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Ball room votaries

or, Canterbury and its vicinity. Second Edition, with considerable alterations and additions [by Edward Quillinan]

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View D*ck*ns now, with duck-like step approach,
As fond of talk as F*st*r of his coach:
Late as I marked her seeking out the poor,
With waddling pace, from humble door to door,
Methought 'twas charity had led her there,
And from my soul I blest her gen'rous care;
Little I thought the gabbling niggard came,
Avarice her guide, economy her aim—
To buy at cheapest rate their little store,
She sought those lowly stalls and sought no more.

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See now advance the modest well-bred D*r*ng,
Free of her sex's envious odious sneering.
And pious Br**ne her footsteps hither bend,
Dark scandal's foe, the poor one's steady friend;
While at her side the gentle S*wk*ns goes,
Prais'd, lov'd, caress'd by every one she knows;
(Or if there be a female loves her not,
Sure envy's shades that female's bosom blot).
How sweet, how pleasing is it to pourtray,
A pair like this in virtue's white array,
Each line of mild benevolence to trace,
And each soft feature on compassion's face:
Now, by my soul, though in poetic field
The arms of ridicule I strive to wield;
Though pleas'd I took what satire's hand conferr'd,
Nettles to sting of fools and knaves a herd,
Far more congenial for my fav'rite lays
Bloom the fair flowers that deck the path of praise.
Ye who, with heavy and malignant curse,
So oft have honour'd my offending verse,
Stung to the heart to find your portraits there,
Depicted in their native province fair;

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Would ye be deck'd in verse with just renown,
Go, tread the steps of S*wk*ns and of Br**ne.
With bashful mien see C**b advancing now,
A youth whose modest merits all allow;
That shy reserve and unassuming air,
His innate value and his sense declare;
Of nature amiable, of manners mild,
In want of confidence a very child:
But so much diffidence his worth conceals,
And much too low his place in life he feels;
Loves from his proper level to retreat,
And fix his station in a humbler seat,
Amidst associates of inferior birth,
Who know not how to estimate that worth.
Ah! sure 'tis pity that so fair a soul,
Misplac'd timidity should thus controul;
On the rich soil where towering elm should grow
The lowly primrose and the violet blow;
Where the proud oak his lordly branch should spread
The simple cowslip finds its humble bed.
Now mark the low disgusting contrast seen
In H****m's mind, contemptible and mean;

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In every way inferior to the youth
Whose mild acquirements I have penn'd with truth;
A weed unseemly from the dirt that sprung,
And still a stranger to his mother tongue:
Yet pert, loquacious, impudent, and free,
The fop of folly to the last degree:
Oppressive, proud, and pitiless, to each
Whom poverty has placed within his reach,
'Tis fortune only gives him the pretence;
His dullest cow-boy equals him in sense—
Yet this man apes the fashionable school,
A monkey mimic of each strutting fool;
A mark of pity for the class he'd scorn,
Of ridicule for those superior born.
Such is the man selected to advance
By the dull hand of undiscerning chance;
Blind blundering fate has given to his arms
A wife adorn'd with woman's brightest charms;
Of mind as fair as poet's chastest thought,
With every soft acquirement richly fraught.
Would that he'd learn by her superior lights
How much contempt pert ignorance excites:

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Would he'd discover from so bright a star
What silly objects self-plum'd dunces are;
Be taught to prize his own sweet person less—
His mass of hack'd impertinence repress;
In conscious dulness all pretensions sink,
And thus into his native nothing shrink.