University of Virginia Library

ODE.

The Apology.

I

Citing my old, and cruel Master, Love,
Before that Queen, which holds our part Divine,
And first descending from the Seats above,
Ith' Brain enthron'd with Heavenly Light does shine,
I shew'd my self like Gold, by Flames made fine.
Loaded I came, with Horrour, Grief, and Fear,
Those heavy Chains my Jaylor on me laid,
And as a Wretch, who begs his Judg to hear,
Tho Self-condemn'd, and of pale Death afraid,
I bow'd to th' Bar, and all in Tears thus said:
“In an ill Hour, Great Queen, I toucht the Land
“Of this false Prince, where Rage, and Pride command;
“And where, even from a Youth, I underwent
“Such different Torments, that with Pain quite spent,
“My Life seem'd more a burden than delight,
“And Patience was o'recome, tho next to Infinite.

II

“In Pains, and Anguish, spending thus my Age,
“How many Seasons did I, Fool, despise,
“My self in Noble Studies to engage,
“Whereby in Wealth I might, and Honour rise,
“Deceiv'd of both by empty Flatteries?
“But where's the Wit that can such Words command,
“And at its pleasure fit Expressions call,
“That others may my Miseries understand,
“And how I'm just to implead this Criminal?
“How little Hony has Love, and how much Gall!
“I tasted both, but both were temper'd so,
“The sweet above, the bitter lay below;
“Seducing to fond Amours by surprize,
“A Soul, if I mistake not, made to rise,
“And up in Heav'n Exalted look more fair:
“Nor did Love only break my Peace, but rais'd new War.

III

“My God, I'm sure, He less has made me love,
“Ten thousand times less than a Creature ought;
“Nor could I to my self more faithful prove,
“While for a Mistress I by him was brought,
“To slight compar'd with her all other thought.
“Love was my Counsellor, that Enemy,
“Whom here I charge, who 'exciting my desire,
“Whilst all in vain I for Repose did cry,
“Permitted me no leisure to respire,
“But to asswage the burning brought more Fire.
“(Alas!) what profit's it to have a mind
“By Heav'ns best Gifts, and purest Flame refin'd,
“Since tho my Hairs, through Age I'm changing still,
“I ne're, O, ne're can change my' unruly Will;
“Become to this fierce One so much a Slave,
“By use, that it were Death my Liberty to have!

IV

“Strange Coasts he' has made me seek, and Forraign Lands,
“And thousand Perils blindly undergo;
“Sometime by Robbers, sometime rolling Sands,
“Ready to be devour'd, rude Manners know,
“And Pilgrim like no Guide my way to show.
“Mountains I 'have past, and Vales, rough Storms, and Seas,
“Treading on Snares, too close to be descry'd;
“And in my wandrings, stranger than all these,
“Have Winter seen on th' Wings of Summer ride,
“With Dangers only running by my side.
“But nor him, nor my other Enemy,
“Could I by flight escape, or secresie;
“So that with Death if I unconquer'd strove,
“The thanks are Heav'ns, and none belong to Love.
“This tyran Love, who by my Grief revives,
“Feeds on my Pain, and by my Torment only lives.

V

“Not one free Hour, since his, have I enjoy'd,
“Nor hope to 'enjoy; eve'n sleep from the sad Night
“Is bannisht, and my former rest destroy'd;
“In vain by Herbs, or Charms, I seek my right,
“For what by Fraud he 'has got, he keeps by Might.
“Usurping Tyran! and he knows 'tis true,
“When I add further, my just Charge to swell,
“The Darkness only did my Pain renew,
“Nor wanted I, oft heard, times Passing-Bell,
“Who by my Groans the weary Hours could tell.
“What more? Gnawing he in my Brest does lie,
“And long sought Death, does to th' assault defie;
“Hence flow my Tears, and hence my Flames arise,
“Hence my Complaints, and all those dolorous Sighs,
“With which my self I tire, and others too,
“Great Queen, who knowst us both, between us Justice do!

VI

I spake—but Love all in a rage reply'd,
“Now t'other part, Great Queen, be pleas'd to hear!
“The Truths which this Ingrate has sought to hide,
“I to your Clemency will make appear,
“And Sentence, till I 'have spoken too, forbear!
“Know then this Wretch, with Mercenary Breath,
“Not Words alone, but Lyes had learnt to sell;
“Till I his Youth reclaim'd, and from that Death,
“Whither he was hasting, brought him sound, and well,
“In pure Delights, sore 'against his Will to dwell.
“I was his Guide, by me he first arriv'd
“At th' happy Port, where he has safely liv'd;
“And this he grieves, this he calls Misery,
“And all those unsought Favours shown by me;
“A Fame, which by his Birth he ne're had gain'd,
“Till I who rais'd his Wit, that Honour too obtain'd.

VII

“He knows that Menelaus, and Achilles too,
“And Anibal, and a greater than all these,
“The mighty Scipio I did once subdue,
“And after all their Wars, enslav'd in Peace,
“Giving them Waiting-Maids for Mistresses.
“But for him Wretch, a Love so sacred chose,
“And of a Million so beyond compare,
“That Heav'n alone such sublim'd Beauties knows,
“This World has nothing half so bright, or fair,
“Not Rome it self, tho its Lucrece were there.
“Nor was this all, but gave withal a Voice,
“And of Harmonious Numbers so great choice,
“Such skill to Sing, that nothing base, or low,
“E're reacht his Thoughts, except his Malice now.
“These my Deceits were, these my Flatteries,
“For which I'm charg'd, which others would as Honours prize.

VIII

“This was the Gall, these the Disdains and Ire,
(“Favours too great to be so soon forgot)
“By which I kindled the most sacred Fire;
“But see the Blaze my Labour answers not,
“Who for a thankless Man thus long have wrought.
“If under me he has the Skill attain'd,
“To Ravish all, who do his Numbers hear,
“If with the Good, he such Respect has gain'd,
“And with the Great, that to' him they Deference bear,
“How high so e're he Soar'd, I fixt him there.
“Till now perchance some servile Wretch he' had been,
“A Brawler at some Bar, without esteem;
“But I first rais'd him, made him first be known,
“Nor were those Arts he Riots in, his own,
“But in my School he first procur'd the Grace,
“And then from her, who next me his great Mistris was.

IX

“Yet last of all, hear his grand Slavery,
“And you will think he' has reason to complain:
“From thousand Chains of Vice I set him free,
“By Her, whose Favour he could never gain
“By any Act, which had the smallest stain.
“Temp'rate, and Modest in design and deed,
“Since a Liege Man of hers, he still has been;
“Who with great thoughts his abject Soul did feed,
“And of her self ith' Cure threw so much in,
“That to be like her he did strait begin.
“What e're he boasts then, worthy Praise or Fame,
“From us the Spoilers of his Fortune came;
“But ne're was Dream so wild, or humorous,
“To itself so strange, as he has been to us;
“For tho by us he's known to God, and Man,
“The Happiness he or repents, or does disdain.

X

“There's one thing more, which all the rest out-does,
“I gave him Plumes to mount above the Skies,
“By Mortal things, which, to the Man who knows
“The Learning, like a Towring Pyramis,
“To the first Maker by degrees arise;
“For seeing well how great, and wondrous fair,
“Vertue in her, whom he ador'd did shine,
“From thence he might to' himself present the Air,
“By Heav'nly Vision, of the Cause Divine,
“As himself sings, and proves this Charge of mine.
“But I'm forgot now, and with me that Dame
“I gave him, to support his Life, and Fame.
Whereat I shriekt, and answer'd, tho in pain:
“Well might he give, who took her soon again.
“Not I, but God, from whom She first did come,
“He smartly turn'd, with him would have her live at Home.

XI

—Then pressing both to th' Bar,
I trembling, clamorous he, and over rude,
Both of us did in one Request conclude:
“Great Queen, we wait what Sentence you will give.
On both she smil'd, but did us both deceive;
“Pleas'd with your Pleadings are we, she reply'd,
“But it requires more time your Difference to decide.