University of Virginia Library

SCENE IV.

—HOME OF THE THREE BEARS.
The room is furnished with Three Beds (a large bed, a middle-sized bed, and a small bed); There Chairs (a large chair, a middle-sized chair, and a small chair); and Three Tables (a large table, a middle-sized table, and a small table); and Three Bowls on them (a large bowl, a middle-sized bowl, and a small bowl).—The Three Bears are discovered, in bed.—The youngest Bear wakes first, and belabours the others with a bolster.—They all turn out.—Business of dressing, &c.—The Three Bears go out with baskets to buy bread.
Little Maid then puts her head in at window.
Lit. Maid.
I beg your pardon! will you let me in?
The clouds blow up—the rain will soon begin.
What, no one here? It't coming on to power!
If I stop here, I shall be soaked, I'm shower!
[Gets in through window, and hops down like a bird.
There—I'm forgetting that I'm not a bird!
But lor! to be particular's absurd.
My birdlike habits why should I be dropping?
For human beings often go ‘a-hopping.’
[Sees bowls.
What's this? some nice hot parritch, I declare!
Well, I'm not very fond of ‘parritch fare!
But when one's hungry. [Tastes from big bowl.]
Oh, dear me, how hot!
And I'm so hungry, I could eat the lot!
[Sees second bowl.
But here's another! [Tastes it.]
Nearly cold—or quite!
I'll try the third! [Does so.]
The little one's just right!
[Eats its contents.
Now I'll sit down. Where shall I sit? [Sees big chair.]
Oh, there.
[Sits.
I never sat upon so hard a chair!
P'raps this is better. [Tries second chair.]
Dear me, how absurd!
That's just as much too soft! Oh, here's a third.
[Sits on little one.
The little one, in this case, suits me quite!
Neither too hard nor soft—exactly right!
[Yawns.
I'm very sleepy—that I am, I vow!
[Stretches herself—chair cracks.
Oh dear, I've cracked it! What shall I do now?
I'll go to bed, so somnolent I feel!
[Gets into big bed.
Oh no, that one's too lengthy by a deal.
[Gets off.—Tries second one.
This one seems better, so I'll get inside.
[Does so.
Oh dear me, how ridiculously wide!
[Tries little one.
Again the little one befits me quite!
Neither too long nor broad—exactly right!

[Goes to sleep.
Enter the Three Bears with bread.—They go to their porridge, and find that it has been touched.
First B.
Someone has dared my porridge hot to taste!

Second B.
And also mine, the nasty greedy baste!
I left full twice as much in this here cup!

Third B.
They've been and gone and eaten mine all up!

First B.
Who has been sitting down on my arm-chair?

Second B.
Mine also has been sat on, I declare!
The cushion's crumpled up in folds and creases!

[Little Bear sits on his chair—it breaks, and throws him down.
Third B.
They've been and broken mine in little pieces!

First B.
Someone has been and gone and tried my bed!

Second B.
And, look here! mine as well, I'll lay my head!

Third B.
And mine as well, as sure as I'm a bear!
Why here she is—and sleeping, I declare!

[The Bears roar.—Little Maid starts up frightened, and screams.
First B.
You've slept upon the bed used by our son!

Second B.
You've sat upon our chairs, and broken one!

Third B.
You've eaten up my porridge too, my dear,
The only food we ever get, up here!
Its hard enough to live on workhouse fare.

Little M.
A very proper diet for a bear!
For workhouse fare—I've seen it at a distance,
At very best, is but a bare subsistence.

First B.
How shall we cook her? I suggest a fry!

Second B.
A roast—

Third B.
A boil—

First B.
A stew—

Second B.
A hash—

Third B.
A pie!

[The Bears agree in pantomime to the last suggestion, and prepare materials for making one.
SCENA, Little Maid and Bears, (Euryanthe.)
Bears.
[Rolling out crust.]
Pat-a-cake-a-cake-ing
Pie prepare for baking,
Prick it, pat it, prick it, pat it, carefully mark it with T!
Flour-drudger taking,
Flour from it shaking,
Place in the oven—the oven, for Tiny and me!

Little Maid.
Oh, dear me!
Oh, hear me!
You couldn't come for to go for to cook such a particularly nice little girl as I?
Oh, spare me!
Don't tear me!
You musn't come for to go, if you please, sir, for to take and put me in a pie!
Oh, sir, please to spare me,
Don't in pie prepare me!
Don't come for to go, sir, for to put me in a pie!

[Bears seize her and put her in pie.
Enter Little Man.
Lit. Man.
I heard my Little Maid's imploring voice,
The pretty little maid of my own choice!
Where is she? Ha! that pie! Their game I'll ruin;
A storm, I plainly see, those bears are brewin'!
Be off! You won't? [Sees toes sticking out of pie.]
My little maiden's toes!
That doleful sight determines me—here goes!

[Desperate fight with the Three Bears, in which they are assisted by Demonio.—The Three Bears eventually put to flight.—Dancing

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16

fight between Little Man and Demonio, in the midst of which the Fairy of the Hearth appears.
Fairy of H.
Hold! Reverence my sway, Demonio!
Thou monstrous and misshapen demon, go!
[Demonio slinks off.
I am the Fairy of this poor abode!
It is decreed, in our undying code,
That when those bears are beaten in fair fight,
To live in human homes they lose all right!
They now must roam for life in forest glades!
This house is yours—yours and your Little Maid's!

[Fairy vanishes.
Lit. Man.
There! Think of that, oh maid on whom I dote!
I'm a householder—and I've got a vote!

Lit. Maid.
Oh yes, that's very well, but only think;
Whatever shall we find to eat and drink?
You can't live on a vote!

Lit. Man.
Well, I don't know,
I think I've heard of people doing so!
We'll manage it, by accident, or hap!
Fairy Fresh Air ascends through trap.
Who's this a-driving up in his own trap?

Fresh A.
The fairy Fresh Air, your protecting fay,
Who's watched your conduct carefully, all day;
And likes it much, your views I quite fall in with!
You must have something handsome to begin with.
Here is a lovely ring.

[Shows ring.
Lit. Man.
I have seen wuss!

Fresh A.
Whoever wears it on his finger—thus,
May wish three times for things he most may prize;
Those wishes I myself will realize.
Take it, and keep it safe in your possession,
And exercise your right with due discretion.

[Gives him ring.
Lit. Man.
Oh ecstacy! the ring is mine—no other!
I wish—I wish—oh, let's consult your mother!

TRIO, Little Man, Little Maid, and Fresh Air.
Air, ‘Devil among the Tailors.’
Lit. Man.
We'll go and ask your mother, dear, and right away will toddle-oddle.

Lit. Maid.
Of a prudent woman that old dame is quite a model-odel!

Fresh A.
Don't exert your power like a silly molly coddle-oddle.

All.
Silly molly coddle-oddle, ol lol lay!

Fresh A.
I'm very much afraid your wishes will be very silly-illy!

Lit. Maid.
I shall ride to market on a pretty little filly-illy!

Lit. Man.
I shall be a swell and walk about in Piccadilly-illy!

All.
Piccadilly-illy-illy, ol lol lay!

Lit. Maid.
Matters have eventuated very comically-ally!

Lit. Man.
Spirits whlch were low at first, I find begin to rally-ally!

Fresh A.
Go along at once and do not stop to shilly-shally-ally!

All.
Shilly-shally-ally-ally, ol lol lay!