 | [Poems in two Parts] |  |
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Doubt 10.
From fear of Apostacy.
SOUL.I know if I were there, I soon should be
Eas'd of these loads, and from corruption free.
No Devil's there to tempt, sin to perplex,
No clog to hinder, Canaanite to vex.
All is serene and pleasant, all delight;
Withdrawings there are none, no clouds, no night.
There sights of God are clear, communion sure,
Uninterrupted, always to endure.
But I uncertain am, and sadly fear,
I shall my labour lose, and not come there.
Heaven I mind for Gods sake, 'tis the scope
Of all mine actions, yet I dare not hope
At last to reach it; no, I may fall short,
And be the Angels scorn, and Devils sport.
Experience tells me, if at any time
I plead a title, and call glory mine,
Strait I receive a check, because it is
So difficult to get, easie to miss.
I have indeed been walking in the way;
That thither leads, some steps I take each day.
I for salvation pray, and wrestling groan,
Resolved not to let my God alone
Until he bless me. Prayer is the thing
That to me doth my sweetest comforts bring.
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As 'tis Gods Word, with reverence and fear.
I daily stand upon my guard, and do
Watch against sin, as my most mortal foe:
I put on all my armour, and maintain
A constant war with all, thereby to gain
The victory at length over each one,
And sit triumphant on my Saviour's throne.
I labour with my might, if so I may
Commended be by God another day.
I make what haste I can, that so I might
Reach safely to my Father's house by night.
By this means I have got near Heaven, and
From Pisgah can look to the holy land.
But what of this? many an one hath lost
All his profession, his pains and cost.
Not only buds are nipt, which tender are,
But lovely blossoms, which did promise fair,
Are blasted with the cold and winds. Nay more,
Oft have I seen the earth thick sown with store
Of fruit near ripe, which in a Summers morn
A furious tempest hath blown down with scorn.
Many a stately Ship, the owners pride,
Backt at its setting forth with wind and tide,
Hath swiftly plow'd the Main, and safely past,
Trading from Port to Port, until at last,
It doth return rich fraught, and every one
Sweetly discourseth of his long'd for home,
And Wife, and Children, with his Friends, that do
Long every whit as much to see him too:
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The Merchants smile, & dread their loss no more;
Yet near the Haven it is cast away,
And by the mighty waters made a prey.
When all thought with success their labour crown'd,
The Ship is sunk, goods lost, and Seamen drown'd.
With many in Religion thus it is,
Who aim at Heaven, but of Heaven miss.
Their lives are blameless, & their hopes are high,
Yet when their days are done, their hopes do die.
To day they think all well; but on the morrow
Death summons them, & down they lie in sorrow.
Thus did the foolish Virgins at last get
Unto the Bridegrooms chamber-door, and yet
No entrance could obtain. This was their doom,
I know you not, depart, here is no room
For such as you. Pack, pack out of my sight,
Your vessels want their oil, your lamps their light.
The young man went a great way, and got near
To Heaven, but fell short, and ne're came there:
Admir'd the progress, terrible the falls
Have been of some professed Saints, which calls
Loudly on all to fear, lest in the close
Of all their labours they their labour lose.
Of such why may not I, poor I be one,
Who after all their doings are undone.
Such are the workings of mine heart, I do
Watch daily, ply mine oar, and tremble too.
I have made fair beginnings, but do fear,
Unto the end I shall not persevere.
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And with ease master my affections, get
A conquest over me, clap on its chain,
From which I never may get loose again.
As yet I do proceed as I began,
But may be driven back by fear of man.
My zeal now seemeth hot, but cool it may
Upon the sight of Lions in the way.
And how shall I appear? or with what face
Can I look upon God? if in this race
I tire or turn my back; since it is sure,
Apostate Christians he cannot endure.
Better it had been never to have known
Pure ways of righteousness, than to disown
And leave them afterward; none sink in Hell
Deeper than those fall from a Pinacle.
Many from thence have tumbled, why not I?
Whose head is weak, whose standing slipperie.
Who every foot am ready to turn o're,
Religion to throw up, and do no more.
The footmen weary me, what shall I do,
When I am call'd to run with horsemen too?
If in a land of peace I fainted have,
How shall I live on Jordans swelling wave?
FAITH.
Apostacy indeed's a dreadful evil,
Transforming man into an ugly Devil.
Blind Turks and Heathens jewels are, if we
Compare them with those that Apostates be.
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And shall receive their double portions
Of plagues and miseries; God will repay
In punishment their falshood at that day
Which he appointed hath, when for what's done
By men, he men will judg by Christ his Son.
Oft these are found within the Churches line;
Oft seeming sheep have proved sordid swine.
Some that were thought furnisht with oil enough
To feed their lamps, have ended in a snuff.
Some that seem'd orient stars of light do fail,
And down are drag'd by th' fiery Dragons tail.
Demas forsook that Paul he followed;
Shewing thereby, he only borrowed
The Christian name himself a while to grace,
Which done, he did the flattering world embrace.
But know the fruit which falls, though 'twas before
Lovely in skin, was rotten at the core.
Members that seem'd alive, and now are dead,
Never united were to Christ the head.
Hangby's they were, and base pretenders, who
Mystical union unto Christ ne'r knew.
False grace is always failing grace; the sound,
Instead of failing shall still more abound.
Not that this holy firmness doth proceed
Or spring from natures power in Abra'ms seed,
Or from the grace in them, that's but a creature,
And might be master'd soon, were not a greater
And alsufficient strength by God put out,
Which doth maintain their ground, prevent their rout.
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And also secretly afforded aid.
Saints eminent (if God withdraw his hand
For one poor moment from them) cannot stand.
Should he with-hold his influence, they die;
Should he leave them, they soon would him deny.
Angels themselves would fall, but that they be
By grace confirm'd in their felicitie.
Much more would Adam's seed, who have within
Back-sliding principles, and seeds of sin.
They soon would God forsake, and soon undo
The Cov'nant made to love and serve him too.
The root they do not bear, the root bears them,
They are both holy Saints, and sinning men.
Undone thou soon wouldst be, if God should take
Away his Spirit, and thy soul forsake.
By thine own strength, O man, thou dost not stand;
But thy dear Father is at thy right hand,
Holding thee up, and he will carry thee
In arms of love to blest eternitie.
Thy Cistern leaks, but it shall not be dry,
Because the upper springs will send supply.
Dangers and clouds shall vanish; God shall be
An everlasting Sun and shield to thee.
Consider in how much thou Christ hast stood,
Not one whit less than his most precious blood.
For thee his Head with thorns was crown'd, his side
Was pierc'd, for thee he sweat, he bled, he di'd.
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So great a price as this? shall that be lost
Which he prefer'd before his life? no, he
Will be his purchas'd Saints securitie.
His own thou art, with thee he will not part,
Who once didst cost his blood, still hast his heart,
Thou art a member of his body, one
Part of his fulness, and he'l part with none
Of them or that, but will them save and love;
Christ will not be a maimed Christ above.
Nay more, he stands oblig'd. His Father gave
A people to him, that he might them save.
He is accountable for every one:
Must raise them all at last day, losing none.
Yea, and in such a state he must them raise,
As they may be unto his name a praise.
Now in pursuance of his Father's will,
He that hath always kept, will keep thee still.
And therefore he hath promis'd to impart
His fear unto thee, and write in thine heart
His sacred law, that though thou mai'st be tri'd
With fierce assaults, none of thy steps may slide.
He in himself hath laid up all thy store,
And if thou little hast, he'l give thee more.
Adam thy father had a pow'r to stand,
Which pow'r was wholly plac'd in his own hand,
But he did quickly lose the stock that was
Committed to him; hence Christ will not pass
All thine estate to thee at once, lest thou
Run out of all, and prove a beggar too.
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He being rich, thou never shalt be poor.
So poor as to depend, thou still shalt be,
But never know undoing povertie.
Eden was once indeed fill'd with more grace,
Or rather holiness, yet that sweet place
Was never so secure, as is thy Ark,
Thy floating little cock-boat now; for mark,
God is its skilful Pilot, constant stay,
Who by his spirit steereth night and day
Its course; upholding, strengthening thee likewise,
When tempests rage, & threatning waves arise.
Thus chear thy self, when thou dost fear to fall,
Remembring God will be thine all in all,
Thy rock and refuge, thy treasure and guard,
Who keepeth for thee constant watch and ward.
His eye doth neither slumber, nor once sleep,
He keepeth Israel, and thee doth keep.
He is no land of darkness, barren heath,
His everlasting arms are underneath.
He knows full well when ought would thee annoy;
Will always be thy comfort and thy joy.
Do thou thy duty, and then know that God
Will with his staff support thee, with his rod
Will guide thy steps, until at last thou be
Above a sinning possibility.
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