University of Virginia Library

Lib. II

Prologue.

Or bene the Manes of that Cynick spright,
Cloth'd with some stubburn clay & led to light?
Or do the relique ashes of his graue
Reuiue and rise from their forsaken caue?
That so with gall-weet words and speeches rude,
Controls the maners of the multitude.
Enuie belike incites his pining heart,
And bids it sate it selfe with others smart.
Nay, no dispight: but angry Nemesis,
Whose scourge doth follow all that done amsse:
That scourge I beare, albe in ruder fist,
And wound, and strike, and pardon whom she list

SAT. I.

[For shame write better Labeo, or write none]

For shame write better Labeo, or write none,
Or better write, or Labeo write alone.
Nay, call the Cynick but a wittie foole,
Thence to abiure his handsome drinking bole:
Because the thirstie swaine with hollow hand,
Conueyd the streame to weet his drie weasand.
Write they that can, tho they that cannot doe:
But who knowes that, but they that doe not know?
Lo what it is that makes white rags so deare,
That men must giue a teston for a queare.
Lo what it is that makes goose-wings so scant,
That the distressed Semster did them want.
So, lauish ope-tide causeth fasting lents,
And staruling Famine comes of large expence.
Might not (so they were pleasd that beene aboue)
Long Paper-abstinence our dearth remoue?
Then many a Loller would in forfaitment,
Beare Paper-fagots ore the Pauement,
But now men wager who shall blot the most,
And each man writes: Ther's so much labour lost.
That's good, that's great: Nay much is seldome well,
Of what is bad, a littl's a great deale.
Better is more; but best is nought at all.
Lesse is the next, and lesser criminall.
Little and good, is greatest good saue one,
Then Labeo, or write little, or write none.
Tush in small paines can be but little art,
Or lode full drie-fats fro the forren mart:
With Folio-volumes, two to an Oxe hide,
Or else ye Pampheter go stand a side,
Read in each schoole, in euery margent coted,
In euery Catalogue for an autour noted.
Ther's happinesse well giuen, and well got,
Lesse gifts, and lesser gaines I weigh them not.
So may the Giant rome and write on high,
Be he a Dwarfe that writes not there as I,
But well fare Strabo, which as stories tell,
Contriu'd all Troy within one Walnut shell.
His curious Ghost now lately hither came,
Arriuing neere the mouth of luckie Tame.
I saw a Pismire strugling with the lode,
Dragging all Troy home towards her abode.
Now dare we hither, if he durst appeare,
The subtile Stithy-man that liu'd while care:
Such one was once, or once I was mistaught,
A Smith at Vulcan his owne forge vp brought,
That made an Iron-chariot so light,
The coach-horse was a Flea in trappings dight.
The tame-lesse steed could well his wagon wield,
Through downes and dales of the vneuen field.
Striue they, laugh we: mean while the Black-smiths toy
Passes new Strabo, and new Straboes Troy.
Little for great: and great for good all one:
For shame or better write, or Labeo write none.
But who coniur'd this bawdie Poggies ghost,
From out the stewes of his lewde home-bred coast:
Or wicked Rablais dronken reuellings,
To grace the mis-rule of our Tauernings?
Or who put Bayes into blinde Cupids fist,
That he should crowne what Laureats him list?
Whose wordes are those, to remedie the deed,
That cause men stop their noses when they read?
Both good things ill, and ill things well: all one?
For shame write cleanly Labeo, or write none.

SAT II.

[To what ende did our lauish auncestours]

To what ende did our lauish auncestours,
Erect of olde these stately piles of ours?
For thred-bare clerks, & for the ragged Muse
Whom better fit some cotes of sad secluse,
Blush niggard Age, and be asham'd to see,
These monuments of wiser ancestrie.
And ye faire heapes the Muses sacred shrines,
(In spight of time and enuious repines)
Stand still, and flourish till the worlds last day,
Vpbrayding it with former loues decay.
Here may ye Muses, our deare Soueraines,
Scorne ech base Lordling euer you disdaines,
And euery peasant churle, whose smoky roofe
Denied harbour for your deare behoofe.
Scorne ye the world before it do complaine,
And scorne the world that scorneth you againe.
And scorne contempt it selfe, that doth incite
Each single-sold squire to set you at so light.
What needs me care for any bookish skill,
To blot white papers with my restlesse quill:
Or poare on painted leaues: or beate my braine
With far-fetcht thoughts: or to consume in vaine
In later Euen, or mids of winter nights,
Ill smelling oyles, or some still-watching lights.
Let them that meane by bookish businesse
To earne their bread: or hopen to professe
Their hard got skill: let them alone for mee,
Busie their braines with deeper bookerie.
Great gaines shall bide you sure, when ye haue spent
A thousand Lamps: & thousand Reames haue rent.
Of needlesse papers, and a thousand nights
Haue burned out with costly candlelights.
Ye palish ghosts of Athens; when at last,
Your patrimonie spent in witlesse wast,
Your friends all wearie, and your spirits spent,
Ye may your fortunes seeke: and be forwent
Of your kind cosins: and your churlish sires,
Left there alone mids the fast-folding Briers.
Haue not I lands of faire inheritance,
Deriu'd by right of long continuance,
To first-borne males, so lift the law to grace,
Natures first fruits in euiternall race?
Let second brothers, and poore nestlings,
Whom more iniurious Nature later brings
Into the naked world: let them assaine
To get hard peny-worths with bootlesse paine.
Tush? what care I to be Arcesilas,
Or some sowre Solon, whose deep-furrowed face.
And sullen head, and yellow-clouded sight,
Still on the stedfast earth are musing pight.
Muttring what censures their distracted minde,
Of brain-sicke Paradoxes deeply hath definde:
Or Parmenides, or of darke Heraclite,
Whether all be one, or ought be infinite.
Long would it be, ere thou had'st purchase bought
Or wealthier wexen by such idle thought.
Fond foole, six feete shall serue for all thy store:
And he that cares for most, shall finde no more.
We scorne that wealth should be the finall end,
Whereto the heauenly Muse her course doth bend:
And rather had be pale with learned cares,
Then paunched with thy choyce of changed fares
Or doth thy glory stand in outward glee,
A laue-ear'd Asse with gold may trapped bee:
Or if in pleasure: liue we as we may:
Let swinish Grill delight in dunghill clay.

SAT. III.

[Who doubts? the lawes fel down frō heauēs height]

Who doubts? the lawes fel down frō heauēs height
Like to some gliding starre in winters night.
Themis the Scribe of God did long agone,
Engraue them deepe in during Marble-stone,
And cast them downe on this vnruly clay,
That men might know to rule and to obey.
But now their Characters depraued bin,
By them that would make gaine of others sin.
And now hath wrong so maistered the right,
That they liue best, that on wrongs offall light,
So loathly flye that liues on galled wound,
And scabby festers inwardly vnsound,
Feedes fatter with that poysnous carrion,
Then they that haunt the heelthy lims alone.
Wo to the weale where mane Lawiers bee,
For there is sure much store of maladie.
T'was truely said, and truely was forseene,
The fat kine are deuoured of the leane.
Genus and Species long since barefoote went,
Vpon their ten toes in wild wanderment:
Whiles father Bartell on his footcloth rode,
Vpon high pauement gayly siluer-strowd.
Each home-bred science percheth in the chaire,
Whiles sacred arts grouell on the groundsell bare.
Since pedling Barbarismes gan be in request,
Nor classicke tongues, nor learning found no rest.
The crowching Client, with low-bended knee,
And many Worships, and faire flatterie,
Tels on his tale as smoothly as him list,
But still the Lawiers eye squints on his fist:
If that seeme lined with a larger fee,
Doubt not the suite, the lawe is plaine for thee.
Tho must he buy his vainer hope with price,
Disclout his crownes, and thanke for his aduise
So haue I seene in a tempestuous stowre,
Some breer-bush shewing shelter from the showre
Vnto the hopefull sheepe, that faine would hide
His fleecie coate from that same angry tide.
The ruth-lesse breere regardlesse of his plight,
Layes hold vpon the fleece he should acquite,
And takes aduantage of the carelesse pray.
That thought she in securer shelter lay.
The day is fayre, the sheepe would fare to feed:
The tyrant Brier holds fast his shelters meed,
And claymes it for the fee of his defence:
So robs the sheepe, in fauours faire pretence.

SAT. 4

[VVorthy were Galen to be weigh'd in Gold]

VVorthy were Galen to be weigh'd in Gold,
Whose helpe doth sweetest life & health vphold
Yet by S. Esculape he solemne swore,
That for diseases they were neuer more.
Fees neuer lesse, neuer so little gaine,
Men giue a groat, and aske the rest againe.
Groats-worth of health, can any leech allot?
Yet should he haue no more that giues a grote.
Should I on each sicke pillow leane my brest,
And grope the pulse of euerie mangie wrest:
And spie out maruels in each Vrinall:
And tumble vp the filths that from them fall,
And giue a Dose for euery disease,
In prescripts long, and tedious Recipes:
All for so leane reward of Art and mee?
No Hors-leach but will looke for larger fee.
Meane while if chance some desp'rate patient die,
Cum'n to the Period of his destinie:
(As who can crosse the fatall resolution,
In the decreed day of dissolution:)
Whether ill tendment, or recure lesse paine,
Procure his death; the neighbors straight complaine
Th'vnskilfull leech murdred his patient,
By poyson of some foule Ingredient.
Here-on the vulgar may as soone be brought
To Socrates-his poysoned Hemlock-drought,
As to a wholsome Iulep, whose receat
Might his diseases lingring force defeat.
If nor a dramme of Triacle soueraigne,
Or Aqua vitæ, or Sugar Candian,
Nor Kitchin-cordials can it remedie,
Certes his time is come, needs mought he die.
Were I a leech, as who knowes what may bee,
The liberall man should liue, and carle should die.
The sickly Ladie, and the goutie Peere
Still would I haunt, that loue their life so deere.
Where life is deare who cares for coyned drosse?
That spent, is counted gaine, and spared, losse:
Or would coniure the Chymick Mercurie,
Rise from his hors-dung bed, and vpwards flie:
And with glas-stils, and sticks of Iuniper,
Raise the Black-spright that burns not with the fire:
And bring Quintessence of Elixir pale,
Out of sublimed spirits minerall.
Each poudred graine ransometh captiue Kings,
Purchaseth Realmes, and life prolonged brings.

SAT. V.

[Saw'st thou euer Siquis patch'd on Pauls Church dore]

Saw'st thou euer Siquis patch'd on Pauls Church dore,
To seeke some vacant Vicarage before?
Who wants a Churchman, that can seruice sey,
Read fast, and faire, his monthly Homiley?
And wed, and bury, and make Christen-soules?
Come to the leftside Alley of Saint Poules.
Thou seruile Foole: why could'st thou not repaire
To buy a Benefice at Steeple-Faire?
There moughtest thou for but a slender price,
Aduouson thee with some fat benefice:
Or if thee list not wait for dead mens shoo'n,
Nor pray ech-morn th'Incūbents daies were doone
A thousand Patrons thither ready bring,
Their new-falne Churches to the Chaffering,
Stake three yeares Stipend: no man asketh more:
Go take possession of the Church-porch-doore:
And ring the bels: lucke stroken in thy fist:
The Parsonage is thine, or ere thou wist.
Saint Fooles of Gotam mought thy parish bee,
For this thy base and seruile Symonie.

SAT. VI.

[A gentle Squire woulde glodly intertayne]

A gentle Squire woulde glodly intertayne
Into his house, some Trencher-Chapplaine:
Some willing man that might instruct his sons,
And that would stand to good conditions.
First that he sie vpon the Truckle-bed,
Whiles his yong maister lieth ore his hed.
Secondly, that he doe, on no default,
Euer presume to sit aboue the salt.
Third, that he neuer change his Trenchertwise.
Fourth, that he vse all cumely courtesies:
Sit bare at meales, and one haulfe rise and waite,
Last, that he neuer his young master beate,
But he must aske his mother to define,
How many ierkes, she would his breech should line,
All those obseru'd, he could contented bee,
To giue fiue markes, and winter liuery.

SAT. VI.

[In th'heauens vniuersall Alphabet]

In th'heauens vniuersall Alphabet,
All earthly things so surely are foreset,
That who can read those figures, may foreshew
What euer thing shall afterwards ensue.
Faine would I know (might it out Artist please)
Why can his tell-troth Ephemerides
Teach him the weathers state so long beforne:
And not foretell him, nor his fatall horne,
Nor his deaths-day, nor no such sad euent,
Which he mought wisely labour to preuent?
Thou damned mock art, and thou brainsick tale,
Of olde Astrology: where didst thou vaile
Thy cursed head thus long: that so it mist
The black bronds of some sharper Satyrist.
Some doting gossip mongst the Chaldee wiues,
Did to the credulous world thee first deriue:
And superstition nurs'd thee euer since,
And publisht in profounder Arts pretence:
That now who pares his nailes, or libs his swine,
But he must first take counsell of the signe.
So that the Vulgars count, for faire or foule,
For liuing or for dead, for sicke or whole:
His feare or hope, for plentie or for lacke,
Hangs all vpon his New-yeares Almanacke.
If chance once in the spring his head should ake:
It was foretold: Thus saies mine Almanacke.
In th'heauens High-streete are but a dozen roomes,
In which dwels all the world, past and to come:
Twelue goodly Innes they are, with twelue fayre signes,
Euer well tended by our Star-diuines.
Euery mans head Innes at the horned Ramme,
The whiles the necke the Black-buls guest became:
Th'arms by good hap, meet at the wrastling twinns,
Th'heart in thee way at the Blew-lion innes.
The legs their lodging in Aquarius got,
That is Bridge street of the heauen, I wot.
The feete tooke vp the Fish with teeth of gold:
But who with Scorpio log'd, may not be told.
What office then doth the Star-gazar beare?
Or let him be the heauens Ostelere:
Or Tapsters some, or some be Chamberlaines.
To waite vpon the gueste they entertaine.
Hence can they reade, by vertue of their trade,
When any thing is mist where it was laide.
Hence they diuine, and hence they can deuise:
If their ayme faile, the Stars to moralize.
Demon my friend once liuer-sicke of loue,
Thus learn'd I by the signes his griefe remoue.
In the blinde Archer first I saw the signe,
When thou receiu'dst that wilfull wound of thine;
And now in Uirgo is that cruel mayde,
Which hath not yet with loue thy loue repaide.
But marke when once it comes to Gemini,
Straight way Fish-whole shall thy sicke liuer be.
But now (as th'angry Heauens seeme to threat)
Many hard fortunes, and disastres great:
If chance it come to wanton Capicorne,
And so into the Rams disgracefull horne,
Then learne thou of the vgly Scorpion,
To hate her for her foule abusion:
Thy refuge then the Ballance be of Right,
Which shall thee from thy broken bond acquite:
So with the Crab go backe whence thou began,
From thy first match: and liue a single man.