University of Virginia Library

"Deadman's Dash"

To the left and down a long
flight of steps, we approach the
second pitfall. Extending from the
base of the steps to the mailbox
(just outside Cabell Hall), there's
the stretch veterans call
"Deadman's Dash" where failure to
yield the right of way to motor
vehicles can lead to disaster. At the
mailbox, enter Swamp Area No. 2,
a mucky morass, the result of the
faulty balance of students who
were unable to maneuver
successfully around Buildings &
Grounds Track No. 38 blocking the
sidewalk.

If you happen to be an English
major or at least, somewhat
concerned about that last ENWR I
paper, and have made the scenic
jaunt over to Wilson Hall, you may
have been lucky enough to catch a
glimpse of your fading childhood;
for there, just outside the building,
is your old, rusted, broken down
swing set. Yes, there in all its long
lost glory, your former status
symbol lies in shambles on the
ground, recast as some brilliant form
of art.

Surely the sculptor intended for
us to reflect on our past and
remember those swing sets for what
they really were-monumental
instruments of destruction-an
obvious plot by the Establishment
to break every bone in every child's
fragile frame. Recurrent dreams
about failing from great heights are
not uncommon even in this day and
time among those of us who
survived. The swing set, a
magnificent symbol of tyranny,
now lies helplessly on its side.

All shout: "Hurrah. Tyranny is
dead. Yea."; but why did they
dump it behind Wilson Hall?
(obviously a layman's point of
view.)

How often we have sat in Scott
Stadium watching the Wahoos play
their best brand of ball, when out
of the sky, to the delight of any
bored fan, leaflets come pouring
down on the crowd. Purple hot
dogs on purple forks! Amazing!
Mounds of litter lie at your
feet-the last wave of another
conquest by the blight.

If by chance you fail to pick up
your own personal leaflet souvenir,
any number may be found
anywhere from Alderman Road to
the Rotunda. So, keep calm, enjoy
the game; there'll be a few left lying
around for you.

After the game, it's back to the
dorm or apartment for a party; but,
as anyone will tell you, it's crazy to
follow the crowded sidewalks. In
the interest of self-preservation, it's
better to make your own private
path across the Grounds (except
that several hundred other jerks
have by now had the same
thoughts). Voila! An endless
network of muddy, brown paths
weave their way to various points
of interest around the University
and everyone is a little better rested
from not having to walk "the long
way around."

Indeed, not only the trees have
changed their hue, many other
objects of great beauty have either
faded, been hidden by trash (N.B.
prefabricated aluminum
classrooms), or been destroyed to
"make room for progress."

"So", we say, "We've done all
we can. Nothing does any good,
Forget the blight; we've got too
much else to worry about."

Very true and very original.