University of Virginia Library

CANTO IX.

We mak't our business to distract
Mankind, in Societies compact;
Kings, Consuls, Tribunes could not please 'um,
Triumvirs nor Decemvirs ease 'um;
Dictators, Cæsars must Rule at large,
Make People Slaves at their own Charge.
This is the way to have all lost,
When all strive to be uppermost.
The better to work a fatal Change,
Our Emissaries about do range.
Bards, Druids, Brackmans, Augurs, Flamens,
Ægypt, Chaldee, and Romes Amens;
Fit Instruments for us to work
Ruine, to Christian, Jew or Turk.
A brave employment 'tis to Ride
Princes, and all the World divide.
The Maid of Orleans and of Kent
We set up, for no good intent.
There are other Names and Factions,
By whom we make most rare Distractions;
Inroads, Incursions and Invasions,
We lye Perdue on all Occasions;
For Destruction to all places,
And carry it out with stately Graces.

38

Commons separate from Nobles,
Causes of mutual Troubles.
The Servile War, when Slaves rebel,
Rings out a State or Kingdoms Knell.
Liberty and Prerogative
Out-stretcht, make neither Party thrive.
Suspicions, Jealousies and Fears,
Sets all together by the Ears.
Hannibal knocks at Romes Gates,
But turns back in spight of Fates.
Scipio hasts, Fabius delays,
Both their poor Country betrays.
Pompey aspires to Rule alone;
But Cæsar will be Cæsar, or none.
Not endure the Name of King;
An Emperour is every Thing.
Ephori Tribunes, Overseers,
Prove th' Plagues of Kings and Peers.
Down, down with Pen and Inkhorn Men,
And, Hey Boys up go we then.
Thirty Tyrants at a time,
In Government make a rare Chime.
Devils, they say, may soon be rais'd;
But when up, not so soon laid.
Richlieus, Cromwells, Mazarines,
Lamberts; false to King and Queens:
The Principles of Machiavel,
And the Leviathan, sprung from Hell.
Infus'd by us, upon their Beds,
Into their dull Loggerheads.
But that for us, th'had ne're transacted
The Rogueries by them compacted.

39

The Scotch and Punick Faith agree,
Believe nothing, but what you see;
St. Omers and Geneva Breed,
The Dort and the Tridentine Creed:
The Dutch are Slugs, 'tis but Civility
To believe Impossibility.
We'l warrant all our words must stand,
They do but execute our Command.
Do try us, put all upon our score,
We'l teach you ne're to b'honest more.
Would you be sure, trust to your Gammars,
The Devils are but Niny-hammers.
I'le warrant you, we'l do your business rarely,
But so, as it shall ne're be done fairly.
Be true and just says the Puling Fool,
Pack him away to the Jesuits School.
Go, starve ye lazy honest Dogs,
And keep company with Hogs;
For ye are not fit for Men, come out,
What does an Honest man among the Rout?
Kick him off the Bench, throw him or'e the Ba
What should Honesty do there?
The Pulpit will scarce hold him, it leans awry,
He'l tumble down presently.
Squat him into a Presbyterian Chair,
'Twill never hold him full nor fair.
Let him have a Confessor's Ear,
He shall come no more there.
Where shall this Honest man become?
Can the World afford him no room?
He may strike in among the Indian Slaves,
Though poor, yet they hate Knaves.

40

They refus'd Swearings, as they of Greece,
But they'd be true and keep the Peace.
To Alexander they were just,
Not Swear and Forswear, as Greeks must.
Remember Interest, worship that Numen,
Ye cannot live, if ye be True Men;
Viis & Modis, turn her and wind her,
Right or wrong, you'l be sure to find her.
Court the Rabble, invent Plots,
Raise Scruples, tye and unty Knots;
Garble the State, trip up the Crown,
Set up the Cloak, pull th' Miter down.
Private Cabals, Intrigues and Fetches,
Create miserable Wretches.
Plate Jewels, Bodkins, Thimbles, Rings,
Maintain Armies against Kings.
If all fail, Call in the Turk,
Set us Witches and the Devils to work;
Fight with Tongues, Pens and Hands,
Play at cross Purposes and Commands.
Property and Levelling,
Simpering and Revelling;
Petitions and Flattering Caresses,
Abhorrences and false Addresses.
These are Devices by us taught,
The High-way to bring all to naught.
Major-Generals, Decimators,
Surveyors, Trustees, Cross-Undertakers;
Especially those famous Tryers,
Church, State, King and Self-Denyors;
Commissaries, Patentees, Excise-Men,
Informers, Publicans, Precise-Men.

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Darby-House, or Goldsmiths-Hall,
Erected by us, Rascals all.
Saints of all Sizes, Wet and Dry,
You may believe me, I'le tell you no Lye,
Swear together to live and dye,
And give one another the Go-by.
Send them all for Expedition,
To the Rota or Inquisition.
Roman, Geneva Bulls or Bears
Fall together by the Ears.
Covenants, Associations,
Real Lines of Communications:
All these make a Charming noise
To bewitch Fools; the Cause, the Cause,
The good Old Cause, the Golden Cause!
And Hey, then up go we brave Boys.