University of Virginia Library

Scene Second.

—Interior of a Hunting Lodge, or Gamekeeper's Hut.
Enter Grand Duke, followed by Page.
Duke.
“To chase the deer with hound and horn,” one day,
The ballad says, “Earl Percy took his way.”
And so far am I like that great Earl Percy.
But in the sequel it's quite vice-versy;
He died for glory, as that whim they call,
Now I for glory never died at all!
Still some resemblance e'en in that may be
Found in one sense between Lord P. and me.
'Twas the last thing he did, and 'tis most true,
'Tis the last thing that I intend to do!
To the black game of war I ne'er was partial;
My court is anything but a court-martial.
When I go shooting I do not desire
That anybody should return my fire;
I like a long shot at a stag of ten—
A buck that cannot shoot at me again!
And I've come here to get one—what's o'clock?
Enter Staffhold.
Who's there?

Staff.
'Tis I! the early village cock
Hath thrice done salutation to the morn!

Duke.
Then blow those rogues! why don't they blow the horn,
And let us start?

Staff.
You'll start, sir, fast enough,
When you have heard the tidings.

Duke.
Don't talk stuff
To frighten me—you look as pale, for certain,
As he who drew one night King Priam's curtain,
And would have shouted “Fire!” but for choking,
While Priam's nightcap was already smoking.

Staff.
Your loss, I fear, is great as that of Priam.

Duke.
It can't be—he was not insured, and I am!

Staff.
Your goods may be insured from fire or water,
But did your policy include your daughter?

Duke.
Daughter—you didn't say my daughter—don't!

Staff.
You haven't got one now, sir, so I won't.

Duke.
'Tis false! we lose a son who takes a wife—
Our daughter is our daughter all her life.

Staff.
The whiles in Black Gang Chine a halt they made,
A band of darkies sang a serenade;
To the wild air they sang an air succeeded,
Which was much wilder than the Princess needed;
It tore her carriage all to little bits,
Frightened the Guard of Honour into fits!
And when their scattered senses they collected,
No trace could of her Highness be detected.

Duke.
The spell, the fatal spell! 'tis clear as day,
She's fallen a victim to that shell-fish fay!
She saw the light, and ah! “Light come, light go.”

Staff.
Some swear they saw a beautiful white doe
Into a thicket from the carriage bound.

Duke.
Desiderata, for a thousand pound;
And I, and I, oh miserable sire,
Who was so eager at some deer to fire,
In luckless hour I might have shot my daughter,
And been for life transported for manslaughter!
Or lived to see the last of all my race,
Carefully stuff'd and stuck in a glass case.
But still she is in peril just as great,
Some desperate poacher on his own estate—
Some lawless Aboriginal intruder,
May through these woods already have pursued her!
And you stand gaping there, you rascal, run,
Muzzle each dog, and seize on every gun;
On pain of death, let any hunter dare
To fire, even at nothing, in the air.
(Exit Officer)
And you (to Page)
for pen and ink this instant fly,
Page draws on table with writing materials)
(writes hastily)
Get this inserted in the “Hue and Cry,“
“Lost, stolen, or strayed on the high road to marriage,
A handsome young Princess, out of her carriage;
Had on when she was last seen a plain white
Jacket of doe skin, fitting very tight;
Vest and continuations of the same,
Goes on four legs, each of them being game.
Whoever finds and brings the pretty deer
Alive and kicking to her parents here,
Shall be rewarded”—not with dirty pelf—
We permit virtue to reward itself!

(Exit Page)
Duo—Grand Duke and Staffhold.
Air—“Dandy Jim.”
Staff.

Duke.

(Exeunt Duke and Staffhold)