinke of her.
Erco.
Of whom?
Of my mother, I was thinking of my mother.
Call the Armorer.
Exeunt.
Enter Surgeon, and Winifrid.
Win.
You doe loue me sir, you say?
Sur.
O most intirely.
Win.
And you will marry me?
Sur.
Nay, Ile doe more then that.
The fashion of the world is many times,
To make a woman naught, and afterwards
To marry her: but I a'th contrary,
Will make you honest first, and afterwards
Proceed to the wedlocke.
Win.
Honest, what meane you by that?
Sur.
I meane, that your suborning the late Law suite,
Has got you a filthy report: now there's no way,
But to doe some excellent piece of honesty,
To recouer your good name.
Win.
How sir?
Sur.
You shall straight goe, and reueale to your old
Mistris, for certaine truth, Contarino is aliue.
Win.
How, liuing?
Sur.
Yes, he is liuing.
Win.
No, I must not tell her of it.
Sur.
No, why?
Win.
For shee did bind me yesterday by oath,
Neuer more to speake of him.
Sur.
You shall reueale it then to Ariosto the Iudge.
Win.
By no meanes, he has heard me
Tell so many lyes ith Court, hee'l nere beleeue mee.
What if I told it to the Capuchin?
Sur.
You cannot think of a better; for as your yong Mr i s.
Who as you told me, has perswaded you,
To runne away with her: let her haue her humour.
I haue a suite Romelio left i'th house,
The habit of a Iew, that Ile put on,
And pretending I am robb'd, by breake of day,
Procure all Passengers to be brought backe,
And by the way reueale my selfe, and discouer
The Commicall euent. They say shee's a little mad,
This will helpe to cure her: goe, goe presently,
Win.
Sir, I shall
Exeunt.
Enter Julio, Prospero, and Sanitonella.
Iul.
A pox ont, I haue vndertaken the challenge very
foolishly: what if I doe not appeare to answer it?
Pro.
It would be absolute conuiction
Of Cowardice, and Periury; and the Dane,
May to your publike shame, reuerse your Armes,
Or haue them ignomiously fastned
Vnder his horse tayle.
Iul.
I doe not like that so well.
I see then I must fight whether I will or no.
Prosp.
How does Romelio beare himselfe? They say,
He has almost brain'd one of our cunningst Fencers,
That practisd with him.
Iul.
Very certaine; and now you talke of fencing,
Doe not you remember the Welsh Gentleman,
That was trauailing to Rome vpon returne?
Pros.
No, what of him?
Iul.
There was a strange experiment of a Fencer.
Pras.
What was that?
Jul.
The Welshman in's play, do what the Fencer could,
Hung still an arse; he could not for's life
Make him come on brauely: till one night at supper,
Obseruing what a deale of Parma cheese
His Scholler deuoured, goes ingeniously
The next morning, and makes a spacious button
For his foyle of tosted cheese, and as sure as you liue,
That made him come on the braueliest.
Pros.
Possible!
Iul.
Marry it taught him an ill grace in's play,
It made him gape still, gape as he put in for't,
As I haue seene some hungry Vsher.
San.
The tosting of it belike,
Was to make it more supple, had he chanc'd
To haue hit him a'th chaps.
Iul.
Not vnlikely. Who can tell me,
If we may breath in the Duell?
Pro.
By no meanes.
Nor drinke?
Pros.
Neither.
Iul.
That's scuruy, anger will make me very dry.
Pros.
You mistake sir, tis sorrow that is very dry.
San.
Not alwayes sir, I haue knowne sorrow very wet.
Iul.
In rainy weather.
San.
No, when a woman has come dropping wet
Out of a Cuckingstoole.
Iul.
Then twas wet indeed sir.
Enter Romelio very melancholly, and the Capuchin.
Cap.
Hauing from Leonoras Wayting-woman,
Deliuer'd a most strange Intelligence
Of Contarino's recouery, I am come
To sound Romelio's penitence; that perform'd,
To end these errours by discouering,
What shee related to me. Peace to you sir,
Pray Gentlemen, let the freedome of this Roome
Be mine a little. Nay sir, you may stay.
Exeunt Pro. San.
Will you pray with me?
Rom.
No, no, the world and I
Haue not made vp our accounts yet.
Cap.
Shall I pray for you?
Rom.
Whether you doe or no, I care not.
Cap.
O you haue a dangerous voyage to take.
Rom.
No matter, I will be mine owne Pilot:
Doe not you trouble your head with the businesse.
Cap.
Pray tell me, do not you meditate of death?
Rom.
Phew, I tooke out that Lesson,
When I once lay sicke of an Ague: I doe now
Labour for life, for life. Sir, can you tell me,
Whether your Tolledo, or your Millain Blade
Be best temper'd?
Cap.
These things you know, are out of my practice.
Rom.
But these are things you know,
I must practice with to morrow.
Cap.
Were I in your case,
I should present to my selfe strange shaddowes.
Rom.
Turne you, were I in your case,
I should laugh at mine one shadow.
Who has hired you to make me Coward?
I would make you a good Christian.
Rom.
Withall, let me continue
An honest man, which I am very certaine,
A coward can neuer be; you take vpon you
A Phisicians place, rather then a Diuines.
You goe about to bring my body so low,
I should fight i'th Lists to morrow like a Dormouse,
And be made away in a slumber.
Cap.
Did you murder Contarino?
Rom.
That's a scuruy question now.
Cap.
Why sir?
Rom.
Did you aske it as a Confessor, or as a spie?
Cap.
As one that faine would iustle the deuill
Out of your way.
Rom.
Vm, you are but weakly made for't:
Hee's a cunning wrastler, I can tell you, and has broke
many a mans necke.
Cap.
But to giue him the foyle, goes not by strength.
Rom.
Let it goe by what it will,
Get me some good victuals to breakfast, I am hungry.
Cap.
Here's food for you.
Offering him a Booke.
Rom.
Pew, I am not to commence Doctor:
For then the word, Deuoure that booke, were proper.
I am to fight, to fight sir, and Ile doo't,
As I would feed, with a good stomacke.
Cap.
Can you feed, and apprehend death?
Rom.
Why sir? Is not Death
A hungry companion? Say? is not the graue
Said to be a great deuourer? Get me some victuals.
I knew a man that was to loose his head,
Feed with an excellent good appetite,
To strengthen his heart, scarce halfe an houre before.
And if he did it, that onely was to speake,
What should I, that am to doe?
Cap.
This confidence,
If it be grounded vpon truth, tis well.
Rom.
You must vnderstand, that Resolution
Should euer wayt vpon a noble death,
As Captaines bring their Souldiers out o'th field,
The safest Trench i'th world to keepe man free
From Fortunes Gunshot; to be afraid of that,
Would proue me weaker then a teeming woman,
That does indure a thousand times more paine
In bearing of a child.
Cap.
O, I tremble for you:
For I doe know you haue a storme within you,
More terrible then a Sea-fight, and your soule
Being heretofore drown'd in securitie,
You know not how to liue, nor how to dye:
But I haue an obiect that shall startle you,
And make you know whither you are going.
Rom.
I am arm'd for't.
Enter Leonora with two Coffins borne by her seruants, and two Winding-sheets stucke with flowers, presents one to her sonne, and the other to Iulio.
Tis very welcome, this is a decent garment
Will neuer be out of fashion. I will kisse it.
All the Flowers of the Spring,
Meet to perfume our burying:
These haue but their growing prime,
And man does flourish but his time.
Suruey our progresse from our birth,
We are set, we grow, we turne to earth.
Courts adieu, and all delights,
Soft Musicke.
All bewitching appetites;
Sweetest Breath, and clearest eye,
Like perfumes goe out and dye;
And consequently this is done,
As shadowes wait vpon the Sunne.
Vaine the ambition of Kings,
Who seeke by trophies and dead things,
To leaue a liuing name behind
And weaue but nets to catch the wind:
O you haue wrought a myracle, and melted
A heart of Adamant, you haue compris'd
In this dumbe Pageant, a right excellent forme
Of penitence.
Cap.
I am glad you so receiue it.
This obiect does perswade me to forgiue
to his mother
The wrong she has don me, which I count the way
To be forgiuen yonder: and this Shrowd
Shewes me how rankly we doe smel of earth,
When we are in all our glory. Will it please you
Enter that Closet, where I shall confer
Bout matters of most waightie consequence,
Before the Duell.
Exit Leonora.
Iul.
Now I am right in the Bandileere for th'gallows.
What a scuruy fashion tis, to hang ones coffin in a scarfe?
Cap.
Why this is well:
And now that I haue made you fit for death,
And brought you euen as low as is the graue,
I will raise you vp agen speake comforts to you
Beyond your hopes, turne this intended Duell
To a triumph.
Rom.
More Diuinitie yet?
Good sir, doe one thing first, there's in my Closet
A Prayer booke that is couer'd with guilt Vellom,
Fetch it, and pray you certifie my mother,
Ile presently come to her.
So now you are safe.
Lockes him into a Closet.
Jul.
What haue you done?
Rom.
Why I haue lockt them vp
Into a Turret of the Castle safe enough,
For troubling vs this foure houres; and he please,
He may open a Casement, and whistle out to 'the Sea,
Like a Boson, not any creature can heare him.
Wast not thou a weary of his preaching?
Iul.
Yes, if he had had an houre-glasse by him,
I would haue wisht him he would haue ioggd it a little.
But your mother, your mother's lockt in to.
Rom.
So much the better,
I am rid of her howling at parting.
Iul.
Harke, he knocks to be let out and he were mad.
Rom.
Let him knocke till his Sandals flie in pieces.
Iul.
Ha, what sayes he? Contarino liuing?
Rom.
I, I, he meanes he would haue Contarino's liuing
Bestowed vpon his Monastery, 'tis that
We shall be call'd to the combate presently.
Iul.
I am sory for one thing.
Rom.
What's that?
Iul.
That I made not mine owne Ballad: I doe feare
I shall be roguishly abused in Meerer,
If I miscarry. Well, if the young Capuchin
Doe not talke a'th flesh as fast now to your mother,
As he did to vs a'th spirit; if he doe,
Tis not the first time that the prison royall
Has been guiltie of close committing.
Rom.
Now to'th Combate.
Enter Capuchin and Leonora aboue at a window.
Leon.
Contarino liuing?
Cap.
Yes Madam, he is liuing, and Ercoles Second.
Leo.
Why has he lockt vs vp thus?
Cap.
Some euill Angell
Makes him deafe to his owne safetie, we are shut
Into a Turret, the most desolate prison
Of all the Castle, and his obstinacy,
Madnesse, or secret fate, has thus pretended,
The sauing of his life.
Leo.
Oh the sauing Contarino's,
His is worth nothing: for heauens sake call lowder.
Cap.
To little purpose.
Leo.
I will leape these Battlements,
And may I be found dead time enough,
To hinder the combate.
Cap.
Oh looke vpwards rather,
Their deliuerance must come thence: to see how heauen,
Can inuert mans firmest purpose: his intent
Of murthering Contarino, was a meane
To worke his safety, and my comming hither
To saue him, is his ruine: wretches turne
The tide of their good fortune, and being drencht
In some presumptuous and hidden sinnes,
While they aspire to doe themselues most right,
The deuil that rules ith ayre, hangs in their light.
Leo.
Oh they must not be lost thus; some good christian
come within our hearing: ope the other casement that
looks into the citie.
Cap.
Madam, I shall.
Exeunt.
Mar.
Giue the Appealant his Summons, doe the like
To the Defendant.
Two Tuckets by souerall Trumpets.
Enter at one doore, Ercole and Contarino, at the other, Romelio and Julio.
Can any of you alledge ought, why the Combate
Should not proceed?
Combatants.
Nothing.
Ario.
Haue the Knights weighed.
And measured their weapons?
Mar.
They haue.
Ario.
Proceed then to the battell, and may heauen
Determine the right.
Herauld.
Soit le Battaile, et Victory a ceux que droit.
Rom.
Stay, I doe not well know whither I am going:
'Twere needfull therefore, though at the last gaspe,
To haue some Church mans prayer. Run I pray thee,
To Castle Nouo; this key will release
A Capuchin and my mother, whom I shut
Into a Turret, bid them make hast, and pray
I may be dead ere he comes. Now, Victory a coux que droit.
All the Champ. Victory accux que droit. The Combate continued to a good length, when enters Leonora, and the Capuchin.
Leon.
Hold, hold, for heauens sake hold.
Ari.
What are these that in errupt the combate?
Away to prison with them.
Cap.
We haue been prisoners too long:
Oh sir, what meane you? Contarino's liuing.
Erco.
Liuing!
Cap.
Behold him liuing.
Erco.
You were but now my second, now I make you
My selfe for euer.
Leon.
Oh here's one betweene,
Claimes to be neerer.
Cont.
And to you deare Lady,
I haue entirely vowed my life.
Rom.
If I doe not dreame, I am happy to.
Ario.
How insolently has this high Court of Honor
Beene abused!
Ario.
How now, who are these?
2. Sur.
A couple of strange Fowle, and I the Falconer,
That haue sprung them. This is a white Nun,
Of the Order of Saint Clare; and this a blacke one,
Youle take my word for't.
Discouers Iolenta.
Ario.
Shee's a blacke one indeed.
Jolen.
Like or dislike me, choose you whether,
The Downe vpon the Rauens feather,
Is a gentle and as sleeke,
As the Mole on Uenus cheeke.
Hence vaine shew, I onely care,
To preserue my Soule most faire.
Neuer mind the outward skin,
But the Iewell that's within:
And though I want the crimson blood,
Angels boast my Sister-hood.
Which of vs now iudge you whiter,
Her whose credit proues the lighter,
Or this blacke, and Ebon hew,
That vnstain'd, keeps fresh and true:
For I proclaim't without controle,
There's no true beauty, but ith Soule.
Erco.
Oh tis the faire Iolenta; to what purpose
Are you thus ecclipst?
Iol.
Sir, I was running away
From the rumour of this Combate: I fled likewise,
From the vntrue report my brother spread
To his politicke ends, that I was got with child.
Leon.
Cease here all further scruteny, this paper
Shall giue vnto the Court each circumstance,
Of all these passages.
Ario.
No more: attend the Sentence of the Court.
Rarenesse and difficultie giue estimation
To all things are i'th world: you haue met both
In these seuerall passages: now it does remaine,
That these so Comicall euents be blasted
With no seueritie of Sentence: You Romelio,
Who stood your Second, all those Obligations,
Wherein he stands engaged to you,
Receiuing onely the principall.
Rom.
I shall my Lord.
Iul.
I thanke you,
I haue an humour now to goe to Sea
Against the Pyrats; and my onely ambition,
Is to haue my Ship furnisht with a rare consort
Of Musicke; and when I am pleased to be mad,
They shall play me Orlando.
San.
You must lay wait for the Fidlers,
Theyle flye away from the presse like Watermen.
Ario.
Next, you shall marry that Nun.
Rom.
Most willingly.
Angio.
Oh sir, you haue been vnkind;
But I doe onely wish, that this my shame,
May warne all honest Virgins, not to seeke
The way to Heauen, that is so wondrous steepe,
Through those vowes they are too fraile to keepe.
Ario.
Contarino, and Romelio, and your selfe,
Shall for seuen yeares maintaine against the Turke,
Six Gallaies. Leonora, Iolenta,
And Angiolella there the beautious Nun,
For their vowes breach vnto the Monastery,
Shall build a Monastery. Lastly, the two Surgeons,
For concealing Contarino's recouery,
Shall exercise their Art at their owne charge,
For a tweluemonth in the Gallies: so we leaue you,
Wishing your future life may make good vse
Of these euents, since that these passages,
Which threatned ruine, built on rotten ground,
Are with successe beyond our wishes crown'd.
Exeunt Omnes.
FINIS.
| The Deuils Law-case. Or, When Women goe to Law, the Deuill is full of Businesse | |