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Chalcographimania

or, the Portrait-Collector and Printseller's Chronicle, with Infatuations of euery Description. A humorous poem in four books. With copious notes explanatory. By Satiricus Sculptor [i.e. S. W. H. Ireland]
  
  
  
  

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CHALCOGRAPHIMANIANS.
  
  
  
  
  

CHALCOGRAPHIMANIANS.

From those who cater for each buyer,
The Muse shall wing her flight still higher,
And on page Chalcographian trace,
Those names renown'd assuming place
In sage Collectors envied band,
Where Catalogus takes his stand.

132

First in the ranks our nation's queen ,
A Chalcographian dame is seen,
Yet though she buys is always wary,
Of precious money passing chary.
Eliza, Britain's princess too ,
Stands register'd among my crew:

133

Of prints she boasts full many lots,
And shows whole legions of tea-pots,
And daily would add more and more,
Had she of cash sufficient store.
And thou departed Br---nd appear ,
To add fresh lustre to my sphere,
Thou who alike would'st buy and sell,
As Catalogus knows full well.

134

Come let me lead thee by the hand,
From Gow'r Street noted S---th---l---nd ,
Where lost in Chalcographian cares,
Thy mind forgets rough Russian Bears,
Of which as chief thou mak'st an halt,
For porridge gaining stores of salt.
Next sapient B---ndl---y bearing stamp ,
For Chalcography naught can damp,

135

Come and illume my learned page,
Endowed with scientific rage;
For if experience e'er was known,
To rear in mind sound judgment's throne,
Thou may'st dominion justly claim,
And boast the blooming wreath of Fame.
D---dsw---ll with pain I now recall ,
Fell fate, that robb'd thee of thine all,
I mean those stores that fell a prey,
To raging fire's consuming sway,

136

Whose loss made Catalogus sigh,
While tears distill'd from either eye.
Stor'd with the reading of the schools,
Moves D---ce great chronicler of fools ,

137

And warm'd by Sp---nc---r kindred peer,
Behold his Gr---ce of D---sh---re ,

138

Who better merited commending,
While on collections thousands spending,

139

Than losing weighty sums at play,
With Y---m---th's Lord thus fool'd away.
Lo! hobbling B---ng quite antiquated ,
Long harbour mind infuriated,
Whene'er he hear of dainty food,
Black-letter tract with cut in wood;

140

Not so P---ge T---rn---r, baronet ,
Whom venders all gave direful sweat;
Printsellers fam'd, arch picture-dealers,
With other pickers fell, and stealers,
Who did on purse as furious pounce,
As on its prey remorseless Ounce,
Which plac'd him on repentance stool,
Wherefore he plays no more the fool.

141

Lord Oss---lt---n I now pen lays on ,
Who Grammont's history must emblazon;
That cit-like takes especial pride,
Procuring portraits in Cheap-side,
Or rather bearing stores away,
Ne'er thinking of due payment's day.
Great C---sw---y known by sirname Dick ,
Whose affectation makes men sick,

142

With confidence of Raphael, struts,
And leg in folly's mire oft puts;

143

As proud in sharing Bl---ndf---rd's nod,
As if the Marquis were a God.
His toil hath been to imitate,
A Rubens' style,—sublimely great,
Nay frenzy caus'd such mind's expansion,
He needs would buy the Antwerp mansion,
But dearth in purse the wish repelling,
Ejected Dicky from said dwelling.
What dame now lists my knight's professions,
'Tis B---nks, collector of processions ,

144

Sir J---s---h's, sister whose renown
Makes Catalogus low bend down,
And in true token of—“his duty,
“Honour the shadow of her shoe-tie.”
Now comes a niggard child of earth,
From Queen's Square, stingy H---ll---ngs---rth ,

145

Who spends as free in heaping store,
As Jew would give to Christian poor;
And hath a brain so passing fecund,
He knows First Charles preceded Second;
But as to vouching for aught more
On his research I close the door;
And while I thus wield probing pen,
On fam'd collectors acumen,

146

Some lines instructive here may tend,
To prove I labour to befriend
Mine hero, whom I now endite to,
And urg'd by common sense—thus write to.
 

Her Majesty is a collector for Granger, and possesses many valuable Chalcographian specimens. Her method of purchasing however is not after the manner of Catalogus, as the Queen, although fond of portraits, has no less an eye to the value of Mr. Hase's Threadneedle impressions. From a channel upon which I can rely, I have been informed that had not the present melancholy change occurred in the state of our gracious Monarch's mental sanity, it was his intention to have commenced collector, in which case, from the few purchases he had made, there is no doubt but that liberality would have characterized his conduct in the prosecution of this pursuit.

This Princess possesses all the spirit of collecting, and would willingly multiply her stores with increased celerity, did she possess in a greater degree the means of gratifying her predilection. In addition to prints, old china tea-pots, I have also been informed, constitute another hobby-horse of this distinguished personage, whose liberal spirit claims the sincere wish on my part that success may crown her utmost expectations.

The above clerical character, who was the dupe of J---y S---tt, as I have before noticed, began his collecting career at a very early period; consequently the rarest specimens of Chalcography passed through his hands. He was however mean in purchasing, and as complete a Print-Trader as any one who publicly professes himself a buyer and seller of such commodities.

Mr. S---n---d, who has of late figured prominently as an Illustrator of Clarendon and Burnet, is Pr---s---d---nt of the R---ss---n company. In purchasing however he has become cautious, having at the commencement of his mania been sufficiently bitten by the Scottish Tarantula.

This gentleman to whom I have dedicated my volume, is possessed of Chalcographian and Bibliomanian stores, which are perhaps unrivalled both for quantity and excellence in quality. On the score of sound judgment no collector will hesitate to allow him to possess unrivalled pre-eminence. The writer therefore cannot better wind up the present note, than by wishing him a long continuance of health to enjoy the collection which he has accumulated with so much industry and perseverance.

Since the fatal event above recorded, which robbed this officer of his superb collection, he seems to have relinquished all idea of recommencing Chalcographian. Should the mania however once more take place, I wish him success in the undertaking.

Mr. D---ce, who has long figured in the annals of collecting, has also rendered himself conspicuous in the literary world, by publishing the work referred to in the above line, and I have only to regret that my absence from England at the period when the work in question was preparing for the press, prevented me from giving Mr. D--- some information, which might have met his approbation. Perhaps even the loan of the unique cut of Will Summers, from which the plate accompanying the present volume is executed, would not have been inconsequential to Mr. D---e, as affording a complete specimen of the costume of that jester at the period of Henry the Eighth. I certainly have to regret that the pamphlet, which in all probability belonged to the print, does not accompany the plate in question. It is scarcely known that an original picture, painted upon the finest cambric, is now at Alihorpe, the seat of Earl Spencer, representing Henry the Eighth and Catherine of Arragon, with Will Summers the jester, appearing between them, which elating to the Fools of the Great, would have been applicable to Mr. D---s purpose. This gentleman is possessed of many very choice and valuable articles, particularly in old French literature; his conduct has uniformly displayed a correctness of judgment and the most refined taste, while his manners, though apparently reserved, evince every characteristic of the complete gentleman.

His grace, who purchased the B---p of E---y's library, as well as that of a foreign nobleman, is reported to have lost very heavy sums of L---d Y---th, a circumstance which created much astonishment in my mind, as I did imagine that this elevated nobleman would have spurned all association with a personage whose delight is to attend Milling-Matches and Cock-Fights, while his society consists of such individuals as L---d B---ym---e, the lately executed Slender Billy, Cribb Molineux, Gulley, and Bill Gibbons. As for the loss of his rib, formerly Mademoiselle F---n---ni, who was claimed by two fathers, and preferred the embraces of G---l J---n---t to those of her fiery-whiskered husband; his L---ds---p makes up for his loss by constantly attending Duke's Place, &c. where he finds all his desires gratified.

As I have made mention of Bill Gibbons, I will now, by way of exposing the degradation of our nobility, subjoin an anecdote which is absolutely a matter of fact: Gibbons having a dog which he wanted to shew to the M---q---s of H---nt---y, son of the D--- of G---rd---n and his late D---ke-catching D---ch---ss, called at the mansion, where he found two very respectable tradesmen attending in the hall. Bill, addressing one of the footmen, said, that he knew the Marquis was at home and wanted to see him, adding, that his name was Bill Gibbons. The tone and manner of this applicant being extremely flippant or kiddyish, the attendant hesitated, when Billy, who was not to be put off, continued thus: “Come, do you choose to go or not; for by G---d if you keep me waiting, D---me but I'll kick up a hell of a clatter in the house.” The footman accordingly went to his noble master, saying, that a man named Gibbons wanted to see him. “Mr. Gibbons, I suppose you mean,” replied his lordship, “show him up immediately.” Accordingly up went Bill, who told the M---rq---is what had happened in the hall, when—wonderful to relate—the nobleman ordered up his two attendants and discharged them: but, upon the intercession of Gibbons, they were replaced. Well may we exclaim, O tempora! O mores!

The H---nbl--- individual here mentioned, who was a Peer of the Realm, possessed a few such choice articles as The Paradise of Dainty Devices, and Walton's Angler, the best edition, with Lombart's plates, for the latter of which he never remembered to pay the dealer from whom he purchased it, so far back as the year 1798.

Our young B---r---n---l, who is not only litigious, but meanness personified, was some time back seized with a universal cacoëthes, at which period his hall was every day crowded with venders of birds, beasts, shells, armour, stained glass, pictures, prints, insects, reptiles, with a string of et cæteræ that would fill an atlas folio; but having been most completely imposed upon, and well knowing the value of money, he on a sudden closed his doors upon these harpies, who are thus debarred from plucking their dainty pigeon. Be it remembered however, that many of these Nicknackatarians are not paid to the present hour, while others are involved in law-suits for the procurement of their demands.

The peer in question, who is occupied in illustrating the Memoirs of Grammont during his residence in England at the period of Charles II. is renowned for leaving his name during a long period upon the ledgers of the printselling tribe. The cause of his lordship's predilection for the above work is said to be on account of his wife, who claims alliance with the Grammont family.

Mr. R---ch---rd C---sw---y, royally denominated Dirty Dicky, ranks bosom-friend with the son of the D---e of M---lb---gh, in proof of which our miniature-painter always fills the card-racks on either side of the chimney-piece with notes and cards penned by that noble personage. The mania of this artist is to possess impressions from all Rubens' performances; of which he has not unfrequently availed himself in making his own designs, and to such a pitch was this predilection carried, that he actually wanted to purchase the mansion at Antwerp, which that sublime painter inhabited, but was prevented for the cogent reason assigned on the opposite page. This however is not the only instance of Dicky's cacoëthes, whose eccentric brain, crammed with all the visionary chimeras of Jacob Behmen, Swedenborg, and other fantastic unravellers of fate, may well rank upon a par with Doctor Faustus of the Cheshire Nixon, so that he is little better than a Mother Shipton in male attire. As I have in this note treated upon the subject of particular predilections, I will again record the name of Mr. Samuel Ireland, who was devoted to the works of Hogarth and Mortimer, both oil paintings and drawings as well as prints: indeed so great was his collection of the first mentioned artist's productions, that he had only one competitor for the palm of victory, in the person of the old Earl of Exeter, who died prior to the last inheritor of that title.

This lady, who possesses an excellent disposition, has a taste for processions of every description, for which she is in the habit of paying very liberally; while another female collector is to be seen in the person of Mrs. Fl---xm---n, wife of the celebrated statuary, who is doatingly fond of every pictorial performance from the pencil of the justly celebrated Stothard.

Having made mention of a statuary, I will here record the name of G---h---g---n, the sculptor, who is bitten with the bust madness, which he has pursued with unparalleled avidity, not having modelled less than two hundred, nor be it forgotten that in hitting off likenesses, he is particularly fortunate, witness the Bust of Lord Nelson, who never sat to any artist but G---h---g---n, whom he attended seven times for that purpose, being most particularly anxious that every lineament should prove the precise type of its original.

Mr. H---th, who is in pursuit of choice specimens of Marc Antonio, and all the Italian artists, is guided in purchasing by the puffs that appear in the catalogues, his own judgment not being sufficient to detect a retouched impression, which he will purchase for a really fine one.

As I have been speaking of particular manias, that of collecting caricatures must not be neglected, the most masterly specimens of Chalcography having issued from the shop of Miss Humphries, in Saint James's Street, being the production of Gillwray's prolific genius, who might even rank in his line upon a par with Hogarth himself. The present unfortunate mental derangement of that artist, may consequently be regarded as a serious event in the annals of Caricature Collecting.