Maggots :: :: University of Virginia Library

See the Tale of Jupiter's transmogrifying his Divinity into a Bull for the love of Europa, at every Post-dawber's in Town!—but rarely described in Lucian, in a Dialogue between Notus and Zephyrus. Quære, in this case, as was said in another of the fighting Bishop: If a Butcher had here sawcily knock'd down the Bull, what had become of the God-ship?

(Tho' sure that shape had better serv'd than now,
When beauteous Io was transform'd to Cow)

Related in the authentick Chronicle of Ovid's Metamorphosis.—The Chapter and Verse you may find at your leisure.

Who a meer Brute did'st of meer Thunder make,
A four-leg'd Lover for Europa's sake;
And when thy purchase was from shore conveigh'd,
(The shining Cargo of a Royal Maid)
Did'st to a Rudder turn thy well-hung Tayl,
Whil'st her loose flowing Garments serv'd for Sayl:
Pilot my tottering Bark with Aid Divine,
Vent'ring thro' Seas far more unknown than thine!
Help me in my Cows Tail, the rest shall be
Part of a grateful Hecatomb to Thee.

This—Hecatomb is an hard Greek word, usually taken for a Sacrifice of an hundred Oxen.—But tho' mine be a Cow, every body won't see the Bull in the case.

The Tail full oft above the Head prevails,
And Heaven and Earth resound the Praise of Tails.

See where in Heaven the Dog's bright Tail does shine
A Cynosure not half so long as mine:

The Constellation call'd the little Bear, in Greek is Cynosura, which is in plain English, Dogs-Tail.

On Earth walk where you will, in every place
One Tayl or other slaps you o're the Face.
The Kingly Lyon whirls his Sceptral Train,
Roaring at the encountring Gnat in vain;
The Victor Gnat in the next Fight does fail
And drops beneath the Cow's all-conquering Tail
That Tail which kills whate'r it's force with stands
As sure's a Club,—in Hercules's hand's.
When the mad Dog-star scatters sultry Beams
And drives the tossing Herd to shades and Streams
Armys of Flys, of different Notes and Wings
Goad 'em all ore with their vexatious stings
Vainly does now the bare-dock't Horse complain
And wish for his dismember'd Tail again;
Who of his Freedom us'd before to boast,
Then gain'd, when such a Burden he had lost
(So the sly Fox, who of his Tail could make
Hook, Net and Line, at every Brook and Lake
And when too faint he the hot Hunter flyes
With pissen Tail strike out the Terrior's Eyes.

When not so well he from the Trap had fled,
But with his Tail compounded for his Head;
To scape his salt Companions Mockery,
He'd have 'em tail-less all as well as he.)

But now the Cow with brandish'd Tail falls on,
Proclaiming open War with Accaron;

The God of Flyes,—The same with Belzebub in sacred, and Muyoides, and Jupiter Apomuyns in Profane Authors. Vid. Cowley's Annotations on Plagues of Ægypt, p. 82.

“And Accaron, the Aiery Prince, led on their various Host.

Millions of Insect-Warriors at her fly,
Millions of Insect-Warriors murmuring dye.
So falls a murdering Chain-shot whizzing round,
(Amazing, like less dreadful Thunder's sound)
When thro' a Troop of Iron Horsemen born,
Beneath the Reaper's Hook so drops the Corn.
So when the scaly Lord of fruitful Nile,
The dreadful Spear-contemning Crocodile,
Is by his trembling Enemies beset,
Trusting in vain a feeble Dart or Net;
With his Tail's Whisk he long-long Ranks o'rethrows,

That Creature is reported to have a prodigious force in his Tail, with which he sweeps down whate're comes near.

And stalks in Triumph o're his prostrate Foes.

The Turks when they'll their Enemies assail,

This is a Custom common with them to the Tartar, and many other of those barbarous Nations. If I misremember not, they deduce this Custom from their great Ottoman, the top of the Oguzian Family.

For a red Flag hang out an Horse's Tail:
Unjustly done, when it must be confess't
From this, the Cow's the far more valiant Beast.
But if from cloudy Wars we start away
To downy Pleasure's happy Sun-shine day,

There the Cow's Tail does other Tails surpass
As far as the brisk Horse the lazy Ass.
This the sage Priests of mighty Apis knew,
What e'r the rude unthinking Vulgar do.
Apis is gone; heark the lamenting Crowd
Raving about, bellow his loss aloud:
Apis is gone, nor can their Tears prevail;

The Ægyptians worshipping an Oxe, is notorious; nay, that was one of their Di majorum Gentium; their Saints and little sucking Gods, were Rats, Birds, Cats; and Leeks, Onions, (Welch Deities.) But the manner of Devotion to their Oxe, under the name of Apis, Serapis, Isis, Osiris,—made even that too as extravagant as all the rest. Among other Perquisites necessary for the Election of a new God, which was every year after they had drown'd the old; one indispensable was,—Two peculiar Hairs, and no more, on the Tail;—But why no more, nor less, as Dr. Fuller says, the Devil knows. This too explains the Verse following;

Yet they'd not care, had he but left his Tail.

Priests, Prince and People search the Stalls around,
Until the happy, happy Tail is found,
Whilst every trembling Son of Nile prepares
T'adore the sacred Tail with two white Hairs.

Ovellana, and Delaplata, Two famous Rivers in the Indys.

Nor less should th' Indian this blest Relique prize,
Without whose kind support he sinks and dies.
Where Orellana's Sea-like Waters lave

Two famous Rivers in the Indys.

The steepy Banks with a resounding Wave,
Or De-la-plata's headlong Flood-gates roar,

Two famous Rivers in the Indys.

Rolling fresh Oceans down each mouldring Shore;
Where no proud Bridge dares the wild River ride,
At a Cow's Tail the Indian stemms the Tide;

Thus Peter Martyr in his Decads.—He says, 'tis common with the Indians to tye a Stick cross-ways at the Tail of a Cow, and seating themselves thereon, drive her into the water; who being used to the sport, swims very faithfully with the Cargo behind.—If any doubt of the truth on't, 'tis but stepping over for a day or two to the Indys, and they may be speedily satisfy'd.

Ferry'd without expence of Coin or Breath,
Safe, tho' but a hairs length 'twixt him and Death:
Safer than Damocles, when at the Board

Damocles one of Dyonisius's Flatterers, admiring the Tyrant's felicity, was by his order to taste what 'twas, adorn'd with the Royal Robes, and waited on as a Prince; but for the sharp sawce with his sweet meat, when thus in all his Grandezza, at Table, a naked Sword was hung over his Head, ty'd only by a Hair, which soon spoil'd his sport, and made him glad of liberty again.

A single Hair sustain'd the shining Sword.

Ladys by the soft Magic of their Eyes,
Like Angels, wafting thro' the scattering Skys,
Weak prostrate Mortals dazle and surprize.
From Head to Foot, their Charms, their Port and State,
A Cow's Tail to the life does imitate.
Have you e're seen a Nymph at some bright Hall,
In a Triumphant Masquerade or Ball,
Move soft and smooth like Gales of Western Wind,
Whilst her loose flowing Train sweeps far behind;
Even so, believ't, the Cow's Tail dangles down,
Like supernumerary piece of Gown:
The Ancients or Historians Lies have told,

Yellow hair was accounted a great piece of Beauty, not only by the old Romans, and that part of the World; but here in England too: Among other Receipts for finifying the face, &c. in an old English Book, there's a way to make the Hair yellow.

Pure Carrots call'd pure Threds of beaten Gold:
Tho' Goats Pulvilio's hardly ranker smell,
Nor any wrizzled Succubus of Hell:
But all which to our nicer World appear
For Marks of Beauty, all concenter here;
The Tail's Complexion is a lovely Fair,
Shaded around with charming cole-black hair.
Now, Tail right Worshipful! I'l lead thee home,
As great as conquering Scipio entring Rome;

Thee to a place of rest I'l calmly bear,
Like Turkey Rams in a triumphant Carr.

Mr. Sands and others that write of the Eastern Countrys, describe a kind of Sheep there, whose Tails weigh forty pound a piece, and are alway drawn after 'em by a little Cart.

For such as faults with my Cow's Tail have found,
Here's a fair Rump;—Genteels! you're welcom round.
Hur Cow shall now with any Cow compare;
Let any say hur Cow is hurs, that dare.

Alluding to a Story of a Welch-man who stole a Cow with a cut Tail, and brought it to Market, but artificially sew'd on anther Tail;—The owner sees it at the Market, looks wistly on't, and concludes, if it had not a Tail too much, he durst swear 'twas his own: At this hur Welch Plud draws hur Knife, cuts the Tail off above the place where 'twas sow'd on, throws t'other piece into the River, and bids him now own it if he dar'd.