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The most elegant and witty epigrams of Sir Iohn Harrington

... digested into fovre bookes: three whereof neuer before published
Harington, John (1560-1612)

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THE EPISTLE TO ALL Readers, that Epigrams must bee read attentiuely, that Legere & non intellegere, est negligere.
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[dedication]
expand section1. 
Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the first Booke.
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Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the second Booke.
 1. 
1 To the Lady Rogers, th' authors wiues Mother.
 2. 
2 Of the Bishopricke of Landaffe.
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3 Of Don Pedro's Dyet drinke.
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4 Of Leda and Balbus.
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5 Of Cinna his Gossip cup.
 6. 
6 Of Leda's Religion.
 7. 
7 That fauorites helpe the Church.
 8. 
8 Of Cinna his courage.
 9. 
9 Of a Lawyer that deseru'd his fec.
 10. 
10 Of Don Pedro.
 11. 
11 Against Lynus a writer.
 12. 
12 Of Don Pedros bonds.
 13. 
13 Against Cayus that scorn'd his Metamorphosis.
 14. 
14 Against an Atheist.
 15. 
15 Of Cosmus heyre.
 16. 
16 Of Faustus, a stealer of Verses.
 17. 
17 Misacmos of himselfe.
 18. 
18 Of the corne that rained.
 19. 
19 To his wife, at the birth of his sixt Child.
 20. 
20 Against Feasting.
 21. 
21 Against Cosmus couetousnesse.
 22. 
22 Against Vintners in Bathe.
 23. 
23 To Bassisie, his wiues mother, when shee was angry.
 24. 
24 To his wife, of Poppea Sabynas faire heyre.
 25. 
25 Against Lalus an ill Preacher.
 26. 
26 Against Paulus an Atheist.
 27. 
27 To Galla going to the Bathe.
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28 To one that had meate ill drest.
 29. 
29 Of giuing much credit.
 30. 
30 Of honest Theft. To my good friend Master Samuel Daniel.
 31. 
31 Against Faustus.
 32. 
32 Of Free will.
 33. 
33 Of a drunken Paracelsian.
 34. 
34 Of Misacmos his successe in a suite.
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35 A Groome of the Chambers religion in King Henry the eights time.
 36. 
36 To Doctor Haruey of Cambridge.
 37. 
37 An infallible rule in rule a wife. To his wiues mother.
 38. 
38 Why Paulus takes so much Tobacco.
 39. 
39 Of a formall Minister.
 40. 
40 Of a lawfull wife.
 41. 
41 Against Feasting.
 42. 
42 Against Lynus, that said the Nobility were decayed.
 43. 
43 To Itis, alias Ioyner, an vncleanly token, conuayd in cleanly tearmes.
 44. 
44 To his wife.
 45. 
45 Sir Iohn Raynsfords confession.
 46. 
46 A pretty question of Lazarus soule well answered.
 47. 
47 Against long suits in Law.
 48. 
48 Of an importunate prater, out of Martiall.
 49. 
49 Against Ielousie. To my friend.
 50. 
50 Against Quintus, that being poore and prodigall, became rich and miserable.
 51. 
51 To my Lady Rogers.
 52. 
52 Of Sextus mis-hap comming from a Tauerne.
 53. 
53 How Sextus laid claime to an Epigram.
 54. 
54 Of an Aborne Rabbet.
 55. 
55 Of hearing Masse.
 56. 
56 Of a Preacher that sings Placebo.
 57. 
57 Of the naked Image that was to stand in my Lo: Chamberlaines Gallery.
 58. 
58 Of the same to the Ladies.
 59. 
59 Of Don Pedroe's threats.
 60. 
60 Against brauery.
 61. 
61 Of Leda's vnkindnesse.
 62. 
62 Of an Abbot that had beene a good fellow.
 63. 
63 Against Cinna a Brownist, that saith he is sure to be saued.
 64. 
64 To Master Bastard, a Minister that made a pleasant Booke of English Epigrams.
 65. 
65 Of a kinde vnkinde Husband.
 66. 
66 Of Galla's goodly Petiwigge.
 67. 
67 Of Master Iohn Dauies Booke of Dancing. To himselfe.
 68. 
68 To Paulus.
 69. 
69 Of Table-talke.
 70. 
70 Of the commodities that men haue by their Marriage.
 71. 
71 To Marcus that would borrow.
 72. 
72 To his wife after they had beene married foure yeere.
 73. 
73 Of a Bequest without a Legacy.
 74. 
74 Of one that lent money on sure band.
 75. 
75 Of light Merchandize.
 76. 
76 Of father Peleus stable.
 77. 
77 Of a censurer of English writers.
 78. 
78 Of Titus boasting.
 79. 
79 To Doctor Sherhood, how Sack makes one leane.
 80. 
80 Of swearing first betweene the wife and the Husband.
 81. 
81 To his Wife.
 82. 
82 To a prattling Epicure.
 83. 
83 Of Don Pedro.
 84. 
84 To Master Bastard, taxing him of Flattery.
 85. 
85 Ouids confession translated into English for Generall Norreys. 1593.
 86. 
86 A witty speech of Heywood to the Queene.
 87. 
87 To my wife, from Chester.
 88. 
88 Against lying Lynus.
 89. 
89 Of lending our Priuy-seales.
 90. 
90 In defence of Lent.
 91. 
91 Malum bene positum ne moueas.
 92. 
92 To King Dauid.
 93. 
93 Of Monsters. To my Lady Rogers.
 94. 
94 Of a pleasant Broker.
 95. 
95 To the L. Ro.
 96. 
96 To his wife, in excuse he had call'd her foole in his writing.
 97. 
97 Of the growth of Trees to Sir H. Port.
 98. 
98 Against promoting Lynus.
 99. 
99 The Story of Marcus life at Primero.
 100. 
100 Lesbias rule of praise.
 101. 
101 Another of Table-talke.
 102. 
102 Of old Haywoods sonnes.
expand section3. 
Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the third Booke.
expand section4. 
Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the fourth Booke.

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65 Of a kinde vnkinde Husband.

A rich old Lord did wed a rich yong Lady,
Of good complexion, and of goodly stature,
And for he was of kinde and noble nature,
He lou'd to see her goe as braue as may be.
A pleasant Knight one day was so presumptuous,

To tell this Lord in way of plaine simplicitie,
'Tis you, my Lord, that haue this worlds felicitie:
To haue a Dame so yong, so sweet, so sumptuous.
Tush, said the Lord, but these same costly Gownes,
With Kirtles, Corknets, plague me in such sort,
That euery time I taste of Uenus sport,
I will be sworne, cost me one hundred Crownes.
Now, fie Sir, said his wife, where is your sence;
Though 'tis too true, yet say not so for shame,
For I would wish to cleere me of the blame:
That each time cost you but a hundred pence.
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