University of Virginia Library

Scena I.

Roscius. Bird. Flowrdew.
Bird.
I will no more of this abomination.

Rosc.
The end crownes every action, stay till that.
Iust Iudges will not be prejudicate.

Flow.
Pray sir continue still the moralizing.

Rosc.

The next we present are the extreams of Magnificence,
who teaches a Decorum in great expences, as Liberality
in the lesser: One is Banausus, out of a meere ostentation
vaine-gloriously expensive; the other Microprepes one
inglorious works extreamly base and penurious.

Banausus. Microprepes.
Banau.
Being borne not for our selves but for our freinds,
Our country and our glory, it is fit
We doe expresse the majesty of our soules
In deeds of bounty and magnificence.

Micro.
The world is full of vanity, and fond fooles
Promise themselves a name from building Churches
Or any thing that tends to the Republique,
'Tis the Re-private that I study for.

Banau.
First therefore for the fame of my Republique,
I'le imitate a brave Ægyptian King,
And plant such store of onions, and of garlike,
As shall maintaine so many thousand workmen,
To th'building of a Pyamid at Saint Albons,
Vpon whose top I'le set a hand of brasse,
With a scrowle in't to shew the way to London,
For th'benefit of Travellers.

Colax.
Excellent!
'Tis charity to direct the wandring Pilgrim.

Micro.
I am Church-warden, and we are this yeare
To build our steeple up, now to save charges
I'le get a high crown'd hat with five Low-bels
To make a peale shall serve as well as Bow.

Colax.
'Tis wisely cast,
And like a carefull steward of the Church,
Of which the Steeple is no part, at least
No necessary one.

Bird.
Verily 'tis true.
They are but wicked Synagogues where those instruments
Of Superstition and Idolatry
Ring warning to sinne, and chime all in to the Divell.

Banau.
And 'cause there is such swarmes of heresies rising:
I'le have an Artist frame two wondrous weathercocks
Of Gold, to set on Pauls, and Grantam Steeple,
To shew to all the Kingdome what fashion next
The Wind of Humour hither means to blow.

Micro.
A wicker chaire will fit them for a Pulpit.

Colax.
It is the Doctrine sir that you respect.

Flow.
Insooth I have heard as wholsome instructions
From a zealous wicker chaire, as e're I did
From the carv'd Idoll of wainscoat.

Banau.
Next, I intend to found an Hospitall
For the decay'd Professours of the Suburbs,
With a Colledge of Physitians too at Chelsy
Only to study the cure of the French Poxe;
That so the sinners may acknowledge me
Their only benefactor, and repent.

Colax.
You have a care sir of your countrie's health.

Micro.
Then I will sell the lead to thatch the Chancell.

Ban.
I have a rare device to set Dutch windmills
Vpon New-market Heath, and Salisbury Plaine,
To draine the Fens.

Colax.
The Fens sir are not there.

Ban.
But who knowes but they may be:

Col.
Very right:
You aime at the prevention of a danger.

Micro.
A Porters frock shall serve me for a surplice.
Flow Indeed a Frock is not so Ceremonious.

Ban.
But the great work in which I mean to glory,
Is in the raising a Cathedrall Church:
It shall be at Hoggs-Norton, with a paire
Of stately Organs; more then pity 'twere
The Piggs should loose their skill for want of practice!

Bird.
Organs! fye on them for Babylonian Bagpipes!

Micro.
Then for the painting, I bethink my selfe
That I have seene in mother Red-caps Hall
In painted cloath the story of the Prodigall.

Cola.
And that will be for very good use and morall.
Sir you are wise; what serve Ægyptian Pyramids,
Ephesian Temples, Babylonian Towers,
Carian Coloss'es, Traians water-workes,
Domitians Amphitheaters, the vaine cost
Of ignorance and prodigalitie!
Rome flourish'd when her Capitoll was thatch'd,
And all her Gods dwelt but in Cottages.
Since Parian marble and Corynthian brasse
Enter'd her gawdy Temples, soone shee fell
To superstition, and from thence to ruine.
You see that in our Churches, glorious Statues
Rich Copes, and other ornaments of state
Draw wandring eyes from their devotion,
Vnto a wanton gazing, and that other
Rich edifices, and such gorgeous toyes
Doe more proclaime our countries wealth then safety,
And serve but like so many guilded baits
T'entice a forreigne Foe to our invasion.
Goe in, there is a Glasse will shew you sir,
What sweet simplicity our Grandsires us'd,
How in the Age of Gold no Church was guilded.

Exit. Micro.
Banau.
O I have thought on't, I will straight way build
A free schoole here in London; a free schoole
For th'education of young Gentlemen
To study how to drinke, and take Tobacco,
To sweare, to roare, to dice, to drab, to quarrell:
Twill be the great Gymnasium of the Realme,
The Phrontisterium of great Britayny.
And for their better study I will furnish them
With a large Library of Drapers bookes.

Colax.
'Twill put down Bodlies, and the Vatican.
Royall Banausus! how many Sphears fly you
Above the earthy dull Microprepes!
I hope to live to see you build a stewes
Shall out-brave Venice; To repaire old Tiburne
And make it Cedar. This magnificent course
Doth purchase you an immortality.
In them you build your Honour to remaine
Th example and the wonder of Posterity.
While other hidebound Churles doe grutch thēselves
The Charges of a Tombe.

Ban.
But Ile have one
In which Ile lye embalm'd with Mirrhe and Cassia,
And richer unguents then th'Ægyptian Kings.
And all that this my pretious Tombe may furnish
The Land with Mummye.

Colax.
Yonder is a Glasse
Will shew you plots and models of all monuments
Form'd the old way, you may invent a new
'Twill make for your more glory.

Ban.
Colax true.

Exit.
Rosc.

These are the extreams of Magnanimity. Caunus a

fellow so highly conceited of his own parts, that he thinks
no honour above him; the other Micropsychus a base and
low spirited fellow, that undervaluing his own qualities,
dares not aspire to those dignities, that otherwise his merits
are capable of.