University of Virginia Library

SCENE SEVENTH.

—Interior of King Gander's Palace— Flourish and shouts without—Enter King Gander, leaning on his Minister, and followed by his Councillors and Pages, bearing his helmet and shield.
King.
Thanks, countrymen! Thanks, loving friends Alack!
You're always glad, I know, to see me back!
What! (to Minister)
Have the Masons made my daughters free
Of the Grand Lodge, in which we lodged all three?

(loud knocks heard)
Min.
My liege, e'en now they're knocking at the door.

King.
It's no use knocking at it any more,
For here, I take it, are our daughters come.

Min.
But one, and she is looking rather rum.

(Exeunt Minister and Councillors.)
Enter Finetta.
King.
My child!

Fin.
He lives! And I've a parent still!
How fares my gracious father?

King.
Not so ill,
But that we might be worse, yet not so well,
But that we might be better.

Fin.
Tell, oh, tell
Thy daughter all. The worst, oh, let me learn!
I fear small profit from this quick return.

King.
You may be a false prophet.

Fin.
Aye! indeed?
But you were indisposed?

King.
Yes—to proceed—
Thou shalt know all! Yon moon which rose last night
Round as my shield—

Fin.
Which is not round.

King.
Not quite,
Had not quite risen, when with great long bills,
A band of fierce barbarians from the hills,
Rushed on my gallant host. My warriors fled
For safety and for succour. I, instead,
On bended bones—familiarly called marrow,
For quarter sued. When lo! a young cock-sparrow
Flew to my rescue with his bow and arrow.

Fin.
A young cock-sparrow! Surely not the sparrow
That killed cock robin?

King.
No, ingenious child!
Not the winged hero of that legend wild,
But a young stripling, fair as early dawn!
We fought and conquered ere a sword was drawn!

Fin.
Oh, speedy conquest!

King.
Interrupt me not!
I made a vow, if off scot-free I got,
One of my daughters should become the bride
Of that brave youth, and wear my crown beside—
When I have done with it.

Fin.
And who's the man, sir?

King.
I asked that question, but received no answer,
But I will know who my deliverer is—
He comes.

Music—Enter Prince Belavoir.
Fin.
(aside)
Oh, Cupid! what a charming phys—
Iognomy! If he be marrièd,
My grave is like to be my wedding bed.

King.
Young sir, I think you said you were a knight,

Bel.
I'm a knight-bachelor.

Fin.
(aside)
So far all's right

King.
You want a wife, then?

Bel.
Frankly, I declare,
I want just such an one as I see there!

King.
I have two more such, and have sworn that you
Shall take your choice.

Bel.
Oh, then allow me to—

King.
Allow you two!

Bel.
To take her, this choice fair.
Her eyes are load-stars, and her tongue's sweet air,
More tunable than lark to shepherd's ear.

King.
Why, you've not heard it.

Bel.
No, but long to hear.
With one sweet syllable my ear then bless,
And let that sweet one be your sweetest yes.

Fin.
Sir, first my sisters let me beg you'll see,
They are much handsomer indeed than me;
If, after that, you still should press me so,
It is just possible I mayn't say “no.”

King.
(embraces her)
Still of thy sex discreetest, wisest, best—
But ah! I had forgot the magic test,
Thy distaff!

Fin.
(aside)
Heavens!

King.
Thou hast it not? Ha! say!
Is't lost? Is't broken?

Fin.
No, over the way!
I left it in my haste to fly to you.

King.
Fetch it!

Fin.
I will! (aside)
What will my sisters do?
Ah, here they come, and all must out 'tis clear!

King.
She hesitates!

Bel.
What mystery is here?

Enter Princesses Idelfonza and Babillarda, the former has Finetta's distaff, which she holds behind her.
Babil., Idel.
Papa!

King.
Before I answer to that name,
Your distaffs!

Idel.
(shewing Finetta's)
Here is mine, sir!

Fin.
Oh, for shame!

Babil.
(to whom Idelfonza has passed the distaff unseen by the King)
And here is mine—and here is yours, Finetta,
We brought it for you. (giving it to her)


Fin.
Come, that's rather better.

King.
Humph! Here's some sleight of hand!

Fin.
(aside)
I feel a feather
Would knock me down.

King.
Shew all three, both together!
Present arms! Two are absent! Wretched sire!

Fin.
(aside)
'Tis done, and all the fat is in the fire.

King.
Who is the owner of the one unbroken?

Babil.
Well, then, sir, if the truth must needs be spoken,
It is Finetta's. But my fault was small.

Idel.
And I did nothing, sir, I'm sure, at all.

King.
Both guilty! Six months with hard labour, you.
(to Idelfonza)
For you, the silent system!

(to Babillarda)
Fin.
Oh, sir, do
Forgive 'em, I implore you, for my sake,
Or else their little hearts they next will break;
They've saved the pieces, let that make their own.

King.
Well, for your sake, but yours shall be my throne,
And as I've sworn, your troth you now shall plight
To this illustrious and renowned knight,
Sir Something—Thingumbob—zounds! What's your name?
Your patronymic you must now proclaim;
For though your modesty mayn't care about one,
You can't be asked in church, you know, without one.

Bel.
I dread to name my name, yet must, I know;
I am the son of Fogrum, your old foe.

All.
The son of Fogrum!

King.
Richcraft!

Bel.
No; the other—
Prince Belavoir, his poor and younger brother;
Turned out of doors by that insidious sinner,
And forced to go a hunting for a dinner.

Babil.
The brother of that wicked little man!

Idel.
Oh, no; it can't—oh no; it never can!

Fin.
My only love sprung from my only hate,
To early seen, unknown, and known too late.

King.
O, fatal vow! The son of my worst foe—
The poor one, too! Consarn it—here's a go!
This bitter pill is far too big to bolt;
And yet, my honour! Shall a Gander moult
One feather of his white, unsullied fame?
And for a name—a name—“What's in a name?”
Yet reputation's called, by the same poet,
“A bubble!” 'Sdeath! I could almost say, blow it!
(a trumpet sounds without)
Somebody has blown something. What's the row?

Enter Scharp with a scroll.
Scharp.
A letter for the unknown stranger.

Bel.
How?
For me? Art sure of that, sir? By what sign?

Scharp.
There's no name on it.

Bel.
Then it must be mine.
(reads)
Ah! can I credit what is herein stated?
My brother dead—my father abdicated!
The people call me to the vacant throne.

King.
My son-in-law!—the son I'm proud to own!
King Belavoir, Finetta is thy queen.

Bel.
The future, now, will sure be all serene.

Fin.
(aside)
Song—Finetta—“The Tempest of the Heart”—Il Trovatore.

Quintette—King, Gander, Finetta, Babillarda, Idelfonza, and Prince Belavoir.
Recitative—King.
Away! Prepare
A banquet rare!

Babillarda—“Polka”—Allary.
Who'd have thought it? Cunning little puss!
Here's for the Court Circular a pretty piece of news, dear!
Our youngest sister married before us,
At the wedding we shall have to dance without our shoes, dear!

Idel.
Why about the matter rave?
It don't seem to me so serious;
I don't dance, and so shan't have
To go without my shoes.

Fin.
(aside)
Wherefore am I pestered thus,
With presentiments mysterious!
In the midst of all this fuss,
I tremble in my shoes.

King and Bel.
Here's a splendid day for us;
I with joy shall go delirious!
All my woes are banished, thus!
By this glorious news.

(Exeunt)